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Formula Pun


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#1 hittheapex

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Posted 22 December 2014 - 08:18

Seeing as it is the off season, the time to be jolly and I can't often pass up the opportunity for a bad pun based joke, I thought I'd start this thread in a celebration of general silliness.

 

OK, here we go:

 

-Nelson was feeling a bit Piquet after his crash at Tamburello.

 

-Sometime in late 2009, Ron Dennis told Martin Whitmarsh to Button it, next thing he knows he finds a young man called Jenson in the reception looking for a drive.

 

-James and Niki used to go Hunting together, until James realised that whenever he was with Niki, things were a bit Lauda and they never caught anything.

 

-Rumour has it that the double points race in Abu Dhabi was decided in the hotel bar when Bernie overheard one of the circuit managers saying "make mine a double."


Edited by hittheapex, 22 December 2014 - 08:19.


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#2 03011969

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Posted 22 December 2014 - 08:41

Please, make it stop.

#3 hittheapex

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Posted 22 December 2014 - 09:56

Please, make it stop.

Isn't that what Kobayashi said in Melbourne this year?



#4 DampMongoose

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Posted 22 December 2014 - 10:05

An old one but still...

 

Team radio: Felipe, we've just heard that Fernando's mum has been knitting, it's a pullover for Alonso!" 



#5 Option1

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Posted 22 December 2014 - 12:04

Bearing no connection to F1 other than the main subject earning enough to possibly be considered a member of Bernie's favoured demographic, I present this merely because it's truly groan-worthy:

 

a3PyV.jpg

 

Neil



#6 f1RacingForever

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Posted 31 December 2014 - 22:03

2015 looks to be a Trulli exciting season.
😎

#7 Fatgadget

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Posted 31 December 2014 - 22:34

Lucas in di Grassi



#8 R Soul

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Posted 31 December 2014 - 23:37

With the help of DRS, Maldonado got Pastor lot of drivers.



#9 Jovanotti

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 08:16

I guess I don't have to explain you guys, especially at this time of year, why 'Montagny' has proved to be a fitting name for Franck :)



#10 Jackmancer

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 09:39

Who won the '77 world championship?

- "Lauda"

I SAID WHO WON THE '77 CHAMPIONSHIP?



#11 Maustinsj

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 10:19

Kill me now.



#12 thegforcemaybewithyou

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 10:21

After Valentino got pushed off the track, he thought: What a biatch, eeh!?



#13 Jackmancer

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 15:58

Kill me now.

 

Oh Kimi a break, these jokes are not the Wurz you can find around here.



#14 Taxi

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 16:02

We found why a certain french driver was never a champion: His father told him after being contacted by Ferrari: "Jean! Allez y"!


Edited by Taxi, 02 January 2015 - 16:05.


#15 Taxi

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 17:16

Oh and that ABBA song "Kimi Kimi Kimi a man after midnight"



#16 STRFerrari4Ever

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 17:46

We found why a certain french driver was never a champion: His father told him after being contacted by Ferrari: "Jean! Allez y"!

Dear God  :lol:



#17 R Soul

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 18:29

Claire Williams admits she lacks the frankness of her father.



#18 Jackmancer

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 19:01

Screen_Shot_2015_01_02_at_20_01_01.png



#19 SlickMick

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 19:11

And there we have yet another line on Racing Comments menu page that will waste more of my time reading and scrolling down. Cheers!  



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#20 R Soul

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 19:27

2015 Williams will handle better due to lower centre of Massa.



#21 Jackmancer

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 19:34

2015 Williams will handle better due to lower centre of Massa.

 

Maybe next year they can be best of Di Resta behind Mercedes.


Edited by Jackmancer, 02 January 2015 - 19:38.


#22 GoldenColt

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 19:37

Pedal to the vettel…



#23 Jackmancer

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 19:42

Sainz when are F1 drivers aged 17?



#24 Lotus53B

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 21:26

This thread is hitting the button, but there will be another one alonso there's no point getting too worked up, bottas I can't think of any more, I'll leave you with a hill to climb



#25 thegforcemaybewithyou

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 21:44

While Terry bought us one manual fan, Giovanna nicked a mat and ret it. Sure, tease me, John said and hide in the field.

 

The engineer told him to be careful with the engine, but Peter revs on and on.

 

He pushed the throttle, but Carlos' pace wasn't good enough.

 

Heinz and Harald were friends, and maybe even more...


Edited by thegforcemaybewithyou, 02 January 2015 - 21:51.


#26 Derpensky

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Posted 03 January 2015 - 06:24

What did Jan Magnussen say to his son when he was hungry?

 

"Where is my lunch? Kevin, Magnussen (make-now-son)!"

 

What do you do when Ron Dennis tells you that he is angry with you?

 

You Ron away!

 

When Nico Rosberg collided with Lewis Hamilton in Spa, Wolff was Totolly unhappy while Paddy thought it was a really Lowe move.

 

Why does the Red Bull cars look so spanking new every season?

 

I guess its because its Newey built!



#27 SealTheDiffuser

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Posted 03 January 2015 - 18:03

Who won the '77 world championship?

- "Lauda"

I SAID WHO WON THE '77 CHAMPIONSHIP?

 

LAUDA!



#28 PlatenGlass

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Posted 03 January 2015 - 23:05

Whose driving style caused his transmission to fail leading to an early dinner?

Gerhard Berger.

What TV comedy was named after the great great great ... great great great grandson of a Japanese racing driver?

