Ok, final race of the season. We have a Chase thread but no opener.
THIS CANNOT BE! TRADITION MUST BE UPHELD!
So... after the inaugural race which had Dale Jr. take a sardine
(but it's not important because he is not in the final four)
and a dominant season by Brad Keselowski
(again. not important because he is not in the final four),
Jeff Gordon
(he ALMOST made into the final four)
and a couple other drivers except Marcos Ambrose who signed for Penske to race in... Australia,
(You guessed it right! He is not in the final four either.)
the season has been filled with the usual drama that has become a staple of Nascar.
Welcome back!
But why keep things trackwise? Let's get rid of some TV broadcasters too!
No more TNT! No more ESPN!
Ah! Take that Bernie! I bet you can't troll us here on AS forum the way Nascar does!
Oh wait...
Welcome back!
Nascar proceded to enforce their sparkling brand new lets get Jeff Gordon and Dale Jr. in the run while screwing Johnson Chase system. A system that begins with 16 hopefull winners that get's trimmed down until we got 4 epic finalists!
(make up the subtitle as you see fit, Logano is the one with the fur)
So next i will present to you the 4 amazing race winning.. er... oh.. I mean... 3 amazing race winners and 1 guy who got made his way by bump-curving Kyle Larson.
Welcome back!
Today's hopefulls come from various teams and constructors (there is only 3 now, so Chevy get's an extra car, they have also clinched the obscure manufacturers championship)
But instead of searching for the most idiotic poses we will stick to what we see 99% of time: the cars!
Candidate number 1:
#11 DENNY HAMLIN
The lesser known driver of Joe Gibbs Racing decided sometime ago that it was time to follow up the example of his most reputed team mate to gain some exposure. Unfortunatley he choose to follow Kyle Busch, which caused Denny Hamlin to do the very last thing anyone does in Nascar which is to speak up his mind and go as far as to say the Gen 6 car was no good.
Naturally young Denny had to be sanitized, but one year later he is clean and ready to give Toyota it's very first title of some significance. I mean... anyone can win the World Endurance Championship right? Denny will be assisted by Matt Kenseth, better known has the man who demonstrated the Rosberg Method could work in america, and all time fan favourite Kyle Busch who will atempt to lure all hatred onto himself, provided he doesnt zero into Brad.
Candidate Number 2:
#4 Kevin Harvick
Poor Kevin will probably go down in history as the sole man to replace Dale Earnhardt but never to be given the honour to use the iconic number 3. But to be fair, we havent seen much of it either. Anyway, after many years of being just the driver that was 0,1 less than Dale, Kevin got himself a round single digit number, a new team and some refurbished mojo. We are not sure if Kevin managed to wear a firesuit yet, but if he wins there are some odds he may open one tonight...
Powered by the soon to be banned powers of a well known beer that is actually of Czech origin (you thought the Lotus War was bad? google the Budweiser one out!) Kevin has been the flagship of the soon to be Ferrari B Team (provided Haas doesn't chicken out) taking victories and becoming the sole finalist to earn that right by... well.. winning race. Assisting Kevin are a super team led by the police known Tony Stewart and Kurt Busch who will be also assisted by the stealthy Danica Patrick who will conceal herself in the top 30 waiting for the moment to strike.
Welcome back!
Onto Candidate number 3:
#22 JOEY LOGANO
In typical young gun fashion, Joey Logano managed to outsmart team leader Brad Keselowski and squeeze his way into the final four. But there is more, Joey has actually come from the Toyota camp and is looking to show people that like his boss Brad he is not just some funny looking bully. One thing is for sure, that yellow Penzoil scheme still has some Mears magic in it.
In his bid to the top of the world, Joey will be assisted by the mammoth racing corporation Team Penske, head by it's captain Roger and aided on-track by the now turned villain Brad Kesewolski who is already preparing his tweeter for a rain of trolling to confuse his enemies. Don't mess up with the beagle penske boys!
Candidate number 4:
#31 RYAN NEWMAN
Ryan is a dangerous man. His harmless looks and meaningless sponsors often make his enemies lower their guard. This is the moment when he strikes and when he strikes fear takes over the hosts in Nascar, even Kyle Busch seeks shelter. It was thanks to this tactics that Newman beated Jimmy Johnson to the ROY throphy and it was thanks to this same tactics that Newman is today a man for the Cup.
But it was not always like this, there was a time when Newman won races, but that same year he met a man of extreme cunning who stole the crown by having a single win. So Newman learned from this mistake and backtracked to his old ways of sneaking. He believes he has now perfected the Rosberg Method into the more refined Newman Method. He will linger behind, bidding his time for the right moment, and when Joey and Kevin tangle up and Denny speeds on pitroad Newman will move up and take the crown while Jeff Gordon takes another useless win.
Newman needs no assistants on track, his brain alone is his ally and you can be sure he will psyche all his adversaries with his huge happy smile before the race.
Welcome to the final segment
In order to watch this historic event you can tune into ESPN proper, local broadcasters and the premium service provided by our nigerian perpretators. Operators have opened a Cayman bank on Sunday so that you have no trouble having your checks and cards charged imediatley.
As bonus, all viewers will get an extra jinx! That's 2 jinxes free for today! Happy jinxing! You can purchase aditional jinxes on our caterhamf1 nigerian store.
Rules for jinxing:
- you cannot jinx while Nicole or Rusty are talking, you can jinx while Brad is talking, actually, you can jinx Brad rightaway
- Nicole and Rusty are free game once the password "This could be Junior's day/night/race" is spoken
- jinxing on pitroad is allowed, you can also jinx the track crew and equipment
- Kyle Busch and Brad Keselowski cannot have more than 5 active jinxes at once, there is no limit for dormant jinxes and you can swap jinxes as you please
- Danica cannot be jinxed on lap 1
- Kyle Larson is allowed to be jinxed after half-way, penalties for not doing so will result in Dale Jr. getting wrecked!
- Jeff Gordon has no jinx limit if he is leading with 10 laps to go
- getting Tony Stewart, or any SHR driver below the top 30 does not spend the jinx
- Jimmy Johnson can only be jinxed for mechanical failures, pit crew screwups is considered mechanical since it involves brain and limb failure
See you next year!
Edited by Red17, 16 November 2014 - 17:36.
