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D.S.Q. (Drivers' Stupid Quotes)


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#1 4MEN

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Posted 25 May 2014 - 22:22

Discuss here those quotes that drivers spit, journalists love and fans endlessly discuss.

They don't need just to be stupid. Embarrassing, silly, funny or bad taste ones are also welcome.  

 

Please, try to write the quotes as literal as you can (and in italics if you can so it's easier to spot).

 

My thread starter is one of Hamilton on the radio at the Monaco GP.

 

Hamilton's race engineer tells him the distance with Ricciardo is 8 seconds with 10 laps to go. Hamilton answers:

 

"I don't care about Ricciardo. I want to know the gap between me and Nico!"

Well, he should care.

 

Anyone has the quote of Alonso on his 12 points over Kimi?

That's one to keep here!



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#2 TomNokoe

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Posted 25 May 2014 - 22:23

Think we should DSQ this thread!

#3 Crossmax

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Posted 25 May 2014 - 22:29

Think we should DSQ this thread!

Why? I think the OP is dead on with Hamilton's quote for a start, and there are probably a lot of other quotes from various drivers that could be posted here. 



#4 fisssssi

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Posted 25 May 2014 - 22:30

That radio message from Lewis made me really sad watching the race :(

 

It was a bit like the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.



#5 JHSingo

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Posted 25 May 2014 - 22:31

I think you could have a field day with most the stuff Hamilton (and possibly even Alonso) come out with. Great drivers, but rather let themselves down every time they open their gobs though.



#6 4MEN

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Posted 25 May 2014 - 22:32

Think we should DSQ this thread!

Don't you think it's better a silly thread with all the silly quotes than a lot of silly threads for every quote?  :rolleyes:

 

Edit. The good thing is that this thread isn't pro or against anyone in particular. Everybody (drivers, team principals, journos...) has its "brainfade" day sooner or later. The only (top) driver I don't expect to see here (with a bad quote) is Ricciardo. He gets his job done and doesn't look to spend a lot of time with bullshit comments. In the other side, Hamilton, Alonso, Lauda...  may be a regulars here.


Edited by 4MEN, 25 May 2014 - 22:37.


#7 Zava

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Posted 25 May 2014 - 22:33

Discuss here those quotes that drivers spit, journalists love and fans endlessly discuss.

They don't need just to be stupid. Embarrassing, silly, funny or bad taste ones are also welcome.  

 

Please, try to write the quotes as literal as you can (and in italics if you can so it's easier to spot).

 

My thread starter is one of Hamilton on the radio at the Monaco GP.

 

Hamilton's race engineer tells him the distance with Ricciardo is 8 seconds with 10 laps to go. Hamilton answers:

 

"I don't care about Ricciardo. I want to know the gap between me and Nico!"

Well, he should care.

 

Anyone has the quote of Alonso on his 12 points over Kimi?

That's one to keep here!

I'm told that's the one:

 

"We are doing things well and scored 12 points more than my teammate"..



#8 4MEN

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Posted 25 May 2014 - 22:40

I'm told that's the one:

 

"We are doing things well and scored 12 points more than my teammate"..

That's a one liner a psychologist would love to analyze. Sadness, insecurity, fear...



#9 Jejking

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Posted 25 May 2014 - 22:48

Geez, did he really say that? Man. Alonso's ego is limitless.



#10 Lights

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Posted 25 May 2014 - 23:53

Poorly translated out of Spanish, we can expect many Alonso "quotes" in here.

#11 Skinnyguy

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Posted 26 May 2014 - 00:48

Poorly translated out of Spanish, we can expect many Alonso "quotes" in here.


I know where this comes from but you're wrong, it wasn't a bad translation: he DID say he was not fighting Vettel but Newey in Spanish.

#12 Atreiu

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Posted 26 May 2014 - 03:45

6 tenths.

 

/thread



#13 herra47

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Posted 26 May 2014 - 04:44

6 tenths.

 

/thread

Yeah It's more like 8 tenths...



#14 kosmos

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Posted 26 May 2014 - 04:54

I'm told that's the one:

 

"We are doing things well and scored 12 points more than my teammate"..

 

 

Wrong.

 

Sigo tercero en el campeonato, le he sacado más ventaja a Vettel, le he sacado otros doce puntos a mi compañero…

 

I'm still third in the championship, I have taken more advantage over Vettel, and another 12 points over my teammate.

 

 

Now that you have the facts, twist at will.



#15 garagetinkerer

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Posted 26 May 2014 - 04:55

I think this is a good idea for a thread where we can all see our heroes in more of a human light...  but as well intended OP's intentions may be, some may not like what is said, but that is life.

 

I know where this comes from but you're wrong, it wasn't a bad translation: he DID say he was not fighting Vettel but Newey in Spanish.

