43 replies to this topic

[Buttoneer]

Shock news;

Flavio Briatore could be readying to burst back into formula one.

Germany's Auto Motor und Sport said the ousted and formerly banned Italian is busily writing regulations for a 'GP1' championship.

They could be adopted should the FIA not sign up to the 2013 Concorde Agreement, according to the report.

Sourcey

Inspired by this post about the news, I thought that the combined minds of the Atlas F1 community could offer Briatore a little help and write some fabulous rules that he would be proud of.

But first, the rules of the thread;

1. No thong photo's.
2. Please keep within the forum rules, and be especially mindful of avoiding defamatory remarks please. Of course that still leaves quite a lot of wriggle room considering who we're talking about.
3. Thong photo's are unwelcome.
4. GP1 is a proposed motor sport, so keep it relevant.
5. All aspects of motor sport are fair game.
6. Please only post one rule at a time. Spamming the FIA technical and sporting regs won't be fun.
7. Absolutely no thong pictures.
8. References to Flavio's own sporting achievements and F1 heritage are encouraged.
9. Rules can cover technical, sporting, team, driver, circuit and fashion headings.
10. If you take from rule 9 that thongs might be on topic, see rule 1.
11. Do not ignore rule 1. This is so important, I had to go up to 11.

Most of all, have fun.

I'll start;

Sporting Reg
All new drivers to be available for poaching by any interested racing team on completion of their first race weekend, matters to be concluded before their second.

Qualifying positions are to be decided by the results of a penalty shootout tournament against QPR goalkeeper Júlio César Soares Espíndola. Yes, I had to look that up because no, I don't know the names of any of QPR footballists.

Technical Reg
Teams may pay an undisclosed sum to the organiser for the right to ignore one technical rule per season. However, the FIA stewards will not be told which rule each team is breaking and, if they work it out, the team must revert to obeying that rule. Any payment made to ignore the rule is non refundable, and any points gained up to and including the weekend in which the contravention is discovered will be safe.

Fashion Rules
All television anchors in the paddock to wear clothing by 'Billionaire'

Yutaw Taw!

[HaydenFan]

I wouldn't mind a mix of 2008 with the current rules. The suggestions for a hybrid idea is good, but a smaller engine with a turbo would also work to push the series in appealing to the "green" movement.

A consistent rules package. Freeze regulations (does not mean freeze development or innovation) for a said period to keep significant changes that cost money down.

Edited by HaydenFan, 29 April 2013 - 15:11.

[Rob]

Any mention of "for sure" is an automatic 5 point penalty. Negative scores are allowed.

[SophieB]

This is a sport for the rich, glamorous and elite and this should be reflected in all its aspects. The champagne on the podium is a good start but there is more to be done. To this end, drivers on the podium will not wear something so frankly common as baseball caps. The top three drivers will instead wear top hats and monocles.

[noikeee]

Technical regulations

3 DRS-like buttons. One opens up a giant rear wing flap (like 5 times bigger than the one now), another gives 200 extra horsepower, the third drops puddles of oil for the pursuing car. The driver gets an unknown number of uses per race for each button, and does not know prior to the race which button does what. DRS zones shall be everything but the straights.

Sporting regulations

Reverse safety cars. In order to spice up the boring periods of racing under the safety car, all cars must make a U-turn and drive the track on reverse gear. Since reverse gear is slower, it's safer to race so they are allowed to overtake the safety car and go as fast as they can. On reverse.

Fashion regulations

The livery of every car must have at least 5 distinctly different colors.

[Fastcake]

Each car is to be equipped with a remotely operated engine detonator. This is to be operated by both the teams and the series organiser. The team will have access to it to force a safety car out to benefit their number one driver - you know in case their lapdog refuses to crash - while Briatore gets to blow up any car he wants to spruce up the action.

[DarthWillie]

Safety belts should be worn like a thong

[OO7]

I can't describe how close I came to posting the thong picture.

[ForeverF1]

I can't describe how close I came to posting the thong picture.

Congratulations on your personal fortitude.

[Cavani]

any team applying teamorder will be rewarded with 20 points

[TimRTC]

Teams may only be sponsored by either tobacco and alcohol firms or by shady Middle Eastern states. Energy drinks strictly banned.

[ForeverF1]

Can I sell T shirts? OK, whatever, carry on.

[Kobasmashi]

Teams may only be sponsored by either tobacco and alcohol firms or by shady Middle Eastern states. Energy drinks strictly banned.

Don't forget condom brands

[Atreiu]

Tech geeks, what would happen if there was a power output limit?





Basically, race whatever you want with 4 wheels, weight limit of 550kg - driver excluded - no refueling up to the designated safety standards and no more than 700hp. 10 engines per season max, excluded those used in testing.

[SR388]

Fashion reg: At no point shall any team personnel including drivers apply an anti-perspirant to their underarms. Violation of this rule will be punished with the wearing of the thong of shame.

[Kvothe]

After 50% of the racing distance has been reached, all drivers will be required to turn around and drive the rest of the race on the circuit backwards

Edited by Kvothe, 29 April 2013 - 21:46.

