Jump to content


Photo
* * * - - 4 votes

What if football would be run like Formula 1


  • Please log in to reply
55 replies to this topic

#1 Kucki

Kucki
  • Member

  • 1,239 posts
  • Joined: June 09

Posted 23 December 2013 - 18:11

Goals in the last 10 minutes of a game would count for two.

 

If one team is unable to score a goal, the coach can press a button that increases the opponents size of the goal by 1 metre in length and height.

 

Anything more then light nizzle rain immediately stops the game.

 

Lines on the ground are mere suggestive and can be ignored, there are no boundaries or limits of play, you can leave and reenter the pitch with the ball without any consequences.

 

Any tackle is an immediate punishment.

 

If your shoestrings open up during the game, you have to play the next game with only 10 players.

 

Anything else then robotic standard statements get a harsh rebuttal from everybody.

 

Ball and shoes have to be designed in a way that they desintegrate very soon upon putting pressure on them. Players have to learn to get to the end of the game without there equipment falling into pieces.

 

The football commercial rights get sold for a thousand years to the highest bidder.


Edited by Kucki, 24 December 2013 - 17:26.


Advertisement

#2 1Devil1

1Devil1
  • Member

  • 2,747 posts
  • Joined: May 12

Posted 23 December 2013 - 18:13

Goals in the last 10 minutes of a game would count for two.

 

If one team is unable to score a goal, the coach can press a button that increases the opponents size of the goal by 1 metre in length and height.

 

Anything more then light nizzle rain immediately stops the game.

 

Lines on the ground are mere suggestive and can be ignored, there are no boundaries or limits of play, you can leave and reenter the pitch with the ball without any consequences.

 

Any tackle is an immediate punishment.

 

If your shoestrings open up during the game, you have to play the next game with only 10 players.

 

Ball and shoes have to be designed in a way that they desintegrate very soon upon putting pressure on them. Players have to learn to get to the end of the game without there equipment falling into peaces.

 

Oranges and apples  :wave: Playing football one a wet pitch should be quit different to driving a race car on a wet track



#3 Andrew Hope

Andrew Hope
  • Writer of 2013's Best Opening Post

  • 7,047 posts
  • Joined: October 09

Posted 23 December 2013 - 18:15

If football was like F1, as soon as there was any real history in a stadium it would be immediately shut down and all further games played in the parking lot outside. In front of no one.



#4 Szoelloe

Szoelloe
  • Member

  • 5,681 posts
  • Joined: December 06

Posted 23 December 2013 - 18:18

LOL?



#5 nosecone

nosecone
  • Member

  • 792 posts
  • Joined: January 13

Posted 23 December 2013 - 18:25

tackles to be investigated after the match



#6 stillOrange

stillOrange
  • Member

  • 934 posts
  • Joined: April 10

Posted 23 December 2013 - 18:34

They would get ready to start the game but would have a quick few minutes kick about before actually starting it.

Messi would have won his three FIFA Ballon d'Ors only because he had boots advantage over Ronaldo

#7 Fastcake

Fastcake
  • Member

  • 6,169 posts
  • Joined: April 10

Posted 23 December 2013 - 18:35

At least Football doesn't sell events to dubious desert dictatorships...



#8 Szoelloe

Szoelloe
  • Member

  • 5,681 posts
  • Joined: December 06

Posted 23 December 2013 - 18:42

At least Football doesn't sell events to dubious desert dictatorships...

 

You sure about that? Blatter makes Balestre and Mosley molded together look like Cinderella.



#9 1Devil1

1Devil1
  • Member

  • 2,747 posts
  • Joined: May 12

Posted 23 December 2013 - 18:47

At least Football doesn't sell events to dubious desert dictatorships...

 

Yeah, and that's why the world cup went to Russia and Qatar, not for the money, just because Blatter loves football



#10 BenettonB192

BenettonB192
  • Member

  • 850 posts
  • Joined: April 10

Posted 23 December 2013 - 18:53

If football was like F1, as soon as there was any real history in a stadium it would be immediately shut down and all further games played in the parking lot outside. In front of no one.

 

The situations of stadiums is actualy quite similar. Classic ones get demolished and replaced by samey modern ones that lack character but have plenty of vip space.



#11 Fastcake

Fastcake
  • Member

  • 6,169 posts
  • Joined: April 10

Posted 23 December 2013 - 19:16

I do hope you got I was being sarcastic guys...

 

 

Really football is no better than F1, and probably even more corrupted by money.



