QUOTE (Tim Murray @ May 16 2009, 20:05)

Tony, Tony, Tony - do you have any idea of the dreadful effect Miss Syrup's revelations about her great-niece is having on my young chum Bingo? He had always believed that she was as pure as the morning dew on a lovely English rose, but now . . . he is quite off his oats and has taken to the bottle. What am I to do?
Tim, I mentioned your concerns about Bingo to Gwendolyn, and although a little dismissive at first, she mellowed after a fifth gin and tonic and said that, yes, it was unfortunate that so many, many young men became besotted with Honoria. She has always been aware of Honoria's fatal attractivness, which, allied with her availability, is heady stuff for all but the least romantic of men. Honoria's life has mirrored Gwendolyn's in surprising detail, even the de-flowering by a member (pun intended) of the Royal Family at just thirteen, followed by becoming the toast of London society, Parliament, the City and every Rugby ground within a long taxi-ride of Bayswater, by which I think she means from Cornwall to Newcastle.
Gwendolyn suggested that a good dose of oats might be the very thing to comfort and strengthen young Bingo, in other words to adopt Honoria's own
modus operandi, and throw himself whole-heartedly into many, many affairs. As for the bottle, a couple of Jereboams a night should do no harm
as long as he works it off!The Sony Vaio was covered by insurance, and although she is still a little wary of her new machine, she hopes to be able to contribute personally in the near future. I have advised her to keep her pink gin a little further from the keyboard. She has, I should report, given me a full view of her
enbonpoint and, whilst there is still some sign of the heat that it was subjected to, the new fullness is very impressive, and there is a youthfull firmness that she is rather pleased with. It's an ill wind...