33 replies to this topic

[Bauble]

Following the farcial farrago of cocnuts, Bentleys, and dogsbody calumnies, I offer for the edification of the more sophisticated members of this elegant forum, a more appealing caption competition.

I can assure all potential participants that there will be valuable prize on offer to the winning entry, one both useful and of dimensions allowing for postal delivery (within reason) to most regions of the world.

All you have to do is imagine what the two famous characters depicted may be saying to each other.



To avoid the sort of controversy seen in the last endeavour on this site, and to ensure that there can be no suspicion of bias or favouritism, I invite Dogearred to be the judge. This ploy has several advantages; 1) Any fall out from thwarted entrants falls on Doggy. 2) Being the judge precludes him from entering himself. 3) I can offer him a coconut as due reward for his duties as presiding officer.

I rely entirely on the good taste and decorum of entrants to avoid any unseamly content in entries.

Good luck to you all.

bauble.

[DogEarred]

Following the farcial farrago of cocnuts, Bentleys, and dogsbody calumnies, I offer for the edification of the more sophisticated members of this elegant forum, a more appealing caption competition.

I can assure all potential participants that there will be valuable prize on offer to the winning entry, one both useful and of dimensions allowing for postal delivery (within reason) to most regions of the world.

All you have to do is imagine what the two famous characters depicted may be saying to each other.



To avoid the sort of controversy seen in the last endeavour on this site, and to ensure that there can be no suspicion of bias or favouritism, I invite Dogearred to be the judge. This ploy has several advantages; 1) Any fall out from thwarted entrants falls on Doggy. 2) Being the judge precludes him from entering himself. 3) I can offer him a coconut as due reward for his duties as presiding officer.

I rely entirely on the good taste and decorum of entrants to avoid any unseamly content in entries.

Good luck to you all.

bauble.

Bauble!

I accept with alacrity!

I haven't felt as honoured since I was invited on to The Privy Council. (To be strictly honest, that's the privvy in my back yard..)

That's a magnificent photo and I obviously recognize one of the characters there. - renowned for being a bit of a genius, a legend in his own sphere, a great team leader, immensly talented, widely respected and with rather 'old English' handsome features and a multi-millionaire to boot.

But who is the one in red?....

I'll have my people send you a draft contract about payment of the Coconut.

[DogEarred]

Iknow it's not elligible but:-


"Get out of my way, Sonny and take your big red transporter with you..."

"Got any coconuts in the back of your van, mate?"

Edited by DogEarred, 22 June 2011 - 14:34.

[garyfrogeye]

"What's happend to your results this season?"

"EEEERrrrrrr"

[Davidson10]

"I like to maintain certain standards and I draw the line at being asked fatuous questions by a nonentity. End of interview."

(PS I think I was introduced to the interviewer earlier this year. I think his shoulders are broad enough to carry off a little bit of personal abuse)

[f1steveuk]

"Don't look now, but you see the guy coming out of the motorhome? He's out at the end of the year!"

[cheapracer]

Brawn; "Gee we miss Murray, he was the only one worth talking too....."

[Eric Dunsdon]

Following the farcial farrago of cocnuts, Bentleys, and dogsbody calumnies, I offer for the edification of the more sophisticated members of this elegant forum, a more appealing caption competition.

I can assure all potential participants that there will be valuable prize on offer to the winning entry, one both useful and of dimensions allowing for postal delivery (within reason) to most regions of the world.

All you have to do is imagine what the two famous characters depicted may be saying to each other.



To avoid the sort of controversy seen in the last endeavour on this site, and to ensure that there can be no suspicion of bias or favouritism, I invite Dogearred to be the judge. This ploy has several advantages; 1) Any fall out from thwarted entrants falls on Doggy. 2) Being the judge precludes him from entering himself. 3) I can offer him a coconut as due reward for his duties as presiding officer.

I rely entirely on the good taste and decorum of entrants to avoid any unseamly content in entries.

Good luck to you all.

bauble.

Why do you keep calling me Ron?.

[Bauble]

Bauble!

I accept with alacrity!

Dear Dogearred,
Many thanks for agreeing to undertake the onerous task of adjudging a winner of this Superior Caption Competition. I expect, that given the certainty of numerous and erudite entries, you will have a hard task on your hands, but I have complete confidence in your ability to deliver a fair and just desicion despite the very real danger from disaffected losers.

