Just a silly thought (it's lunch time here!) but if this Forum were to sponsor a F1 team, what would it be? I suggest that we have the following:-

Drivers : J-M Fangio (Arg) & J Clark (GB)
Chassis : Lotus 72
Engine : Matra-Simca V12
Gearbox : Hewland (what else?)
Tyres : Dunlop
Fuel/Oil : Shell
Team Manager : Neubauer (is that right ? the Mercedes man anyway..)
Colour Scheme : national colours would be inappropriate for an international effort, so my favourite would be the Warsteiner gold livery used by Arrows - beer is great, but lets not have a fag packet!

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BRG

"all the time, maximum attack"

Drivers: J-M Fangio (ARG) and S.Moss (GB)
Chassis: Lotus 72
Engine: BMW Turbo
Gearbox: Hewland
Tyres: Michelin
Fuel/Oil: Agip
Team Manager: Ross Brawn
Colour Scheme: Matt Black

Love the matt black, Darrin..
How about this for a different line-up:
Drivers: Fearless John and Keke Rosberg (Richie Ginther testing)
Car: "Lobster claw" Brabham BT34
Engineer: Mo Nunn
Team Mgr: Stirling Moss
Engine: Peugeot V10
Gearbox: Weismann (just to be different)
Colour: Red with white broad arrow (Surtees style)


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Life and love are mixed with pain...

Or we could have an all - Australian team:
Drivers: Alf Barrett, Frank Matich, Allan Tomlinson
Cars: A new design from Tony Alcock (Birrana)
Engine: Repco twin cam V8 modified by Phil Irving to give a separate oil system to the valve gear.
Gearbox: Holinger, of course.
Team Manager: David McKay assisted by Jack Nelson
Race Engineers: Dave Mawer, Bruce Carey
Colour: Alf's car red, Frank's pale blue.
What most of you 'foreigners' won't appreciate is that David has no chance whatever of keeping this lot in check once the race is over, or how hard he'll try to!

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Life and love are mixed with pain...

To hell with Warsteiner beer; if we really want to have fun at our victory celebrations:

Drivers: Nelson Piquet (BR) and James Hunt (GB)
Test Driver: Innes Ireland (GB)
Team Manager: Rob Walker
Chassis: D-Type Auto Union
Engine: Ditto
Gearbox: ZF
Tires: Goodyear
Fuel/Oil: BASF
Colors: Black and Gold (like you-know-what minus the logo)

I've got it!!!

Chassis: Lotus 49
Engine: Matra V12
Drivers: Chris Amon & Innes Ireland
Manager: Bubbles Horsley
Engineer: Harvey Postlewaite
Tires: Dunlop
Fuel(engine) Shell
Fuel(driver) Stoli

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"I Was Born Ready"

I am with Ray, very patriotic. Here is Team New Zealand.

Drivers: Denny Hulme and Chris Amon
Designer: Bruce McLaren
Chassis: Mclaren M23
Team Manager: Phil Kerr
Race Engineer: Hec Green
Media Liasion: Eoin S Young
Director of entertainment: Chris Amon
Colour: Black with Silver Fern (just like the
All Blacks and THAT boat)
Sponsors: The NZ Government
Tyres: Black and round
Petrol: Methanol
Engine: Anything except BRM

Seeing as you don't have any well-know gearbox manufacturers in NZ - and old Hillman units can't be modified to suit - you'd better get a Holinger box too. I'm sure Peter would talk through his teeth to sound like a Kiwi.
(Love that accent! Ever heard a Kiwi girl say "I rode on e ski lft."?)

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Life and love are mixed with pain...

[This message has been edited by Ray Bell (edited 04-13-2000).]

And maybe you should use the engine out of the Morarri?

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Life and love are mixed with pain...

If this thread is going the way of National Dream Teams, please find here my rather ridiculous "Dutchies rule" entry. Probably the only one to enjoy this one is Marcel Schot!

