45 replies to this topic

[Mal9444]

It is not the purpose of what follows to cause offence – rather, the reverse: a bit of light-heartedness intended to leaven what sometimes goes on elsewhere. If anyone mentioned is offended – say so, and I am sure TW will quickly kill the thread.

However…

If TNF were a school (and I suppose I mean English Public School, if the non-Brits will forgive me, and of course whatever the equivalent establishment for somewhat self-absorbed boys with their own rituals and language might be in your part of the world) – whom would we see in what role?

David, surely, would have to be Headmaster: astonishingly well-read and learned, the font of much knowledge, the final arbiter of virtually every esoteric query and – demonstrably – the firm hand of discipline, not inclined to suffer fools or – much worse – lazy little boys who clearly have not done their homework and are trying to bluff their way through the lesson. David’s nickname among those of us in the Lower Fourth would have to be… what? Freezer, perhaps? Or The Boss? Or – depending on your own school background – maybe The Beak.

DCN’s nickname would obviously have to be The Prof. Professor Nye. One of the senior members of the Junior Common Room. Been teaching at the school since the Old King died. No less well read and informed than The Beak, he usually stays more in the background, despite the eagerness of virtually the entire school to hear his take on any topic. The Prof has mixed and mingled with all the Elder Statesmen of the world and knows many of them by the first name. If The Prof doesn’t know about it, it didn’t happen. While The Beak teaches Maths and Science, The Prof teaches History, Philosophy and Liberal Studies. And has been known to send young Phelpersham-Smythe from J3G down to the corner shop for a packet of cigarettes during class-time (‘and if The Boss sees you, you're going for drawing pins’).

Barry, obviously, is Head of Metalwork and Technical Drawing, but also runs the school Model Engineering Society and is a leading light in the school Camera Club: his scrapbook is the envy of everyone.

Not sure whether Bjorn is a teacher, or one of senior Boys: whichever way, he is clearly a Scholarship winner big time. Every time there is a school outing, Bjorn is the first to identify the make, model and year of the bus as it turns in the school gates to pick us all up. He also has the most astonishing train set, with rolling stock from all round the world.

Donald came to teaching late and spends more time with small tutorials rather than in the class room. His slightly conjectural delivery occasionally prompts the more precocious boys to question his judgement, which is when the shallowness of their impertinent probing is laid bare by the length and depth of his experience. A bit like the quiet chap in the corner who doesn’t mention the fact that he was a top-scoring fighter pilot until someone asks him if he has ever actually been up in an aeroplane.

I could go on – but I think you’ve got the drift by now. Anyone care to join in? Good natured comment only, please.

Me? Grammar school type, obviously, and something of a Johnny-come-lately. Here on some sort of Bursary, obviously, since there’s plainly no family money or heritage (doesn't even own a decent car - drives a Seat Ibiza). Missed prep school entirely and only arrived at the end of third form, by which time everyone else had known each other since childhood. Slowly learning to listen more than speak.

[Barry Boor]

Without doubt Roger Clark is the top student. Knowledge far surpassing that of the rest of the school put together, probably!

[Mal9444]

Originally posted by Barry Boor
Without doubt Roger Clark is the top student. Knowledge far surpassing that of the rest of the school put together, probably!

So we make him the Head Boy then, do we? Or do we do the real English public school thing and give him a title that only Insiders will know what it means - such as Captain of Rivets?

[Roger Clark]

Originally posted by Barry Boor
Without doubt Roger Clark is the top student. Knowledge far surpassing that of the rest of the school put together, probably!

Up yours, Boor!

[Mal9444]

[David Beard]

Originally posted by Barry Boor
Without doubt Roger Clark is the top student. Knowledge far surpassing that of the rest of the school put together, probably!

I second that. My ambition is to one day successfully correct him. :

[Gokart Mozart]

Since I just graduated from college, I think that I should get dibs on being the student who's always late for class, and thinks that it is alright to park on the grass outside of the classroom...with a 100 yard trail of fresh dirt dug up from braking at the last moment...;)

Does anyone have an extra pen?

