So many conspiracy theories. I'll add one too.
Starting grid. Superb pole by Kovalainen ahead of Hamilton, Massa, Kubica, Raikkonen. Top10 is rounded up with Vettel, Trulli, Alonso, Bourdais and Heidfeld.
Race start. Kovalainen stalls on the grid with Hamilton and Massa blasting into T1. Massa tries to go though the inside, but hits Hamilton, who spins. Raikkonen can't avoid a suddenly stalled Massa and hits him. Red flag. Stewards decide Hamilton has to be disqualified from the Grand Prix - the reasoning is that he caused an avoidable accident - and won't be allowed to take the restart. Mclaren tries to appeal - the appeal will take place after the race. Telemetry and other stuff will be analyzed after the race, no time for this atm.
Start 2. Kovalainen happily takes his #1 grid position he couldn't use at the first start. Kovalainen makes a brilliant start and flies away from everyone. In the last sector on lap1 at Variante Ascari Raikkonen and Massa collide and spin while in P3 and P4 behind Kubica. Red flag, of course.
Start 3. Kovalainen makes a nice getaway, but Massa takes the first chicane straight and goes into the lead. At the back there is a major pile-up with Coulthard taking out most of the second half of the grid. Kovalainen runs wide and Raikkonen makes it Ferrari 1-2. Someone has been injured and needs help to get out of the wreckage in the middle of the road, but stewards decide for a safety car.
Rolling start: Massa, Raikkonen, Kovalainen, Kubica, Trulli, Vettel, Bourdais, Heidfeld.
6th lap. Raikkonen spins in Variante della Roggia and Kovalainen avoids him by going straight on. Raikkonen resumes in 4th. Kovalainen is awarded a stop and go (not drive through!) penalty for purposly cutting the chicane.
Massa's first pitstop. Mechanics make a mockery of it. Kubica takes the lead ahead of Raikkonen and Massa. Kovalainen has been handed another stop and go for almost hitting another car on the pitlane after "unsafe release" following his previous stop and go.
Kubica leads, all looks fine for BMW. Raikkonen and Massa are right behind though. Suddenly Kubica has been handed a drive through penalty for an unsporting behaviour ahead of Ferraris. Confirmation will come after the race.
Raikkonen leads Massa and on the last lap Domenicali says on the team radio: "Kimi, let Felipe pass for the championship". Kimi refuses to do it and after the Monza race Ferrari announces that the Finn will be sacked after this season. Trulli is a fantastic third until his engine mysteriously blows up on the penultimate lap. Later it turns out that a banana has been found in the cooling system of Toyota thanks to mad Tifosi, who couldn't stand the Italian driver catching the cruising Ferraris in the closing laps by 2 seconds a lap. So Kubica inherits third, but will get disqualified after the race, which means an awesome achievement for Toro Rossos - 3rd for Frenchman and 4th for German. Kovalainen and Heidfeld rouns up the top6.
McLaren's postrace appeal will end with the extension of Hamilton's race-ban by one race, it means including the Singapore Grand Prix.
Kubica's penalty was reasoned with forcing the Ferraris behind him to drive in dirty air and by passing backmarkers, which didn't enable Ferraris to get alongside him.
Kubica was disqualified, because during his last pitvisit he had almost ran over a Ferrari mechanic, who dangerously ran over the pitlane.