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And now for something completely different...


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#1 David Beard

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Posted 04 March 2003 - 20:41

Headmaster: Knock, enter and approach. (knock on door; it opens and three schoolboys in short trousers enter) Right, it's come to my notice that certain boys have been running a unit-trust linked assurance scheme with fringe benefits and full cash-in endowment facilities. Apparently small investors were attracted by the wide-ranging portfolio and that in the first week the limited offer was oversubscribed eight times.

Stebbins: It was Tidwell's idea, sir.

Headmaster: Shut up, Stebbins! I haven't finished. Oh, by the way, congratulations on winning the Italian Grand Prix at Monza.

Stebbins: Thank you, sir.

Headmaster: Shut up. Now then, this sort of extra-curricular capitalist expansion has got to stopt l made it quite clear when Potter tried to go public last term, that these massive stock exchange deals must not happen in Big School. Is that clear, Balderston?

Balderston: Yes, sir.

Headmaster: Oh, and Balderston, next time you do a 'Panorama' Report on the Black Ghettos you must get an exert form from Mr Dibley.

Balderston: Sorry, sir.

Headmaster: Shut up, and stop slouching. Now, the reason I called you in here today, is that my wife is having a little trouble with her,.. er... with her waterworks, and I think she needs a bit of attention, Now, which one of you is the surgeon? (silence) Come on, I know one of you is, which one is it? (Tidwell raises hand reluctantly) Ah! Tidwell. Good. Well, I want'you to cut along and have a look at the wife.

Tidwell: Oh, sir! Why don't you ask Stebbins? He's a gynaecologist.

Stebbins: Ooh! You rotten stinker, Tidwell!

Headmaster: Is this true, Stebbins? Are you a gynaecologist?

Stebbins: (very reluctantly) Yes, sir.

Headmaster: Right, just the man. How much do you charge?

Stebbins: (muttering into his shoes) Thirty guineas, sir.

Headmaster: Excellent. Right. I want you to go along to see the wife. Give her a full examination, and let me know the results by the end of break. And don't pick your nose!




...........did Stebbins have any other great wins? :confused:

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#2 Doug Nye

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Posted 04 March 2003 - 20:57

:smoking:

Light up another one Dave - don't let go just 'cos England are out of the World Cup ....

DCN

#3 David Beard

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Posted 04 March 2003 - 21:12

Originally posted by Doug Nye
:smoking:

Light up another one Dave - don't let go just 'cos England are out of the World Cup ....

DCN


:confused:

The 250cc karting World Cup at Heysham Head packed up years ago, Doug...or did you mean something else? ;)

#4 Vitesse2

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Posted 04 March 2003 - 21:40

Originally posted by Doug Nye
:smoking:

... just 'cos England are out of the World Cup ....

DCN


We wuz robbed!! :mad:

#5 fines

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Posted 04 March 2003 - 21:43

Just a question: is Stebbins Eric Idle or Michael Palin?

#6 David Beard

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Posted 04 March 2003 - 21:50

Originally posted by fines
Just a question: is Stebbins Eric Idle or Michael Palin?


:clap:

:) Idle

http://www.stone-dea...ce-company.html

#7 Doug Nye

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Posted 04 March 2003 - 22:03

Bone Idle? Or Jerstyn Idleburger??

And yes Richard, indeed we wuz - and so wuz the Windies and Seth Efrica...

DCN

#8 ensign14

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Posted 04 March 2003 - 22:05

I'd like to see John the Baptist's impression of Graham Hill.

#9 Walter Zoomie

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Posted 04 March 2003 - 23:04

...a man with three buttocks....a 50% bonus in the potty department....he's got three cheeks....

#10 Barry Boor

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Posted 04 March 2003 - 23:44

Hey, I've got two sheds........

#11 Barry Boor

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Posted 04 March 2003 - 23:45

No, honestly, I REALLY HAVE got 2 sheds.......

#12 fines

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Posted 05 March 2003 - 01:25

Originally posted by David Beard
http://www.stone-dea...ce-company.html

Strange, I would've thought the Headmaster a perfect role for John Cleese, and maybe Tidwell for Graham Chapman? :drunk:

#13 Allen Brown

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Posted 05 March 2003 - 12:00

Originally posted by Vitesse2


We wuz robbed!! :mad:

Be grateful we weren't in the same group as Kenya...

#14 Roger Clark

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Posted 05 March 2003 - 12:16

Originally posted by David Beard


...........did Stebbins have any other great wins? :confused:


No but he had many wins in F5000, particularly in Chevrons.

#15 h4887

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Posted 11 October 2009 - 19:41

No, honestly, I REALLY HAVE got 2 sheds.......


Photos please!


#16 David Birchall

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Posted 11 October 2009 - 20:53

I've just finished taking a months sabatical from TNF and I am so glad things haven't changed....:)

#17 rdmotorsport

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Posted 11 October 2009 - 21:00

No, honestly, I REALLY HAVE got 2 sheds.......



so your name must be Jackson?

Edited by rdmotorsport, 11 October 2009 - 21:01.


#18 ensign14

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Posted 11 October 2009 - 21:24

Emerson Fittipaldi?!

#19 Mal9444

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Posted 12 October 2009 - 06:19

This silly banter has got to stop! Haven't you guys been reading the Goodwood Revival thread?

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#20 Tim Murray

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Posted 12 October 2009 - 07:59

Emerson Fittipaldi?!

(OT but) one of the first things I learned from TNF is why "Swedish girls blush" (as the relevant post put it) when they hear the name Fittipaldi.

(see this post and its follow-up three posts down if you're curious, but be warned: Contains naughty words :blush: )

#21 Rob

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Posted 12 October 2009 - 08:38

Dinsdale!

#22 RTH

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Posted 12 October 2009 - 09:27

No, honestly, I REALLY HAVE got 2 sheds.......


Time to revive the TNF members Sheds thread !