you know you're an F1 fan

On Twitter there's an account called "Ur an F1 Fan If" or something like that.The idea behind it is you start off with the @ur and F1 fan if...........and then add your own little gem and I thought it might work well on here, so I'll start us off................

You know you're an F1 fan if

when you hear the letters HRT, you think of a defunct F1 team and not some sort of medication

Keep em short, like a tweet 

...when you buy juice from the store, you choose Rauch because they sponsor a F1 team

...when you're walking down a corridor with a bend, you take the racing line.

You hate Red Bull because of F1 domination rather than because it tastes like regurgitated gnat's piss.

...you see nothing wrong in naming your daughter Jenson Lewis (not that I have)

You know you're a Honda fan

when you hear the letters HRT, you think of "Honda Racing Team" even tho no such abbreviation exists regarding Honda's racing activity.

...when you're walking down a corridor with a bend, you take the racing line.

You keep the TV on after TOs...

...you stupidly agree to spend your free time moderating a motorsport forum.

...when you're walking down a corridor with a bend, you take the racing line.

or you come really close to people walking in front of you in the mall and then pass them helped by the tow...

...you spend one of your two precious nights in Vegas hunting down a bar where they show it on the big screens.

When you leav your job because they've decided to sponsor a team or driver who is in direct competition to your own driver/team.

...when you are shopping with a trolley and try to go as smooth as possible, and to hit every "apex". (I've done this ever since I was little. Adds a bit of fun to an otherwise boring activity.)

...when you name corners on your local B roads after corners on F1 circuits.

... you stop for fuel or call in at a service station and you tell your passengers that you're making a pit stop.

Edited by GoodSister, 25 September 2013 - 17:32.

when days in advance you find yourself planning the GP day special breakfast

You meet a guy called Jen-Hsung but you are thinking about Jenson

...When you can instantly name the world champion for any year in F1 history from memory.

...when you HATE the movie Rush because of a minor petty liberty the producers took because OMG it's not acually 1976 anymore and the real stuff was hard or expensive to reproduce and WTF it wasn't the FIA back then FFS they RUINED MY LIFE, yeah?

If you're walking down the sidewalk and someone else steps onto the road to let you pass, and then you have to go stand on someone's porch for 10 seconds because you "forced another competitor off the track".

Edited by Andrew Hope, 25 September 2013 - 17:30.

When you stand as close as possible to the long straight at Monza GP and refuse to wear ear plugs to enjoy the infernal screaming of the engines when the cars fly by with 340 kmh

... you spend days working out how to save radio five on your car's radio so you don't miss a second of practice.

When a very seductive "When are you coming to bed honey"  is followed by "as soon as they announce what action they are taking against..." 

... when you would rather watch F1 than play football.

...when you drive in racing line with the shopping cart in the Super Market!

or you come really close to people walking in front of you in the mall and then pass them helped by the tow...

hey, there's nothing wrong with that 

... when you find yourself reading this.

When your boss reaches over your shoulder, moves your mouse to click on the "home" button and up pops autosport.com

Sometimes when I'm watching an onboard during a race, my fingers will flick when the driver should be upshifting or downshifting, as if I had the paddles in my hands or something. But I don't have anything in my hand except a note saying YOU'RE NOT A RACE CAR DRIVER!

sigh..

When you think about about how you would start getting your unborn child into karts and eventually F1..

When something F1-related enters into your dreams a couple of times every week.

You get all excited when there's an F1 question on A Question of Sport...

...and all angry when the contestants don't know the answer, despite you shouting at the TV. Grr! The answer is OBVIOUSLY Giancarlo Fisichella!

Sometimes when I'm watching an onboard during a race, my fingers will flick when the driver should be upshifting or downshifting, as if I had the paddles in my hands or something. But I don't have anything in my hand except a note saying YOU'RE NOT A RACE CAR DRIVER!

 

sigh..

When you're watching onboards on a laptop in your car (parked!) and you find yourself accelerating and braking in tandem with the drivers...

...you stupidly agree to spend your free time moderating a motorsport forum.

Classic!! haha

Too much F1 when..

..banging your foot on the doorway after waking up in the morning is referred to for the rest of the day as a first-corner incident

..you buy a pack of cigarettes at the store and instantly think of all the great liveries we're never going to see again

..when you ask a girl out and find out she has a boyfriend, so you get sulky and think "Fernando is faster than you"

..you've stopped three times in the middle of this 20-second post to Youtube "BRM V16", "Matra sound" and "BMW hillclimb"

..when you screw up at work but no one says anything, so you figure they must be investigating that one after the race

..you tell yourself you're not boring, you're Kimi Raikkonen

When you go for a walk on a rainy day and make a 360-degree turnaround imagining you made a spin on a wet patch.

When you go for a walk on a rainy day and check the bottom of your shoes to be sure you have got the pattern cuts in there to enable sufficient grip in slippery conditions.

When you check the tyres on your bicycle or car before going out and wonder, where to buy slick tyres as it is a dry day at the moment.

