ROOTERS - God has been fined $100M after stewards of the Malaysian Grand Prix determined he brought the sport into disrepute. At issue is the rain storm which eventually ended the race on 4 April at Sepang. After the race the stewards summoned God to appear before them and demanded an explanation for why the rain didn't come as expected but rather held off with some teasing misting of parts of the track. After the initial downpour failed to occur teams switched from full wet tires to intermediates. Only then did the full downpour occur, embarrassing the teams back onto full wets, and eventually causing a red flag and the end of the race.
An FIA spokesperson told Rooters, "Clearly God misled us with the dark clouds and caused some teams to look like fools for switching to full wets long before the rain arrived. This is unacceptable behavior from a deity and we will not allow God to make an important Formula 1 team look foolish." Clearly, the spokesperson is referring to the decision by Ferrari to switch Kimi Raikkonen to full wet tires so early that they were well worn by the time the rains came in earnest. Additionally, the spokesperson revealed that, "when God was initially interviewed, he told us he hadn't had anything to do with the rain in Sepang on race day because he had been busy responding to the many prayers coming from churches across Europe on that Sunday morning." The stewards have investigated this claim and believe God misled them after the stewards discovered evidence of multiple prayers from the paddock asking God to hold the rain and then later asking him to open the floodgates. Said the FIA spokesperson, "When this evidence came to light, we called God back in to explain his actions. He apologized to us and once he provides us with the $100M fine we have levied, we will consider the case closed." Despite these assurances, it is assumed the the World Council could decide to permanently exclude God from future races.
In related news, McLaren have been fined $100M for praying for the rain to hold off when they saw Ferrari switching to full wets.
God Fined by FIA
Started by
Driver
, Apr 13 2009 14:48
45 replies to this topic
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#2
TickTickBooom
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 14:51
Oh that's too, too funny! Nicely done!
#3
Gilles12
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 14:51
But the question remains
Was God acting alone or is there a systemic culture of deception and cheating endemic in the heavens?
Since Christ is God's right hand man he must have known what was going on
Was God acting alone or is there a systemic culture of deception and cheating endemic in the heavens?
Since Christ is God's right hand man he must have known what was going on
#4
Group B
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 14:54
I want to know where God obtained his plans for rain clouds ....
#5
ForeverF1
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 14:56
It is of course, all Peters fault, he opened the Pearly Gates.... 
#7
RoutariEnjinu
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 15:07
It was quite clear the god to blame in Malaysia was Thor, and not the Judeo-Christian god.
#8
Gilles12
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 15:10
Oh I see
Just because Christian God goes into retirement and hands over the reigns to Thor you expect us to believe that God knew absolutely nothing?
Next we'll be hearing Satan has it in for God and it's all a big witch hunt
Just because Christian God goes into retirement and hands over the reigns to Thor you expect us to believe that God knew absolutely nothing?
Next we'll be hearing Satan has it in for God and it's all a big witch hunt
#9
TickTickBooom
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 15:11
Best thread ever!
#10
ForeverF1
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 15:13
Originally posted by TickTickBooom
Best thread ever!
Can you please provide links to support this??
#11
WHITE
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 15:20
Originally posted by ForeverF1
Can you please provide links to support this??
For God sake, A divine link please :yawn:
#12
Oblivion
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 15:21
Originally posted by TickTickBooom
Best thread ever!
Seconded.
#14
ForeverF1
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 15:23
Originally posted by WHITE
A divine link perhaps :yawn:
Was he the one on the radio?? He must have known about it all.....
#15
wewantourdarbyback
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 15:23
Originally posted by TickTickBooom
Best thread ever!
I'll believe you, since I can't be bothered to check for evidence till mid way through next week.
