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250 consecutive miles of Milwaukee -- Official Indycar thread


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#1 Risil

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Posted 13 August 2014 - 23:51

 

Very Popular Indycar Racing Series endorsed by Team Penske's Juan Montoya

Round 16 of 18
ABC Supply Takuma Sato 250 @ the Milwaukee Mile

Lap length: One mile (and a bit)

Turns: 4, flat as a stack of matzos.

Previous winner: Ryan Hunter-Reay (Andretti/Chevy)

Hunter-ReayWinsMilwaukee01.jpg

Yes! Let's go round in circles!

Fifteen rounds of mostly-entertaining Indycar racing has led us here. I know the four championship contenders have spent more time screwing around than a Yankee lieutenant at an abandoned Nazi pleasure resort in the last days of World War II, but things is serious now. No more spins. No more speeding in the pits. No more crashes. Especially no more crashes that take seven cars out of the race. Will Power, Helio Castroneves, Ryan Hunter-Reay and Simon Pagenaud have arrived at this beef-infested hellhole for one thing, and one thing only. Victory or possibly finishing seventh while the other three crash or break down or get lapped. That would do.

 

Where are we and what have you done with the street courses?

This week the cross-continental circus (and, as Murray Walker would say, I use that word advisedly) rocks up in the rolling cattle country of Wisconsin.

 

Thisconsin?

RA-BRIC-96-1.jpg

Nope, not that Consin. We're at the Milwaukee Mile, a track so quintessential of Indycar that there's not a single one like it anywhere in the world. The track's racing history dates back to 1903, although in those days you didn't so much “race” a car as “enlist it in a demonstration of why racing automobiles would be a stupid idea”. It was an auspicious decade for Wisconsin. Coming a whole generation after its invention of beer in the mid 19th century, in the 1900s Wisconsin sent Robert M. La Follette, the greatest American politician of all time, to the US Senate, and gave birth to another senator, the noted film critic Joseph McCarthy. All this and the Milwaukee Mile!

 

But contrary to what you might've heard, the Milwaukee Mile is not the prototype unit of measure for the American mile.

 

Glad we've got that cleared up. When are we doing this and what order are we doing it in?

(All times are Milwaukee time, which is to say plus 6 from London time)

 

Saturday, August 16

10:00-11:00: Indycar practice 1

13:30-14:30: Indycar practice 2

14:45-15:30: Pro Mazda qualifying (yes, we have an actual support programme on an oval)

16:05-16:45: Indy Lights practice (see 16th and Georgetown's newest museum piece while you can)

17:00-18:15: Indycar qualifying

18:30-19:30: Pro Mazda race

 

Sunday, August 17

12:00-13:00: Indy Lights race

14:00: NBC Sports starts their trademark brand of informative but slightly weird race broadcasting

14:45: ABC Supply 250 GO!

 

will-power-sonoma-2012.jpg

An angel looking as though he is about to move away from something he is fixedly contemplating. His eyes are staring, his mouth is open, his wings are spread. This is how one pictures Indycar. His face is turned toward the past. Where we perceive a chain of events, he sees one single catastrophe which keeps piling wreckage upon wreckage and hurls it in front of his feet. The angel would like to stay, awaken the dead, and make whole what has been smashed. But a storm is blowing from Paradise; it has got caught in his wings with such violence that the angel can no longer close them. The storm irresistibly propels him into the future to which his back is turned, while the pile of debris before him grows skyward. This storm is what we call Will Power.