Drivers: Carel Godin de Beaufort, Gijs van Lennep
Car: Boro 001
Engine: DAF (yes, they used to have a proper F3 engine!)
Team manager: Ben Pon
Engineer: Dino Toso
Fuel: Shell
Tyres: Vredestein
Refuelling mechanic: Jos Verstappen
Colours: Orange
Sponsor: HB Alarm Systems

Seriously, the following unassorted bunch is what I would like to see:

Drivers: Piers Courage & Patrick Depailler
Car: Brabham BT49
Engine: Ferrari flat-12
Owner: Walter Wolf
Team manager: Rob Walker
Engineer: Carlo Chiti
Tyres: Goodyear
Fuel: Esso
Colour: scarlet
Sponsors: none

Or, referring to Huw Jenjin's thread, how about this one? The Worst GP Team of the Century:

Drivers: Al Pease & Jean-Denis Deletraz
Car: Kurtis-Kraft midget
Engine: Life W12
Owner: Andrea Sassetti
Team manager: Willi Kauhsen
Chief Designer: Gordon Fowell (of 'Goral' Tecno & Amon FA101 fame)
Aerodynamicist: Luigi 'Eifelland' Colani
Main sponsor: Cafe de Colombia (courtesy of Ricardo Londono)
Exhaust: Stebro Exhaust Systems
Colours: any colour scheme which would make a thousand penny-wise pound-foolish sponsors happy
Fuel: diesel

Cheers,
R.D

Racer.Demon - surely your driver should be Philippe Adams rather than Jean-Denis Deletraz? At least Deletraz is a half decent GT racer, whereas Adams hasn't exactly ever done much!

Makes some sense, Darren, but I still beg to differ.

Adams dominated the 1993 British F2 championship. Which means Philippe was a half-decent single-seater racer! Now what is the better breeding ground for F1?

Another candidate would be Peter Broeker, but I let his Stebro company do the honour of supplying the exhaust system...

How about Johnny Carwash? Oh no, he's a half-decent sportscar racer these days >;-)

MD

Ah, my silly thought seems to have appealed to a few of you!

It’s lunch time again and as this has gone towards national teams, worst teams etc, how about Scuderia Controversia? It would be a pleasure to work on the sort of atmosphere that this team would generate!!

Drivers : M. Schumacher & A. Senna (equal #1 status)
Car : Brabham fan-car
Engine : BRM H-16
Joint Team Managers : E. Ferrari, L. Stanley
Commercial Manager : B.C. Ecclestone
Designer : J. Barnard
Chief Engineer : P. Head
Car #1 Engineer (Schumacher) : R. Dennis
Car #1 Engineer (Senna) : A. Prost
Tyres : front right Goodyear, front left Pirelli
rear right Michelin, rear left Bridgestone
Fuel : Essex Petroleum
Sponsors : London Rubber Company,


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BRG

"all the time, maximum attack"

BRG - you must have spent 24 hours working on that one. From the first line it was a good collection.
But the Kiwis still need a hand, so I'd like to suggest:

Drivers: Frank Radisich and Rod Coppins
Car: Morrari (or was it Morarri?)
Engine: as defined by Morrari*
Transaxle: Regal Underslung (I know there are two in NZ)
Team Manager: Donn Anderson
Colour: Boot polish black
Preparation: Eoin Young
Sponsor: the NZ dairy industry

* ten points to any Nth American or European who can explain the origin of the Morrari.

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Life and love are mixed with pain...

Driver : Senna, Lauda, test driver Amon
Chasis : Brabham BT44 - no sponsers
Engine : Matra v12
Tires : GoodYear
Fuel : Agip
Manager : Rob Walker
Color : White, thin blue stripes

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"Hugo, have you ever tried Ouzzo?"
"Madame I have tried everything."
"Well last night I had Ouzzo with some Greeks. Allot of Ouzzo."
"And what was you husband doing when all this Greek and Ouzzo business was going on?"
"The same thing he's always doing the night before a race; trying to sleep."