#12 Atreiu

Atreiu
  • Member

  • 9,888 posts
  • Joined: May 07

Posted 23 December 2013 - 19:28

New cleats introduced mid game because the original ones, provided by a single company and designed for given parametres, kept falling apart.


Edited by Atreiu, 23 December 2013 - 19:29.


#13 KnucklesAgain

KnucklesAgain
  • Member

  • 4,822 posts
  • Joined: February 10

Posted 23 December 2013 - 19:38

If one team is unable to score a goal, the coach can press a button that increases the opponents size of the goal by 1 metre in length and height.

 

Funny post for sure, but of course apples and oranges, like someone said. The above, e.g., would only be comparable if in football the goals shrank when someone got close to them, and not by the rules but because of clever engineering by the defenders' suppliers.



#14 ali.unal

ali.unal
  • Member

  • 3,277 posts
  • Joined: June 09

Posted 23 December 2013 - 19:48

Instead of yellow card, players would be given 100m stop-and-run penalty.

 

(Gosh, I love these threads).



#15 Anderis

Anderis
  • Member

  • 2,665 posts
  • Joined: December 09

Posted 23 December 2013 - 19:51

When injuried player lies on the field, other players have to run behind refree around the field and can't overtake each other.

 

When one player can't run as quick, as being no more than 7% slower than the quickest player on the field, he can't participate in match, unless refree decides he was unable to run quicker due to special circumstances.

 

Goalkeeper can't move more than once when he is defending the goal against striker. Striker can't move more than once to dribble the opponent.

 

Lesser teams need to hire footballers that pay for playing for them in order to be competitive enough to survive.



#16 emmanuelrubi

emmanuelrubi
  • Member

  • 371 posts
  • Joined: November 13

Posted 23 December 2013 - 20:00

A pretty mediocre player who often crash and make fouls and blame it on the other player will secure a place in a "top team" just because in his country they prefer to spend the cash on him rather than on toilet paper.



#17 Skinnyguy

Skinnyguy
  • Member

  • 4,293 posts
  • Joined: August 10

Posted 23 December 2013 - 20:03

Football is just as bad. At least in F1 stewards have replays to judge an incident, instead football neglects technology and keeps bringing avoidable human mistakes distorting the fairness of a match.



#18 Kingshark

Kingshark
  • Member

  • 2,944 posts
  • Joined: April 12

Posted 23 December 2013 - 20:17

Codemasters ensure that FIFA 14 The Game would come out at the end of 2015.


Edited by Kingshark, 23 December 2013 - 20:17.


#19 Atreiu

Atreiu
  • Member

  • 9,888 posts
  • Joined: May 07

Posted 23 December 2013 - 21:05

A win in the games of the last round of the season will be worth 6 points.



Advertisement

#20 scheivlak

scheivlak
  • Member

  • 11,487 posts
  • Joined: August 01

Posted 23 December 2013 - 22:01

 

Any tackle is an immediate punishment.

 

 

Well, if F1 is run like football, all cars have to stop if any punishable contact is made by two of the cars, and they have to wait for the race director to start again   ;)



#21 ensign14

ensign14
  • Member

  • 37,314 posts
  • Joined: December 01

Posted 23 December 2013 - 22:02

If football were like F1, people from all around the world would support a team, not because they have any emotional commitment, any connexions with the location, any tradition with that team or are even of any importance to the existence of that team, but because that team happens to win a lot.

 

And don't care if that team wins via cheating or out-spending everyone else.



#22 apoka

apoka
  • Member

  • 3,519 posts
  • Joined: May 09

Posted 23 December 2013 - 22:16

If football were run like F1, then players who celebrate with their fans after the game would be penalised due to an unnecessary delay before leaving the stadium.

 



#23 ensign14

ensign14
  • Member

  • 37,314 posts
  • Joined: December 01

Posted 23 December 2013 - 22:25

If football were like F1, a team would abandon its age-old traditional colours because some Malaysian chancer bungs in a few dodgy bob.



#24 Andrew Hope

Andrew Hope
  • Writer of 2013's Best Opening Post

  • 7,047 posts
  • Joined: October 09

Posted 23 December 2013 - 23:08

tackles to be investigated after the match

 

Five game ban for all infringements*

 

*Bans are not applicable to any player with red farm animals on their uniform.



