78 replies to this topic

[Andrew Hope]

 

Oh..yeah.. Räikkönen rap..

 

I'm the coolest and the calmest of the ice-cold Finns
Got more dots in my name than Romain has wins
More disciples than a God from Athens or Rome
Won in red, in black, and I won in chrome

Drove my first race for Sauber in 2001
First day of a decade I continue to stun
the crowd, they shout, "Kimi please don't go,
ten more years of Seb would really blow"

 

I ain't scared of that kid, it's all in his car
just 'cause cans of Dietrich's piss turned him into a star
Some say I can't take him, I'm scared, or I'll run and I'll hide
I'll shove that finger so far up his ass he'll pick his nose from the inside

 

Got my first win with McLaren, all skill and no luck

Coulda lapped the whole field in an ice cream truck

Montoya was the only cat who ever got close

but then he went to NASCAR, eatin' Doritos

 

I drive quick drunk, sober or sleeping, all faster than Massa
when it sunny and hot or wet and it rains
so full of ice cream and vodka those nerds at NASA
could fly a rocket to the moon with the blood in my veins

 

Maranello sat me down to give Nando a shot
Paid me 50 million Euros to get drunk on my yacht
Then Williams call me up and say "Kimi we gotta admit
You faster than Rubens even when you're taking a ****"

Been sitting on pole for 12 years now
And all around the world I continue to wow
12 years and y'all still don't know how my name is spelled
You just know you see it, and you don't see "Heidfeld"

I left the circus, it's true, I got sick of it all
I knew I'd be be back, I knew I'd show y'all
it ain't easy to keep racin' if the race is all snores
and you so rich you got a bank full of whores

 

They call me out now and say "He don't got heart"
but I turned Grand Prix driving into an art
They say "What's his motivation? Will he continue to race?"
I ain't always smiling, but I'm always an ace

 

Went to America where I plyed my trade

Fell asleep in NASCAR so I decided to stay

with rally, where I owned it all with ease

even when I'm sitting upside down in the trees

 

Now I'm in red again for the next two seasons

Quick as hell I don't need no reasons

Got one title with them and now I'mma get two more

fight the fight, the battle, the crusade, the war

 

I was faster than Massa, now I'm taking his spot

I'm coming for you Fred, whether you ready or not

Don't run or cry 'cause you know it's true

The whole world's gonna hear it:

 

"KIMI'S FASTER THAN YOU"
 

Edited by Andrew Hope, 13 November 2013 - 19:59.

[garagetinkerer]

"KIMI'S FASTER THAN YOU!"

 

Great effort mate...

[Buttoneer]

Brilliant ending but are we sure that Kimi has spoken that many words?  Ever?

[RosannaG]

Andrew, you have talent... And a great sense of humour... Just... Great!

 

       

[basjaski]

loved them both! These guys should rap the Kimi one:

 

The beat is so mean. If they sing the first 4 lines when the track goes ''that's the ****, the **** i aint got'' it'll fit perfect too

[SpaMaster]

Ha ha, the Kimi one is fabulous as well. I thoroughly enjoyed the two songs.

..

[Cacarella]

Andrew,  you've made me proud to be a Canadian today.

[Andrew Hope]

Andrew, you have talent... And a great sense of humour... Just... Great!

 

       

I appreciated. My plan was to write long, obnoxious posts on this forum and hope someone from Autosport would invite me to write for them and overlook my lack of any education beyond grade 11, but this seems unlikely to happen so rapping is plan B.

[P123]

LOL at the Kimi rap.  However to be fully authentic shouldn't all the words have been run together, no spacing or verses?

[OvDrone]

These raps of yours are pure alchemist stone dude, the only glimmer of damnable light in my otherwise drab and gloom week. I would give my Sunn O))) hoodie *cough* would *cough* so I could drink some heavy brown liquor with you bastard.

 

[Andrew Hope]

The bourbon's on me.

[RosannaG]

I appreciated. My plan was to write long, obnoxious posts on this forum and hope someone from Autosport would invite me to write for them and overlook my lack of any education beyond grade 11, but this seems unlikely to happen so rapping is plan B.

 

Mr Hope, you are such a character!      

 

I don't know if your plan A will work or not and I really don't care   because your plan B is so sensational. I love it!  

[Big Block 8]

You're the Ayatollah of Rock'n Rollah - no, wait... I meant... Rapollah??

[Andrew Hope]

That's kind of you to say, although I'm sure there's a few people on here who listen to real rap and not the radio **** I occasionally spin that are just cringing reading through these things I bang out in 10 minutes in an attempt to amuse myself and others in the boredom of the non-Championship battle.

[P123]

If you haven't bowed out of the rap business 'A-Ho', I'd like to request a Montoya rap.  There is a richer pot of material than most of the F1 grid combined, and you will be able to sprinkle in a suitable number of profanities which is always a positive for rap career credibility.

[Buttoneer]

I'm trying to get this to work with Epic by Faith No More and it sort of gets there but I'm not sure what to use for the chorus line.  Please, Mr RapperWriter, what should I use?

 

Oh, and '2001 need to be just '01' or 'oh one' to fit that song.

[gm914]

I'm trying to get this to work with Epic by Faith No More and it sort of gets there but I'm not sure what to use for the chorus line.  Please, Mr RapperWriter, what should I use?

 

Oh, and '2001 need to be just '01' or 'oh one' to fit that song.

Yes 'A-Ho', we need to hear this with a phat beat (is that what the kids say?) to really get a complete picture of The Artist's vision. Youtube it. 

[Andrew Hope]

I'll see what I can do. I was thinking a Villeneuve rap might be fun. I want to get a few good ones in before both me and the crowd get bored of this ****.

[Wanderer]

Don't let this thread die.

 

This pic's from the Vettel rap video btw:

 

[K-One]

Kimi rap, 1:55

[Sin]

Don't let this thread die.

 

This pic's from the Vettel rap video btw:

 

 

this is the pic of Seb after the Rap Video, when he was arrested for being too sexy (and smoking tons of Red Bull..... yeah that works somehow):

 

[sennafan24]

Don't let this thread die.

 

This pic's from the Vettel rap video btw:

 

 

Seb is a pro wrestler in his spare time you know.

[garagetinkerer]

 

Seb is a pro wrestler in his spare time you know.

I was thinking of it, and there you had done it already!

[Andrew Hope]

On the off chance anyone gives a ****, Montoya rap incoming tomorrow.

 

Or when I remember this thread .

Edited by Andrew Hope, 24 December 2013 - 21:47.

[jcbc3]

Will there be swear words?

[Jovanotti]

****ing brilliant stuff mate

[The Kanisteri]

rap?

 

(facepalm here)

[kenkip]

Maranello sat me down to give Nando a shot
Paid me 50 million Euros to get drunk on my yacht
Then Williams call me up and say "Kimi we gotta admit
You faster than Rubens even when you're taking a ****"

 

LOOOOOOOOOL!

Made my day Andrew cheers mate!

Dont mean to tell you how to do your job but can you do a Hamilton one?You would have tones of material!

[jonpollak]

You are fantabadozie.
Jp

Edited by jonpollak, 28 November 2013 - 08:14.