Round 4 of 19: 2014 F1 UBS Chinese Grand Prix
Ni-hao comrades! Would you believe that the Chinese Grand Prix has been on the calendar for a whole decade? It is fast becoming a “historic” round thanks to it's pioneering of the slow corners and long straights we have all come to adore in modern F1. It’s Tilke, but with Chinese characteristics. Take a look for yourself:
Number of Laps: 56.
Circuit Length: 5.451 km.
Race Distance: 305.066 km.
Lap Record: 1:32.238 (M Schumacher, 2004).
Where have I seen that sheh-shape before?
Ai Weiwei to go Hermann!
What is this, Miami Beach? Not hardly!
Friday: cloudy with highs of 18°C, lows of 14°C and north-easterly winds.
Saturday: rain with highs of 16°C, lows of 14°C and easterly winds.
Sunday: cloudy with highs of 17°C, lows of 12°C and north-easterly winds.
Way Back Wen Jiabao
2004: The first start.
2005: Schumacher and Albers collide on the parade lap.
2006: Satooooooooooo (and Schumacher's final victory).
2007: Hamilton runs out of Peking luck.
2010: Buemi steers a car with no front wheels.
2011: Button gets lost in the pits.
2012: Rosberg's first victory.
J.K Disgrace, what's the story of the season so far?
Whitmarsh is gone! Domenicali is gone! Red Bull’s appeal is gone! Now that ~90% of the forum have had all of their Christmases come at once, could it be that we can concentrate on the racing? Well bromies, you’re in for a long season if you’re not driving a Mercedes. We’ve had an average race, a boring race and a thrilling race, and the W05 has them all covered! But wait, there’s more! That’s right - we've got a juicy intra-team battle for the championship, the only difference being Hamilton's the village idiot and Nico's a brain surgeon Hamilton's DNF in Australia.
There's even more to be excited about in Magnussen (known by gangstas as K-Mag) and Kvyat (known by David Croft as Fiat). With four points scores between them already, either rookie is bound to impress this weekend. Bahrain also livened up the intra-team rivalries down the grid with Perez, Ricciardo and Massa getting one back on their team-mates. But who is looking down in the dumplings this weekend? di Montezemolo may do well to avoid seeing his cars do their best impression of a Terracotta statue down the long back and front straights. Sauber and Lotus likewise will be hoping just to finish this yuan.
The big story of the weekend: can Rosberg get a Han-dle on Hamilton at one of his strongest circuits? Or can Hamilton spring onion a surprise?
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Hulkenberg is third in the championship!
Vettel hasn’t actually won a race yet!
Williams have scored 600% more points in the first three races than in the whole of 2013! Ca-Qing!
DJ Disgrace, do you know of other tunes with either China or Chinese in the title? Why sure I Du Xigui!
Do you like Bowie? Coldplay? Trip Hop? Silly amounts of reverb?
PI Disgrace, have they found the missing plane yet?
Nope.
Then let's go!
Edited by Disgrace, 20 April 2014 - 02:53.