Standings
1. Castroneves – 471 points
2. Power – 462 points
3. Hunter-Reay – 439 points
4. Pagenaud – 421 points
5. Montoya – 405 points
Frasier Crane in front of the CN Tower. Yes.
Hello folks! In typical IndyCar fashion, I've commandeered the writing rights to this thread by screaming loudly and preparing to act indignantly if anybody challenged me. After a year of blagging history essays and supervisions whilst giving the vague impression that I have a clue what I'm talking about (one of my best essays in my exams comprised my misspelling the name of the central historian throughout – make of that what you will!), I finally have the time – and the right type of insanity – to give this a bash again. What you'll find here is my rather poor, British impression of the wonderful threads we have been blessed with so far by Risil, Andrew Hope and gang. So, basically, the sooner you read this, the sooner you can get back to something quality and American (it's hard to say if the two necessarily go together). Let's get to work, shall we?
Let's get the dull stuff out of the way: what has happened so far this season? Well, it's been the normal maelstrom of mania and maniacal driving – culminating in that multi-car leaders' pileup at Long Beach and that most peculiar phenomenon of Carlos Huertas winning at Detroit. Castroneves finds himself in the championship lead with a string of strong results, despite having fewer victories than Power, Hunter-Reay or Pagenaud. Power currently sits in second despite a series of farcical errors, penalties and the occasional piece of bad luck. Indy 500 winner Hunter-Reay got his championship campaign back on track with a last-gasp victory last time out at Iowa (CORN!!!), having strung together a chain of poor results up to that point. Pagenaud sits in fourth after inexplicably ghosting his way to the front of many road and street course races whilst falling victim to Power's stupidity on a couple of occasions. Montoya, seemingly everybody's favourite at the moment, has finally started to recapture his former glory after a shaky return to the series and now sits in a strong position to contend for the title having got a win under his belt at Pocono.
Last time out, we were at Iowa. Or rather, the Americans were at Iowa and us Europeans either recorded the race or skipped it entirely. In what proved to be an intriguing race, Brazil represented by Kanaan and Castroneves sought to right the wrong that was their World Cup defeat. Yet, with only a few laps to go, Kanaan was forced to relinquish the lead – and with it the pride of a nation – to Hunter-Reay, who otherwise had an anonymous evening sitting around tenth most of the race. Carpenter did something stupid and Montoya wasn't happy. Power might have done something stupid, I can't quite remember... oh that's right, he dropped back with a few laps to go for some strange reason. So, Power has had his fill of occasional bad luck and by the law of averages looks set to return to doing something stupid just in time for our wonderful street course doubleheader. Balance has been restored to the universe.
Now we're all caught up, what's happening this weekend?
2inTo – Toronto Double Header
Where we wish we were heading – but alas, we're not...
Yup, we're at another street course instead. One of the more amusing ones, in fairness – because if you watch IndyCar for anything other than the hijinks of Power and Sato, you're in the minority!
Lies, damned lies and statistics – sounds like my history degree in a nutshell!
Track length: 1.755 miles*
Race length: 85 laps
Green flag (Toron-go – because I clearly did not steal this off Risil): Saturday 19th and Sunday 20th, 3:45pm ET (8:45pm BST)
That's right people, we're off on that annual pilgrimage to the Holy Land of maple syrup, affability and free healthcare. Last year, honours went to Scott Dixon in both races; this year Ganassi would love to simply win a race! We also witnessed that wonderful occurrence: not just one Bourdais podium, but two. Oh, and this too, which summed up Bourdais' luck last year quite nicely. Only in IndyCar.
If you have repressed the horrors of last year's races, good news! You can relive the trauma by clicking the links below:
https://www.youtube....h?v=ZYmQniRAI5g
https://www.youtube....h?v=x0T6xqN1eok
*I do apologise folks, but I found this out on Wikipedia. I hang my head in shame.
Muppet's responsible drinking game
Just to add a little whimsy to the proceedings, feel free to partake in a drinking game I've created (which, of course, should be done with non-alcoholic drinks – since this is a responsible drinking game!) – because clearly the series needs it. The rules are as follows:
Have a sip when:
• You hear the phrases “Sunoco”, “shophonda.com”, “Verizon”, “Holmatro safety crew” or “Firestone”.
• Sato makes a banzai overtaking manoeuvre (regardless of whether it succeeds or not).
• There's a caution.
• Power finds himself in the lead for an inexplicable reason.
• The commentators insightfully remark that Kimball is diabetic.
• There's an advert.
Finish your drink when:
• Sato crashes.
• Power does something stupid (I will leave it to you guys to define what “stupid” entails!).
• Something unlucky happens to Newgarden.
• It becomes apparent Pagenaud is ghosting his way to the front.
Finish the bottle (of lemonade or coke, I would assume – but who knows, maybe you'll be rebellious and go for something as strong as... oh, I don't know... Fanta?) if:
• Power flips the bird.
• Sato wins.
• Bourdais says “I surrender!”.
• The commentators pronounce “Aleshin” correctly.
That's all folks!
On a final note, I do hope that Jack Hawksworth has no problems getting back into America after the race (and yes, I'm inclined to suggest that Bryan Herta can't afford anything more than a Winnebago for this inconvenient jaunt across the border!).
Have fun everyone.
Didn't know there were so many people here who liked Frasier. 
Speaking of which:
