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Fernando Alonso thread [merged]


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#9001 Fontainebleau

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Posted 17 June 2011 - 14:27

Sorry but Forbes does not agree... ;)
http://ascology.com/...-Full-list.html

Regardless what the lists say, I think that we can all agree that any of the people on any of those lists earns significantly more than any of us posting here (please feel free to correct me if that is not true in your case). So I cannot see why should any of us feel sorry about what those lists say, I say good for them and if anything a bit envious given what I could do with the money they earn in one year!

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#9002 Skinnyguy

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Posted 17 June 2011 - 14:34

Well, if you take into account the risks that different sportsmen run in their activity when analysing their earnings, I would say that motorsport does not pay well :p


You must be kidding. Don´t see any cyclist in the list, and it´s like 200 times more dangerous. Still you have a point in some cases, let´s say Tiger Woods.

#9003 Hole

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Posted 17 June 2011 - 14:42

The F1 drivers get more money just because the F1 circus is bigger. And I'm agree it would be very funny to even imply they are being paid less than they should.

#9004 Jordana

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Posted 17 June 2011 - 15:53

You must be kidding. Don´t see any cyclist in the list, and it´s like 200 times more dangerous. Still you have a point in some cases, let´s say Tiger Woods.


It's a shame ciyclists are not better paid, I think they deserve it much more than many other sportmen but life is unfair and cruel! :rolleyes:

#9005 SCUDmissile

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Posted 17 June 2011 - 16:31

a lot of Alonsos slary come sfrom sponsors, and it is no surprise that the highest paid sportsmen have MASSIVE sponsorship contracts.

the reason cycling isnt that big, is imo there isnt as much money in it, and not as many sponsors, because of the image (roght or wrong) of the sport.

#9006 Fontainebleau

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Posted 17 June 2011 - 18:46

You must be kidding. Don´t see any cyclist in the list, and it´s like 200 times more dangerous. Still you have a point in some cases, let´s say Tiger Woods.

Of course I am, hence the :p . But the point about earnings not being related to risk is a true one, and your example of cyclism confirms it.

#9007 kosmos

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 06:40

Ferrari blog updated.

http://www.ferrari.c...alance-out.aspx

A nice interview with Stefano, he talk about many things, including Fernando.

http://www.formulasa...es/hola-paddock

I think that he is a role model, he is a great lad and we have discovered that he is a true team leader. He is always with us. We must not forget that he is relatively young and that he has many things in common with the lads (mechanics). He is very focused and understands this business very well. On the other hand, he understands the engineers and mechanics to perfection and he is the pride of Ferrari. That is something that has great value in our sport.



So here we go, another GP this week, hoping for the best and fingers crossed, it's time kick lady bad luck in the ass, and begin to win races :cat:

#9008 topical

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 06:52

Ferrari blog updated.

http://www.ferrari.c...alance-out.aspx

A nice interview with Stefano, he talk about many things, including Fernando.

http://www.formulasa...es/hola-paddock


I'm getting rather tired of the Ferrari PR machine in which everyone says how happy they are and how great everyone else is. Give us some results instead!
Roll on Valencia, a race where surely Alonso is due a bit of luck. It certainly can't get much worse than Canada.


#9009 tifosiMac

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 07:12

True. I don't think we would have seen Alonso go off in the last lap like vettel did. He is much calmer under pressure. He's always been.

Alonso did go into a corner and shared 50% of the blame with Jenson for him going out of the race I must add. Whether you are in a winning position or not it doesn't matter as the pressure is on the secure as many points as possible and Fernando crashed out of a points finishing position. Vettel was just lucky his error did not end his race. :)

#9010 e34

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 07:27

Alonso did go into a corner and shared 50% of the blame with Jenson for him going out of the race I must add. Whether you are in a winning position or not it doesn't matter as the pressure is on the secure as many points as possible and Fernando crashed out of a points finishing position. Vettel was just lucky his error did not end his race. :)


Personally, I would not go down that road, and as I have said elsewhere, I am perfectly happy with considering it a race incident. But IMO, in this case, blame cannot be 50-50. Button begun an overtaking that would have taken him nowhere, because he went faster than he should, out of the racing line, to overtake Alonso, and thus he had to brake earlier than normal, and even so, he was neither able to finish the overtaking nor to carry his car as he should. Alonso, on the other hand, kept the racing line, was able to brake later, took his car where he wanted, and left enough space for a car (as proven by the Mercedes which was in front of him). As it happened, Button's car slided a bit, and Alonso was unfortunate in landing over the kerb.