Chaotically Yours,

Jacques N. Dresang

[petefenelon]

I even look like molesworth , although he lacks a beard.

hem hem as any fule kno MOTOR RACING is sport of tuoughs roters snekes cads ect ect ect. SO READ ON... & who won Mrs Joyful prize for rafia work and formmmula 3 in 1958 eh? another win for grabber major in the Peason Atommick Speshial?

[Mal9444]

I must say - the back row of the Lower Fourth is filling very nicely. I didn't unnerstand a word of what old molesworth said - which I think is probably exactly as it should be.

But we need more teachers - if only to tell us orf.

I think Bjorn should be the student teacher - stuck in the staff room, but actually would much rather be round the back of the bike sheds having a drag. And for any American students joining either pupils or staff - that's a cigarette, not a form of motor sport.;)

[Cirrus]

hem hem as any fule kno MOTOR RACING is sport of tuoughs roters snekes cads ect ect ect. SO READ ON... & who won Mrs Joyful prize for rafia work and formmmula 3 in 1958 eh? another win for grabber major in the Peason Atommick Speshial?

See - txt spk hs exstd 4 yrs

[Cirrus]

OOH SIR! SIR! SIR!

Can I nominate Sebastian Bourdais as the kid who came top in Chemistry?

[dretceterini]

I guess I would be the professor with 3 students, as not many seem interested in the automotive obscuria that is of most interest to me; namely etceterinis...

[Stefan Ornerdal]

Is there any place for me? As the shy boy somewhere in the back, just listening and learning?

Stefan
stefan.ormerdal@minmail.net
www.formula2.net

[Mal9444]

Originally posted by Stefan Ornerdal
Is there any place for me? As the shy boy somewhere in the back, just listening and learning?

Stefan
stefan.ormerdal@minmail.net
www.formula2.net

I hope all are welcome at TNF College. That's the point of it.

[Bjorn Kjer]

Dare I say something : Rob Ryder for all files and library!

And mark this, its not a question , but a something else :

WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS !

[Frank de Jong]

Originally posted by Stefan Ornerdal
Is there any place for me? As the shy boy somewhere in the back, just listening and learning?

Stefan
stefan.ormerdal@minmail.net
www.formula2.net

Stefan, can I sit next to you? Seems we have been dropped in here due to some international exchange program - I have no idea what's going on here...

[Bjorn Kjer]

[macoran]

Originally posted by Frank de Jong


Stefan, can I sit next to you? Seems we have been dropped in here due to some international exchange program - I have no idea what's going on here...

There is always a "foreign boys" corner is there ?

[dbw]

how 'bout t54 as Professor of the Dark Arts ??


as you can see all i know about english schools i learned from harry potter and hogwarts....

[Roger Clark]

Can I nominate David Beard as games master?

[Bjorn Kjer]

Often feeling short of using the right words to express my feelings or views in this language,
I do sometimes stumble over a word finding it fitting. So in my alien world , I think that Stefan and Frank as foreigners , wich in my world my is in the same direction as alien , should be told :
GO TO THE THREAD "Louis Chiron" and you will find some clues , why I am part of the releaser ( or the releaser) for this 1.nominee of TNFs winner of gimmicks! l

[Frank de Jong]

That thread must have escaped me - and I'm not too happy to have found it.
But now for something completely different.
I'm sure here as well in class people exchange dirty books without the teacher seeing this. So can I swap a dirty magazine for a programme of the "Bergischer Löwe" 1976?

[Macca]

Can I be the bouncy enthusiastic one who runs the cinema club ( ) and never gets picked for games?


Paul M

[Mal9444]

Originally posted by Macca
Can I be the bouncy enthusiastic one who runs the cinema club ( ) and never gets picked for games?


