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Yeeeehaw! An Official NASCAR Texas weekend thread.


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#1 gm914

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 17:27

Holster your weapons, take your bee-noc-yulars off the Mexican border for just a minute, and put some ribs on the grill, 'cause we Texas now!

 

honey-boo-boo-gifs.gif

 

Where we racin?

Texas Motor Speedway. A 1.5 miler with 24 degree banking. But more importantly, home to Hawg Heavan's famous Bacon Cotton Candy.

 

I'll repeat that.

 

Bacon.

 

Cotton.

 

Candy.

 

chef.jpg

 

Famous Texans

Amazingly there has only ever been one famous person to come from Texas. And he doesn't even come from Texas!

 

BUSH_PICKUP_AUCTION_28800017.JPG

"Uhh, milk. bread..."

 

TRUCKS!

We are racing tonite!

Miguel Paludo already went fastest in first practice, and Dr Kes, Professional Therapist fastest in final practice.

 

The WinStar World Casino 350K (250 miles) starts at approx 8:49pmET

 

NATIONWIDE!

Back after a couple of weeks hiatus, It's pretty much a two-horse race. Austin Dillon leads Sam Hornish by 8 points.

 

Interestingly, RCR is throwing Ty Dillon into a car, presumably to help brother Austin win the championship, while Penske Racing is throwing Brad Keselowski into a car, also presumably to help Austin win the championship,

 

Look up practice and qualifying times yourself, but I will tell you that we are racing Saturday approx 3:49pmET.

And that Kyle Larson wins.

 

Hexes?

628x471.jpg

Business as usual.

 

 

CUP!

Seriously, this could be a cracking race.

 

With Kenseth and Jimmie tied in the points, this could be a duel for the ages.

 

Check out these stats:

• Jimmie Johnson leads the series in runner-up finishes at Texas Motor

Speedway with five; followed by Matt Kenseth with four.

• Matt Kenseth leads the series in top-five finishes at Texas Motor

Speedway with 12; followed by Jimmie Johnson with nine.

• Matt Kenseth and Jimmie Johnson are tied for the series lead in

top-10 finishes at Texas Motor Speedway with 15 each.

• Jimmie Johnson leads active drivers in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series

in average starting position at Texas Motor Speedway with an 8.750.

Jimmie Johnson is the only active driver with an average starting

position at Texas in the top 10.

• Two active drivers have a NASCAR Sprint Cup Series average finish in

the top 10 at Texas: Matt Kenseth (8.500) and Jimmie Johnson (9.100).

 

Holy hell!

 

The AAA Texas 500 takes place on Sunday approx 3:16pm ET.

2014 Front Row Motorsports driver Martin Truex Jr at time of writing is currently fastest in first practice, qualifying is this afternoon at approx 4:40pm ET.

 

Enjoy the races. Only 3 more Monty's to go, so tune in!

 

 

 

BTW If I have to make either of the next two OP's imma go Kvapil on all yo asses. Capisce?

:wave:



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#2 Andrew Hope

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 17:36

There is some kind of cross-sports conspiracy to schedule every NASCAR race every weekend to clash with Canadian football games, the only two sports I can be bothered to give a shit about anymore.

 

But then I watched this, and felt better:

 

 

P.S. I'll do Phoenix if no one else wants it.


Edited by Andrew Hope, 01 November 2013 - 17:36.


#3 grackle

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 18:04

Nascar.com has standardized their weekend schedule page to http://www.nascar.co...d-schedule.html Bookmark that one :)

 

Also a reminder that Daylight Savings Time ends in North America through Saturday night.

grack



#4 Watkins74

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 18:36

I felt so sorry for you guys I tried to make a thread last night but it kept getting rejected until I gave up. It had a picture of Texas BBQ, Matt and Jimmie, Captain Boring (Hornish) and the Silver Spoon (the younger one), Bubba and a big picture of Kyle with the caption "eye candy for the ladies".



#5 V3TT3L

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 19:12

RELEASE THE KRAKENlowski !!!

 

BWGyuPDCUAAWIRI.jpg

 

Forget about the CHASE !

