We are back at the famous A1, ahem, Red bull Ring. After that highly intense race at Montreal, if you feel your heart can't take anymore then I suggest you see your GP before attempting to watch this one. Don't want folks passing out with fingers stuck on the A key( AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....AAAAAAAAA).
For majority of the drivers, this will be their first visit to this track, so it will be interesting to see how they get on. Lewis Hamilton, who has never raced here already makes it clear that he will learn the track using the simulator.
Renault trolls Mercedes
After trolling Mercedes at Montreal, Renault will want to carry that over to Austria. After figuring out why the Mercedes engine has so much grunt, the guys at Renault realized that it was all about the beans. Therefore a special version of french beans (Haricot de Taffin) was developed to match the Heinz that powers the Mercedes. Yay! It worked!. Both teams later took to twitter to start some sh*t but it seemed to die off just as quickly as it started. For the benefit of nosy fans here is an excerpt of the comments on social media;
@MercIsanAwesomeBeast: Great race shame for the reliability
@RenaultNowAtfullPower: Sorry guys but your run had to end
@MercIsanAwesomeBeast: Yeah, but can you smell what the Merc is cooking?
That final word from Renault ended the banter.
The track is old-fashioned, which means you get punished by the track rather than the stewards for going off-track. So no chicanery at this track am afraid.
From the final corner and onto the pit straight the track compresses and undulates giving it a SPAlicious feeling. The run off areas are less forgiving and you loose time rather than going off track and staying ahead.
How long for ferrari and/or Mclaren?
Mclaren and ferrari seem to be struggling with an eternal lack of design creativity. They both seem promising at the start of the season but are now losing ground to the leading teams. With the rules unchanged for next season this could be a long and hard episode for both teams. Meanwhile Force India are ROFL and scoring more points than they could ever have imagined. Austria is another track with long straights and some challenging corners, therefore it could be another struggle for these old warhorses.
I have a two point plan for a Ferrari revival:
1.Gain over 0.5s just by firing Luca di Montezemolo,
2.Retrieve the 0.6s Alonso insists he is hiding in his pocket before he takes it back to Mclaren and there is the gap to Mercedes sorted. Simples!
That Sh*t Cray
Can Rosberg make it 3 in a row?. I don't mean wins, duh, I meant flirting with the stewards. Yellow flags at Monaco and the chicanery( Both incidents a cause of vicious debate and endless trolling in the forums) at Montreal, Is there anything this guy can't get away with? Murder?.
The fastest lap around this awesome track is currently held by the great Michael Shoemaker, sorry, Schumacher,(keep pushing)....1'08.337. What kind of lap-time can the current hybrid V6s achieve?.
Here is Kimi Raikkonen on-board the ring. Non 144 pixels version
Can you predict it
In the last race, I told fans I had a direct line to Hamilton for those who would like to advise him about his banker laps. I am pleased to inform you that I now have the direct line to an East Asian Witch doctor his name?............ Nostradamus. By gazing into a massive bowl of cool water, Nostra, as I like to call him, is able to tell you everything you need to know about the future. Lap times, Pit-stop times and for a small token he can do the ultimate Rain dance. This is like a cheat code for the betting threads. The number is......0123456789-9876543210. For some reason he requires every caller to stroke his/her crotch gently, for as long as the call takes.
Are you not entertained?
A couple of years ago I thought formula 1 was like a ballerina with a bunch of pansies leaning on the exhaust for extra suction, Fast forward to last weekend and I must say it looks more like the white version of Boyz n' d Hood. Complete with dangerous drive-bys and drivers getting sucker punched into the barriers. The carbon fibre on the Marrusias, which by the way, is about as tough as the fabric that my Nan knits with, gave the race a nice dust of fun.
I need a Dollar
If I had a dollar for every single time some forumer claims to have a relative that works for a certain F1 team, I'd be a........., well you get the message. So here is my own story......the mother of my Sister's friend who lives next to the guy who married the neighbour of his aunty's sister who is a friend of the guy who is Toto's personal trainer tells me all the tips I share on the forums. Do you believe me now?
With long straights and mostly non-asphalt run-offs this will be one hell of a race. Overtaking should be possible and lock-ups could be costly. Red bull with those extra beans could be close to the Mercedes here making it an exciting race and with this being their home race, they will be motivated to put on a good show.. So without further ado i introduce the Austrian GP. See you later MOFOs.
Edited by AlmightyGod, 10 June 2014 - 21:53.