Paul M

So long as every week you show 1950s sports car movies, and once a month we have The Prof's colour footage from the '55 TT at Dundrod.

[roger ellis]

No, I'm not playing truant... it's just that I did stick my hand up once or twice when I was a new boy, but then I realised I was out of my depth academically in such august company.

Yes, I admit that Cox A has helped me with submitting my homework.

And yes, I am going on the college field trip to Goodwood.

[Macca]

Oh definitely Mal ; as long as fellow-students can stand frequently seeing a certain 1966 feature, with detailed analysis of every frame...............


Paul M


edit: oh, THAT MMc............I think the school will have to have a sailing club too; I used to race dinghies.

[Mal9444]

Originally posted by Macca



edit: oh, THAT MMc............I think the school will have to have a sailing club too; I used to race dinghies. [/B]

Bit old for dinghies, now, I'm afraid, although I did but recently part with my 12sq Metre Sharpie. You know what Uffa used to say: a foot of waterline length for every year of your age. And now we definitely are off topic, big time...

[f1steveuk]

I must be one of the new boys, always having to borrow stuff and losing my way, but learning all the time.

Maybe Blackadders mate, Strangely-Brown is here abouts?

[ensign14]

Originally posted by David Beard


I second that. My ambition is to one day successfully correct him. :

The English teacher must be on strike. One hundred lines, Beard: "I must not split infinitives."

I think I'm the token working class inner-city lad brought in as an experiment to see whether the underclass is capable of mixing with such distinguished company.

[Vitesse2]

Originally posted by ensign14

I think I'm the token working class inner-city lad brought in as an experiment to see whether the underclass is capable of mixing with such distinguished company.

.... and putative barrack-room lawyer? The school rules are over there on the wall >>>

[David Beard]

Originally posted by ensign14

The English teacher must be on strike. One hundred lines, Beard: "I must not split infinitives."

I'll get you at playtime, Ensign.

[Barry Boor]

I'm the token working class inner-city lad

Not the only one, Ens.

Council estate east end of London here, gawd blimey, guv!

[ensign14]

Originally posted by Vitesse2

.... and putative barrack-room lawyer? The school rules are over there on the wall >>>

That stint as President of the Mass Debating Society may come in useful.

[ReWind]

Originally posted by ensign14
That stint as President of the Mass Debating Society may come in useful.

Wow! There's a society for debating the career of Jochen Mass!?

[WDH74]

I'm finding this whole thread a little baffling.....but I haven't even seen the Harry Potter movies so my knowledge of English schools is even less than dbw's. I guess that makes me the custodian.

Do they have that pink vomit dust in England?

-(Groundskeeper) William

[2Bob]

Stan Patterson as the grumpy old colonial cricket coach ("play it with a straight bat you silly little boy").

[2Bob]

I think Bjorn should be the student teacher - stuck in the staff room, but actually would much rather be round the back of the bike sheds having a drag. And for any American students joining either pupils or staff - that's a cigarette, not a form of motor sport.

Bjorn also has responsabilities for the school charabanc as well as the complete history of all school outings detailing different trains and charabancs used and where and when.

[bradbury west]

The very modest Anders Bonde for Senior Professor in charge of Practical Mechanical Design and Engineering, in view of his recent SUCCESS with his FFord car, which won a race at International level in Denmark >>>>

May 27th 2007 – Formula Ford:
Christian Markussen made motor racing history
The Aquila driver took first international win for Danish car

International motor racing history was written on Sunday afternoon at Sturup Raceway, when Christian Markussen took the chequered flag as the first driver in the Formula Ford class. The Dane not only scored maximum points for his home championship, but also won a round of the FIA sanctioned North European Zone Championship, and as he did it by driving the Aquila FZ1 car that Anders Bonde and Dan Suensson had constructed, he took the first international race win for a Danish-built racing car ever!
The Danish Aquila looked as if it was purpose built for the curvy and hilly southern Swedish race circuit. The Dane was second in qualifying behind Finn Mika Vähämäki, and during the first race he shadowed the Finn all the way to the finish. In the second race he made a better start to lead the field, where Miika Hirsimäki and Mika Vähämäki fought hard over second place, slowing down themselves in the process and giving Christian Markussen the possibility of taking the Danish car’s first win with a 2.4 second margin.
>>>>
I reckon credit where credit is due.
With apologies to Anders if it embarrasses him

Roger Lund.