Scuderia Atlas Gran Premio

Works drivers: Juan Fangio, Stirling Moss, Jim Clark
Works Test Driver & Occasional Driver: Richie Ginther
Works-Supported Customer Cars: John Surtees, Keke Rosberg, Gilles Villeneuve, Mario Andretti
Chassis & Engine & Gearbox: Maserati 250F
Tires: Pirelli
Fuel/Oil: Shell
Team Manager: Bubbles Horsley
Engineer: Mauro Forghieri
Color: Red...as if there WAS a choice for the works cars!
Sponsor: Surely you jest...


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Yr fthfl & hmbl srvnt,

Don Capps

Semper Gumbi: If this was easy, we’d have the solution already…

Hmmm...... Seeing how British F2 has never really been that good since the days it was renamed from British F3000, I still don't think that Philippe Adams doing well there proves much. Besides, it was his lamentable performance which supposedly led to the FIA tightening up superlicence requirements.

R.D : Cool Dutch entry Personally I think the distaster would be bigger if we'd appoint Huub Rothengatter as teammanager

My best "new" entry:
drivers : Gilles Villeneuve & Ayrton Senna
tester : Michael Schumacher
chassis : McLaren MP4-4
engine : 1995 Renault 3.0 V10
tyres : Michelin
fuel : Shell
manager : Colin Chapman
colours : Red with gold lines like Lotus JPS

My best "old" entry:
drivers : Jim Clark & Juan Manuel Fangio
tester : Stirling Moss
chassis : Lotus 49
engine : 1963 Climax 1.5 V8
tyres : Goodyear
fuel : Shell
manager : Colin Chapman
colours : original Lotus 49 green

My worst entry:
drivers : Taki Inoue & Giovanni Lavaggi
tester : Arturo Merzario
chassis : Life LF190
engine : Life W12
tyres : the invisible kind Irvine used 1 of last year
fuel : Air
manager : Arturo Merzario
colours : Pink & Purple

Marcel: we could always appoint Huub as the Team Orange commercial manager... (the sort of role Guy Edwards used to have for Lotus).

I've tried to include Jan Lammers somewhere in the line-up, but came up empty. Any ideas?

R.D

Darren: I won't say Adams was any good (he was terrible in his own right) but I still think JDD was even worse.

Adams may been the cause of tightening superlicense requirements - although 'tight' can't be the right word when Mazzacane is still allowed in! - but JDD's Pacific performance (or rather lack of) caused the 107% to be introduced for 1996. I always thought his "mobile chicane" performance at the 1994 Australian GP was the worst of the decade, while his Pacific days were clouded by ridiculously poor qualifying efforts - Estoril comes to mind, where he was a shocking 15 secs off pole... So Jean-Denis is still my man! Just like Ricardo Rosset, who also had a fine pre-F1 pedigree, he just seemed overwhelmed by F1. Or just plain scared!

To everyone else: apologies about bickering on a topic dating back just six years. Is that nostalgic enough for you?

R.D

Sorry to get in late folks but the "Good" international team for me would be:

Ronnie Peterson and Jean Alesi
Test Driver: Damon Hill
Team manager: Ross Brawn
designer for next year: Adrian Newey
Car: Lotus 72D
Engine: DFV (whats the fascination with the Matra, you'd never finish a race)
Gearbox: what ever the 312T used to blow everybody's socks off
Colours: one of those pearlescent white jobs that changes to reveal the nationalities of and car driver depending on the light refraction
Sponsor: Microsoft
tyres:Goodyear

Then there is the disaster entry, Which has some redeeming features.........

