Juan Montoya Racing League Round 12 of 18: Iowa Corn 300
It's time for another Indycar race! This one is approximately two days in the future. It's held in Iowa, home of corn, Heartland America and the greatest President of the 1920s, Herbert Hoover. Iowa also has two fabulous racetracks, but one of them is covered in dirt and would be too much fun for Indycars. But this one's alright too!
Facts alone are wanted in life
Lap length: 0.875 miles
Laps: 300 (50 more than last year)
Turns: Allegedly four, but really it's one long continuous turn with a back straight.
Track record: 180.09mph, Ryan Briscoe, Dallara-Honda (2008!)
When's all this happening then
AT NIGHT ON SATURDAY.
Friday, 11 July
08.30-09.50: NASCAR truck practice
10.00-11.15: Indycar practice
11.30-12.30: More truck practice
14.00-15.00: Indycar qualifying
16.40-17.40: Truck qualifying
18.00-18.30: Indycar practice AT NIGHT. Well, close enough.
19.30: NASCAR Truck race (200 laps). Hey, practice, qualifying and race all in one day. There's an idea.
Saturday, 12 July
Busy day this.
19.30: Indycar Iowa Corn Go Go Go (300 laps)
Me so corny
The beautiful state of Iowa! You know how I said that Iowa is basically all about corn and Herbert Hoover? THAT WAS A LIE. Enthusiasts of Trad Jazz and funny names will please note that Bix Beiderbecke also hailed from that state, between 1918 and 1923 it was illegal to speak anything other than English in public, on trains or over the telephone, and that corn makes up only 40 percent of its agricultural produce. Okay so it's mostly about corn and white people from the 1920s.
However I think this is not so bad. Indycars run on the corn-based E85 biofuel, which makes this race a sort of Abu Dhabi-style pilgrimage for the ethanol crowd. Iowa is a short track, less than one mile, but highly banked so aero sensitivity isn't the problem it is at Milwaukee. That means one of two things. Either nothing will happen until the leaders hit traffic and the head of the Indycar snake starts consuming its tail, at which point everything gets exciting but totally baffling for TV viewers. Or there'll be endless crashes and yellow flags and nothing will happen ever. Except for the crashes.
Maize and confused
I don't know what's going on with Indycar. A poster in a previous thread suggested this is feeling a bit like a CART 2000 of a least-screw-ups-wins of a season. It definitely feels like that, although at this stage of the season 2012 and 2013 felt a bit like that too, but my brain has been pretty successful at rewiring them into RHR-versus-Power-match-of-the-century and Irresistible-force-without-an-immovable-object Scott Dixon, respectively. I feel that this year might plausibly be remembered as the Year of the Penske. 2014 is shaping up to be the Captain's best year since 1994, a comparison that makes more sense given that he doesn't have the option of building the Best Car Ever anymore.
Penske froze out the competition in 1994
No driver has won more than two races yet, which with more than half of the season gone ranks as a bit of a surprise. But with four victories overall (and three drivers in the championship's top four) Team Penske is looking good. With three ovals left this year it'll also help that the team employs three bona fide oval experts, and two who can concentrate for longer than 45 minutes at a time. Not bad for a team that hasn't won a championship since 2006, a losing streak that makes Mclaren look like Red Bull Racing.
In related news (this is a really good link, I promise), the two less illustrious Penske drivers have just been the subject of an excellent profile from America's most national and therefore best newspaper, USA Today. Mostly because of the things we learn about Will Power.
Facts about Will Power
Will Power's brother invented a kind of breakdancing you do on stilts.
Will Power taught himself how to play the drums. Just like he taught himself how to overtake other cars.
At one test session Power's wife was at the gym so he had to cook breakfast for Helio. The 33-year-old created a terrifying fried egg/omelette abomination and commented "He's not sick so I think I did OK."
Before Will Power became a racing driver he worked in the family canvas goods business back in Queensland. In a Nigel Tufnel-esque turn he still takes an involved interest in the hospitality tents that turn up at Penske HQ.
Seriously this shit is gold.
Kernels of truth
* This year we're back to Iowa being a night race. So long Europeens.
* Tony Kanaan, by the way, has a new paint job and a new sponsor. Another race, another energy drink you've never heard of.
It's extra high resolution so you can check out all the sweet consumer brands.
* Speaking of last year, it's a long time since anyone's talked about James Heathcliff. He won last year by a frightening margin, although Ryan Hunter-Reay was equally fast but had problems in the race including running into other cars. I have this vague prejudice that Tony Kanaan and Marco Andretti run well at Iowa and should always be contenders for the win. In fact there've been six winners in the last six years. Admittedly the four of those were four different Andretti drivers. Which probably doesn't reflect well on the team.
* There's some sort of rain warning on Saturday's radar. Balls to that, NBC are doing the race and they've got nothing else to broadcast. More importantly, David Hobbs is in the booth. David Hobbs!
* Young Jack Hawkins has climbed out of the apple barrel of injury and is ready for Indycar duty. He finished a good third at Iowa last year in an Indy Lights field that probably contained more talent than last year's GP2 one. With fellow Brummie David Hobbs in the commentary box this is truly an auspicious event.
* World Cup update: by the time the race starts on Saturday the World Cup will be 63/64ths finished. So long, Colombia, so long, Brazil. Come back Christian Danner and Juan Fangio II.
Does Ross Stonefeld like this Eagle livery as much? Let's ask him!
* Cult hero Josef Newgarden is racing at Iowa with sponsorship from Wichita State University, Kansas. I don't know why. Perhaps renowned Wichita expert and Member of Parliament Chuka Umunna can enlighten us. This will mean nothing to non-Brits and nor should it.
Edited by Risil, 10 July 2014 - 23:22.