 

 

I'm a big Indycar fan but I don't know shit

Don't worry you're in some good company. I used to be like you, but then I started writing these OPs and now what I say becomes reality. Here's a round-up of the latest reality from the world of Indycar:

 

National Guff

Celebrating America's successful extrication from a debilitating war in the Middle East, the US National Guard has pulled out of all motor racing. Its steadfast dedication, its patriotism and most importantly its money will be greatly missed by the Indycar and NASCAR paddocks. It feels safe to say that despite its natural affinity for a sport beloved for its colossal idiocy, jargon-spouting leaders and ability to burn through money unmatched since the Great Dutch Tulip Fire of 1637, the National Guard never found the right marketing fit. John Barnes's lamented Panther outfit was a little too reminiscent of MacArthur at Bataan, suddenly surrounded by the invasion of displaced CARTers. In 2014 Graham Rahal has been doing a weekly Iranian Hostage Crisis show. Dale Junior? The Iraq War -- big, tirelessly promoted and exploiting the memory of Daddy's achievements   lots of time and effort wasted on a bad cause   unfairly characterized by the European media.

 

The night old Dixie drove them down

Two weeks ago we saw a grim prospect of the future. Mankind reduced to crawling across an apocalyptic city-less wasteland, scratching around for the few remaining oil reserves to heat their homes in winter and traverse the continental distances between the few remaining settlements. Suddenly, a paleface from across the seas emerges, vanquishing all before him with his ability to get incredible fuel mileage. Before you can say or spell apotheosis, he is hoisted aloft and brought to the Sacred Druidic Circle of Winners. Here he will reign over his tribe for a year and a day before being ceremonially beheaded, starved to death or killed by Will Power in single combat. Yes, Formula One has its turbos, Toyota has its supercapacitors, and Indycar has Scott Dixon.

 

Support a publishing conglomerate by giving them all your money

Wow! Not content with being your favourite one stop shop for racing tittle-tattle, week-old race reports and colour photography, Autosport magazine is running a special issue dedicated to the four-wheeled wonder that is the (Verizon) Indycar Series! There's a lot of good shit in there about the Mansell-until-Catastrophe era, and it's guest edited by Alex Zanardi. Which, if it's anything like the magazine I used to work for, involves asking him for 600 words of introduction, rewriting it into legible English, and then doing everything else by yourself. If you're a subscriber, you can read Eurosport Hero Jeremy Shaw's memory, right out of his brain.

jeremymurray_sm-300x292.jpg

But you should probably also buy a copy if you can. Frame it. Stuff it. Fit it with a speaker so that when you press a button it flops around and plays the intro to ABC's Wide World of Sports. Because it will never happen again.

 

Aero kitsch

2012 called and asked whether you were still interested in these fabulous aero body kits. From what I understand of this Indycar.com article, they're going to laser scan the Dallara into iRacing and then run the whole of next season at Lime Rock and South Boston Speedway. Looking forward to it! As the author's anonymous source says, "That’s really cool and will save a lot of time next year."

 

Tell me about the year 2014

2014? You mean that fabulous Indycar racing year which ended with Will Power being crowned series champion under the palms at St Petersburg? Yes I can tell you about that. Early skirmishes at Mid-Ohio, Toronto and Iowa saw the year's title protagonists Power, Castroneves, Hunter-Reay and Pagenaud virtually equal in championship points. They arrived at Pocono in eager expectation of opening up a gap on their competitors, but three of them left very disappointed having been destroyed by Helio Castroneves, whose double points second place left him with a big points lead.

 

The celebrations were short-lived, however, as an appalling run of results saw Helio drop back into the clutches of his rivals. They hadn't exactly torn the place up either, despite strong performances at Houston and Detroit from Pagenaud and Power respectively bringing them back into play. Meanwhile, Hunter-Reay was doing his best to make everyone remember his pre-2012 career.

 

The Month of May signified the seriousness of how things were getting, and a last-lap win from Hunter-Reay transmuted the championship from a Penske stranglehold to one in which all things were possible. With a further second-place at the Indy GP and a crushing, splashing win in Alabama, Hunter-Reay had announced himself as a challenger to Will Power and potential picker-upper of Castroneves's one-victory lead, should anything silly happen. An inspired strategy call from Boss Roger at the Indy GP was the only thing keeping Helio at arm's length from his rivals, who were smelling blood like the great white shark Three Stooges.