Racing incident, yes, but 50-50 blame, not, IMO. And even less, something that can be pinned on Alonso as poor racecraft or choking under pressure.

#9011 tifosiMac

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 07:40

Personally, I would not go down that road, and as I have said elsewhere, I am perfectly happy with considering it a race incident. But IMO, in this case, blame cannot be 50-50. Button begun an overtaking that would have taken him nowhere, because he went faster than he should, out of the racing line, to overtake Alonso, and thus he had to brake earlier than normal, and even so, he was neither able to finish the overtaking nor to carry his car as he should. Alonso, on the other hand, kept the racing line, was able to brake later, took his car where he wanted, and left enough space for a car (as proven by the Mercedes which was in front of him). As it happened, Button's car slided a bit, and Alonso was unfortunate in landing over the kerb.

Racing incident, yes, but 50-50 blame, not, IMO. And even less, something that can be pinned on Alonso as poor racecraft or choking under pressure.

I'm happy to agree to disagree on that.. :)


#9012 as65p

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 07:48

Alonso did go into a corner and shared 50% of the blame with Jenson for him going out of the race I must add. Whether you are in a winning position or not it doesn't matter as the pressure is on the secure as many points as possible and Fernando crashed out of a points finishing position. Vettel was just lucky his error did not end his race. :)


Alonso crashed out, eh? :lol:

I bet you love the sound of that, giving the impression of an unforced driving error. Who cares that the phrasing doesn't remotely describe what happened, or that it's not remotely comparable to Vettels mistake... :drunk:

#9013 tifosiMac

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 07:50

Alonso crashed out, eh? :lol:

I bet you love the sound of that, giving the impression of an unforced driving error. Who cares that the phrasing doesn't remotely describe what happened, or that it's not remotely comparable to Vettels mistake... :drunk:

You can put your fishing rod away.  ;)

#9014 prty

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 08:01

Alonso did go into a corner and shared 50% of the blame with Jenson for him going out of the race I must add. Whether you are in a winning position or not it doesn't matter as the pressure is on the secure as many points as possible and Fernando crashed out of a points finishing position. Vettel was just lucky his error did not end his race. :)


:lol:

#9015 tifosiMac

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 08:02

:lol:

:up: :lol:

#9016 as65p

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 08:07

You can put your fishing rod away. ;)


Sorry that too makes as much sense to me as the "crashing out" phrase. Might well be my fault, if you want me to understand please use analogies from other activities than fishing, I haven't the slightest clue about that stuff. :wave:

#9017 tifosiMac

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 08:19

Sorry that too makes as much sense to me as the "crashing out" phrase. Might well be my fault, if you want me to understand please use analogies from other activities than fishing, I haven't the slightest clue about that stuff. :wave:

I think you are well aware of the meaning surrounding that phrase but are choosing to act thick. If you want me to spell it out for you I think you do not agree with my original statement and instead of debating with your own opinion you chose to mock me instead and began 'fishing/baiting' for responses. I'm entitled to my opinion as you are to yours but I do not aim to patronize those I am discussing with. You can take your ( :wave: ) and find someone else to wind up thank you very much.

#9018 as65p

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 08:43

I think you are well aware of the meaning surrounding that phrase but are choosing to act thick. If you want me to spell it out for you I think you do not agree with my original statement and instead of debating with your own opinion you chose to mock me instead and began 'fishing/baiting' for responses. I'm entitled to my opinion as you are to yours but I do not aim to patronize those I am discussing with. You can take your ( :wave: ) and find someone else to wind up thank you very much.


If you can't live with reading my response to your posts, report me or use ignore. I certainly won't stop replying if I feel like it and how I judge it appropriate, the rest I (have to) leave to the mods, just like all of us.

