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NEWSFLASH from the FIA!


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#1 DMsView

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Posted 14 April 2009 - 09:41

NB! Although this is my first post here, I originally put this on the BBC website where it was pulled for no reason that I could work out. Obviously, it's intended as a joke but some moderator decided it must be a serious article!

Please bear in mind that this was written the day after the Malaysian GP.


The FIA has just reported that the Malaysian Grand Prix will run to it's full race distance later on today.

Unfortunately, due to a clerical error by the FIA secretary, only the Ferrari team was informed of this decision and is the only team left at the track.

"It seemed like the only fair thing to do," said FIA president Max Mosley. "The fans deserve a full race distance and the teams all want maximum points. We're doing it for the right reasons."

Max also revealed that under FIA rules, all registered teams are required to participate In a Formula One event. Since they will not be, the punishment had to be severe so they will be excluded from this event and the previous one at Australia, giving Felipe Massa the Australian Grand Prix win with Kimi Raikonnen second.

Felipe Massa and Kimi Raikonnen are said to be overjoyed at the decision made for the fans of Formula One and have agreed that since Massa won the Australian GP, Raikonnen will win this one. Despite this news being released in an official statement, the FIA was quick to deny any possible allegations that the Ferrari team had attempted to fix the result in any way.

In a further twist, Lewis Hamilton has been informed he will automatically lose any points he may score at the Chinese Grand Prix for not being as wet as the other drivers caught in the storm at Sepang.

"Clearly Lewis wasn't trying hard enough," said Max Mosley, "otherwise he would have caught as much spray in the face as everyone else. We feel we have to act to ensure that Formula One remains as fair and balanced a sport as possible."

Updated Drivers Table:
F. Massa 18pts
Raikonnen 18pts
The Rest Nowhere

Updated Constructors Table:
Ferrari 36pts
The Rest Why Bother?

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#2 EthanM

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Posted 14 April 2009 - 09:43

So ... when you were writing this did you pat yourself on the back and offer your self congratulations for being so funny witty and sarcastic?

Newsflash: You re neither funny nor witty.

Move on.

#3 DMsView

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Posted 14 April 2009 - 09:46

Well that's a nice welcome to the AtlasF1 forum.

Perhaps I'll post again next week when the school holiday's are over. Get some grown up comments.

GONE!

#4 fed up

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Posted 14 April 2009 - 09:47

Clueless

:

#5 blackmme

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Posted 14 April 2009 - 09:51

Hey mate v funny :lol:

Welcome the this welcoming place.

Regards Mike