Hello race fans! And welcome to Pocono (a strong imagination is possibly required here). Now if this was NASCAR, that last sentence would more likely than not fill you with a deep sense of dread. You see, things that usually rank as more better uses of your time than watching a NASCAR race at Pocono include counting every blade of grass in your garden, or reading the Verstappen vs Sainz thread right from the very start.
But this is IndyCar. And with two races to go, there’s a championship still to be decided. So if you’re even vaguely interested to see if Juan Pablo Montoya will choke away the championship in a style that would make even Will Power wince, then you should definitely tune in.
The track
IndyCar is in Pennsylvania this weekend. Some say that this was inspiration for Bram Stoker’s critically acclaimed Dracone-ula, the story of an eccentric and rather odd pay driver, who sucks the life out of a once half credible racing team.
Spooky
The track itself has a fearsome reputation too, such that it even has its own nicknames. The Nuburgring Nordschleife is known as Green Hell. Yas Marina in Abu Dhabi is known internationally as ‘bloody awful’. And Pocono is known as ‘the tricky triangle’, or, even more worryingly, ‘the Bermuda triangle’. I guess this is something to do with driver’s chances of victory disappearing suddenly, rather than drivers vanishing without trace once they reach turn two, but you can never be completely sure with these things.
You can tell a lot about a track just from its Wikipedia page. Pocono has a heading named ‘notable events’. Did you know, for instance, that in 1971 Schaefer Beer (no, I’ve never heard of it either) agreed to sponsor Pocono’s IndyCar 500? Truly a notable event indeed.
A track map of Pocono that isn't very triangular
The three turns each have different levels of banking. However, I am reliably informed that this is indeed deliberate, rather than unintentional shoddy workmanship.
Spa weather ain't got nothing on Pocono!
The championship
As I mentioned in the introduction, with two races to go, the championship is well and truly alive. Which is remarkable considering that only a few races ago, a certain Columbian looked to have the title in the bag. And no, I don’t mean Carlos Munoz.
One of these Colombians is leading the championship. The other two are not.
But it has been quite some season. We’ve had controversy, #IndyRivals, DRACONE, countless Juan puns, cheese jokes, cheating, doughnuts, Joe Hart, the most talk of flying cars since Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, #IndyRivals, lists, Karen Gillan gifs, bad jokes and #INDYRIVALS.
In typical IndyCar fashion, the guy who has been leading the championship for pretty much the entirety of the season is in danger of losing the championship. Juan Pablo Montoya heads into this race with a slender nine point advantage over the nearest competitor.
And who is this driver, who is taking on the Monaco Grand Prix victor and double Indy 500 winner? Graham Rahal. Yeah, it’s been one of those seasons when a guy, who, before this season started, had only won one race in the series since 2008, is now challenging for the title.
It just wouldn't be an IndyCar thread without some entirely useless information. So here you are. Rahal's A1GP results. And I've no idea why he drove for Lebanon either.
With double points on offer for the final race at Sonoma however, Montoya and Rahal aren’t the only two in with a chance. Scott Dixon, who at this stage I’m almost certain is some sort of magician is still very much in contention too. The series' eternal runner up-not-counting-the-three-Indy-500-wins-he-has, Helio Castroneves, still has a chance, as does defending champion Will Power.
But how is it that this is the penultimate race? I mean, we're only in August! Well, that, ladies and gentlefolk is IndyCar for you. Ask any of the drivers what they think about the season ending this early, and they’ll tell you it’s “an absolutely [redacted to keep Mark Miles happy] idea.”
Points
Juan Pablo Montoya- 465
Graham Rahal – 456
Scott Dixon – 431
Helio Castroneves – 407
Will Power – 406
Sebastien Bourdais – 379
Marco Andretti – 378
Josef Newgarden – 370
Tony Kanaan – 354
Simon Pagenaud - 329
Questions to be pondered
- Will Montoya turn his recent run of poor results around, and make us all wonder why we ever doubted him?
- Does Graham Rahal have another rave powered win in him?
- How the hell is Josef Newgarden behind Marco Andretti in the standings, despite having won twice?
- Will there be a queue of angry drivers waiting to punch Sage Karam in the face after the race?
- Will Karen Gillan sign up to the Autosport forums and tell us how much she loves IndyCar?
- Will somebody feel the need to correct somebody/fail to understand something that is blatantly a joke?
- Wait, wasn't Proto402 supposed to be doing this opening post?
- Is Ronnie Peterson really dead?
Schedule
August 22nd
Gates open - 8am
ABC Supply 500 Rookie Practice for Rookies - 8:30-9:30am
ABC Supply 500 Practice for other drivers who aren't rookies I guess - 9:30-11:30am
ABC Supply 500 Qualifying 2:00-3:10pm
I think this event in sponsored by ABC Supply 500 Final Practice - 5:30-6:00pm
August 23rd
Gates open - 8am
IndyCar driver autograph session - 9:15-10:15am
Driver introductions for the you-know-what 500 - 1:50pm
ABC Supply 500 race start - 2:30pm
What time is that in everywhere else that isn't Pocono?
Easy tip. Type '2015 IndyCar schedule' or similar into Google, and it should tell you the correct race start in your timezone.
DISCLAIMER: If this happens to be wrong, please send any hate mail, strongly worded letters or anything else to Google rather than myself, thanks!
Think that covers everything. As a token of my appreciation for you reading all this, here, have some Karen Gillan gifs.
Edited by JHSingo, 18 August 2015 - 00:37.
You and Risil have been the masters of this stuff this year. 
