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NASCAR; Round #5 - Auto Club 400, or how Fontana means two things to me: Will Power and how Logano is such a ....


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#1 OvDrone

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 16:19

Yea, it's a bit early in the week with Bristol ending just 13 or so hours ago but I'm in a rather rotten mood today and I need to do something to distract myself by making this here thread. So gents and gentettes, I bring you some laps at Fontana in the Spring:

 

auto-club.jpg

 

*fighter jets have been released from Nellis Air Force Base to intercept an unidentified flying object in the shape of Kyle Busch's ego.

 

Where is this Fontana thingway?

 

Well somewhere in SoCal and in my mind in a magical place with Laguna Seca and Sonoma all close together forming an esoteric triangle of North American racing heritage.

 

I always thought that Fontana is in Florida. Weird.

 

Schedule? Yea, I guess you can have that. For now.

 

SATURDAY, MARCH 22

 

Nationwide? Yea, who cares.

 

SUNDAY, MARCH 23

5:00 a.m. Parking Lots Open 7:00 a.m. O'Reilly Auto Parts Fan Zone Gates Open to Ticket Holders  8:10 a.m.  Metal Mulisha Freestyle MotoX (east of main stage)  8:30 a.m.  Enjambre performance (main stage)  9:00 a.m.  Lucha Libre Wrestling Exhibition (Viva La Fiesta – near sections 50/60) 9:30 a.m.  Mariachi performance (Viva La Fiesta Stage - near sections 50/60)  9:35 a.m.  Metal Mulisha Freestyle MotoX (east of main stage) 10:00 a.m.  Billy Ray Cyrus performance (main stage)  10:00 a.m. Lucha Libre Wrestling Exhibition (Viva La Fiesta – near sections 50/60) 10:55 a.m. Metal Mulisha Freestyle MotoX (east of main stage) 11:25 a.m.  NSCS Driver Introductions - Security Clears Pit Road 12:00 p.m.  Auto Club 400 NSCS Race

 
Schedule is tentative and subject to change.

 

Track looks like:

 

fontana2.jpg

 

or

 

calspeedinteriortrack.jpg

 

You get to pick, I'll just post the most relevant segment of the track:

 

auto-club-speedway-5165.jpg

 

The rest are just some turns numbered #1, #2, #3 and #4 respectively and as far as I know, the Start / Finish straight(?) is where the winner wins, so the rest is null and drivel.

 

The 'drivers':

 

He won Round #4:

 

NASCAR-Talladega-2009-Carl-Edwards-729x4

 

He won Round #3:

 

Keselowski.jpg

 

He won Round #2:

 

78d6d5640a6ba10ef09a28544b4de1ec.jpg

 

He won Round #1:

 

Dale-Earnhardt-Jr-NASCAR-10.jpg

 

He won something grossly irrelevant:

 

Denny-Hamlin.jpg

 

She won our hearts:

 

danica1_0c3ba697fda35b27a36e35cd5640d63c

 

The rest are non-important as up until Sunday, the twenty-third day of the third month of the year of Our Lord Sebastien Vettel MMXIV.

 

Memories from Fontanas of the past:

 

 

The heartbreak.

 

 

The kiwibreak.

 

I guess you can say that I do miss them Indys. *sigh* Let's not get into the emotional cesspool that is other form of Motorsport and focus on the boogeddies.

 

 

#icryeverytime.

 

I think it's fair to say that you can avoid saying hello and make eye contact with the likes of the Loganos of the world without it being perceived as some form of antisocial behavior.

 

580530_524358324273606_700892488_n.png

 

Kyle rendered our souls last year with his quite charismatic win here and I truly Hope to do the same just so that Del can switch that mind disemboweling avatar of his. I have not slept since he changed it.

 

FUN FAST FACTS ABOUT FONTANA:

 

Fontana Fact #1706: The scene depicting a steel mill in the movie β€œThe Terminator 2” was filmed in an abandoned mill in this city.

 

terminator-2-judgement-day-lava.JPG

 

They call him 'Newman'.

 

Fontana Fact #659: The founding charter of the Hells Angels was drafted in Fontana in 1948.

 

hells-angels.jpg

 

Stenhouse is the one near the motorbike.

 

Fontana Fact #8003: There is a larger ratio of male residents to that of female residents in this city than there are in most of the surrounding cities.

