Wow. I can't believe you haven't seen it yet. Nobody else here seems to understand that it's all been a well-developed conspiracy by the FIA, McLaren, and Force India to make Hamilton look bad on the day that Button wins his 200th GP. How is this, you ask? Allow me to go into detail.
After the 1999 F1 season, McLaren tested a young driver by the name of Jenson Button. The day he tested with McLaren, then-managing director Martin Whitmarsh sat him down for a talk. Nobody, apart from Jenson, Martin, and myself knows about this conversation (how I came about this data is classified). That very day, Whitmarsh was taken with Jenson's talent, ability, and hype, and signed a contract with the young lad which would guarantee his future superstardom at the forefront of the McLaren racing empire. According to Whitmarsh, Button had such talent that "it was almost like he could use the Force".
Though Whitmarsh had initially lobbied for Jenson to earn a race seat at McLaren alongside Mika Hakkinen, McLaren driver Coulthard vetoed the move, claiming that "next year will be my year". Thus, a crestfallen Whitmarsh was forced to wait to get his young star into a seat with the team. Whitmarsh was downcast, but didn't fall prey to the fits of stupidity that seem to come to some people who become downcast, and duly decided it would be appropriate for Jenson to earn racing experience in Formula One before his time at McLaren came.
Button signed with Williams for 2000. When he crashed his car in practice and qualified dead-last for the first race, Whitmarsh was reportedly seen running aimlessly throughout the paddock, incongruously yelling at inanimate objects. Button then did something that saved Whitmarsh from relegation to a psychiatric ward by performing strongly in the race, running as high as sixth from his lowly grid spot when his engine failed. Button's deed strengthened the relationship between the two. It was then that they hatched a plan: "Whatever happens, you'll be at McLaren for your 200th Formula One race--and you're going to win it."
The years went on. Contract complications prevented Button from driving for McLaren until 2007, when, after his first win in Hungary the previous year, it looked certain that Button would be racing for McLaren, replacing Kimi Raikkonen as its number-one driver alongside Fernando Alonso. Speculation about this was rife throughout the paddock, and only through extensive cover-up operations was this knowledge able to be kept secret. Numerous drivers also gave comments on the matter--Michael Schumacher once said, "He's a quality driver, very strong and only . If he keeps this up I'm sure he will reach [McLaren]. It's something special to see a kid of his age out on the circuit. He's clearly got the right racing mentality." When asked about the rumours, Kimi Raikkonen claimed that he hadn’t heard about them. When asked why, he replied “I was having a #$&@.” The context of both of these quotes has since been changed to help keep the conspiracy a secret.
However, Ron Dennis interfered--behind Whitmarsh's back, Dennis secretly signed favourite-son Lewis Hamilton for a race seat in 2007. Whitmarsh was not seen for two weeks after this news was heard, and his position within the McLaren organisation was assumed by a carefully-selected surrogate (yours truly) until he returned from Falkland Islands. The nature of Whitmarsh's activities there are classified.
There was conflict within McLaren all throughout 2007--between Hamilton and Alonso, Alonso and Dennis, and Dennis and Whitmarsh. All of McLaren's public comments were carefully monitored by an FIA-appointed press officer (guess who?), in the interest of making certain that the team's internal struggles were not broadcast throughout the universe. By the end of 2007, when it looked almost certain that Lewis Hamilton would lay claim to the world title, Whitmarsh angrily contacted the FIA, contesting that he had information which would conclusively prove that Lewis’s contract with McLaren was invalid. Whitmarsh, seeking advice on how to handle such a situation from Alonso, subsequently blackmailed Hamilton and Dennis with legal action should Lewis win the world title. So it was proposed, through a clever engine-mapping hack developed using stolen Ferrari technology (the means through which Ferrari and subsequently McLaren obtained this hack are classified, though I can say that Ferrari has possessed such technology since 1996), that Hamilton would suffer a temporary gearbox “glitch” during that year’s finale, which would completely end his title dreams. Dennis was devastated, as was Lewis. They had no recourse against Whitmarsh.
After Fernando left the team, Whitmarsh campaigned to replace him with Button. Taking advantage of Button’s current legal situation with Honda, Dennis rushed to sign Kovalainen (this time by legal means) for two years. Whitmarsh’s attempts to hoist Button up to McLaren would irrevocably be put on hold for that amount of time. Motivated by revenge, Whitmarsh secretly became involved in an over-elaborate series of backroom deals with FIA officials, the goal of which was to prevent Lewis from winning a championship before Button came to McLaren. When Lewis won anyway in spite of heavily-biased stewarding, a violent battle occurred between Whitmarsh and Dennis, in which each attempted to kill the other through increasingly unorthodox means. Dennis was forced to retire from the company the following year as a result of this fight, after sustaining extensive injuries reportedly caused by a direct hit from a rocket launcher (provided to Whitmarsh by...). Damage to the McLaren factory caused during this fight prevented the team from completing its 2009 challenger on time, and subsequently forced the team to take a performance hit throughout the season, effectively scrapping Lewis’s title hopes for that year. Dennis’s position within the company was assumed by a carefully-selected surrogate until recently (you should know who I’m talking about by now).