url9.jpg

Long Beach was crunch time. The penultimate round, Hunter-Reay aimed to do what he needed to close the half-win gap from Power and 53 point deficit to Castroneves. With Hunter-Reay sitting on pole for Sunday afternoon's race and the Penske duo stuck in midpack, the race promised to be one to remember. It was, mostly. But only after a buttermilk-addled Hunter-Reay snatched at the lead on lap 56, taking out himself and, it seemed, half the field. Castroneves was one driver collected by Hunter-Reay's disabled car, but instead of getting out of the car and making Ryan drop faster than Sonny Liston spotting some Nation of Islam heavies, he stuck at it and grabbed a useful 19 points for 11th. Will Power, who earlier had taken out his former championship rival Simon Power, sneaked through the wreckage to finish second. 13 points behind Helio. It would be a Penske championship after all.

 

With Castroneves looking strong, Power would need every point he could get. He missed pole, but after running with Sato early on, he blasted past the Tokyo Troublemaker and went about an unusual error-free domination of the race. With 3 lap-leading points in the bag on top of the 10 points he'd pull out over second place, forget Helio, the championship was his. Kimball in the wall. Caution. Worse still – Castroneves on his gearbox. On the restart, Power examined his conscience for precisely one millisecond and brake-checked his teammate. As Will roared away, Castroneves found himself under attack from Hunter-Reay, who would for a second time in two races prove his executioner. Second place was gone, and any chance of passing Power.

 

As the NBC-broadcast-window-friendly championship celebrations began, Castroneves retreated to his plantation in the Carolinas and plotted revenge. Will Power gave a strange victory speech in which he implied that he'd won the three previous championships and sold his parents as bushmeat to pay for his first Formula Holden ride. Meanwhile, we all wondered what would've happened if we'd ever found out the results of the year's opening three races at Fontana, Sonoma and Milwaukee. Of all the calamities visited on planet Earth by the Great Blindness of 2014 (now thought to have been caused by a meteor shower, or possibly parasite-infested tenderloin), this was perhaps a minor one. But as with the European Driver's Championship of 1939, or the time Andrew Hope went missing from the last forum meet-up before reappearing at 5am with his face smeared with Kraft Dinner and the warm blood of a goat, we will never know what really happened.


Edited by Risil, 14 August 2014 - 12:16.


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#2 Prost1997T

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 00:08

I see you're trying to make the Indycar threads more over the top each time :p

 

I'm thinking Kanaan may prevent an RHR three-peat, especially now that he's got a top tier car underneath him with near-perfect reliability.



#3 InSearchOfThe

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 00:36

A true bullring.

Always thought it was better placed the weekend after Indy.


Edited by InSearchOfThe, 14 August 2014 - 00:45.


#4 SKL

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 02:10

They should be back at that "other" Wisconsin track you pictured, but thank God the Billy Mitchell Bridge isn't there anymore as in that picture...

 

And the damned season shouldn't be ending in 2 weeks!!



#5 whitewaterMkII

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 02:31

Hey, I thought that Milwaukee was right after Indy...



#6 RAGE12463

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 03:00

To the guys who are going, did you guys get your tickets online? I'm trying to buy from milwaukeeindyfest.com but it won't work at all :(



#7 PayasYouRace

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 07:39

 If you're a subscriber, you can read Eurosport Hero Jeremy Shaw's memory, right out of his brain.

 

That was a good article.

 

Great OP by the way, but it's a bit early in the morning to be trying to get my head around a backwards season review.



#8 OvDrone

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 11:02

Still can't get around the fact that we have just three more Indycar races this year. Dismay.



#9 Sheepmachine

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 11:49

Great OP Risil. :)
Only three rounds left, why?! :( This is slightly off topic but is Fontana a night race?

#10 PayasYouRace

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 11:52

Great OP Risil. :)
Only three rounds left, why?! :( This is slightly off topic but is Fontana a night race?

 

This is an Indycar thread. You'd have to try harder than that to get OT.

 

Fontana starts at 9pm ET. So I guess that makes it a night or possibly a sunset race.