#25 joshb

joshb
  • Member

  • 3,283 posts
  • Joined: March 11

Posted 23 December 2013 - 23:26

It would be played on Tarmac, at grounds in the far east and the fans would be 200 yards from the pitch



#26 FerrariV12

FerrariV12
  • Member

  • 348 posts
  • Joined: October 04

Posted 24 December 2013 - 00:38

The Premier League/La Liga/Serie A/insert top flight league here would become a closed shop to the 20 or so teams currently in it, no more promotion/relegation, and admission to the top flight would only be possible by going through the FI(F)A "selection process" rather than on-field merit.

 

Through human cloning techniques, all teams will be required to use a "spec goalkeeper" to make things more even. Additionally, in the name of entertainment, after a couple of years a new firm is contracted by FI(F)A to create a genetically inferior "spec goalkeeper" through innovative inbreeding techniques. The rules require this new "spec goalkeeper" to be substituted for a slightly different version of the "spec goalkeeper", known as a "compound", at some point during the match. As an unintended side-effect of the inbreeding, this "spec goalkeeper" can be prone to quite literally explode when placed under stress. All fans must give praise to the sporting director of said genetic engineering firm, and must remember how "boring" the sport was before they got involved.

 

Teams may employ a central midfield of their choosing, but the players must be in a FI(F)A-specified formation, and the individuals submitted to a cryogenic lab to be "frozen" for use for the subsequent seasons.

 

Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo and Luis Suarez referred to the technical delegate, deemed to be "too creative" and banned from the game forthwith, with the rules specifying what can and can't be done with the ball clarified for the following season.

 
If a team is trailing by one goal in a game and gets the ball into the opposition's half, they are awarded a penalty.

 

World Cup sent to places like Qatar, Oh wait...

 

The creation of the "Goalscoring Working Group".

 

Any commentator or reporter covering a match is required to loudly proclaim how "boring", not just the match in question, but the entire sport is after any 0-0 draw.

 

The final round of games to be worth 6 points.


Edited by FerrariV12, 24 December 2013 - 00:40.


#27 ElDictatore

ElDictatore
  • Member

  • 880 posts
  • Joined: January 12

Posted 24 December 2013 - 02:35

 A striker, which is just about to shoot a goal has to pass to the other striker, because he's the nr. 2 striker.

 

Players constantly falling because they couldn't find the right balance

 

C. Ronaldo complaining: "We didn't lose against Messi. We lost against Tito Vilanova."

 

All players are equipped with a headset, so called Team radio. There's much less talking now, because players get annoyed otherwise.



#28 SR388

SR388
  • Member

  • 3,828 posts
  • Joined: March 11

Posted 24 December 2013 - 03:11

Tom Brady and Peyton Manning would have 4 Super  Bowl rings a piece. 


Edited by SR388, 24 December 2013 - 03:11.


#29 Grayson

Grayson
  • AUTOSPORT digital product manager

  • 1,359 posts
  • Joined: July 08

Posted 24 December 2013 - 11:26

Can you imagine? It would make Football unwatchable:

 

- Some teams would have so much money to spend that it the league would only be contested between them. Other teams in the same league wouldn't even be trying to win, but would just be trying to finish above the other poorer teams.

 

 

- Players would be signed for their marketing and sponsorship value rather than for how good they were at Football. An English team would sign players from the Far East in the hope of selling a few more shirts in the player's nation or an American team would buy a popstar's husband to act as their mascot.

 

- Major tournaments would be played in countries with dubious human rights records where the weather conditions weren't right for the sport. If these countries were in the "wrong" timezone then games would be played at a bizarre time of day so that it worked better for the European TV audience.

 

- After years of everyone being perfectly happy to see drawn cup games replayed, they'd throw in some sort of artificial rules to spice up the action and make the calendar work more conveniently. If they were going to go really far, they could do something like having spot kicks decide the tie instead of a replay or say that one goal decides everything in the last half an hour.

 

- Historical teams would be taken over by wealthy owners who had no respect for the tradition of the club and made crazy decisions like changing the colour of the team's shirts.

 

 

- Everything would be covered in seemingly arbitrary sponsorship, from the players to the pitch. If that wasn't enough, they'd rename the stadia so that you were forced to namedrop a sponsor just so that you could explain where you were going that afternoon.

 

 

- If a player crashed to the ground, they'd bring in some sort of artificial safety car situation like asking the other team to kick the ball out of play until the fallen player could be taken away.

 

- The games wouldn't necessarily be shown on free-to-air TV, but might end up being sold to the highest bidder to broadcast on a pay TV channel. They'd be able to sell it for so much money that no one would even care if the attendances were good at the grounds, so long as the TV audience was big.