[Tenmantaylor]

They need to increase the track to at least 1900mm, preferably 2000. Get the cars rotating again, squarer like a go kart. Larger optimum slip angle, less stable in high speed corners via reduced aero. Bring the front wings inboard of the front wheels to stop all those broken winglets and punctures. Single wing elements only with a maximum vertical dimension of the aero surface to reduce design window without taking away advertising space. Underbody aero rules stay as is or maybe relaxed slightly to make up for the wing losses but won't cause dirty air to ruin racing.

Tech geeks, what would happen if there was a power output limit?





Basically, race whatever you want with 4 wheels, weight limit of 550kg - driver excluded - no refueling up to the designated safety standards and no more than 700hp. 10 engines per season max, excluded those used in testing.

It's enforcing it thats the problem. Dynos on the grid? Suppose with the mandated ECU they could detect it but the last thing F1 needs is telemetry-gate. It's better the way it is.

I honestly think hp should be more than it is currently. It's too easy for most the drivers and only the really crap tyres make it look tricky for them. F1 was the richer for the V10s. The cars sounded better and aero was more varied as the reward for low drag was bigger. Remeber Ferrari vs BMW at Monza 01-03 with completely different df levels? It makes me die a little inside when F1 cars dont regularly break 200mph on the straights.

Get rid of the rev limit and all engine format rules and just assign a fixed amount of fuel per race. Only then will we see green tech truly flourish via increased KERS usage and more road applicable efficiency technologies. This would hinder less funded teams but that could be offset with forced technology sharing or more homologation of engines and drivetrain tech.

Sorry for going OT. I'll add that in true Flavio spirit cheating will be rewarded with points for cunningness, underhandedness and dastardliness. For e.g Piquet would have got 5 points for agreeing to cheat and Alonso 10 for benefitting with Renault recieving a x2 cheat points multiplyer of 30 WCC points (winning cheaters championships).

Edited by Tenmantaylor, 29 April 2013 - 22:33.

[Buttoneer]

If we want GP1 to go green, we can use electric power provided to the vehicle from metal tracks either side of a small slot into which the cars are fixed by way of a runner device that fits neatly into it. The drivers will operate the cars from inside the cockpit by a simple handheld mechanism which has only a trigger.

[TheWilliamzer]

-Biting a fellow driver earns you 10 places grid penalty.

[R Soul]

- If a driver crashes and causes a safety car, at the end of the safety car period his team mate will have to yield positions to every other driver currently on the same lap. For the sake of transparency.

[TimRTC]

- If a driver crashes and causes a safety car, at the end of the safety car period his team mate will have to yield positions to every other driver currently on the same lap. For the sake of transparency.

Lets do away with this whole safety car rubbish and caution flags. Crashes = ratings so only slick tyres, no warning flags and no penalty points can be given. Extra points are awarded for items of body-work missing while still being able to run.

[solochamp07]

Le Mans starts!

[AlexS]

GP1 should follow Wacky Races. There should be Dick Dastardly, Muttley hihihihi! ...Penelope... well maybe more than one Penelope...

[Rob G]

While the top three finishers get champagne, Flavio gets tiramisu. Lots and lots of tiramisu.

[andrewr]

- If a driver crashes and causes a safety car, at the end of the safety car period his team mate will have to yield positions to every other driver currently on the same lap. For the sake of transparency.

[FPV GTHO]

Serious comment - IIRC Flav made a comment years ago about F1 going to a spring race format.

[bourbon]

Shock news;


Sourcey

Inspired by this post about the news, I thought that the combined minds of the Atlas F1 community could offer Briatore a little help and write some fabulous rules that he would be proud of.

1. Snipers surrounding the track to blow out tyres and take out all of Alonso's competition - because you know, that's safe.
2. Directional arrows pointing toward walls so that drivers can crash into them allowing Alonso to win, cuz you know, nothing will happen.
3. Bombs planted at strategic corners - you know, just tiny ones - so that the wheels are blown off of all the cars by radio control, so Alonso can win, cuz nothing will go wrong.
4. Engine sabotagers brought in to tinker with the engines of Alonso's competitors so that he can win - because that isn't risky!

Surely Briatore would be proud.

Edited by bourbon, 30 April 2013 - 06:08.

[Fastcake]

-Biting a fellow driver earns you 10 places grid penalty.

Surely in Flav's championship that would be a 10 place bonus?

[Jovanotti]

Brilliant thread

any team applying teamorder will be rewarded with 20 points

Or, alternatively, every team has to apply team orders at least once during a race.

Italian is the official language of the sport. If you speak a different language, use of Italian accent is strongly encouraged.

Women: only certified models will be granted Paddock accreditation (apply directly at: Flavio Briatore, Flavio's boat, harbour, please).

[maverick69]

Sporting Regulations:

1.2.7 Drivers must wear "Sumo Suits" at all times, except for when they are in the car or in their designated private space. This includes podium ceremonies and the official press conferences.

[7MGTEsup]

- Drivers must change their own wheels in pit stops.

- For each race you win you have to chug that many beers on the podium after the race.