The quality of the submissions will be of the highest possible standard, given the number of TNFers with high IQ's who will flock to their keyboards in droves, all anxious to be part of this great leap forward in competetive caption writing.

You will undoubtedly become a legend in legendary circles, spoken of with awe by lesser mortals for many years to come.

When the task seems too great, and the burden of responsibilty lies heavy upon your shoulders, remember!

I am counting on you.

Courage Mon Ami.

Le Bauble.

Edited by Bauble, 22 June 2011 - 20:18.

[Geoff E]

It's rare to see brawn and brain in such close proximity, isn't it?

[Tim Murray]

'Me! Run my own team?! I should coco!'

[Bloggsworth]

No no - It was absolutely the right decision to let Button go and employ a pensioner in his place...

[Sharman]

Well I've conned this little oriental fella into......

[jj2728]

Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

[GMACKIE]

Oh, I think it's worth all the effort.......after all, if we win, there's that coconut to think of!

[Phil Rainford]

No it is not just the car.........Michael would win races in any car you put him in !!


PAR

[Bauble]

It's rare to see brawn and brain in such close proximity, isn't it?

Flattery would normally get you everywhere, that is why I passed the harsh decisions over to Doggy.

But I like it

[DogEarred]

Flattery would normally get you everywhere, that is why I passed the harsh decisions over to Doggy.

But I like it

Good morning Bauble,

What a night I've just had! After several cups of coconut milk & staying up until nearly 8.30, I managed to read the Ladybird book of 'How to be a High Court Judge'.
I learned that I have to be wise, impartial, understanding, strict, analytical & balanced. Rest assured! - I shall be looking up those words in a dictionary in the coming weeks...

I'm so looking forward to donning the fancy dress, wig, whip & tights. (Lucky I already have them in my wardrobe...)

The most exciting thing is of course - I can hand out DEATH sentances!

Anybody you've got your eye on?.... And what method to chose? Hanging? Electric chair? Firing squad? or boring 'em to death with Nigell Mansell interviews?...

Rest assured of my best efforts, Sir!

Yours corruptly

M'Lud

P.S. Under the terms of your ASBO, are you sure you're allowed to venture as far as Silverstone this weekend? Your electronic tag could give you away, you know.

[Bauble]

Dear Lord Dogearred,
Congratulations on your new status, I have long felt that what the British Justice system lacked was a 'hanging judge'! Whether we will need the ultimate sanction in the course of this particular venture I would not like to predict, however, there are certainly a few somewhat dubious entries to-date, so we must keep an open mind.

While, obviously, your TNF image must remain whiter than white, what you do in the privacy of your own wardrobe is of no concern to members here, although any pictorial images that you care to post will, I am sure, attract a great deal of interest, although they should not appear on this particular thread. We woud not wish to distract entrants with salacious pictures! Let's face it the subject of this competition is sleazy enough on it's own.

I see that one particular contributor has raised the subject of the prize, seeming to believe that it will be a coconut (G-whiz or some such name), I feel, therefore that it is incumbent on me to clarify the situation.
At this point in time the actual prize has not been chosen, it is my intention to match the quality of the reward with the quality of the captions submitted. Based on the entries so far I am only sorry that our local Woolworths store has closed down and that Poundstretchers is a strech too far for a man of my age, amd physical condition.

It may be that the eventual winner, as chosen by your good self, will recieve a signed copy of the photo itself, or some other valuable item, however, I can assure all the runners that there is an actual prize available to the 'Chosen One'.

Unfortunately my own favourite entry so far is based on an 'in-joke', so unlikely to appeal to the masses.

By the way, you have no need to worry about ASBO's I managed to persuade the authorities that an electronic tag would interfere with my pacemaker, so have escaped the constant surveillance of the Bedfordshire Scuffers.

In closing I only hope that the attraction of a major prize will tempt a few more people to chance their luck. "IT COULD BE YOU

BAUBLE. CEO CAPTION COMPETIONS INC.

[elansprint72]

"I see that your Mum sews your name onto all your shirts, does she make you wear your gloves on a string through your sleeves too"?

[Giraffe]

"Your verse Ross......."


By giraffe138 at 2011-06-23

"Brawn free, free as the wind blows......"