He wasn't the only driver who said this... that apart, i was quite disgusted by that comment at the time, and at the same time i couldn't help but laugh. It so ended that even though i'm a tfoso, i was rooting for Vettel to win the WDC.

 

Erm, there's one from Hamilton last year where he said he wouldn't like to win as easily as Vettel, Could someone quote that please? At the least there can be no confusion as there's nothing being translated from Spanish :p

 

There's one from Vettel at Sepang last year... where he mentioned that he didn't hear message from team :rotfl: still makes me laugh... can someone quote it too?

 

Raikkonen, "i was having a sh*t!" You can't make this up :rotfl:



#16 garagetinkerer

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Posted 26 May 2014 - 04:58

I think you could have a field day with most the stuff Hamilton (and possibly even Alonso) come out with. Great drivers, but rather let themselves down every time they open their gobs though.

You would think that having a coach, a PR rep and a psychologist will help them make better decisions... but some of the things the duo say, absolutely priceless.



#17 alfa1

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Posted 26 May 2014 - 06:23

Edit. The good thing is that this thread isn't pro or against anyone in particular.

 

Not in particular, no. But its a thread that invites:

"think of a driver you dont like, and tell everyone how stupid he is."



#18 BRG

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Posted 26 May 2014 - 11:31

Let's just say "Anything that Nigel Mansell ever said" and end the thread.

#19 Longtimefan

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Posted 26 May 2014 - 11:47

Let's just say "Anything that Nigel Mansell ever said" and end the thread.

 

haha :rotfl:



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#20 P123

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Posted 26 May 2014 - 11:49

You could take issue with things that most of the drivers say, if you are that way inclined.  In the end all this topic will attract will be the moaners and bashers of particular drivers, crying over what they said. 



#21 Jimisgod

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Posted 26 May 2014 - 13:09

Montoya and his broken head.

#22 Jon83

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Posted 26 May 2014 - 13:11

Barrichello on team radio calling for Petrov to be given a penalty in China (?2011) during qualifying because his car broke down.

 

One of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard!



#23 superdelphinus

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Posted 26 May 2014 - 13:17

My favourite from this weekend was Vettel's final one. (paraphrased for effect) "For F%*£'s sake guys sort this f^&$*(g piece of s"£$t c..... (realised it's an open broadcast) erm I mean i'm sure you're doing your best and will sort it out in the end"

 

classic



#24 Jon83

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Posted 26 May 2014 - 13:21

My favourite from this weekend was Vettel's final one. (paraphrased for effect) "For F%*£'s sake guys sort this f^&$*(g piece of s"£$t c..... (realised it's an open broadcast) erm I mean i'm sure you're doing your best and will sort it out in the end"

 

classic

 

That was funny



#25 grichka

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Posted 26 May 2014 - 13:27

That was funny

Yes it was, it looked like he was going to add his standard "Do something!" but suddenly changed his mind :)



#26 4MEN

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Posted 01 June 2014 - 19:03

http://www.canalplus...tml?vid=1041019

 

07:40

"Do something, I have no power!"

"That's ridiculous guys"

 

I was a bit surprised with Vettel's complains on the radio in Monaco. But after re-watching the Australian GP I agree with him: "that's ridiculous, guys"



#27 scheivlak

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Posted 01 June 2014 - 19:25

6 tenths.

 

/thread

Full quote (august 2007): “When I arrived in December, I remember the car I drove; I remember the results they had in 2006. And now, you know, I brought to the team half a second, six tenths, whatever, and I don't see anything giving me back."

 

To be found - with other memorable quotes from that season- in http://www.autosport...cle.php/id/1360 



#28 4MEN

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Posted 01 June 2014 - 19:54

Another Fernando-related quote

sniffpetrol4.jpg



#29 jestaudio

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Posted 01 June 2014 - 21:47

Could we amend this to include commentators as well, god bless him but Murray Walker could provide hours of entertainment :lol:



#30 bourbon

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 07:11

My favourite from this weekend was Vettel's final one. (paraphrased for effect) "For F%*£'s sake guys sort this f^&$*(g piece of s"£$t c..... (realised it's an open broadcast) erm I mean i'm sure you're doing your best and will sort it out in the end"

 

classic

 

He said "oh come on guys-"..."I know you are doing your best"

 

You didn't paraphrase, you wrote what many of his fans were actually thinking!

 

 

 

My Vettel favorite was:  "As in real life, there are a few cucumbers on the road,"   :lol:


Edited by bourbon, 02 June 2014 - 07:12.


#31 sheepgobba

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 07:36

'How the **** is Mark ahead' Hungry 2010

 

Think that was after the drive through... not too sure though! 



#32 DarthWillie

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 08:59

This year I will challenge for the championship , David Coulthard, pre season for practically his whole career. A pre season was not complete without it

#33 kenkip

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 09:08

Great thread.My only issue is the drivers who speak English as a first language are at a disadvantage because their fans cannot claim misinterpretion!