PS: :wave:

#9019 Kohque

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 08:52

Personally, I would not go down that road, and as I have said elsewhere, I am perfectly happy with considering it a race incident. But IMO, in this case, blame cannot be 50-50. Button begun an overtaking that would have taken him nowhere, because he went faster than he should, out of the racing line, to overtake Alonso, and thus he had to brake earlier than normal, and even so, he was neither able to finish the overtaking nor to carry his car as he should. Alonso, on the other hand, kept the racing line, was able to brake later, took his car where he wanted, and left enough space for a car (as proven by the Mercedes which was in front of him). As it happened, Button's car slided a bit, and Alonso was unfortunate in landing over the kerb.

Racing incident, yes, but 50-50 blame, not, IMO. And even less, something that can be pinned on Alonso as poor racecraft or choking under pressure.

Agree :up:

But I am afraid that with the inconsistency the stewards showed in the same race between Alonso-Button and Di Resta-Heidfield, that racing incident is not going to stay as such in future races.

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#9020 tifosiMac

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 08:57

Agree :up:

But I am afraid that with the inconsistency the stewards showed in the same race between Alonso-Button and Di Resta-Heidfield, that racing incident is not going to stay as such in future races.

Indeed, racing incidents are becoming rare as just about everything is being investigated in order to mix up the pack. Cars only have to touch and someone has to be found at fault. I suppose it makes a change from the old days where certain teams escaped punishment regularly and different punishments were handed out for identical incidents etc etc. Still the stewarding needs to be more consistent and I expect precedent's to be set as the season progresses.

#9021 Kohque

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 09:17

Indeed, racing incidents are becoming rare as just about everything is being investigated in order to mix up the pack. Cars only have to touch and someone has to be found at fault. I suppose it makes a change from the old days where certain teams escaped punishment regularly and different punishments were handed out for identical incidents etc etc. Still the stewarding needs to be more consistent and I expect precedent's to be set as the season progresses.

Hope so, I think to hand a penalty because is falls within "an avoidable accident" is almost funny considering they are racing. As long as the overtaking move is well timed and there is nothing reckless or clumsy about it, I am happy with racing incident.

The most stupid I remember (maybe because they gave it to Alonso) was the "air flow disturbance" that Alonso supposedly created with his car to impede Massa during qualifying. :lol: ... I think these dudes smoke during working hours :smoking:

EDIT: Avoidable accident... hell... I better stop smoking too.

Edited by Kohque, 21 June 2011 - 09:53.


#9022 tifosiMac

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 09:27

The most stupid I remember (maybe because they gave it to Alonso) was the "air flow disturbance" that Alonso supposedly created with his car to impede Massa during qualifying. :lol: ... I think these dudes smoke during working hours :smoking:

That was absolutely ridiculous at the time, but it was during the days when Ferrari and the FIA were close allies which is no longer the case. I was a big fan of Alonso then and I remember feeling pretty hard done by. His comments about F1 not being a sport anymore were great as it showed a driver in the heat of the moment and is something which is rare these days apart from Hamilton a few weeks back. There have certainly been some odd/inconsistent decisions over the years but I though 2010 was the most impartial I can remember. I hope we are not slipping back into a rut where certain drivers are picked on more than others and stewards take no notice of punishments handed out previously for similar infringements. :)

#9023 Kohque

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 09:54

That was absolutely ridiculous at the time, but it was during the days when Ferrari and the FIA were close allies which is no longer the case. I was a big fan of Alonso then and I remember feeling pretty hard done by. His comments about F1 not being a sport anymore were great as it showed a driver in the heat of the moment and is something which is rare these days apart from Hamilton a few weeks back. There have certainly been some odd/inconsistent decisions over the years but I though 2010 was the most impartial I can remember. I hope we are not slipping back into a rut where certain drivers are picked on more than others and stewards take no notice of punishments handed out previously for similar infringements. :)

:up:

