1. Dixon - 546 points
2. Castroneves - 521 points
3. Pagenaud - 491 points
Ladies and gentlemen, it's here: the finale of the 2013 IndyCar season! To commemorate this momentous occasion, IndyCar has bestowed upon us a rare gift: an oval race! And not just any old oval – it's Fontana, the last of our beloved triple crown which from my vague recollection produced a pretty good race last year. To be quite honest, all I remember is Will Power blowing it again – but this year I'm in luck, because Power has been courteous enough to blow it already so I might actually remember what happens in this year's race.
Having been appointed to make this thread, it is my duty to provide you all with all the key details for the race whilst trying – and inevitably failing – to be witty in the vein of Andrew Hope, famous for his incisive one liners. If there are any details that any of you need that I haven't provided, feel free to badger me and I'll do my best to find it – assuming I'm not screaming hysterically in my room at midnight, surrounded by piles of history books and scribbled copies of a half-written supervision essay on deadline day. In this case, I'll get back to you.
Now that that personally nightmarish image has faded, let's recap, shall we? What's happened so far this year? Well, we were all shocked to see Sato in contention to begin with – but that quickly passed, as deep down we all knew would happen. Power blew his chances of being runner-up for the fourth year in a row through a series of increasingly bizarre incidents. Dixon emerged mid-season with an incredible high: three straight wins. We thought it was all over – but every rise has a fall, and like the Roman Empire Dixon's year then suffered a quick decline. Unlike the Roman Empire though (if Gibbon is to be believed), the lull in Dixon's season hasn't particularly been his fault – and miraculously, what has fallen has risen again. Heading into the final race, it is Dixon who leads the championship. Castroneves has lurked in the background, keeping himself on top of the standings throughout the year by being consistently in the top five. Pagenaud's year has been slowly winding up, taking his inaugural victory at Belle Isle by defying the adamant suggestions of the commentators that he didn't have a hope in hell of winning, before following that up again by somehow surviving the train-wreck that turned out to be the very entertaining race at Baltimore.
What happened last time out? We had the doubleheader at Houston in Texas, famously home to this guy. Sadly, that's not all that Houston is now famous for. The first race had no spark, whilst the second race finished with an awful bang. From the chaos, Dixon and Power emerged as the winners. Although the racing may have been a dreadful combination of lacklustre and violent, the implications for the championship were astounding: Castroneves recorded his worst finishes of the season at the very worst moment, allowing Dixon to surge into the lead.
Pagenaud continued to cling on for dear life and, surprisingly, still has a mathematical chance of winning the championship.
So, we're all caught up. I can just about contain my excitement.
(^ I'm sure most people won't get that, but I hope at least one person will!)
<---- In case you didn't believe me that it's an oval...
Track length: 2 miles
Race length: 250 laps, 500 miles
Green flag: Saturday 19th, 8:45pm ET (Sunday 20th, 1:45am BST – OUCH!)
Spotter's guide: http://digbza2f4g9qo...20131015T141601
What would each person need to score to win the title?
Bleh. I hate maths. Let the commentators work it out for you.
To celebrate the season finale, I've put together a quiz for the race – whoever gets closest across all the questions gets a cookie...
1. Who will win the race?
2. Why not Sato?
3. Seriously, why not?
4. How many times will the commentators mention that Charlie Kimball is diabetic?
5. How many cautions will there be?
6. What monstrous piece of bad luck will befall Sebastien Bourdais during the race?
7. How many times will we be told about college football during the broadcast?
8. Who will incur the wrath - and fingers - of Will Power during the race?
9. How many times will "shophonda.com" be mentioned during the coverage?
10. How many times will I needlessly ask for the time for green flag, much to everyone's infuriation?
Edited by Muppetmad, 16 October 2013 - 15:24.