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The NASCAR Food 500 Thread - Intoducing Tony Zefat!


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#1 Red17

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Posted 14 March 2014 - 22:21

Food-City-500.jpg

 

 

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Hallo gearrheads! Tony herre, Todayz I bez making ze introduction forr ze spring race at Bristol!

 

Since I bez ze new lizarrd around here I make shorrt prresentation about meself. I bez ze owner of ze Grreen Rracing Machine, I bez also a defenderr of ze misunderrstood. As ze owner of ze Grreen Rracing Machine and as lizarrd I come acrross manyz misunderrstood. Zou known, sometimes bad luck happens and keeps bad, Lookzie at Damen Patrick,



Zo she get's ay little angrry and now ze folks hatez her. Verry unfairr you treatz a lady like that! Givez Danica some rroom!

 

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Zen, zere are me 2 boyz, Kurrtis und Kylez.

 

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It bez amazing how peoplez likez toz paintz zem as ze bad guys! Vat is wrrong with beingz ay littlez morre defensive? Jimmy Johnson bez ze real culprit! Here bez ze videogrraphical evidence!

 

Kylez bez a grreat speakerr too! Morre videogrraphical evidence below!

 

 

Ze cat?

 

I bez surre youz must saying "Gator ate ze cat!".
Complete misunderrstatement! Cats bez very dangerous to Lizarrds, seez ze video!


 

Zo, vere are we racingz today?

 

Baby_alligator_ride.jpg
 

 

Vell, we bez racing atz Bristol. Ze must misunderrstood trackz in ze Deutsche Tourenwagen Meinstershaft

 

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Vas is wrrong vit a littlez push? Pokinz bez fun! And ze fun makez ze peoplez happy!

 

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Zo, since ze points bez no use atz zis... point, zere are goofers bez still lookingz on ze outside of ze Hockenheim Ende.

082213_KEEPING_JJ_IN_SIGHT_2_PI_CH_20130

Zou better starrtz worrkingz boysz, ze Dale Stable bez on boarrd und ze Twitterrrman too!.

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Ze Natiowidez Insurrance vill also sponsorr a rrace on ze Saturrday. Ze misunderrtood trrucks still bez missing.
 

Ze big winnar of ze race bez given a sarrdine forr ze efforrt. Sarrdine bez tasty zo I aprrove ze prize. Ze Grill still bez empty.

 

1-gato-comendo-sardinha-1.jpg
 

Ze racez bez shownz inz SkyzF1, RTLz, und otherz trransmitorz in ze world


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Zo, vere arre ze timez for ze racez:

 

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Ze Qualifies already gone. Zou bez too late.

 

Zo, only ze races to go. Ze rulez bez announced 10 minutez before ze green flag, yellowz bez ze work of Refcar GmbH

 

Ze Allianz Autos Bez on Saturday atz 19:00 CET

 

Ze Deutsche Telekom bez atz 18:00 CET

 

Zou bez in amerika?! Use ze brain to make ze converrsion! I bez ay lizarrd, not ze Einstein!

 

In ze next intrroduction I vill post ze commentz by me good friendz Norby about ze Geny 5 C Classe

 

NASCAR-BLOG-ALL-SCHEMES-130.jpg

 

Latez minute atchung! Zere vill be no Rrenault motorz in ze racez, but ze people hatez zem forr no reason, ze motorz, even if frrench bez verry safe.

 




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#2 Risil

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Posted 14 March 2014 - 22:28

Wtf, this is fantastic



#3 Ross Stonefeld

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Posted 14 March 2014 - 22:56

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#4 whitewaterMkII

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Posted 14 March 2014 - 23:29

Don't forget to get your bets down with WW Mk II's betting parlor.

Now with a betting office in Somalia where Solly Olawutobi is ready to lay the odds 24/7 !

 

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#5 HaydenFan

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Posted 14 March 2014 - 23:39

While I like Bristol and Martinsville, I really wish NASCAR ran on a non-extreme half-mile. Or something that is an actual half-mile. 

 

But, lets move on to this race:

 

Keselowski is my pick. Just has the momentum of the season since Daytona. Plus, since Johnny Benson left, he is the home state favorite. 

 

Shocked by the lack of performance this season by Stewart and Vickers so far. But Tony has never been the best to start a season off well and is coming off an injury. 



#6 Andrew Hope

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Posted 14 March 2014 - 23:40

Starting grid: http://www.jayski.co...alifying-Lineup

 

Pole lap 14.761s @ 129.991mph

 

Row 1 Hamlin/Keselowski

Row 2 Kenseth/Logano

Row 3 Ambrose/Gordon

Row 4 Kryle/Biffle

Row 5 Kahne/Newman

 

Danica starting 36th, Smoke 37th, Reuttiman & Blaney were the DNQs.


Edited by Andrew Hope, 14 March 2014 - 23:43.


#7 SR388

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Posted 14 March 2014 - 23:52

Looking forward to Monday night's race.

#8 Ross Stonefeld

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 00:22

I want a half mile oval, but off-camber. 



#9 Andrew Hope

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 00:34

I want a 2.5 mile superspeedway shaped like Barbagallo.



#10 jonpollak

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 01:20

Zat Cat iz hella awesome !!!

Jp



#11 Deluxx

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 04:51

Jajajaja 

 

Sorry AH but you know the drill

 

<---

 

:smoking:



#12 PayasYouRace

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 07:46

Looking forward to this one. The Cup returning to proper NASCAR country after an Indycar track and the Caesar's Palace car park.

 

I actually dug out my PS2 to play NASCAR 08 as it's the only NASCAR game I have to hand.