#9024 YellowHelmet

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 10:09

That was absolutely ridiculous at the time, but it was during the days when Ferrari and the FIA were close allies which is no longer the case. I was a big fan of Alonso then and I remember feeling pretty hard done by. His comments about F1 not being a sport anymore were great as it showed a driver in the heat of the moment and is something which is rare these days apart from Hamilton a few weeks back. There have certainly been some odd/inconsistent decisions over the years but I though 2010 was the most impartial I can remember. I hope we are not slipping back into a rut where certain drivers are picked on more than others and stewards take no notice of punishments handed out previously for similar infringements. :)

How could you even compare those two situations?
ridiculous :down:

in monza 2006, alonso was penalised for nothing, he was over a second in front of massa and was penalised unfairly.
so his critic was rational.
in valencia 2010, alonso reacted similarly after he was screwed by the fia, and finally lost their the championship, not because of his mistake but of a mistake by the fia.
so his critic was again rational.


hamilton kicked out two drivers in monaco and criticised the stewards -> irrational and disgusting.

you cannot compare justified critics with unjustified cirtics :down:


about one point you were right, to be an alonso fan, you are wrong again for just being it in the past  ;)

#9025 e34

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 10:21

That was absolutely ridiculous at the time, but it was during the days when Ferrari and the FIA were close allies which is no longer the case. I was a big fan of Alonso then and I remember feeling pretty hard done by. His comments about F1 not being a sport anymore were great as it showed a driver in the heat of the moment and is something which is rare these days apart from Hamilton a few weeks back. There have certainly been some odd/inconsistent decisions over the years but I though 2010 was the most impartial I can remember. I hope we are not slipping back into a rut where certain drivers are picked on more than others and stewards take no notice of punishments handed out previously for similar infringements. :)


Last year Hamilton got scott-free several times; he was reprimanded twice, if I am not mistaken, for racing in the pitlane, he skipped the pitlane entry in China and entered pits crosscountry style, after an almost U turn, then he got that most strange penalty for overtaking the SC, which led to a change in the SC regulation this year (all those explanations about the first SC line and being able to overtake the SC before it crossed the line, and the need to check GPS data to be sure of whether Hamilton had broken the rules were bullshit, because there was nothing in the Regulations that contemplated such possibilities), he was also the last (and only) driver to be allowed to get back to pits without enough fuel in the car after qualy.

The impression that last year was impartial or less conflictive than this year has a lot to do, IMO, with the fact that the most vocal Hamilton fans did not have a reason to complain, because every controversy in which he was involved was resolved in a favourable way for him. In contrast, stewarding this year seems fair in Spain, and last year it seemed very Hamilton biased. Alonso received several penalties that were not outrageus per se, but that benchmarked with the number of incidents he was involved in, and compared with Hamilton situation, were perceived as out of proportion.

The problem with Hamilton, IMO, is that he is involved in more incidents than any other driver. He drives on the edge of the regulations, and thus he has to be frequently picked, or unpicked, by stewards.



#9026 Buttoneer

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 10:42

Posts deleted.

This thread is not about kimi.

Additionally, there is an "ultimate" Hamilton v Alonso thread and any further discussion on 2007 and its fallout should be taken there, please. There is also a thread about the Canada crash with Button.

#9027 Skinnyguy

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 10:43

in valencia 2010, alonso reacted similarly after he was screwed by the fia, and finally lost their the championship, not because of his mistake but of a mistake by the fia.
so his critic was again rational.


That´s a quite popular story in Spain :lol: :lol:

But I must remind you that Alonso didn´t lose a single point because of stewarding that day. Hamilton got extra points for not being punished on time, Alonso didn´t lose anything. SC deployment screwed him, shit happens, but he wasn´t involved in any kind of investigation, and he didn´t lose anything because of FIA that time. So the 4th (or did he win 5 of those??) "moral championship" will have to wait I´m afraid.

#9028 YellowHelmet

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 16:22

That´s a quite popular story in Spain :lol: :lol:

Dont know, i am not from spain.
About the rest.
The safety car came out at the wrong time (that means after vettel passed) and holded alonso for about 30 sec. behind him (no reason for that, coz he was not the leader), where he lost all his chances to finish at the place where he was before safety car.