PS.wot, no job for Ray Bell????

[dretceterini]

Originally posted by ReWind
Wow! There's a society for debating the career of Jochen Mass!?

I think he was just Jochen

[Barry Boor]

Given his unbelievable talent on CAD programmes, FW11B HAS to be in charge of the Computer Studies dept.

[Bjorn Kjer]

There are a whole string of capacities on the TNF not named yet , but I have a feeling that some of them perhaps prefer to stay humble ?

As this is an international college the name of Jerry Entin often is to the fore about US racing. But I also noted his contributions often being followed by a "Research by Willem Oosthoek . Now , knowing of his great books on Maserati (also with Michel Bollee) I wonder why he is no member ?

[HDonaldCapps]

Originally posted by Bjørn Kjer
There are a whole string of capacities on the TNF not named yet , but I have a feeling that some of them perhaps prefer to stay humble ?

As this is an international college the name of Jerry Entin often is to the fore about US racing. But I also noted his contributions often being followed by a "Research by Willem Oosthoek . Now , knowing of his great books on Maserati (also with Michel Bollee) I wonder why he is no member ?

Because he was banned. Not sure as to why since it happened while I was dodging IEDs, mortar rounds, and whatnot in the Gulf, but it was certainly the forum's loss.

[Ray Bell]

I think he publicly criticised or humiliated someone he felt was of very dubious character... not realising that they were also a member...

Not sure if I've got that right. For this reason, I'll remain a correspondent student with special research qualifications on colonial subjects.

Unless, of course, I'm invited to a higher post.

As I retain contact with Michael Argetsinger, I feel I hold a position of great privilege anyway, so it doesn't bother me.

[macoran]

Originally posted by Ray Bell
I think he publicly criticised or humiliated someone he felt was of very dubious character... not realising that they were also a member...

Do I read your "thinking"correctly...?

I better watch out who I tell to shut up in the street then...

[HDonaldCapps]

Originally posted by Ray Bell
I think he publicly criticised or humiliated someone he felt was of very dubious character... not realising that they were also a member...

Not sure if I've got that right. For this reason, I'll remain a correspondent student with special research qualifications on colonial subjects.

Unless, of course, I'm invited to a higher post.

As I retain contact with Michael Argetsinger, I feel I hold a position of great privilege anyway, so it doesn't bother me.

Knowing Willem, it was probably justified on his part since I have often found his insight quite, shall we say, in synch with mine.

As a Yank, not sure that I fully comprehend the TNF College structure, much less its culture. I was once on the faculty of The Citadel and that seems to be not entirely unlike what I see being discussed. Sorry, I never quite made "ace" status -- I was only shot down three times, two short of the mark.

[Mal9444]

Originally posted by Mal9444


Donald came to teaching late and spends more time with small tutorials rather than in the class room. His slightly conjectural delivery occasionally prompts the more precocious boys to question his judgement, which is when the shallowness of their impertinent probing is laid bare by the length and depth of his experience. A bit like the quiet chap in the corner who doesn’t mention the fact that he was a top-scoring fighter pilot until someone asks him if he has ever actually been up in an aeroplane.

Donald:wave:
I thought being an 'ace' had to do with the number of times YOU shot THEM down - not the other way around. Perhaps it's something to do with the divisions of our common language, as Churchill phrased it.

Still, I am glad to see that one of the original staff appointments is holding another of his esoteric tutorials. Welcome.