When people rail about this perceived problem, I always wonder why it bothers them so much. It's like they're trying to defend or hold onto something. What?
Personally, I have always tended toward the view that whenever possible and reasonable, people could be addressed simply as they would like to be addressed. What, is that difficult? It's not a matter of political correctness, simply of good old-fashioned manners.
I would consider it to be a form of arrogance when someone refuses to use a name or a term that has been specifically requested.
I am reminded of the Ali vs. Terrell fight. When Cassius Clay made it known that he was no longer Clay and wished to be known as Ali, for some reason his decision was met with great offense, as if he were committing some kind of crime. (Those were the times, what can you say.) One opponent, Ernie Terrell, refused to honor Ali's his wish and taunted him with the name Clay. Now, Ali could have easily knocked out Terrell early, but he didn't. Instead, he carried Terrell around the ring for the full 15 rounds, holding him up with one glove and pounding him in the face with the other, repeating with every blow, "What's my name? What's my name?" It was what we would call today a teachable moment.
Glad you mentioned this. I had been thinking about making this point, but you've done a good job in recounting the story. Thanks!