 

- If a town had a bit of money but no Football team good enough to play in the professional leagues, they could just buy a team that was playing somewhere else in the country and move them to their town. The authorities would ignore what the so called "fans" wanted and let the money talk.

 

- Elderly Football fans would hark back to the old days when, "the players were real men who didn't mind getting hurt. Not like these wimps playing today who demand a safety car the moment it rains yellow card the moment someone goes near them."



#30 Tenmantaylor

Tenmantaylor
  • Member

  • 8,317 posts
  • Joined: July 01

Posted 24 December 2013 - 11:51

Heaven forbid!  :lol:

 

Interesting how even small football teams in the EPL continue to attract more wealthy owners than F1 teams.

 

Is the spread of money more even from the top to the bottom of the EPL than the F1 grid?



#31 Kristian

Kristian
  • Member

  • 597 posts
  • Joined: June 05

Posted 24 December 2013 - 12:25

Players would have to wear boots designed to fall apart after 30 minutes of running (an advantage for the slower players), necessitating a couple of changes of footwear per game. 



#32 03011969

03011969
  • Member

  • 497 posts
  • Joined: September 12

Posted 24 December 2013 - 12:49

You'd have a formula 1 race held in a very hot place at the hight of summer thanks to, allegedly, a big financial backhander to F1's equivalent of Sepp Blatter, then possibly have to move it to Winter, messing up all sorts of other sports.

If you thought the FIA was corrupt, it's nothing compared with FIFA.

#33 Reinmuster

Reinmuster
  • Member

  • 654 posts
  • Joined: September 10

Posted 24 December 2013 - 13:48

If football runs like F1, then FIA Formula One World Championship should be run once in 4 years.

 

Then there a continental championship, like UEFA Euros and Copa America.

 

Then there's club's world cup that runs every 2 years (?)

 

The list goes on...



#34 ensign14

ensign14
  • Member

  • 37,314 posts
  • Joined: December 01

Posted 24 December 2013 - 14:00

Heaven forbid!  :lol:

 

Interesting how even small football teams in the EPL continue to attract more wealthy owners than F1 teams.

 

Is the spread of money more even from the top to the bottom of the EPL than the F1 grid?

 

Obviously I am not talking about any specific examples, but it is a lot easier to launder money in football.  There's a large cash economy with tickets and half-time Bovril, nobody bats an eyelid if someone pays £7m for an untried Portuguese reserve who happens to have an agent who is mates with managers at both ends of the deal, and with the amount of TV money percolating through it's not suspicious when large sums pass between accounts.



#35 x600

x600
  • Member

  • 87 posts
  • Joined: October 13

Posted 24 December 2013 - 14:20

Football like F1?

 

One player with shoes and the others barefoot.



#36 Henri Greuter

Henri Greuter
  • Member

  • 4,802 posts
  • Joined: June 02

Posted 24 December 2013 - 14:25

Long time ago in my country we had s TV show in which a game heavily inspired by Football was organized. But for starters, it was indoor, thus a smaller field and smaller teams. No regular kick-off but a ball being dropped from a high point above the centerpoint: who got it first had the advantage. And there was a strip of field behind the goals on which could be played on as well and the goals had two rings in the rear wall through which a goal could be scored as well when shot from behind the goal.
Most comparable with a recent F1 rule change: Goals scored with the head counted double!

So... it can be done......


Henri

#37 EthanM

EthanM
  • Member

  • 2,104 posts
  • Joined: April 09

Posted 24 December 2013 - 15:02

If football were like F1, people from all around the world would support a team, not because they have any emotional commitment, any connexions with the location, any tradition with that team or are even of any importance to the existence of that team, but because that team happens to win a lot.

 

And don't care if that team wins via cheating or out-spending everyone else.

 

of course, cause ManU, Barcelona, Real and AC Milan etc fans all have deep historical ties to the clubs. They are not fans cause they spend the GDP of a small nation in player salaries and transfer fees and win allot.



#38 sopa

sopa
  • Member

  • 2,933 posts
  • Joined: April 07

Posted 24 December 2013 - 15:50

Some pretty creative ideas in this thread. :lol:

 

Though I agree with those, who say that football is corrupt as well with its own problems. Different sport - different problems. Modern-day society problems exist everywhere, not just F1.

 

However, the plus-side for football is that they aren't really desperate for new fanbases, because they are naturally by far the most popular sport in the world.