#16
otoelpiloto
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 15:26
don't use the name of god in vain
excellent though mate
excellent though mate
#17
TickTickBooom
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 15:28
A few of my personal (un?)favourites from the front page:Originally posted by ForeverF1
Can you please provide links to support this??
http://forums.autosp...threadid=107774
http://forums.autosp...&threadid=95724
http://forums.autosp...threadid=107769
;)
#18
rookie
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 15:32
Let's hope God deosn't hire Matt Bishop for PR.
If he does we will have to go through all the usual "Bishop PR and Crisis Management"
Prepared statement outlining harshness of $100m fine
Deny the Malysian GP ever took place, Promise investigation
Refute Allegations that there is audio and visual evidence the Malaysian GP took place
Release results of Investigation including name of employee whose fault it was
Have Jesus release an ill prepared and factually incorrect statement about the incident
Deny Jesus' statement actually implicated God in 3 other wet races rather than proving his innocence
If he does we will have to go through all the usual "Bishop PR and Crisis Management"
Prepared statement outlining harshness of $100m fine
Deny the Malysian GP ever took place, Promise investigation
Refute Allegations that there is audio and visual evidence the Malaysian GP took place
Release results of Investigation including name of employee whose fault it was
Have Jesus release an ill prepared and factually incorrect statement about the incident
Deny Jesus' statement actually implicated God in 3 other wet races rather than proving his innocence
#19
RoutariEnjinu
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 15:56
Originally posted by otoelpiloto
don't use the name of god in vain
excellent though mate
Which god god-damnit?!
Be more precise for Thors sake!
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#20
Scotracer
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 15:58
The Flying Spaghetti Monster of course - do not question his authority!
Submit and allow his noodly appendage to touch you all.
RAmen
Submit and allow his noodly appendage to touch you all.
RAmen
#21
PNSD
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 16:02
Originally posted by wewantourdarbyback
I'll believe you, since I can't be bothered to check for evidence till mid way through next week.
Lol, good one
#22
VoidNT
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 18:23
Originally posted by Driver
ROOTERS - God has been fined $100M after stewards of the Malaysian Grand Prix determined he brought the sport into disrepute. At issue is the rain storm which eventually ended the race on 4 April at Sepang. After the race the stewards summoned God to appear before them and demanded an explanation for why the rain didn't come as expected but rather held off with some teasing misting of parts of the track. After the initial downpour failed to occur teams switched from full wet tires to intermediates. Only then did the full downpour occur, embarrassing the teams back onto full wets, and eventually causing a red flag and the end of the race.
An FIA spokesperson told Rooters, "Clearly God misled us with the dark clouds and caused some teams to look like fools for switching to full wets long before the rain arrived. This is unacceptable behavior from a deity and we will not allow God to make an important Formula 1 team look foolish." Clearly, the spokesperson is referring to the decision by Ferrari to switch Kimi Raikkonen to full wet tires so early that they were well worn by the time the rains came in earnest. Additionally, the spokesperson revealed that, "when God was initially interviewed, he told us he hadn't had anything to do with the rain in Sepang on race day because he had been busy responding to the many prayers coming from churches across Europe on that Sunday morning." The stewards have investigated this claim and believe God misled them after the stewards discovered evidence of multiple prayers from the paddock asking God to hold the rain and then later asking him to open the floodgates. Said the FIA spokesperson, "When this evidence came to light, we called God back in to explain his actions. He apologized to us and once he provides us with the $100M fine we have levied, we will consider the case closed." Despite these assurances, it is assumed the the World Council could decide to permanently exclude God from future races.
In related news, McLaren have been fined $100M for praying for the rain to hold off when they saw Ferrari switching to full wets.
Brilliant
#24
EthanM
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 18:52
Fake story unless you produce transcripts, audio and video from the stewards meeting.
#25
Tolyngee
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 18:55
Originally posted by Driver
because he had been busy responding to the many prayers coming from churches across Europe on that Sunday morning
Well, that was clear deceit right there...
I've been to many parts of Europe, and if there's one thing that is undeniably certain, it's that it's a Godless land...
