37 replies to this topic

[MPea3]

A friend and I are sitting here wasting time when I should be working and he reminded me of some of the old fake - and humorous - road tests in Road & Track. The ones we remember are

The Electrophant.

The Pogo Stick (headroom and ground clearance both listed as "variable").

The Mercedes Benz GT (garbage truck)

The Jag XKE with the inline 12 cylinder engine.

Were there more? Do I have the ones I've listed correct?

[stevewf1]

Originally posted by MPea3
A friend and I are sitting here wasting time when I should be working and he reminded me of some of the old fake - and humorous - road tests in Road & Track. The ones we remember are

The Electrophant.

The Pogo Stick (headroom and ground clearance both listed as "variable").

The Mercedes Benz GT (garbage truck)

The Jag XKE with the inline 12 cylinder engine.

Were there more? Do I have the ones I've listed correct?

I remember the "XKEE" as one reader called it.

If I recall, they also did a road test on a roller coaster, a road (part of old route 66 ?) and the Budweiser beer wagon...

[B Squared]

Not fake, but the always popular - "Cyclops"
Brian

[stevewf1]

BTW, I'm not sure "fake" is quite the right word. As I recall, R&T put as much effort into these tests (data, graphs and commentary) as most any other road test they did.

[stevewf1]

Originally posted by B Squared
Not fake, but the always popular - "Cyclops"
Brian

Ah yes, the LeMans version with the suitcase and feet propped on the open doors "air brakes"

[dbw]

ah yes; they were usually april fool issues....i was involved with two. the roller coaster and the willis flyer. mostly they were just an excuse for henry manny to put some miles on his motorhome.[i had him camped in my driveway for days].....i also spent a day with a john lamm doing an article for r&t on my amilcar...great memories.

[stevewf1]

In the book "Stories of Road & Track", there is an article on the San Francisco cable car by Tony Hogg. It's just an article, with no charts or graphs, but it's a road test.

[stevewf1]

(Sorry to keep posting on this, but what memories!)

From the Budweiser Beer wagon test, I remember that they had a bit of trouble trying to calculate the fuel mileage because as they put it, "horses idle all the time".

Those tests were funny and fun...

[lanciaman]

The Goodyear Blimp.

The Cyclops of course was a fake, a cartoon creation (by I think Stan Mott) that eventually had so much appeal as to be made into a "real" car.

[VWV]

These "road tests" were always in the April issue......

[JB Miltonian]

I think the first (?) Road & Track spoof test was the "HMS Trials Replica" in September 1959.

From a quick check in the home library, here are the others, up to 1982:

1962: San Francisco Cable Car
1963: London Bus
1964: Morris Major-Mini-Minor
1965: None
1966: Gresley A3 Pacific Locomotive
1967: Sopwith Camel F.1
1968: Electrophant
1969: Greyhound Bus
1970: Mercedes Benz GT (Garbage Truck)
1971: (January) Jaguar XK-EE 12
1972: Goodyear Blimp
1973: Hop Rod Pogo Stick
1974: Maserati MT-3 Bicycle
1975: Cal Poly Rose Parade Float
1976: None
1977: Arrow JP 770 DW Roller Coaster Car
1978: Quantu-Motion Motorboard (motorized skateboard)
1979: Soarmaster C5A Commuter Special (motorized hang glider)
1980: Willis Flyer (laydown go-cart)
1981: Budweiser Clydesdale 8-Horse Hitch
1982: Route 66 "road" test

[Kerb Bouncer]

I remember several of these, and I was about to add the Goodyear blimp to the list! Thanks for the comprehensive listing.
What I remember with the blimp and the sideways shadow profile that was always with the vehicle data. The blimp, being longer than it was wide, seemed mildly phallic in that aspect.

Mike

[lanciaman]

Originally posted by JB Miltonian
I think the first (?) Road & Track spoof test was the "HMS Trials Replica" in September 1959.