#11 king_crud

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 12:04

A true bullring.

Always thought it was better placed the weekend after Indy.

 

Agreed, one of my favorite tracks too. And now I'm living every British man's dream of getting EPSN on my tv, as of last Friday, so I can watch and record these races.



#12 PayasYouRace

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 12:16

For some reason indycar.com shows the track as a four-turn "mini-Indy". http://www.indycar.c...eries/Milwaukee



#13 Risil

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 12:17

For some reason indycar.com shows the track as a four-turn "mini-Indy". http://www.indycar.c...eries/Milwaukee

 

It's cheaper than drawing two separate track maps. A bit like how they only recorded Roadrunner saying "Meep" once then doubled the tape.


Edited by Risil, 14 August 2014 - 12:18.


#14 Ross Stonefeld

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 12:59

That was a good article.

 

Great OP by the way, but it's a bit early in the morning to be trying to get my head around a backwards season review.

 

That was a terrible article I thought. I mean, fine if you only got into Indycar in the late 00s or something and need to read a poor man's Wikipedia version of it or something but I expected a lot more from it. Though maybe not as much from Shaw, who is more a promoter/cheerleader than someone you'd go to for analysis.



#15 Ross Stonefeld

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 13:08

btw a write-up of Mansell's 93 season by someone on the team http://www.valvoline...rage-doors/1411



#16 PayasYouRace

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 13:19

That was a terrible article I thought. I mean, fine if you only got into Indycar in the late 00s or something and need to read a poor man's Wikipedia version of it or something but I expected a lot more from it. Though maybe not as much from Shaw, who is more a promoter/cheerleader than someone you'd go to for analysis.

 

It's just a summary.

 

Anyway perhaps this one of drivers' memories is more to your liking? Again, for subscribers.



#17 Option1

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 13:48

... <litterachure>....

 

An angel looking as though he is about to move away from something he is fixedly contemplating. His eyes are staring, his mouth is open, his wings are spread. This is how one pictures Indycar. His face is turned toward the past. Where we perceive a chain of events, he sees one single catastrophe which keeps piling wreckage upon wreckage and hurls it in front of his feet. The angel would like to stay, awaken the dead, and make whole what has been smashed. But a storm is blowing from Paradise; it has got caught in his wings with such violence that the angel can no longer close them. The storm irresistibly propels him into the future to which his back is turned, while the pile of debris before him grows skyward. This storm is what we call Will Power.

 

...<more littterachewere>

Brilliant! 

 

Now step away from the peyote.

 

Neil



#18 jonpollak

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 16:07

"Aero kitsch"

 

Dalink, that was maavellous.

Jp



#19 Andrew Hope

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 16:25

Great OP Risil. :)
Only three rounds left, why?! :( This is slightly off topic but is Fontana a night race?

 

Last year Fontana started near sunset and ended in the night.



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#20 Risil

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 17:02

That was a terrible article I thought. I mean, fine if you only got into Indycar in the late 00s or something and need to read a poor man's Wikipedia version of it or something but I expected a lot more from it. Though maybe not as much from Shaw, who is more a promoter/cheerleader than someone you'd go to for analysis.

 

So go ahead and write it. :)



#21 Jim Thurman

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 17:20

Another brilliant OP by risil.  Nat Stuckey! Robert LaFollette! Plus, real Shemp! :up:



#22 paulb

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 17:43

Hunter-ReayWinsMilwaukee01.jpg

 

I don't understand how anything can be a "fest" without beer sponsorship, particularly in Wisconsin.  It takes much of the sin out of it.

 

I'm looking forward to consecutive miles of racing action.

 

And here is to hoping that the Tokyo Troublemaker (love the moniker Risil!) completes the race without any incidents and happens to finish in the top 5. I can imagine his fans are especially rabid for this one.