 

23aussiebbq_t460.jpg

 

Michael Waltrip's Eden.

 

And if some of you dudes / dudettes want to venture to this illustrious part of the Western Hemisphere, why not try this:

 

0019255901_adv.jpg

 

Puppies, the only thing Kvapil didn't punch. Yet.

 

I swear to Dionysus, if it rains again, I will shank someone.

 

NASCAR%20Fontana%20Fall%20O_Newm-3.jpg

 

That's it. Unfortunately the week is looking long and grueling but I am eagerly anticipating MotoGP... erm, the Nascars. 'till then hang tight and survive, punch your troubles in the gut and sacrifice an eye for knowledge and hindsight. I know I will, with the help of Earl Grey, Hemingway, a lot of black metal, the Spring Equinox and some dudettes I meet along the way. The full moon is up gents and it is time to flesh out the weak and cement your strengths. The strong shall inherit the earth. God luck and good speed.

 

ea02x_0542.jpg



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#2 TimRTC

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 16:40

Nice OP, very informative.

 

So long as it doesn't rain and I can stay awake through the cautions, I will be watching this one.



#3 Option1

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 16:45

And there I was part way through reading, thinking "oh no he's forgotten the cat!"  But you didn't disappoint.  Well done that man.  :up: :up:

 

Neil



#4 HaydenFan

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 16:47

Actually, the land where Fontucky Speedway rests is the site of the steel mill used in the Terminator 2 film. And might I add, that was the last good movie in that franchise. Love Claire Danes and Christian Bale, but dang those movies sucked. 

 

Being from Michigan, and seeing Michigan International Speedway as one of the greatest ovals on the planet, I have a small spot in my heart for this flatter clone. Bit more challenging, and a good place to add the race (keeps the tempers ignited at Bristol burning longer due to the speeds at the track). 



#5 PayasYouRace

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 16:51

 

Where is this Fontana thingway?

 

...

She won our hearts:

 

danica1_0c3ba697fda35b27a36e35cd5640d63c

 

 

About an hour's drive from Long Beach apparently.

 

Edit: Seen it now. I was expecting something funnier.


Edited by PayasYouRace, 18 March 2014 - 08:54.


#6 Deluxx

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 16:53

Nice op!

 

I didn't know that Terminator fact, actually.

 

Love the grip at fontana.



#7 Ross Stonefeld

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 16:57

A few 'tings.

 

1. Race start is 3:18est according to Our Lord and Saviour Jayski. 

 

2. That mountain shot is dope.

 

3. Marty Smith offends the hell out of me, intellectually.



#8 Richard T

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 17:02

Does the yanks usually put on a good race here? 

 

That track just turn and turn and turn...  :stoned:



#9 dweller23

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 17:46

About an hour's drive from Long Beach apparently.

 

That pic isn't loading for me. What am I missing out on? :well:

Literally nothing.



#10 Prost1997T

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 17:47

Does the yanks usually put on a good race here? 

 

That track just turn and turn and turn...  :stoned:

 

Jacques Villeneuve, Kimi Raikkonen and Juan Pablo Montoya didnt find it as straightforward.  ;)

 

Here's Raikkonen's attempt at Nascar in its second tier series: www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ttucAc0Vv0


Edited by Prost1997T, 17 March 2014 - 17:48.


#11 Richard T

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 17:54

Jacques Villeneuve, Kimi Raikkonen and Juan Pablo Montoya didnt find it as straightforward.  ;)

 

Here's Raikkonen's attempt at Nascar in its second tier series: www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ttucAc0Vv0

 

Haha no what i meant is that the start/finish straight isn't straight anywere at all  :lol:  Not like the usual D-oval.  What is this track type called?



#12 Ross Stonefeld

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 18:07

It's pretty much a copy of Michigan with slightly different banking.

 

And like all the D-shaped ovals, the front straight isn't a corner at all. It's completely flat out for any kind of race car.



#13 Option1

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 18:19

A few 'tings.

 

1. ...

 

2. That mountain shot is dope.

 

3....

Damn, I'd skipped quickly over that shot.  You're right, it is a superb shot by any standard.  Then again Mark Rebilas is a shithot shooter.



#14 paulb

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 18:31

About an hour's drive from Long Beach apparently.

 

That pic isn't loading for me. What am I missing out on? :well:

With no traffic and if you exceed the posted speed limits, you can make it in an hour.

 

You are missing princess apocalypse herself.



#15 Red17

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 18:33


I swear to Dionysus, if it rains again, I will shank someone.

 


 

 

Worry not, it only rains in the threads crated by Red17.

 

Oh... by the way...

 

caljsiol_sio1ca175_011_006.gif



#16 Atreiu

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 19:36

Whose heart did she win?

 

Isn't Fontana where the field stretches out evenly and the races become dull? I don't feel any compelled to watch it.

 

Go Johnson.



#17 Ross Stonefeld

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 20:47

Apparently my trolling during Vegas was a thought shared by many.

 

http://www.reddit.co...e_nascar_style/



#18 Andrew Hope

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 21:00

If there was a guy who should be sponsored by Dogecoin it's Josh Wise.

 

Well actually it's Landon Cassill but Josh Wise needs it more.


Edited by Andrew Hope, 17 March 2014 - 21:00.


#19 Dmitriy_Guller

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 21:01

I dislike Logano, but blaming him for the Hamlin wreck is unfair.  They had a minor racing incident, until Hamlin decided to wreck Logano, and got a lot more than he bargained for.  Danny really got hoisted by his own petard there.



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#20 John B

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 22:45

Is it odd that the schedule goes from Vegas to Bristol back west to CA, or does it not really matter with shuttling the cars to the shops and back?



#21 jonpollak

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 23:07

"Anyone up for a doobster?"

NqaTO0u.jpg

 

Crew bus, a perfect hiding place :lol:

Jp



#22 paulb

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 02:00

I googled "Fontana Ambience" and got this, Chalet Fontana.  Long drive and wet from the track to switzerland.

 

117461.jpg



#23 OvDrone

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 02:13

I dislike Logano, but blaming him for the Hamlin wreck is unfair.  They had a minor racing incident, until Hamlin decided to wreck Logano, and got a lot more than he bargained for.  Danny really got hoisted by his own petard there.

 

Please do not get in the way of my unreasonable dislike of the 'man' they call J.Log.



#24 Andrew Hope

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 02:15

What, are we suddenly supposed to have reasons before hating things? That's very un-American to suggest such a thing.



#25 OvDrone

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 02:24

Is it odd that the schedule goes from Vegas to Bristol back west to CA, or does it not really matter with shuttling the cars to the shops and back?

 

It always seemed odd to me the Monaco - Canada - England thing F1 had going.

 

Whose heart did she win?

 

Mine. Do you guys have such short attention spans as to forget that epic Motegi win and the Doom-Shoe of Montreal?

 

Literally nothing.

 

That's what Richard Petty calls her.

 

What am I missing out on? :well:

 

Our matriarchal queen. Basically this, in GoDaddy trim:

 

VenusdeMilo.jpg



#26 Andrew Hope

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 02:30

Screw the King. I wanna see Danica race a topless statue with no arms and marble titties.



#27 OvDrone

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 02:33

She would probably be three laps down on the statue.



#28 whitewaterMkII

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 02:38

Two more Fontana facts:

 

RIP Greg Moore, one of the toughest days I've ever been at a race.

 

Gil de Ferran ran a lap there in CART at 241.428 to take the pole. That's a lap in 30 seconds. Word was that they were hitting trap speeds in excess of 255 on the backstretch. Yikes!



#29 OvDrone

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 02:44

Thank you for that MkII, I completely forgot. Whenever I see the #99 on Lorenzo and Edwards (and not Sutil) I get his vibe. I remember being ten or eleven years old and seeing the shunt. I stood there, speechless. Greg is currently with Ascari, Katoh, Dale and the others living the dream on the great, big circuit in the sky.

 

moore2cl.jpg


Edited by OvDrone, 18 March 2014 - 02:46.


#30 whitewaterMkII

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 04:30

Is it odd that the schedule goes from Vegas to Bristol back west to CA, or does it not really matter with shuttling the cars to the shops and back?

No, not really. Short track chassis are totally different than the mile and a half cars. Most, if not all NASCAR teams run two or more car carrier rigs, so while one rig is running home from Vegas, the other rig is on it's way to Bristol.

I believe the standard arsenal for NASCAR is in the range of 15-20 new chassis per year per driver.



#31 SR388

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 07:21

Good thread op. Tight and to the point.

Edited by SR388, 18 March 2014 - 07:54.