What's hot this weekend is the first NNS encounter after #54 Kyle Bush applied a colonoscopy on #22 Brad KwasHakenbratchnierski in Kansas.

 
Owners Pointstandings
1 J D Gibbs 54 1,186
2 Roger Penske 22 1,182

 


Edited by V3TT3L, 02 November 2013 - 15:54.


#6 gm914

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 21:23

7th NCWTS pole for Jeb Burton in his rookie year.  :up:  The kid can definitely put together a fast lap.

 

Starting Lineup

#4-Jeb Burton 

#6-Justin Lofton 

#3-Ty Dillon 

#32-Miguel Paludo 

#8-Max Gresham 

#31-James Buescher 

#62-Brendan Gaughan 

#98-Johnny Sauter 

#17-Timothy Peters

#9-Ron Hornaday, Jr.  



#7 gm914

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 22:37

Your cuz and mine takes the Cup pole.

 

Starting Lineup  

#99 Edwards

#2-Keselowski 

#48-Johnson 

#27-Menard 

#18-Busch 

#20-Kenseth 

#88-Earnhardt, Jr.

 #24-Gordon 

#17-Steakhouse, Jr. 

#9-Ambrose.

 

The last 2 Cup pole sitters at Texas have won the race. 



#8 OvDrone

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 22:59

The last 2 Cup pole sitters at Texas have won the race. 

 

I guess that bodes well for my main chase dude Carl.



#9 Red17

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 00:11

You know.. at this point of the championship someone should have named the gazilion times we have to put with pill adds in the OP.



#10 pingu666

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 00:52

trucks on now btw



#11 gm914

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 01:02

Tuning in, Freddy on Justin seems to be the only show in town huh? 



#12 Baffomet

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 01:04

Yeehaw! Let's drive around a f*cking circle and drink bud light and sleep with our sisters! :drunk:  (Ok sorry, I'm drunk.)



#13 Andrew Hope

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 01:04

4chan race thread for the two or three people on Autosport who aren't there too.

 

Nice spin from Brad there.



#14 Andrew Hope

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 01:05

Yeehaw! Let's drive around a f*cking circle and drink bud light and sleep with our sisters! :drunk:  (Ok sorry, I'm drunk.)

Are you implying than getting drunk, driving fast in circles and ****ing your sister is not a good time? Because I can't think of many things better than that.



#15 gm914

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 01:12



Yeehaw! Let's drive around a f*cking circle and drink bud light and sleep with our sisters! :drunk:  (Ok sorry, I'm drunk.)

Oval. 

Miller High Life.

Step-sister.

 

Move along now, there's a thread just down there where you can discuss Kimi and his relationships.  



#16 Andrew Hope

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 01:22

Hooray, Kyle having problems.



#17 pingu666

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 01:25

ooh heard the tyre pop there



#18 gm914

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 01:26

KyBu has a bit of paper stuck to the grille. 

It reads f*ck you, Kyle Busch, signed Earth.



#19 Myrvold

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 01:28

What's hot this weekend is the first encounter after #54 Kyle Bush applied a colonoscopy on #22 Brad KwasHakenbratchnierski in Kansas.

It would've been awesome if a driver just walked off. Took a deadly calm interview and just said: "If they feel they are to slow to win without dumping others, they can win."



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#20 Andrew Hope

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 01:29

KyBu has a bit of paper stuck to the grille. 

It reads f*ck you, Kyle Busch, signed Earth.

 

81jj.jpg



#21 gm914

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 01:45

I'm going to make it a habit to listen to MRN.com during the truck broadcast. It's been enjoyable hearing about all the drivers, not just The Brad & Kyle show.  



#22 gm914

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 01:51

All Halloween orange, and chimney Red. Goodnight Kyle.   :kiss:



#23 Baffomet

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 01:55

Oval. 

Miller High Life.

Step-sister.

 

Move along now, there's a thread just down there where you can discuss Kimi and his relationships.  

Is there now? Thank you!



#24 Option1

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 02:10

Ahhhh gm, could I borrow your step-sister, mate?

 

I needs a samwich.