#23 Afterburner

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Posted 15 August 2014 - 01:20

Fantastic OP, Risil. :clap: We need to start picking up some of the slack more often so you don't have to write, like, every single one of these. :lol:

 

This weekend I'm traveling to the Carolinas to work a club race event, so as much as I'd love to jump in with a slew of Newsradio-inspired Wiscaaaansin jokes, I won't be here. :p

 

Looking forward to the race. I missed this one last year even though I DVR'd it, but I'll be sure to watch it through this time and then catch up here afterward. Have fun, guys!

 

thumbsup.gif



#24 whitewaterMkII

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Posted 15 August 2014 - 14:20

Bound for Vegas, y'all. Have a great weekend, doubt I'll be posting, but I'll be reading. It's an oval, although not a long one, so I'll be pulling for Juancho.

:wave:



#25 jonpollak

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Posted 15 August 2014 - 21:42

Ross : Are you going? Jp

#26 Ross Stonefeld

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Posted 15 August 2014 - 22:20

Non, I am watching from the couch.



#27 jonpollak

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 00:40

What?? No free passes? Jp

#28 Ross Stonefeld

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 00:47

2011 - Series passes with a business honcho I was towing along

2012 - grandstand, out of pocket

2013 - Not in town, watching on TV, playing iRacing



#29 king_crud

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 08:13

The slow decline of Ross Stonefeld



#30 Ross Stonefeld

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 11:26

Since whitewater is in Vegas I've asked him to check the long-term odds on whether I or Indycar are around in a decade.



#31 Risil

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 12:03

I'm putting money on you merging with Indycar by 2025, Transcendence-style.


Edited by Risil, 16 August 2014 - 12:03.


#32 Prost1997T

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 13:25

You're *that* old Ross? :p



#33 prommer

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 17:55

Per RACER, Ed and Sarah to merge. They will need to decide on the sex of the new entity, e.g., Chevy or Honda.

 

CarpenWay-FishGarden?



#34 Ross Stonefeld

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 18:53

I'm worried the team name will head towards BPCCWSPBF



#35 Prost1997T

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 19:01

Hinchcliffe dominating practice so far.



#36 PayasYouRace

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 19:02

Has there ever before been a driver who became a team owner who's driver became a competing owner-driver only for the teams to merge?



#37 Lemnpiper

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 19:36

Per RACER, Ed and Sarah to merge. They will need to decide on the sex of the new entity, e.g., Chevy or Honda.

 

CarpenWay-FishGarden?

 

 

 FishCarp ?    CarpFish ?



#38 ensign14

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 19:57

If you mix woodworking and fish, you get a Perch.



#39 PayasYouRace

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 22:06

http://www.autosport...t.php/id/115404

 

Seems they'll be called CFH Racing. So presumably Carpenter Fisher Hotdog(?) Racing



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#40 Risil

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 22:24

Seems they'll be called CFH Racing. So presumably Carpenter Fisher Hotdog(?) Racing

 

Probably Hartman, but Sarah may have new business arrangements now.

 

Anyway, I'd have thought Hotdog would be more Bryan Herta Autosport's style.


Edited by Risil, 16 August 2014 - 22:24.


#41 Prost1997T

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 22:46

Power will start from pole position, with all his rivals having mediocre to bad qualifying runs...


Edited by Prost1997T, 16 August 2014 - 22:46.


#42 Disgrace

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 22:50

Perfect, they'll all be together once the DJ gets a penalty for whatever.



#43 whitewaterMkII

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Posted 17 August 2014 - 00:43

Since whitewater is in Vegas I've asked him to check the long-term odds on whether I or Indycar are around in a decade.

Ask and thou shalt receive. 

Went downstairs to the sportsbook to make your proposal.

And they do NOT do future book on anything Indy related. In fact, they said IndyCar is so upside down, they are not offering championship futures until after the race tomorrow..

But....

I do have the lines for you on the following.

Formula Un.

Championship odds.

Sprint Car.

Championship odds.

And pertaining to all things IndyCar.

The odds on the race tomorrow.

Just so happens that one of the guys here is a former Subaru factory driver, so we are placing bets tomorrow after we peruse the odds over dinner tonight.