Takuma Sat Number 42.

Edited by PlatenGlass, 03 January 2015 - 23:08.


#29 sabjit

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Posted 04 January 2015 - 13:32

What was the name of the astrodroid on the ship of a former japanese F1 driver?

Takuma's R2



#30 Brazzers

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Posted 04 January 2015 - 14:10

Most useless Button in a F1 car? Jenson. 



#31 Jimisgod

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Posted 04 January 2015 - 14:19

The only good F1 pun was the "Diniz in the oven" one when he had a fiery engine failure.



#32 R Soul

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Posted 04 January 2015 - 15:17

The Mercedes hospitality staff make great food. Toto Wolffs it down.



#33 Lotus53B

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Posted 04 January 2015 - 20:29

Can I say that the Williams' team principal is going to be frank with everyone?

 

No?...okey-dokey...



#34 Spillage

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Posted 04 January 2015 - 22:58

Cristiano Da Matta's younger brother Watts never quite made the big-time.



#35 EarnardBeccelstone

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 00:28

This thread is the Wurz thing I’ve read in a long time. Truli it is, and I’m not that Yoong anymore.

 

What’s Da Matta with you all? Do me a Fabre.

 

Honestly, I don’t know Webber or not I’ll stick around for it. Maybe I’ll go to the Stohr and get a Berger instead. Or a Pizzonia? Maybe some sHerbet for dessert?

 

Maybe I should Button my lips though, and just Chilton. I don't want to put on too much Mass.


Edited by EarnardBeccelstone, 05 January 2015 - 00:28.


#36 R Soul

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 02:12

I know I've posted some puns of my own, but Lehto on I wasn't so Surer this thread was a good idea. It's Gethin silly now.



#37 hittheapex

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 13:37

I thought this thread had Petered out over Christmas but my Eagle eye has picked up pleasing levels of F1 punditry.

 

What did the waiter offer at the F1 themed restaurant as an after dinner drink?

 

Teo Caffi.


Edited by hittheapex, 05 January 2015 - 13:38.


#38 GoldenColt

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 14:04

You have to be sutil with these puns.



#39 hittheapex

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 14:09

Some more:

 

Apologies in advance :lol:

What do you call a cow that's been tripped up by a tyre? Heidfeld.

What's da Matta?

I once took a girl home I thought was called Gene. Turned out to be a bloke named Marc.

Somebody is Hakkinen to the computer!

Broken gearbox. That car is Damonstrably failing to make the Hill.

Jenson Button is Honda his last lap.

How does a French person try to seduce his British girlfriend? "Mon Toya!"

The secret to a happy home is to keep a clean Matras

 

Be careful to keep your money dry in this wet weather we are having, or you risk an annoying case of Stirling Moss.


Edited by hittheapex, 05 January 2015 - 14:10.


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#40 GoldenColt

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 14:16

Some were that funny I almost had to Clapham! Others made me Ralph!



#41 Jerem

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 14:20

Of course it was quite famous in 2009 but it's still a pretty good one:

 

"Look how bad you are"



#42 Taxi

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 17:35

That was pure genious. Simple as that. 



#43 Taxi

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 18:04

You know that story of the F1 driver who smashed a botle in other guy on a  bar? Oh and trust me, he was just beeing Sutil. 

 

But hey lets pass dead drivers jokes ok? That would be Morbideli.  In the meantime, Alex! Bring me a coup of Caffi to drink while I see that Charles Pic on google.

 

Oh and you know Montagny was doped? But Christian was always Klien! 

 

 

 

 

Love this. See how I even didn't had to make that easy joke on Scoot's lack of Speed?


Edited by Taxi, 05 January 2015 - 18:19.


#44 Dolph

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 23:05

Williams team principal isn't frank, is that claire?

#45 R Soul

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Posted 06 January 2015 - 01:32

Amon to that.



#46 hittheapex

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Posted 06 January 2015 - 09:44

Don't forget the story of the race instructor telling Peter to "Rev, Son."

 

Then there was the young man called Jim who went to drive with Lotus after leaving his job as a Clark.

 

Mike was a very quick driver, the problem at the time was that he always Parkes.


Edited by hittheapex, 06 January 2015 - 12:02.


#47 ardbeg

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Posted 06 January 2015 - 09:54

Reason why Williams had such a good season is because they went for fewer If's and more Bottas



#48 skc

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Posted 06 January 2015 - 11:55

I hear it takes a while to get the new McLaren engine to Ron, Dennis plain sailing from there.

#49 paultheoctopus44

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Posted 06 January 2015 - 12:02

Lewis said, i was wondering why my mirrors were getting foggy...... then it hit me.

 

Whilst Vettlel got out of his car he was glad he knew sign language,  smirking that its quite handy. 

 

Wow hes got balls said Vettel when being overtaken by Ricciardo, whilst  juggling his move from Red Bull to Ferrari 

 

Barichello screamed NUTS! before colliding with the tire wall  

 

Nico said all this aero is working well whilst getting pole at the Monoco gp to which Lewis said why cant i have any chocolate, hes cheating  

 

Lewis said this is really getting tiresome, whilst retiring at the 2013 Silverstone GP

 

Wow im really getting fired up said Lewis, until the pit wall responded, are you ok? 


Edited by paultheoctopus44, 06 January 2015 - 12:14.


#50 Lotus53B

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Posted 06 January 2015 - 12:37

They're stopping qualifying, and getting everyone to vote on who gets poll position