I have to say I get the impression F1 tries to attract all kinds of fans to its audience. F1 has grown a lot over the last 20-30 years, but you'd say at the expense of "traditional values".

I am sure if one day for whatever reason the viewing figures of football dropped massively and they became concerned with "attracting more fans" to the sport, they'd start thinking about making the fundamentals of the sport more attractive too. Like how to get more goals per game.



#39 RealRacing

RealRacing
  • Member

  • 1,753 posts
  • Joined: February 12

Posted 24 December 2013 - 16:26

Hmm let's try it the other way around: whenever two cars were close, both drivers would fake contact, deliberately moving their cars all over the place and almost spinning them, and then whine on the radio demanding a penalty to the other driver...



Advertisement

#40 Burtros

Burtros
  • Member

  • 1,017 posts
  • Joined: July 11

Posted 24 December 2013 - 16:41

If football were like F1 they'd have TV replays so they could at least understand what had happened before rushing to make often incorrect decisions. 1966 ahem.

 

If football were like F1 the fans wouldn't have to be segregated, and half a towns police force wouldn't have to be paid by the hosts to look after proceedings on the day.

 

If football were like F1 there would be 19 games on free to air TV per year, rather than highlights only.

 

I could go on. It goes both ways. My two favorite sports as it happens.



#41 Maustinsj

Maustinsj
  • Member

  • 643 posts
  • Joined: February 12

Posted 24 December 2013 - 16:41

If football were like F1, a team would abandon its age-old traditional colours because some Malaysian chancer bungs in a few dodgy bob.


Like Cardiff City - the Bluebirds - who now play in red!

#42 SR388

SR388
  • Member

  • 3,828 posts
  • Joined: March 11

Posted 24 December 2013 - 17:15

Archie Manning would have to pay to keep Eli on the NY Giants!



#43 demet06

demet06
  • Member

  • 114 posts
  • Joined: December 13

Posted 24 December 2013 - 19:39

You couldn't run football like F1 as the FIA are always moving the goalposts!



#44 Disgrace

Disgrace
  • RC Forum Host

  • 9,910 posts
  • Joined: January 10

Posted 24 December 2013 - 22:46

Players would have to wear boots designed to fall apart after 30 minutes of running (an advantage for the slower players), necessitating a couple of changes of footwear per game. 

 

Not forgetting it would also be mandated that each player must run both types of boots during the match. As you cannot mix them, players would have to wear two left or right boots in the half of their choosing (so long as they wore whatever it was at the end of the last training session during the first half).



#45 demet06

demet06
  • Member

  • 114 posts
  • Joined: December 13

Posted 25 December 2013 - 18:08

Not forgetting it would also be mandated that each player must run both types of boots during the match. As you cannot mix them, players would have to wear two left or right boots in the half of their choosing (so long as they wore whatever it was at the end of the last training session during the first half).

 

 

What about teams switching their left and right boots against the advice of Pirelli Addidas, therefore risking the boots delaminating.



#46 Atreiu

Atreiu
  • Member

  • 9,888 posts
  • Joined: May 07

Posted 25 December 2013 - 19:20

No training in between matchs, players/teams resort to advanced videogames away from public eyes.


Edited by Atreiu, 25 December 2013 - 19:20.


#47 William Hunt

William Hunt
  • Member

  • 3,290 posts
  • Joined: July 01

Posted 26 December 2013 - 01:18

The player who scores the winning goal would eat a doughnut after the match!



#48 Maustinsj

Maustinsj
  • Member

  • 643 posts
  • Joined: February 12

Posted 26 December 2013 - 22:15

Man, this thread has gone downhill in the space of one page!  :well:



#49 alfa1

alfa1
  • Member

  • 1,789 posts
  • Joined: June 02

Posted 26 December 2013 - 23:50

No training in between matchs, players/teams resort to advanced videogames away from public eyes.

 

There would be an exemption for "filming", where a few times a year,

- cameras could be set up to film a player running in a straight line.

- cameras could be set up to film a player kicking a 3 year old ball.

 

These events, where players get away from the "videogames in a dark room", would be strictly limited. 

Outrage and official inquiries would begin if there was a suggestion that the player was actually practising their skills.


Edited by alfa1, 26 December 2013 - 23:50.


#50 R Soul

R Soul
  • Member

  • 599 posts
  • Joined: August 06

Posted 27 December 2013 - 12:22

All boots supplied by one company. If they want to try a new boot design they have to get permission from the FIFA and all the clubs. And they can only test new designs using retired players like Gary Linekar.