In 2010, with nothing left to stop him, Whitmarsh brought Jenson Button to McLaren. At first, it looked like Button would be able to hold his own against Hamilton, but it soon became apparent that there was a threat of Hamilton eclipsing Button as Britain’s star Formula One racer. As a result, Whitmarsh and Button began to combine their efforts in an attempt to bring down Hamilton. Subtle strategy errors and rookie-like driving mistakes became a hallmark of the McLaren/Hamilton combination. The team, as well as Lewis, put these incidents down to bad luck, but only Whitmarsh and Button knew what was really going on.
Well, eventually, we got to Hungary 2011, and everything blew up big time. It was Jenson’s 200th race--the victory Whitmarsh had promised Button. For more than a decade, Button and Whitmarsh had been waiting for this day. To make the symmetry perfect for his star driver, Whitmarsh had campaigned for the FIA to amend the 2011 calendar so that Jenson’s 200th start would take place at the same track at which he had claimed his first victory. The FIA declined, and Whitmarsh was furious--Hungary would be Jenson’s 201st start. However, as you might now know, it is a trademark of Whitmarsh’s to become smarter when he is depressed. He wasn’t without a plan. In order to make Hungary Jenson’s 200th race, he would only need to get one race removed from the calendar. Taking advantage of the recent political unrest in the Middle East, Whitmarsh then ordered several McLaren-funded insurgents to begin stirring up trouble in Bahrain, the site of the first race in 2011, with the intent of getting the race canceled. The McLaren-backed, militant peace activists warned that there would be bloodshed at the race should it take place. The FIA was left with no choice but to cancel the race.
Whitmarsh then took a number of other actions to ensure Jenson would win. With the help of Jenson’s uncanny cerebral driving abilities and funding from the US government (check the stimulus bill--it’s in there somewhere), the two worked on a machine that would influence real live climate change when used correctly. They were successfully able to alter the weather patterns before the race, so it would take place in damp but drying conditions--conditions that Jenson excelled at. As the race wore on, it became apparent that Hamilton was a serious threat to Button’s victory. Then, something incredible happened.
Whitmarsh, who was normally required to approve of all strategy calls made by Lewis Hamilton and his race engineer, was at the loo when it came time for Hamilton to make a decision on his next tyre call. Hamilton was about to make the switch to the soft tyres, off of the supersofts, a switch that would undoubtedly hand him the race victory. Without Whitmarsh to stop him, Hamilton would be free to ruin the celebration Whitmarsh and Button had been planning for over a decade. However, Button was not about to allow it to happen. Harkening back to Whitmarsh’s initial suspicions over the source of Button’s true talent, Button ended all speculation over the nature of his abilities when he performed a Jedi Mind Trick on Hamilton’s race engineer when passing by the pit wall. Regarding the softs, Button allegedly said, “Those aren’t the tyres you’re looking for.”
With Hamilton on a dubious strategy, directly influenced by Button himself, Jenson was able to go on to win the race without hassle. Hamilton, baffled by the bogus strategy decision, subsequently descended into the red mist that many identify as being “a racer’s passion”. Despite his best efforts, Lewis was not able to overcome the drive-through penalty he received, and his engineers, still suffering from the effects of the Jedi Mind Trick placed upon them by the unrelenting Button, made the decision to briefly put him on inters when made to believe it was going to rain again. It was a catalogue of errors for Hamilton that day--and let me tell you, I was pretty busy editing his comments to the press afterwards.
So there you have it: the full story, straight from the horse’s mouth. In conclusion, Jenson is to blame for everything that happens to Lewis. It really has been a conspiracy organised by Button, Whitmarsh, and myself to shaft Hamilton all this time. There’s so much more I could tell you about the inner-workings of F1 (specifically, Hockenheim 2010, Singapore 2008, and Jerez 1997), but sadly, I don’t really have the time.
(DISCLAIMER: This post was made with the intention of lightening the thread up a bit--if it is viewed as off-topic or leads to off-topic discussion, then you have my sincerest apologies. If you're going to quote the post, don't do so with the intention of starting off-topic discussion, and please do everyone the favour of removing the majority of its subject matter so we don't have to stare at it several thousand times. All of the views and events expressed in this post are a fabrication of the user, and don't do a very good job of expressing the user's views--to be frank, they're an absolute load of trash. If some of these views end up offending you anyway, then all I can really say is 'get a sense of humour'. )
(Edited to change "Regarding the supersofts" to "Regarding the softs", as it should correctly read, lol.)