HCN 5-1

RHR 9-2

Marco 6/1

Dixie 6-1

JPM 8-1

TK 10-1

Munoz 15-1

Hinch 10-1

Carpenter 20-1 

Pag 25-1

Briscoe 20-1

Wilson 30-1

Why not 30-1

Bourdais 50-1

Rahal II 30-1

Lotion 60-1

Nueve Garden 40-1

Huuuuertas 40-1

Field 40-1

So youse take yer picks, and I'll cover...at 20 bucks and under.

I'll run yer bets tonight if you bite.

Dada

 

PS: My personal proposal to the book will be for odds on JPM beating Rahal and see what odds I get on that for a C note.


Edited by whitewaterMkII, 17 August 2014 - 01:02.


#44 Afterburner

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Posted 17 August 2014 - 03:34

Hinch and Carpenter seem like good bets. A cyber-tenner on each, please. :p

Which begs the question: what is our imaginary currency of choice here on the Indycar continent of Planet Autosport?

Edited by Afterburner, 17 August 2014 - 03:37.


#45 whitewaterMkII

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Posted 17 August 2014 - 06:47

Mr. Subaru called Mr. Honda and the bets are down on Pags for tomorrow.

Pretty much any currency is acceptable here in Vegas, but as for your cyber cash Afterburner, my Nigerian co-horts prefer dollars, if gold is not available...



#46 Vitesse2

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Posted 17 August 2014 - 08:00

Hinch and Carpenter seem like good bets. A cyber-tenner on each, please. :p

Which begs the question: what is our imaginary currency of choice here on the Indycar continent of Planet Autosport?

I'd go for the Kalganid.

 

Failing that the Flanian Pobble Bead.



#47 Sheepmachine

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Posted 17 August 2014 - 08:20

I think it will be R-H-R. :)

#48 PayasYouRace

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Posted 17 August 2014 - 08:54

Pos Driver Team/Engine Speed
1. Will Power Penske/Chevy 169.262
2. Tony Kanaan Ganassi/Chevy 168.662
3. Juan Pablo Montoya Penske/Chevy 168.579
4. Ryan Briscoe Ganassi/Chevy 168.266
5. Josef Newgarden Fisher/Honda 168.233
6. Charlie Kimball Ganassi/Chevy 168.123
7. Ed Carpenter Carpenter/Chevy 167.775
8. Helio Castroneves Penske/Chevy 167.561
9. Marco Andretti Andretti/Honda 167.079
10. Takuma Sato Foyt/Honda 166.915
11. Scott Dixon Ganassi/Chevy 166.742
12. Justin Wilson Coyne/Honda 166.501
13. James Hinchcliffe Andretti/Honda 166.195
14. Graham Rahal Rahal/Honda 166.032
15. Mikhail Aleshin Schmidt/Honda 165.851
16. Simon Pagenaud Schmidt/Honda 165.818
17. Jack Hawksworth Herta/Honda 165.614
18. Sebastien Bourdais KV/Chevy 164.421
19. Ryan Hunter-Reay Andretti/Honda 164.211
20. Carlos Munoz Andretti/Honda 164.013
21. Sebastian Saavedra KV/Chevy 162.535
22. Carlos Huertas Coyne/Honda 159.787



#49 PayasYouRace

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Posted 17 August 2014 - 16:28

I've got a family dinner this evening so I'll miss out. I'll give my predictions jinxes now.

 

Tony Kanaan will win.

 

Will Power will be out of contention due to crazy pitstop antics.

 

RHR will finish in the top 5.

 

Newgarden and Carpenter will collide, taking the news that their teams are merging too literally.

 

Sato will finish in the top 10.

 

The driver who leads the most laps will not win, due to different strategies.

 

I look forward to seeing if any of these are right.



#50 Ross Stonefeld

Ross Stonefeld
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Posted 17 August 2014 - 16:53

I'd go with RHR or Hinchcliffe running/finishing at the front, yeah.