#26
ensign14
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 19:11
I would have thought God would have been charged with impersonating Max Mosley.
#27
alfista
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 19:26
And when is the Final Judgement?
#28
ForeverF1
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 19:27
Originally posted by alfista
And when is the Final Judgement?
That will be around the time of Armageddon I guess.
#29
ensign14
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 19:49
The Final Judgment will be a drive-through penalty so you can't appeal it.
#30
undersquare
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 20:43
Originally posted by RoutariEnjinu
It was quite clear the god to blame in Malaysia was Thor, and not the Judeo-Christian god.
No no Thor is a Norse god, he would have been on Kimi's side. It wouldn't be a Roman god either. Most likely a Greek god, Zeus perhaps, God of Fasteners.
#31
w00dy
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 20:55
WTf? another crazy Hamilton-fanboy thread?
#32
red stick
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 21:00
Norse gods? In Malaysia? Surely you mean Allah!
#33
taran
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 09:11
Originally posted by rookie
Let's hope God deosn't hire Matt Bishop for PR.
I always assumed God already had bishops doing his PR? Or were those Cardinals?
#34
ForeverF1
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 09:13
Originally posted by taran
I always assumed God already had bishops doing his PR? Or were those Cardinals?
Everything points to Cardinals....;)
#35
Matt Somers
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 09:15
Can God please define if he is using slots or holes in his rain clouds...
#36
ForeverF1
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 09:18
Originally posted by Matt Somers
Can God please define if he is using slots or holes in his rain clouds...
Looking from directly below, it is not clear, but, heaven cannot be seen through them....
#37
Matt Somers
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 09:19
Originally posted by ForeverF1
Looking from directly below, it is not clear, but, heaven cannot be seen through them....
;)
#38
MWM
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 09:22
Which "god"?
Humans have had hundreds of them...interestingly (if you're a judeo-christian god kinda person) that the likes of Thor were invented (as judeo-christian god-followers evidently think) long before Jesus made us aware of his god. If someone does decide to believe in a god, which one should they choose?
Humans have had hundreds of them...interestingly (if you're a judeo-christian god kinda person) that the likes of Thor were invented (as judeo-christian god-followers evidently think) long before Jesus made us aware of his god. If someone does decide to believe in a god, which one should they choose?
#39
Matt Somers
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 09:23
Originally posted by MWM
Which "god"?
Humans have had hundreds of them...interestingly (if you're a judeo-christian god kinda person) that the likes of Thor were invented (as judeo-christian god-followers evidently think) long before Jesus made us aware of his god. If someone does decide to believe in a god, which one should they choose?
Just like the 'spirit of the rules' there is no rule book to follow.....
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#40
ForeverF1
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 09:41
Originally posted by Matt Somers
Just like the 'spirit of the rules' there is no rule book to follow.....
But Gabriele must have a view on that surely?
#41
dabrasco
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 09:48
I had to try hard to not burst out laughing at work
this thread >>>>>> 95% of threads on the first page of this board
#42
ForeverF1
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 09:54
Originally posted by dabrasco
I had to try hard to not burst out laughing at work
this thread >>>>>> 95% of threads on the first page of this board
But, was your Boss aware that you had to try hard, mmmmm
#44
Szoelloe
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 10:59
Originally posted by alfista
And when is the Final Judgement?
April 14th, Paris.
#45
WHITE
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 12:56
Originally posted by alfista
And when is the Final Judgement?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Szoelloe
April 14th, Paris.
Huhhh, isn't this only the purgatory ?
And when is the Final Judgement?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Szoelloe
April 14th, Paris.
Huhhh, isn't this only the purgatory ?
#46
Szoelloe
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 13:24
Originally posted by WHITE
Originally posted by alfista
And when is the Final Judgement?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Szoelloe
April 14th, Paris.
Huhhh, isn't this only the purgatory ?
No, that"s from the 15th