#32 PayasYouRace

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 08:58

Dont worry SR! We're always here.



#33 OvDrone

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 13:56

Good thread op. Tight and to the point.

 

Thanks. It's how I like my gin and sex.



#34 Richard T

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 14:04

Oh I remember now!!! the Danney Hamgano incident...

 



#35 Andrew Hope

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 14:55

Thank you for that MkII, I completely forgot. Whenever I see the #99 on Lorenzo and Edwards (and not Sutil) I get his vibe. I remember being ten or eleven years old and seeing the shunt. I stood there, speechless. Greg is currently with Ascari, Katoh, Dale and the others living the dream on the great, big circuit in the sky.

 

moore2cl.jpg

 

That's where the red gloves came from.

 

indycar-indy-500-auto-rotzjpg-3c75f55e26



#36 OvDrone

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 14:58

Yup, I know. And seeing that James has a blue livery this year, things will look pretty nostalgic.



#37 John B

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 23:19

The roots of the Hamlin-Logano feud went back to their days as teammates at Gibbs, from what I've read rooted in Hamlin being upset at being raced hard. Based on the fact that it took all of one race after JL left to get ugly in public (the Twitter bickering at Daytona last year) followed shortly by the Bristol-Fontana incidents it may have been deeper than let on. Ironic that Kyle took advantage of the fallout related to his team.

 

This year also may have some Gibbs/Logano intrigue for a different reason, considering Kenseth's recent comments on Penske's advantage working with McDowell team testing ("sour grapes
per McDowell)



#38 paulb

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 15:22

bump ...... literally.

 

NASCARbabes-300x200.gif



#39 Deluxx

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 15:52

Saw this tshirt at a local store. Should have picked it up, but it was kinda weird.

 

tXpZvKHl.jpg


Edited by Deluxx, 21 March 2014 - 15:52.


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#40 Andrew Hope

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 15:57

Who's watching the Rubmyclit.com 300 tomorrow?



#41 jonpollak

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 17:00

Dis Bitch ain't

 

Jp



#42 Ross Stonefeld

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 17:37

When someone in a beauty/promotional role steps down for 'personal reasons' you wonder if the answer won't turn up on Reddit.


Edited by Ross Stonefeld, 21 March 2014 - 17:38.


#43 Jim Thurman

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 18:00

First, good OP OvDrone.  You've hit most of the pertinent Fontana facts  :up:  The high school teams are still known as the Steelers.

 


2. That mountain shot is dope.

 

 

 

Yeah, it is. And I used to see those every day as a kid nearby.  Well, I did when they were visible since the end product of the belching smokestacks from the Kaiser Steel mill often obscured them (I remember one afternoon when all the streetlights came on at 4PM). Then again, I didn't appreciate them as much, since I was 7 years old, walking to school in a ditch (sometimes muddy) along a two-lane road while trying to dodge falling chunks of eucalyptus bark.

 

Sometimes nostalgia isn't all it's cracked up to be.



#44 Jim Thurman

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 18:04

When someone in a beauty/promotional role steps down for 'personal reasons' you wonder if the answer won't turn up on Reddit.

 

...or Redtube?

 

Perhaps she's been dating a driver for months on the sly...allegedly.  Perhaps said driver is facing rumors about his sexuality and she must resign because of this conflict to provide a convincing back story and to make the rumors end.

 

Hey, it's happened before  ;)


Edited by Jim Thurman, 21 March 2014 - 18:57.


#45 Andrew Hope

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 18:08

What was her job? Stand in victory lane and smile?



#46 Red17

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 19:21

What was her job? Stand in victory lane and smile?

 

Tony_Stewart_Indianapolis_Motor_Speedway



#47 shotcaller

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 19:23

...Perhaps she's been dating a driver for months on the sly...allegedly.  

That's what I figured. There was probably a no fraternization clause in her contract. Sort of like George Hincapie's wife being some sort of trophy girl for the Tour de France and them sneaking around.



#48 Deluxx

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Posted 22 March 2014 - 00:27

What was her job? Stand in victory lane and smile?

 

Social media too I think.



#49 shotcaller

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Posted 22 March 2014 - 00:52

Hope this season bodes better for Ambrose than 2013.



#50 SR388

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Posted 22 March 2014 - 01:51

My TENNESSEE VOLS are doing great work. Hopefully Jeff Gordon can do the same on Sunday!!