From a quick check in the home library, here are the others, up to 1982:

1962: San Francisco Cable Car
1963: London Bus
1964: Morris Major-Mini-Minor
1965: None
1966: Gresley A3 Pacific Locomotive
1967: Sopwith Camel F.1
1968: Electrophant
1969: Greyhound Bus
1970: Mercedes Benz GT (Garbage Truck)
1971: (January) Jaguar XK-EE 12
1972: Goodyear Blimp
1973: Hop Rod Pogo Stick
1974: Maserati MT-3 Bicycle
1975: Cal Poly Rose Parade Float
1976: None
1977: Arrow JP 770 DW Roller Coaster Car
1978: Quantu-Motion Motorboard (motorized skateboard)
1979: Soarmaster C5A Commuter Special (motorized hang glider)
1980: Willis Flyer (laydown go-cart)
1981: Budweiser Clydesdale 8-Horse Hitch
1982: Route 66 "road" test

Speaking of the unparalleled Cyclops...where is it? Surely I remember a full-blown road test of it.... (Europe ran short of Cinzano signs because of the works' manufacturing specs.)

[Frank S]

This:



" (Clickable Banner: Visit the Home Of CYCLOPS)
Maybe the greatest automobile saga of the 20th century")
at one time led to this:
http://www.cyclops.force9.co.uk/frames/cyclops.html
a complete Cyclops site, with history, photos, and model discriminations.
It was a Dead or Abandoned Link as early as 2006-07-27, likely earlier; maybe they'll come back ...

Google doesn't seem to find any corresponding site today. Anyone happen to save the entire site?

[ensign14]

The Internet Wayback Machine is your friend.

[JB Miltonian]

The next 15 years of Road & Track "spoofs":

1983: Sedan Chair
1984: Kenworth W900 Aerodyne
1985: KSC 554,756 Hardtop (Space shuttle hauler)
1986: Pontiac 0-77 Excitement Hot Air Balloon
1987: Six Italian Urban Electrics (Bumper cars)
1988: Queen Elizabeth 2 versus Concorde
1989: None
1990: North American Mustang P-51D
1991: Hover Dynamics RX2000 (Hovercar)
1992: Runyan Racing 20DT (Dog sled)
1993: JPL Rocky IV Microrover (Martian surface rover)
1994: Three Great Subterrainean Transport Systems (London, Paris, and Tokyo Subways)
1995: America 3 (America's Cup Yacht)
1996: Indiana Jones Adventure Troop Transport Ride
1997: 1958 Porsche Junior (Tractor)

[Frank S]

Originally posted by ensign14
The Internet Wayback Machine is your friend.

It certainly is! Thank you; I had plumb forgot about that.

--
Frank Sheffield
San Diego CA
USA

[helioseism]

Latest one from April 2008 was Speed Racer's Mach 5.

[RA Historian]

Originally posted by stevewf1
[BFrom the Budweiser Beer wagon test, I remember that they had a bit of trouble trying to calculate the fuel mileage because as they put it, "horses idle all the time".[/B]

Not to mention the lack of emissions controls..............
Tom

[swintex]

Autocar Christmas road tests anyone?

I'm sure I remember the space shuttle and HMS Ark Royal among them.

Richard

[RA Historian]

Then there were the R&T self parodies, "Rod & Truck", featuring such articles as "How to raise your antenna in three easy steps".

Those were a hoot. Unfortunately, it seems that the R&T of the past several years has descended to that level unintentionally....
Tom

[Glengavel]

The only Autocar Christmas test I can actually remember was the Harrier. Very impressive top speed, but fuel consumption was a bit heavy.

[chuckbrandt]

The one I remember is the huge tracked vehicle used at kennedy space center to move the shuttle / rockets to the launch pad. Top speed was like 4 mph.

http://en.wikipedia....ler-transporter

Chuck

[cheapracer]

Australia had a Guy that did similar tests such as a roadsweeper - maybe someone can remember him, wore a tweed hat and could never see his face properly (disguised).

[cheapracer]

Seem to remember his name may have been Ramsey or Romesey?

[GreenMachine]

Originally posted by cheapracer
Seem to remember his name may have been Ramsey or Romesey?