Before Safety-Car
Vettel p1
Hamilton p2
Alonso p3

After Safety-Car
Vettel p1
Hamilton p2
Alonso p9 (for doing nothing wrong)

Edited by YellowHelmet, 21 June 2011 - 16:24.


#9029 Lazy Prodigy

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 16:26

I like Alonso's new hat. Reminds me of...

#9030 artista

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 16:37

I like Alonso's new hat. Reminds me of...

And the new sunglasses too :lol: But shh! don't tell ;)

Edited by artista, 21 June 2011 - 16:38.


#9031 SCUDmissile

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 16:38

I like Alonso's new hat. Reminds me of...

50 cent? :p

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#9032 tifosiMac

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 17:46

I like Alonso's new hat. Reminds me of...

*Looks at your avatar*.. :lol:

I'm glad he's attempting to fill the shoes in other ways considering he's yet to win them the ultimate prize.. :)

#9033 Lazy Prodigy

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 18:23

50 cent? :p

Posted Image

:up: Thats the funniest thing I have seen on here for a few months. Nice. Hopefully some better luck for Alonso this weekend but Redbull will be tough as always

#9034 Kohque

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 18:34

:up: Thats the funniest thing I have seen on here for a few months. Nice. Hopefully some better luck for Alonso this weekend but Redbull will be tough as always

The change of engine mapping between qualifying and race has been banned, so it think this time the practice sessions should give a more accurate idea of their relative strength. I am expecting Alonso to be quite close or even on top of the Red Bull. The difference in Canada was very slight during qualifying. Without changes in the engine mapping, Ferrari should be able to qualify better than Red Bull here.

#9035 SCUDmissile

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 19:13

Ferrari seem optimistic, and in Silverstone, there is an 'extensive upgrade'

could be a turn-around in fortunes? i for one IN NO CIRCUMSTANCES want to give up the winning streak since 1994. that is 17 years.

we can at least look forward to that i think.

#9036 Skinnyguy

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 21:42

Dont know, i am not from spain.


I know, cos I am.

Alonso p9 (for doing nothing wrong)


Yeah, that´s how SC plays sometimes. No need for conspiracies or mistakes for that to happen. It´s called SAFETY car for a reason, and when a car goes skywards the only right time to deploy it is ASAP. You don´t seem to realise that what should have happened without anyone breaking the rules is Hamilton P8, Alonso P9 and not Hamilton P2, Alonso P3. But hey, if you want to hold tight to another moral championship with cool stories, go ahead.

Edited by Skinnyguy, 21 June 2011 - 21:57.


#9037 RockyRaccoon68

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 22:06

No the big mess was releasing the SC so that it picked up Hamilton and Alonso but not Vettel, the SC should have waved those two past and they should have been able to drive at the delta times like Vettel was doing rather than being stuck behind the SC while the rest of the field was driving to the delta times. That is what I personally have big beef about rather than Hamilton overtaking the SC, although I do think it is rather unfair that he came out better off after breaking the rules and surely anyone who takes a neutral perspective can see the injustice in that?

#9038 Fontainebleau

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 22:13

*Looks at your avatar*.. :lol:

I'm glad he's attempting to fill the shoes in other ways considering he's yet to win them the ultimate prize.. :)

And even without that prize Ferrari seems delighted with him, just imagine when he wins it... (yes, when and not if :p )

#9039 halifaxf1fan

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 23:37

Alonso crashed out, eh? :lol:

I bet you love the sound of that, giving the impression of an unforced driving error. Who cares that the phrasing doesn't remotely describe what happened, or that it's not remotely comparable to Vettels mistake... :drunk:



Alonso 'was crashed out' is probably a more accurate description. The McLaren team tactic of less than clean driving may be the biggest challenge for the stewards as this season unfolds.

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#9040 engel

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 23:46

No the big mess was releasing the SC so that it picked up Hamilton and Alonso but not Vettel, the SC should have waved those two past and they should have been able to drive at the delta times like Vettel was doing rather than being stuck behind the SC while the rest of the field was driving to the delta times. That is what I personally have big beef about rather than Hamilton overtaking the SC, although I do think it is rather unfair that he came out better off after breaking the rules and surely anyone who takes a neutral perspective can see the injustice in that?