When you are driving a car, you are tempted to attack the kerbing to "gain some time" over rivals.

When you are behind traffic lights in a car and intend to get ahead of the car alongside you.

When you are behind traffic lights in a car and wonder, how to overtake the cars in front as "there appears not to be enough of a gap to go through straight between them and gain many positions".

When you are behind traffic lights on foot and try to make a perfect start waiting for the green light and get a significant advantage over other people waiting for the light.

When you are driving a car somewhere on a road and ponder overtaking someone in front, then realizing that overtaking might be a more difficult task than you thought, because the car in front "might still have some KERS power left to defend his position."

When you are in a car and after turning to a straight wonder, where is the DRS button.

...when you did everything possible not miss a race in 30 years! ...and feel sad, as you still missed two or three 

Before going to contract negotiations with an employer, you wonder whether to prefer a 3-year-deal or a 2+1-year deal with options. You also ponder whether you should bring some sponsorship money with you to get the deal done.

When you sit in a car you wonder whether you need to do a seat-fitting to have a more comfortable driving seat.

When you try to park your car in a parking lot, you are aiming to slot your car perfectly into the box to enable the "guys to start working on the car straigthaway".

When you are turning your car into the garage you are thinking there is a lot of nights-work to do to set up the car properly for tomorrow's race.

When you reach a city area in your car and see the sign of the maximum speed limit in the city, you are looking for a pitlane-speed limiter to continue driving at that speed.

When you walk somewhere inside a house and imagine yourself taking a turn too "optimistically" and hit the wall with your side on your way out of the corner.

When you walk somewhere in a house and get slightly lost before turning back, you are convinced you missed your braking point and entered the run-off area.

When your leg hurts, you are pondering whether you have a "suspension failure".

When your stomach hurts, you are pondering whether your engine has blown up.

When you are going out in the morning, but aren't sure, whether it will start raining during the day or not, you are wondering, how to "setup" yourself to deal with the conditions.

When you are walking on the road and intend to take a corner, you aim to attack the kerb, if there is one, and take a little bit extra bit from the grass, but you know you have to make sure you don't go completely onto the grass with both legs as that would be sufficient to hand you a drive through penalty for taking a shortcut.

When you are somewhere outside and it starts raining, you are wondering whether you should opt for intermediate tyres.

When you plan to go from A to B either on foot or by vehicle, you put in place your "race strategy". If it is a long journey from one city to another, you might ponder whether to make one or two pitstops during the journey.

When you come to a stop or destination in a car, you immediately check the tyres to make sure whether they are too worn and need to get changed. Then you remind yourself that thankfully I am not "racing" on Pirellis.

If it is raining outside, you are looking for a dry line largely due to the fact that in the wet there might be "aquaplaining".

When you are driving a car, you apply the throttle and brakes gently to "conserve tyres" as you are aware they need to last for the "whole stint".

When you are working at your workplace, you are aiming to doing everything very efficiently, fast and with great punctuality, thinking you "are a Schumacher, who is a perfectionist in every aspect".

When you are wondering what to do next, you remember Ross Brawn and that you need a proper strategy to go through the next set of activities.

When you look at buses or other big boxy vehicles, you are not impressed, thinking they are "not aerodynamically efficient".

When you are entering a bus in a bus-stop, you are counting time for how long does the bus take its pitstop and whether it is right up there with the fastest pit-stop times.

hey, there's nothing wrong with that 

I know, and normally you have to wait for people to pass the other way on the other side so you have to time your approach just right. Its more like driving on a 2 lane road really.

...when you're walking down a corridor with a bend, you take the racing line.

There is nothing wrong with this!

When you see an empty roundabout as a chicane...

When you left foot brake your manually shifted car...

When your two year old wants to watch "fast cars" with you mondays!

When you think "the song of the italians" is the second verse of "Deutschland über alles"

... when you cant watch a race without live timing on your laptop. ( this is very true for me!)

When you wake up early/sleep late to watch 1.5 hour of FP1&FP2 to check the F1 backmarchers and rejects 'driving style'.

When I became sick of Davidoff and started to smoke Marlboro just because of Ferrari

When you time the yellow light on the intersection to be the first to start with the green.

When someone passes you on the road you try to pass them again.

When you see your passenger trying to push a brake on their floor mat.

When you have tried to slide on purpose on a corner on a wet street driving a SUV.

When you try to learn heel-toe for driving in the city.

When you try to finish all the GT games and have to buy the steering wheel and pedals because the joystick just isn´t enough...

When you scream at the TV whenever your favorite driver passes your least favorite driver.

When you create a league in the Castrol GP Predictor.

When, after all this time, you still read the posts about which driver is better.

When you take the time to try to write a post explaining why X or Y makes F1 better/worse.

When you're totally not a morning person, unless it's FP1 in Australia.

... when terms such as DRS, KERS, EBD, ******** ignition, off throtlle blowing etc... is not some foreign language to you!

Also when you buy McLaren's T-shirt and you don't support McL team at all but they are F1 team

When you are shocked when you see this