Yep, that's the one.You mean the guy who won the Indy 500, the Indycar title, the F1 title, came close to winning Le Mans and earned 20 mil a year? That Jackass?
2 votes
F1 Jokes
Started by
908T
, Aug 15 2012 11:58
87 replies to this topic
#51
Sakae
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Posted 20 September 2012 - 16:46
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#52
Sakae
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Posted 20 September 2012 - 17:00
Motorsport Aktuell | old interview with Montoya
Never liked "inferior" F1 racing before he was hired by a British team despite some of his rather unconventional statements (just like JV), and he did not like it after he left. It's all joke to him.
”F1 is a joke,” he said. “It’s sad they can build cars like that — just look at the new noses.”
Never liked "inferior" F1 racing before he was hired by a British team despite some of his rather unconventional statements (just like JV), and he did not like it after he left. It's all joke to him.
#53
aray
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Posted 20 September 2012 - 17:12
a meme as a joke 
Edited by aray, 20 September 2012 - 17:14.
#55
Cacarella
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Posted 20 September 2012 - 18:22
Felipe Massa
I've heard that one before
#56
Longtimefan
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Posted 20 September 2012 - 20:19
F1 Jokes huh?
I've got a great one... Mercedes
I've got a great one... Mercedes
#57
Dolph
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Posted 20 September 2012 - 20:44
F1 Jokes huh?
I've got a great one... Mercedes
This is a thread about F1 related jokes not about which team you like or don't like.
And what exactly you don't like about Mercedes? The fact that they have been in 3 years more succesful than Honda or Toyota ever were in their recent incarnations?
#59
Longtimefan
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Posted 20 September 2012 - 21:14
This is a thread about F1 related jokes not about which team you like or don't like.
And what exactly you don't like about Mercedes? The fact that they have been in 3 years more succesful than Honda or Toyota ever were in their recent incarnations?
I don't like the fact they are a waste of time and wasting Schumi's last years with that shitbox of a car. but thats besides the point.
Now jokes hmm..
Q:Whats the difference between a golf ball and an Andrea Moda?
A:You can easily drive a golf ball more than 100 yards.
Edited by Longtimefan, 20 September 2012 - 21:16.
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#60
UPRC
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Posted 20 September 2012 - 22:34
Here's one I just thought up off the top of my head.
Q: Why did Schumacher cross the road?
A: To ram Barrichello into the barrier.
Q: Why did Schumacher cross the road?
A: To ram Barrichello into the barrier.
#61
Kingshark
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Posted 26 March 2013 - 15:20
These are a few I found on another blog, F1Fanatic; and to be more specific, this article:
http://www.f1fanatic...olicy-mercedes/
Of course, with the last one being signature material.
http://www.f1fanatic...olicy-mercedes/
Yo mama so ugly, the FIA allowed a modesty panel to be installed on her face next season.
Yo mama so fat, she couldn’t fit in Nigel Mansell’s second McLaren chassis.
Yo mama so ugly, Red Bull built a fence around her during pre-season testing.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat down once in Belgium, she created Eau Rouge.
Of course, with the last one being signature material.
Yo mama so fat, Adrian Newey couldn’t make her aerodynamic!
Edited by Kingshark, 26 March 2013 - 15:21.
#62
danmills
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Posted 26 March 2013 - 17:33
Something I made YEARS ago, an F1 take on the classic Koala and Lizard joke...
Was amusing when I did it back in the day...
Was amusing when I did it back in the day...
Edited by danmills, 26 March 2013 - 17:41.
#64
ensign14
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Posted 26 March 2013 - 18:31
How many McLaren mechanics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Doesn't matter, they still won't put the old one back.
Doesn't matter, they still won't put the old one back.
#65
encircled
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#67
Crossmax
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Posted 26 March 2013 - 18:53
How many Force India mechanics does it take to change a lightbulb?How many McLaren mechanics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Doesn't matter, they still won't put the old one back.
Doesn't matter, it can't be done.
#68
michal2009b
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Posted 26 March 2013 - 18:59
Sebastian 'I didn't it on purpose' Vettel
#69
Sausage
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Posted 26 March 2013 - 19:01
Here's one I just thought up off the top of my head.
Q: Why did Schumacher cross the road?
A: To ram Barrichello into the barrier.
#70
DampMongoose
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Posted 26 March 2013 - 19:48
Heard one that was somewhat near the mark the other day...
What's got 5 eyes, 5 ears and can't stop giving controversial opinions...
I wonder if anyone can guess the punchline?
What's got 5 eyes, 5 ears and can't stop giving controversial opinions...
I wonder if anyone can guess the punchline?
#72
TheUltimateWorrier
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Posted 26 March 2013 - 23:52
Ukyo Katayama heard a good joke a few years ago. 
Q: What's your most embarrassing moment?