 

My favorite is Kimi in Australia 2012 when he was screaming at his engineer that he was getting blue flags while infact they were for cars ahead of him!I mean come on Kimi,it was your first race back and we know you couldnt be bothered reading regulations but surely atleast know your flags? :rotfl:



#34 ollebompa

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 09:39

I would not classify any of the given quotes so far as stupid. Funny would suit better. In the end they are just people and I bet if any of us where followed by journalists weekend after weekend we would not sound that good all the time.

My favourite is also a Seb Vettel one: I was observetating.

That's funny!

Edited by ollebompa, 02 June 2014 - 09:44.


#35 DampMongoose

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 10:08

Montoya at Spa...

 

"F**king Raikkonen! What a f**cking idiot!"

 

 

Sir Stirling Moss on being portrayed in a film...

 

“I hope the actor would be masculine – not a poofter or anything like that."

 

 

Alan Jones responding to Carlos Reuteman's wish to 'bury the hatchet'...

 

"Yeah , in your back!" 



#36 DampMongoose

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 10:43

"The problem with Lewis is that it's always someone's fault," Brundle said.



#37 Kristian

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 10:48

JPM in Austria practice: 

 

“Juan, in this lap please, we’ve seen a deer… we believe it’s somewhere on the circuit, so come in cautiously, please”
“Oh, dear!”
“Yeah, a deer… it’s like a horse with horns”
“I know, I know… oh dear!”



#38 4MEN

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 11:12

I would not classify any of the given quotes so far as stupid. Funny would suit better. In the end they are just people and I bet if any of us where followed by journalists weekend after weekend we would not sound that good all the time.

My favourite is also a Seb Vettel one: I was observetating.

That's funny!

This Topic is the Stupid Question Thread sister  :p



#39 ollebompa

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 11:55

This Topic is the Stupid Question Thread sister :p


Yeah, I figured that much :p. I'll take stupid=funny for this one!

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#40 scheivlak

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 12:10

Rubens Barrichello "I'm struggling like a pig" (or as some hear: "I'm struggling like a bitch")

 

https://www.youtube....h?v=B59B5p7KrrM


Edited by scheivlak, 02 June 2014 - 12:10.


#41 discover23

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 12:21

“I can show you some pictures, I don't know if you're blind, but I can clearly show you my front wing is next to your front wing,” Jarno Trulli

#42 ollebompa

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 12:30

Rubens Barrichello "I'm struggling like a pig" (or as some hear: "I'm struggling like a bitch")

https://www.youtube....h?v=B59B5p7KrrM


Which raises the question: Do bitches really struggle? Maybe someone with experience in that feild can shed some light on the matter.

#43 Spillage

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 13:32

This year I will challenge for the championship , David Coulthard, pre season for practically his whole career. A pre season was not complete without it

I always thought this was a bit of an urban legend. I heard it mentioned many times and heard lots of other people saying this particular year will be his year, but never saw or heard such a quote attributed to DC himself.

One of my favourites - although it isn't really stupid - is Raikkonen's dismissal of a question about what his helmet means to him: 'it protects my head.'

#44 Lotus53B

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 15:00

Not really a stupid quote either, but Mika Hakkinen, when asked "what were your tyres like" replied "Round and black"

#45 ollebompa

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 15:28

I'd like to nominate Fernandos you have to leave the space, all the time you have to leave the space.

 

And to spice it up I'll add Sebs very funny impersonation.

 



#46 RonnyRonny

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 15:42

When jenson sang "we are the champions my friend" in the key of strangled cat.

#47 artista

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 15:58

Great thread.My only issue is the drivers who speak English as a first language are at a disadvantage because their fans cannot claim misinterpretion!

 

My favorite is Kimi in Australia 2012 when he was screaming at his engineer that he was getting blue flags while infact they were for cars ahead of him!I mean come on Kimi,it was your first race back and we know you couldnt be bothered reading regulations but surely atleast know your flags? :rotfl:

 

wasn't it cleared after the race that the poor guy was actually right? there was a glitch, and he was getting blue flags in his display when he shouldn't. If I remember correctly, Button was leading the race and also got them (which meant he made a few jokes about it too) :lol:

 

-------------------------

 

Back on topic: I can think of many more stupid questions to drivers than stupid quotes from drivers, to be fair.



#48 jestaudio

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 16:06

When jenson sang "we are the champions my friend" in the key of strangled cat.

Don't be nasty to strangled cats, sound more like someone with their nuts in a vice that was being tightened, i,m sure i've heard worse, just can't remember where



#49 MeatPopsicle

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 19:02

Not stupid but funny as hell...

 

 



#50 ballow

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 19:09

Button: - I'm still only 10 points off the lead, and that's Alonso in a Ferrari. That's not the worry,"