6 replies to this topic

[Risil]

I'm going to level with you. I need your help here.

I won't explain how or why but last week I found myself rooting around the bins at the Place de la Concorde. Aside from a few miscellaneous items like a manuscript entitled "Why I had to stop Ayrton Senna and here's how I did it", by some guy called J Balestre and an order confirmation from Bernie's Bondage Emporium with a delivery address to Woking or somewhere, which I quickly discarded, I found a document containing a full list of winners of the FIA's yet-to-be-announced Annual Awards Barbecue and Karaoke Evening. It had the official FIA letterhead on it so the possibility of a hoax is close to zero.

 

However, some tool spilled Tipp-Ex over half the document and the category they won the award in is totally illegible.

 

Typical eh? But fear not, netizens and netizeuses of this forum, all is not lost. Ingenuity in numbers. As Confucius said, "If you can't come to a decision, ask everyone in your village for advice." I think we can gazump the FIA and discover all their award winners, months or possibly years before the Awards Barbecue actually takes place. I'll list the winners, you come up with the categories. At the end there might be a poll or something.

 

Here we go:

1. British F3 hotshot Takuma Sato

 

2. Menace to society Pastor Maldonado

 

3. NASCAR fan's favourite Austin Dillon

 

4. Lotus F1 driver Davide Valsecchi

 

5. Popular Canadian Andrew Hope

 

6. Four-time world champion T-1000

 

Okay then. Post away. Don't make me look bad.

Edited by Risil, 26 November 2013 - 22:18.

[jonpollak]

Don't make me look bad.

Oh well...better luck next year.

Jp

[Option1]

Risil, it's very difficult to make you look bad when you've done such a fine job yourself.

 

Having said that, I'll play.  And the winners are:

 

Drug's I have Known and Loved:  Mr A. Hope, 3rd dumpster on the right after the Portaloos, Kanuckistan.

 

Cars I have Named because I can't find a Girlfriend:  Mr. A. Hope, 4th dumpster on the right after the BBQ, Kanuckistan.

 

Men Without Hats - The You Can Dance if You Want To Memorial Award:  Mr. A.  Dillon, nope sorry, that was a typo.  The winner is Mr. A. Hope, 32 Eh, I'm Sorry Lane, Kanuckistan.

 

Let's Run that Up the Flagpole Award for Speculative Ballroom Dancing and Investment in Lotus:  Pastor Maldonado, as impersonated by Mr. A. Hope, Igloo Mansions, Kanuckistan.

 

The All You Can Eat Award for Ferrari Macaroni Company of Turin, Alabama:  A surprise result here,  Mr A. Hope, WTF WAS THAT, Kanuckistan.

 

And the Grand Prize winner for Driver of the Year While Under the Influence of an Unregistered Hairstylist goes to:  Mr. A. Hope, And All Who Sail In Her Drainage Ditch, The Flatlands, Kanuckistan.

 

So there we have it, no real surprises, apart from the one category.  Our congratulations to Mr. Hope and our commiserations to the losers; stupid, useless losers...

 

Neil

Edited by Option1, 26 November 2013 - 19:00.

[Risil]

Fantastic. And after all the research I did!

Thanks for playing, Neil!

[ollebompa]

I'd play to if it wasnt for my total lack of imagination and humor.

[Buttoneer]

1. Pastor Maldonado won the Tampon Odor Salad award.  First place is no mean feat so big 'grats.

 

2. The Loin In Adults prize goes to Austin Dillon.  Mazel tov.

 

3. The Evils Cached Diva award is sought after every year but this time well deserved by...Davide Valsecchi.!  Yay!

 

4. The Viable Ant Testes award is for best non-use of Multi 21 and goes to he who must not be named.

 

5. Finally, Takuma Sato is proud recipient of the prize for having a name which doesn't generate very good anagrams at all.  I hope he's satisfied.

[PEW]

So, I'm in the wall  award for the most abrasive driver-race engineer radio traffic

 

Just tried Romain Grosgean - not recommended for a family site!