A: When I was asked in a press conference: what is the worst practical joke I've had played on me? I thought I'd been asked what was the worst joke I'd ever heard, so I said it was the elephant talking to the snake in the jungle, who said: "Hello snake, you've got strange skin and no ears, you must be Niki Lauda"!
#73
Briz
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Posted 27 March 2013 - 00:10
Heard one that was somewhat near the mark the other day...
What's got 5 eyes, 5 ears and can't stop giving controversial opinions...
I wonder if anyone can guess the punchline?
Helmut Laudatore?
#74
DampMongoose
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Posted 27 March 2013 - 09:56
Helmut Laudatore?
Pretty much it right there Briz... although Stewart found his name in the one I heard, rather than Flav!
#75
Nemo1965
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Posted 27 March 2013 - 10:32
Okay, lets try to make variations.
A polar bear is allowed to test a F1 car. He makes a couple of laps, comes in and says: 'I think the car needs..................more downforce.' The engineer says: 'Why the long pause?' The bear says: 'Dunno, my mother had them too.'
I'll get my hat.
#76
Wiggy
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Posted 27 March 2013 - 11:26
What's the difference between Vettel and God?
God knows he isn't Vettel.
God knows he isn't Vettel.
#77
Wiggy
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Posted 27 March 2013 - 11:27
A snake and a rabbit met each other in the dark.
“What do you look like?”, the snake asked.
“I've got long ears, two big hind legs and a fluffy tail.”
“Aha”, the snake said, “then you must be a rabbit.”
“Yes, I am. What do you look like?” the rabbit asked.
“I'm bald all over my body and I've got no ears” the snake said.
“Ah.” the rabbit said, “then you must be Niki Lauda.”
“What do you look like?”, the snake asked.
“I've got long ears, two big hind legs and a fluffy tail.”
“Aha”, the snake said, “then you must be a rabbit.”
“Yes, I am. What do you look like?” the rabbit asked.
“I'm bald all over my body and I've got no ears” the snake said.
“Ah.” the rabbit said, “then you must be Niki Lauda.”
#78
LeonardoV
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Posted 27 March 2013 - 12:06
How many colombians drove for Williams?
...just Juan
...just Juan
#79
DampMongoose
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Posted 27 March 2013 - 12:26
Okay, lets try to make variations.
A polar bear is allowed to test a F1 car. He makes a couple of laps, comes in and says: 'I think the car needs..................more downforce.' The engineer says: 'Why the long pause?' The bear says: 'Dunno, my mother had them too.'
I'll get my hat.
Ok if we're churning out old ones in an f1 style...
Eddie Jordan and David Coulthard are walking in the woods and see a forestry commission sign,
"TREE FELLERS WANTED"
Jordan turns to David and says "if only Jake was here, we could have gotten the job!"
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#80
Jejking
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Posted 27 March 2013 - 12:53
What the hell did I just readSomething I made YEARS ago, an F1 take on the classic Koala and Lizard joke...
Was amusing when I did it back in the day...
#81
KTF1
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Posted 27 March 2013 - 13:13
Whats the difference between a golf ball and an Andrea Moda?
You can easily drive a golf ball more than 18 meters
You can easily drive a golf ball more than 18 meters
#82
tjkoyen
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Posted 27 March 2013 - 16:24
Why couldn't the Force India crew get any action in bed?
Because they frantically play with their nuts for 10 minutes before realizing they are never going to get it on and give up.
Because they frantically play with their nuts for 10 minutes before realizing they are never going to get it on and give up.
#83
TheWilliamzer
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Posted 27 March 2013 - 18:56
Lewis: "Multi 69, Nicole!"
#85
paulrobs
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Posted 27 March 2013 - 21:21
Actually knowing Mclaren they probably call their trophy cabinet the 'Vodafone Mclaren Mercedes Optimised Shiny Object Storage Device' or something like that.
#86
paulrobs
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Posted 27 March 2013 - 21:22
Name 4 Scottish places that share their name with F1 drivers past and present.
Answers:
Lewis Hamilton
Stirling Moss
Johnny Dumfries
and....
Ayr Town Centre
Awesome
#87
R Soul
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Posted 27 March 2013 - 23:27
Little Chris Horner,
Sat in the corner,
Trying to calm Seb down;
But with a big grin,
Seb went for the win,
Then they both wore a dubious frown.
Sat in the corner,
Trying to calm Seb down;
But with a big grin,
Seb went for the win,
Then they both wore a dubious frown.
#88
eronrules
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Posted 27 March 2013 - 23:58
Little Chris Horner,
Sat in the corner,
Trying to calm Seb down;
But with a big grin,
Seb went for the win,
Then they both wore a dubious frown.
i wish i learned this in kindergarten ....
maybe for the future generation ;)
Edited by eronrules, 27 March 2013 - 23:58.