Quite wrong, ahead of the SC was the Medical Car. It would be downright criminal to release F1 cars and have them overtake the Medical car, that in theory was ontrack to attend to a driver that could be injured. It's just luck of the draw, same as every single safety in the history of the sport

#9041 RockyRaccoon68

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 00:18

No the Medical Car was behind Alonso and Massa, they were sandwiched between the SC and the Medical car. If it was safe for Vettel so go at delta speeds a few seconds up the road then it was safe for Alonso, plus the SC did eventually release him so clearly it was safe to go at the same speed as Vettel they just took ages to let him past.

#9042 Lazy Prodigy

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 02:03

The change of engine mapping between qualifying and race has been banned, so it think this time the practice sessions should give a more accurate idea of their relative strength. I am expecting Alonso to be quite close or even on top of the Red Bull. The difference in Canada was very slight during qualifying. Without changes in the engine mapping, Ferrari should be able to qualify better than Red Bull here.

While being optimistic is good you got to remember being faster than redbull is one thing, faster than vettel is another.

#9043 Kohque

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 03:39

While being optimistic is good you got to remember being faster than redbull is one thing, faster than vettel is another.

There is a perception that Alonso is not as fast as Vettel or Hamilton, which I think it is a bit unfounded. Since fuel was taken out of the equation, he has been consistently faster than Massa during qualifying, who is not a slug. Of the three drivers, he has been the most consistent over these two years beating his team mate in qualifying. If the on-lap comparison in Canada showed something, it is that Alonso and Vettel are qualifying clones (at least in this track). The difference came down to a single fast corner, where Alonso slows down and Vettel, glued to the road, gets an slight advantage. That crucial advantage is gone in Valencia, and that's why I think in Valencia the Ferraris could be on top of the RBR.

#9044 DILLIGAF

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 03:41

From Formula 1 fantasy interview with Mark Webber:

Q: If you were a team boss, which current driver would you pick first for your team?

MW
: Fernando (Alonso). He is incredibly complete. He has experience and he is fast.


Webber always gives a good interview imo: http://www.formula1....11/6/12195.html

#9045 kosmos

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 04:10

Funny face to face between Andrea and Fernando at the end of the video.

http://www.youtube.c...player_embedded :rotfl:

#9046 Kohque

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 05:04

Funny face to face between Andrea and Fernando at the end of the video.

http://www.youtube.c...player_embedded :rotfl:

:lol: Thanks for the link!

Tombazis also sounds optimistic about Valencia :clap:



#9047 ArtShelley

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 07:07

Alonso did not mess up in the last race. The strategy did.

Alonso was not disqualified. He was taken out of the race by another car.

Dude, what kind of thick lens people wear when they watch the races? :lol:


You really believe that Alonso wasn't at fault in the incident with Jenson in Canada?

I'll bring up the footage when I get home, but as I posted in another thread, it's blatantly clear that Jenson was right up alongside Alonso going into the first part of the chicane. Alonso tried to take the corner back by TRYING to outbrake Jenson into the entry, but he didn't even come close to succeeding. Without getting far enough ahead, he simply turned across Jenson's front wheels. Jenson had nowhere to go, he was already parked right up on the kerbs on the apex of the corner.

100% Alonso's fault.

#9048 puxanando

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 07:12

Posted Image

who is nicer?
Alonso "me"
Andrea:"me"

:cat:

#9049 AlanWake

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 07:55

Funny face to face between Andrea and Fernando at the end of the video.

http://www.youtube.c...player_embedded :rotfl:


Great video! :lol:

#9050 tifosiMac

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 08:19

Alonso 'was crashed out' is probably a more accurate description. The McLaren team tactic of less than clean driving may be the biggest challenge for the stewards as this season unfolds.

If only we could hear the McLaren engineers on the radio to Jenson before that incident.. "Come on Jenson push him off the track!!" :lol:

I'd love to be a fly on the wall in the driver briefings when they teach Lewis and Jenson to be 'less than clean' on the track. I wonder if its a powerpoint presentation or something like that? Of course this could all be fantasy or twisted paranoia, but part of me would like to think it actually happens.