Edited by Giraffe, 23 June 2011 - 15:15.

[DogEarred]

"Your verse Ross......."


By giraffe138 at 2011-06-23

"Brawn free, free as the wind blows......"

Definately NOT a death sentence for that one. In any case, with a neck like yours, we wouldn't know which end to put the noose...

[Giraffe]

Definately NOT a death sentence for that one. ...

Ok, how about....


By giraffe138 at 2011-06-23

"Schumi the way to go home....."

[Bauble]

"I like to maintain certain standards and I draw the line at being asked fatuous questions by a nonentity. End of interview."

(PS I think I was introduced to the interviewer earlier this year. I think his shoulders are broad enough to carry off a little bit of personal abuse)

Don't bet on it

[Giraffe]

By giraffe138 at 2011-06-23

"Baubleon........."

[D-Type]

Back to the original question

Following the farcial farrago of cocnuts, Bentleys, and dogsbody calumnies, I offer for the edification of the more sophisticated members of this elegant forum, a more appealing caption competition.

I can assure all potential participants that there will be valuable prize on offer to the winning entry, one both useful and of dimensions allowing for postal delivery (within reason) to most regions of the world.

All you have to do is imagine what the two famous characters depicted may be saying to each other.



To avoid the sort of controversy seen in the last endeavour on this site, and to ensure that there can be no suspicion of bias or favouritism, I invite Dogearred to be the judge. This ploy has several advantages; 1) Any fall out from thwarted entrants falls on Doggy. 2) Being the judge precludes him from entering himself. 3) I can offer him a coconut as due reward for his duties as presiding officer.

I rely entirely on the good taste and decorum of entrants to avoid any unseamly content in entries.

Good luck to you all.

bauble.

"If you can understand what I mean by a double diffuser, why can't Ferrari?"

[Sebastian Tombs]

RBr: "I mentioned you to my friend Colin M when I was having my Morgan tuned...he turned bright purple, wonder why that was"

RBu: Gulp :-(

[ExFlagMan]

I haven't felt as honoured since I was invited on to The Privy Council. (To be strictly honest, that's the privvy in my back yard..)

As opposed to The Council Privy, which around here are reputed to become as rare as Mercedes GP wins.

[DogEarred]

As opposed to The Council Privy, which around here are reputed to become as rare as Mercedes GP wins.

Motor racing toilet nostalgia - now we're talking!

I remember attending a race meeting at the Nurburgring in the late seventies with one of the supporting race teams.
We were banished from the main Fahrerlager (paddock) to a fenced off field a couple of hundred metres away. There were no facilities there except for a wooden structure which was built over an open dug out.
It was a stinking hot weekend and even the flies were fainting from the smell.
After a day and a half of this, I decided something needed doing and had to be physically restrained by my team members as I strode off towards this health hazard with a jerry can of petrol and a box of matches...
They were probably right to do so as I could well have set fire to to the whole area!

Mercedes win a GP? Don't pooh pooh the idea...

[Tim Murray]

They were probably right to do so as I could well have set fire to to the whole area!

Or emulated:

Blaster Bates: The Shower Of Shit Over Cheshire

[D-Type]

Wooden structure!

We were watching the 1963 GP at the Nurburgring. My mum wanted a pee so she asked the nearest woman where the toilet was. She shrugged and said "In der Wald". So Mum set off. She reappeared about 3/4 hour later and explained that every tree appeared to be occupied by a man and she'd had to walk about a mile to find some privacy.

[DogEarred]

Ladies! Gentlemen! NASCAR fans...

Don't neglect Bauble's far superior caption competion! Keep those entries coming in if you want the chance to win Bauble's magnifcent prize!


(Nudge nudge, just between you & me, if you want to increase your chances of winning, you could leave 'just a little something', in a plain brown envelope, with my butler.
Having said that, I will be away for a few days at a high court judges seminar on 'ethics, the law & how it applies to lap dancing' at a little, downstairs convention centre in Soho.

So you could DISCRETELY let me know via this thread what your 'little something' could be & I will let you know your chances. (Please do not send any more coconuts to my chambers.)

Order!!

[Tim Murray]

I can't see the picture any more - just the dreaded red cross.

[Sharman]

Which should currently be in its rightful place on the back of Michaels Mercedes