Engine: BRM V16, dropped in favour of Arrows' Porsche engine half way through the season
Chassis: What number Ferrari was the one which ended Capelli's career?
gearbox: Colotti
Team Manager: Chris Amon
Owner: Louis Stanley
Drivers:Satoro Nakajima, Emilio de Villota
Test Driver:Ronnie Peterson
Sponsor:Berrings Bank
Financial controller Nick Leeson
Tyres :The ones that Toleman were going to use for Stefan Johanssen
Colours: Grey with grey stripe
Designer:Artoro Merzario
Test Base: Mexico

Controversial:
No1 Driver Alan Jones
No2 Micheal Schumacher
PR manager and relief Driver: Nigel Mansell
PR Manager's Boss: Nelson Piquet
Test Driver: James Hunt
Team Manager: Gunther Schmidt of ATS
Tyres: James Hunts Italian GP practice tyres 1976
Designer Colin Chapman
Team Engineer Tom Walkinshaw
Engine:Any Ferrari Monza Qualifying Engine
Chassis: Tyrrell 012
Sponsor London Rubber Company
Team Colours: Very light pink

RD : how about Lammers as testdriver? He's certainly used to driving a lot of distance per testday.

Racer.demon: are you sure DAF used their own engine for F3? I can't remember they ever built own engines (except for heavy trucks of course). In production cars they used Renault engines, and in Rallycross Ford engines. I thought the F3 engine was also a Ford, fitted with the DAF variomatic transmission.

I am in agreement with Leo: I don't recall DAF using anything but their transmission in the F3 car.

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Yr fthfl & hmbl srvnt,

Don Capps

Semper Gumbi: If this was easy, we’d have the solution already…

Leo/Don: you're absolutely right. DAF used an engine from Cosworth, albeit a heavily tweaked one to create the top-end power needed to suit their own CVT transmission. It made for a very strange back end...

But what now for my Team Orange? It leaves me without an engine!

There's always the Maybach 5.7-litre engine used in the early post-WW1 models from Spyker - or why not go the whole hog and plump for one of their aircraft engines?

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Life and love are mixed with pain...

Ray,
Me thinks there is a bit of Aussie jealousy sneaking in because we thought of radically modifying a Morris Minor for racing before you guys did . At least no one has suggested that 'Team NZ' has a sheepskin lined seat, or is sponsored by the wool industry! BTW Ray where is Ken Kavanagh in the Australian team?

Here is another dream team to muse over

Drivers: Rosemeyer,Behra and Gilles Villenueve (oh Yeah!!!)
Chassis: Alfa Romeo 512 (properly developed)
Team Manager: Neubauer
Designer: Gordon Murray
Development Engineers: Ulhenhart and Amon
Engine: NOVI
Gearbox: Ferrari 312T
Tyres: Engelbredt (love the name - hope the spellings correct)
Petrol and oil: Agip
Sponsor: Rob Walker

Interestingly though, no one has nominated Nuvolari as a driver.....yet.

[This message has been edited by KzKiwi (edited 04-17-2000).]

Ray,
Are you playing Possum?

Can I spill the beans on the Morrari yet?

Or, if you like, you can reveal the truth.

Perhaps this should be included or expanded on in the "Australasian specials" thread of early March 2000?

So now the world will know how silly the Kiwis really are.... come on, you tell 'em!

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Life and love are mixed with pain...

The most obscure entry could be:

Chassis: Berta LR
Engine: Serenissima
Drivers: Tom Jones, Alberto Uria (Frank Dochnal as testdriver)
Tyres: Englebert
Sponsor: USSR-PIC
Teamboss: Loris Kessel (well, he was the one who entered the Apollon, wasn't he?)

Team Royale:

well that's as far as I've got really. Castrol oil, A Welsh flag painted as the colour scheme & Paul Frere as the official "third" guest driver at Spa but I just can't plump for one over the other yet in all the other categories. Probably Fangio as one of the drivers...

Drivers: S. C. Moss and T. Nuvolari
Test Driver: G. Hill (occasional 3rd car)
Chassis: Lotus 33 (prepared by A. Francis)
Engine: Climax (gearbox not Colotti)
Tyres: Dunlop
Fluids: BP
Manager: R. Walker
Colours: Scottish (what else?)

vs.

Drivers: J. Clark and J. M. Fangio
Test Driver: A. Prost (occasional 3rd car)
Chassis: BRM P578
Engine: BRM
Tyres: Dunlop
Fluids: Shell
Manager: A. Neubauer
Colours: national (dri.)