#13 OvDrone

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 11:10

Man, I love lizards. All that cool cold blood, bringing the ladies to the yard.

 

It's nearly a full moon on Sunday so, I'll pick Hamlin for the win. Logic.



#14 nosecone

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 11:38

Ze opener remindz me of zis:

 

 

fast forward to 0:25



#15 OfficeLinebacker

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 13:24

Dis gon be gud



#16 Deluxx

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 13:27

Over/under for helmets thrown at windscreens?



#17 HaydenFan

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 15:33

Looking forward to this one. The Cup returning to proper NASCAR country after an Indycar track and the Caesar's Palace car park.

 

I actually dug out my PS2 to play NASCAR 08 as it's the only NASCAR game I have to hand.

 

Is that the one where the AI are immovable objects and any bumping of them leads you with a trip to the infield or wall?



#18 Andrew Hope

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 17:57

Haha time for Nationwide!



#19 jonpollak

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 18:12

Die-A-Beetus

Everybodys gettin in on it !!!

Jp



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#20 Atreiu

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 18:24

Short tracks aren't my cup of tea, dunno why. 



#21 Richard T

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 18:28

NASCAR reverted to old graphics? 


Edited by Richard T, 15 March 2014 - 18:30.


#22 Red17

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 18:39

NASCAR reverted to old graphics? 

 

It's ESPN, only FOX has those useless graphics.



#23 Richard T

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 18:46

It's ESPN, only FOX has those useless graphics.

 

Snap..



#24 Andrew Hope

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 18:58

Debris in turn 4, Mike Bliss.



#25 PayasYouRace

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 19:12

Is that the one where the AI are immovable objects and any bumping of them leads you with a trip to the infield or wall?

 

No you can bump them out of your way. You can also "share draft" and gain allies or "intimidate" and they'll try to have you off.



#26 djparky

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 19:27

either the Cup drivers are really good or the Nationwide regulars are really poor- to have lapped everyone up to 8th place by 100 laps....felt like I saw the same thing last week as well



#27 Atreiu

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 19:30

I agree, it always seems there's an abyss between Cup and Nationwide drivers.



#28 Ross Stonefeld

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 19:30

They tend to have Cup prepared cars and often Cup pit-crews.



#29 Andrew Hope

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 19:31

The Cup guys are in way, way better equipment.

 

But at least the rookies are gaining a lot of valuable experience being lapped by the Cup regulars.



#30 HaydenFan

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 20:05

The Cup guys are in way, way better equipment.

 

But at least the rookies are gaining a lot of valuable experience being lapped by the Cup regulars.

 

With turn over in NASCAR as abysmal as in IndyCar, it'll be the only time even the best non-Cup affiliated Nationwide guys will get to Sprint Cup as well. 



#31 Red17

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 20:07

Kyle+Busch+rules+sign.jpg



#32 RuleyRamundo

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 20:10

Just ban Kyle LOL.



#33 nosecone

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 20:11

congrats to KB. seems like he has been the best today



#34 Option1

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 20:23

Kyle+Busch+rules+sign.jpg

Hmmm, a strong resemblance to Honey Booboo or whatever her name is.  Yep, would fit right in with the Kyle fan demographic. 

 

Neil



#35 Deluxx

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 00:54

This is too much. 

 

I mean, on one hand, you wanna see the fastest car win.

 

On the other, you get tired of 95% of the races this year being led by the same person.

 

Bah.

 

Tomorrows race should be cool tho, whos watchin?



#36 whitewaterMkII

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 01:45

what a joke

NASCAR better wise up or NW will not be attracting any owners or drivers that are not NASCAR regulars.



#37 paulb

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 03:25

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Approves of this thread.



#38 Dilla

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 04:24

Race not looking good for tomorrow. Rain forcasted for all afternoon, turning to snow Sunday night.



#39 grackle

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 13:57

They have announced that the race has been moved up to 1:01eastern. That is a whole 15 minutes. IMHO you can take it as a lack of faith that they will get the race in.

grack



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#40 John B

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 16:15

Just heard a meterologist on the race radio broadcast, said 40% chance of the race today probably starting around 4:00 best-case. A second night race at Bristol this year?


Edited by John B, 16 March 2014 - 16:16.


#41 TimRTC

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 16:27

Somebody wake me when the racing starts... stayed up watching yellow flags at Sebring :stoned:



#42 RuleyRamundo

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 16:32

#24 will enter the chase today, come on Jeffery Michael Gordon lets do this 4-time.


Edited by RuleyRamundo, 16 March 2014 - 16:32.


#43 Ross Stonefeld

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 17:13

Whatever



#44 LuckyStrike1

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 17:23

Why not just call the race for tomorrow as there will not be a race today anyway .... 



#45 Option1

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 17:39

Geeezz, Kurt almost sounds sane in this interview.

 

Neil



#46 Prost1997T

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 18:08

...it'll be the only time even the best non-Cup affiliated Nationwide guys will get to Sprint Cup as well. 

 

You need to pay better attention to the entry lists. No less than 8 rookies in Cup. The Nationwide field has 7, with some one-offs (Ryan Blaney at Penske, Drew Herring at Gibbs, Cale Conley for RCR, etc).



#47 Ross Stonefeld

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 18:39

Good anthem.

 

Though I still say the drivers should take off their shades. Especially when it's overcast...



#48 shotcaller

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 18:40

So Carl's mother still follows him to races?



#49 Richard T

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 18:41

Almost shivers!
Finally I know the anthem from start to finish! Just took me 3 seasons of NASCAR :D

#50 jonpollak

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 18:44

Theyza gittin in ze carz now
Jp