Ahhh... memories of Sports Car World

Romsey Quints iirc, aka Bill Tuckey. I enjoyed his idiocyncratic views and offbeat humour, still have one story which I ripped out of the magazine...

[cheapracer]

Thats the one, cheers ;)

[Dave Ware]

I had thought Road and Track and spoofed the test of a Lotus 78, but perhaps it was Car and Driver. I believed they were spoofing Consumer Reports as much as a spoof of the car. In any case, they found the car lacking for general highway use.

One of the best parts was an issue or two later, when a reader wrote to say that he had been considering a Lotus 78, and thanks to their review, bought a Brabham BT44 instead!

[Lee Nicolle]

Romnsey Quints did some very serious road tests. A Euclid Scraper, a Wayne street sweeper, a Mr Whippy Icecream van, an army APC and a Dennis fire engine in Wheels and sports Car world in the early 70s.
I have a mag ," Of cars and Men", which is the supposed pick of the writings of an extremely rude gentleman over 10 years.Published I guess late 70s. Is very funny and cynical!

[stevewf1]

Originally posted by RA Historian
Then there were the R&T self parodies, "Rod & Truck", featuring such articles as "How to raise your antenna in three easy steps".

Those were a hoot. Unfortunately, it seems that the R&T of the past several years has descended to that level unintentionally....
Tom

I seem to remember they at least had an article (don't remember if was an actual test) where this guy took a '59 Chevy(?) and took the body off then re-mounted it backwards. When the car was driven "normally", it looked like it was going in reverse.

[B Squared]

I remember that as a P.S. with the photo showing it crossing a bridge. It was really a sight!

Brian

[fester82]

Wasn't it Sam Posey that wrote the road test of the Runyan sleddog team?

[JB Miltonian]

It was indeed Mr Posey who did the sleddog test. He had covered the Iditarod race for "Wide World of Sports" on ABC.

[fbarrett]

Friends:

Rodent Rack had--and may still have--a mock-up of the Cyclops on display in its Newport Beach office.

Frank

[Ray Bell]

Originally posted by cheapracer
Australia had a Guy that did similar tests such as a roadsweeper - maybe someone can remember him, wore a tweed hat and could never see his face properly (disguised).

Romsey Quints appeared before an unsuspecting public in Sports Car World (K G Murray - Kenmure Press) about 1962.

His columns visited the various motoring and motor racing scenes of the times, looking from an obscure angle at times but often hitting the nails squarely on their heads. Romsey often spoke of his son, Fred Markone, and he frequently touched on road safety subjects, in particular the wrong directions in which the policing of public roads was heading.

I didn't like his obituary for Lex Davison, I thought it was out of place, but that may well put me in a small club.

Most people on the 'inside' knew that Bill Tuckey was the man behind the name, but I still encounter people today who never knew. I can't remember now whether or not Peter Brock knew when I first met him, but I can say for a certainty that Brocky was an avid Quints reader.

[Frank S]

I have a copy of an actual book ("Royal Road Test") by Mason Williams, an actual writer ("Smothers Brothers Show") and guitarist/composer ("Classical Gas"). The slim volume evaluates and records, in pictures and text, the performance of a Royal typewriter when thrown from a fast-moving car in the Mojave Desert.

His next published effort was not nearly as popular, as slim, or as wieldy: "Greyhound Bus" was one page, a single sheet which when unfolded revealed a full-size image of the subject.

--
Frank Sheffield
San Diego CA
USA

[GreenMachine]

Originally posted by Ray Bell




Most people on the 'inside' knew that Bill Tuckey was the man behind the name...

You didn't need to be 'in the know', I certainly wasn't, all you had to do was read RQ then Bill, and it was pretty obvious - he couldn't help the quintisms ;) . Still fun, even if you knew who it was.

[RA Historian]

Originally posted by stevewf1
I seem to remember they at least had an article (don't remember if was an actual test) where this guy took a '59 Chevy(?) and took the body off then re-mounted it backwards. When the car was driven "normally", it looked like it was going in reverse.

Yep, that was in Rod & Truck