Whaddya say, who'd win? I don't know, but I'd be rooting for 1st team...

Drivers: Pedro, Ricardo Rodriguez and Moises Solana
Chasis: Glas
Engine: Renault (developed by DINA)
Team manager: Jo Ramirez
Tires: Euzkadi
Main sponsor: Corona!
Colours: mexican gold
Petrol and oil: Pemex

Drivers: Stirling Moss, Gilles Villeneuve
Test Driver: Jackie Stewart
Chassis:Brabham BT46
Spare Chassis: Vanwall (plus all relevant parts)
Engine: Alfa Romeo (well, really I mean Renault, but a BT46 without the Alfa is unthinkable)
Team Manager: Ken Tyrell
Chief Mechanic: ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tyres: Michelin
Oil and Petrol: Gulf
Colour: Red (of course)
Main Sponsor: As Don said, are you really serious....?
Small flag next to driver: Welsh

What a wonderful thread!

Apologies if someone's already mentioned this and I missed it... but the most fitting (and financially robust) sponsor would surely be ''Eoin Young's Specialist Book Broking Service''...

Searching for something else, I came accross this old thread, some of which creased me. So, let's have a go. Here is Team Not A Prayer:

Chassis - upgraded Prowess Formula Ford.
Engine- Rotorvic
Gearbox - Lotus Queerbox
Development Engineer - Peter Berthon
Fuel - Tesco 95RON
Tyres - Whitewalls
Team manager - Gunter Schmidt
Drivers: Jake Allport and Colin Hyams
Colour - same idea as the latest Honda F1, but based on the Moon.

However, the lack of oxygen sensor in the engine means that it wouldn't notice the fuel problems......

...

or (from a GP perspective):

Chassis: VM
Engine: Gleed MG turbo
Drivers: Robert O'Brien, Willie Ferguson
Tyres: Avon
Sponsor: La Varesina SOFAM
Manager: Kurt Kuhnke
Colour: Egyptian Racing Mauve

Drivers: Jim Clark-Dan Gurney
Test Driver:Chris Amon
Chassis:Gurney Eagle
Engine:Westlake V12
Team Manager: Ken Tyrell
Tyres: Michelin
Oil and Petrol:Shell
Color:Original
Main Sponsor: As Don said, are you really serious.

Drivers: Jackie Stewart, Jim Clark
Test Drivers: Riccardo Patrese, Nelson Piquet
Chassis: Matra MS80
Engine: Ferrari Flat-12
Team Principal: Sir Frank Williams
Team Manager: Ken Tyrrell
Chief Mechanic: Nigel Stepney
Tyres: Michelin
Oil and Petrol: Elf
Colour: Red


Team Disgruntled

Drivers: Nigel Mansell, René Arnoux
Test Driver: Ronnie Peterson
Chassis: Dywa
Engine: Life W12
Team Principal: Guy Ligier
Team Manager: Günther Schmidt
Chief Mechanic: Has been fired, re-hired, then quit in disgust
Tyres: Pirelli
Oil and Petrol: AGIP
Colour: United of Benetton (1986 livery)

Team Canada B

Drivers: Allen Berg, Peter Broeker
Chassis: Stebro
Motor: 2 yrs out of date Cosworth
Tyres: leftovers from Canada A...
Colors: Red and White

Team Canada A (Team PQ is PQ is ascendent)

Drivers: Jacques and Gilles
Chassis: Williams
Motor: 1979 Ferrari Flat 12
Tyres: Hoosier Sprintcar slicks (Hey, the car's going to be sideways, why not use tires designed to be used sideways....)
Colors: Blue and White

Team: Scuderia Spaghetti und Schnitzel

Drivrs: Nuvolari and Rosemeyer
Car: Alfa 158
Colors: red and silver
Team Owner :Ferrari
Team Manager: Neubauer
fuel: noxious as George W Bush