 

Neil



#25 MightyMoose

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 03:38

Are you implying than getting drunk, driving fast in circles and fucking your sister is not a good time? Because I can't think of many things better than that.

I agree, Baffomet's sister is pretty hot. :smoking:

 

 

Or so I've been told. :blush:



#26 gm914

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 04:27

Dat Moose.

 

I actually had to miss the last 15 laps, but Dillon was dominant throughout, he won, whatevs.  :lol:

Did he try some dumb shit on his victory burnout this time? 

 

This is exactly the kind of night I like to see Busch have.   :up:  

 

Enjoy Nationbusch, I'm working tomorrow.

May all your hexes live in Texas. 



#27 Red17

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 19:46

NNS race is now live on Motors TV.

 

I am not the only one watching... riiiiight?



#28 Victor_RO

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 19:51

Reporting in. We green now, or are there too many Sprint Cup guys intruding in this race?



#29 Andrew Hope

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 19:53

We lap 6 now!



#30 Red17

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 20:02

Kes is flying.

 

Aaaand... we have the first Danica update of the race.


Edited by Red17, 02 November 2013 - 20:03.


#31 SlipLtd

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 20:06

There is some kind of cross-sports conspiracy to schedule every NASCAR race every weekend to clash with Canadian football games, the only two sports I can be bothered to give a shit about anymore.


Something certainly is wrong 'cause my Bell FibeTV program guide is listing Hamilton @ Winnipeg on TSN and horse racing on TSN2. Horse racing? At this time of year? So I tune in and sure enough I see Brad Keselowski.

#32 pingu666

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 20:18

xD



#33 Red17

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 20:26

Seriously, how many races in row has Hornish been screwing up on pitlane?



#34 Andrew Hope

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 20:29

Cawshun!



#35 Red17

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 20:47

Chad doing his impression of Nosey Newey



#36 Andrew Hope

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 20:57

>Kyle



#37 Andrew Hope

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 21:28

I don't think I can watch 30 more laps of this.



#38 Andrew Hope

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 21:43

Needsacheck and Pastrami have both crashed. What other good guys will spin out next?



#39 Andrew Hope

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 21:56

Well, I've had a good time, but this wasn't it.



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#40 OfficeLinebacker

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Posted 02 November 2013 - 22:23

Needsacheck and Pastrami have both crashed. What other good guys will spin out next?

When the first one happened, I said "Oh no, Joe!"  I was wistfully explaining to my gf that he used to be called "Front Row Joe" and now he's "Joe Needsacheck."

 

Also, Pastrami is her favorite NationBusch driver.



#41 gm914

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Posted 03 November 2013 - 01:36

Sounds like a great race, and by great I mean utter shit.
Speaking of, I gotta work tomorrow so I will leave you with a where the HELL did Marcos Ambrose come from?!

#42 Lee Nicolle

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Posted 03 November 2013 - 05:29

Sounds like a great race, and by great I mean utter shit.
Speaking of, I gotta work tomorrow so I will leave you with a where the HELL did Marcos Ambrose come from?!

Tasmania!



#43 SR388

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Posted 03 November 2013 - 15:22

Race today. 



#44 Andrew Hope

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Posted 03 November 2013 - 16:21

I hope this is a good race because this entire weekend has sucked ass for racing.

 

Just under 4 hours to green, here is the Jayski page with the countdown timer for all of us who are stupid, Yuropean, or caught out by the clocks going back an hour, or all three, or Canadian.



#45 SR388

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Posted 03 November 2013 - 17:21

Jeff Gordon!



#46 Crafty

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Posted 03 November 2013 - 19:47

evening all



#47 Andrew Hope

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Posted 03 November 2013 - 20:01

Yo.

 

20 mins or so now.



#48 OvDrone

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Posted 03 November 2013 - 20:12

I am ready to cleanse my body from the shame of Webber's failure. Beer Now Texas.



#49 pingu666

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Posted 03 November 2013 - 20:29

checking in



#50 Andrew Hope

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Posted 03 November 2013 - 20:30

Based Michael McDowell on point :smoking:.