- You get points for laps lead (1 point per lap) and pole psoition only.

[Buttoneer]

Sporting Reg
You hava ta leava the room. Always you hava ta leava the room.

Technical Reg
The little visors on the front of the cockpit which pretend to be windscreens must be shaped like a large pair of gaudy Dolce & Gabanna sunglasses, complete with gold and crystal bling.

Fashion Reg
For those driver photo's you see when the TV companies are showing the grid, they each have to adopt the pose of either Magnum or Blue Steel.

[Slackbladder]

Spinkler system: oh wait that's Bernie

Medal system..oh wait....

[DarthWillie]

Fashion Reg
For those driver photo's you see when the TV companies are showing the grid, they each have to adopt the pose of either Magnum or Blue Steel.

Refueling will be done by mechanics in shorts to make it more interresting for the viewers (not thongs, those would be to dangerous )

[Clatter]

- Drivers must change their own wheels in pit stops.

- For each race you win you have to chug that many beers on the podium after grid 2 minutes before the race.

- You get points for laps lead (1 point per lap) and pole psoition only.

Just to spice things up.

Edited by Clatter, 30 April 2013 - 21:00.

[ardbeg]

1. 1 Gearboxes must only operate in cyclic mode and only move in one direction. After 7th gear comes 1st. After each gear change, the button that initiates the change is disabled for 1 second + gear number

At the start, smoke must come from the tires and skid marks must be at least 38 yards. Penaly for a sissy start is a Stop & Change to pink gloves & Go. Unless the driver is a woman, in which case the penalty is driving lessons with Sir Jackie Stewart

[stillOrange]

Pits stops to be done by female only teams in bikinis (hijabs in Muslim countries).
After tire changes etc. car and team has to wait mandatory 5 seconds for photo opportunity purposes.

Mandatory in-car interview with race leader during the race.

I might be crossing the line here but .... Bunga bunga parties instead of top 3 press conference.

[Les]

Flav introduces the dress code, the Yutaw Taw Collection.

[Buttoneer]

At the start, smoke must come from the tires and skid marks must be at least 38 yards. Penaly for a sissy start is a Stop & Change to pink gloves & Go. Unless the driver is a woman, in which case the penalty is driving lessons with Sir Jackie Stewart

Pits stops to be done by female only teams in bikinis (hijabs in Muslim countries).
After tire changes etc. car and team has to wait mandatory 5 seconds for photo opportunity purposes.

So beautiful they make me weep. Flav would love these.

[HuddersfieldTerrier1986]

Sporting Reg: The winning driver must drive his car in reverse at the next race for 1 lap. Failure to make a mistake during that 1 lap results in a 10 second stop and go penalty for his teammate

Technical Reg: All engines to be tuned so that the engine stops once per race at a random moment so the national anthem of the driver is played from the engine

Fashion Reg: All team managers required to wear pants (clean ones!) on their head with a pencil up each nostril when being interviewed on TV.

[7MGTEsup]

Just to spice things up.

I was originally going to put that but thought I would get locked up for suggesting drinking and driving.

- at the end of the season the driver with the most points in each team gets to kick hes team mate in the bollox the same amount of times as the points difference.

[R Soul]

- No driver is allowed to bring his girlfriend or wife to a race unless Flavio can have a go. An exception will be made if Flavio doesn't fancy her.

- Any women drivers must have their seatbelts personally checked by Flavio. For the sake of safety.

- No (male) drivers are allowed flat stomachs, honed muscles or anything else that would draw attention away from Flavio.

[Neophiliac]

Technical Reg
Teams may pay an undisclosed sum to the organiser for the right to ignore one technical rule per season. However, the FIA stewards will not be told which rule each team is breaking and, if they work it out, the team must revert to obeying that rule. Any payment made to ignore the rule is non refundable, and any points gained up to and including the weekend in which the contravention is discovered will be safe.

Actually, in complete seriousness, I really like this one (minus the "pay Bernie" part). This might actually produce some different cars for a change! And it'd be really strategic: if you build a 5 liter engine or flout the minimum weight limit it would be so damn obvious that you'd loose your advantage at the second race, but if you do something subtle, you might be able to preserve the advantage for half a season or so. Then maybe a team like Caterham really would start the season with a 1500hp monster bolted to the back just to get that one win (and good for them!), while the likes of Red Bull, Ferrari and Mclaren would be quietly messing with some mechanical or aero part or doing software hacks to play the long game for the championship. And then someone really clever might even decide that breaking rules from first race which is going to be won by a Caterham anyway is a bad idea and would only indroduce the rule breaking parts from like the 4th gran prix and keep everyone else looking and not finding anything for the first 4 races.

[KTF1]

Sporting Reg: The winning driver must drive his car in reverse at the next race for 1 lap. Failure to make a mistake during that 1 lap results in a 10 second stop and go penalty for his teammate

Technical Reg: All engines to be tuned so that the engine stops once per race at a random moment so the national anthem of the driver is played from the engine

Fashion Reg: All team managers required to wear pants (clean ones!) on their head with a pencil up each nostril when being interviewed on TV.

Haha