Testing is almost here, so since 2020 prediction threads will be popping up soon, what better time to look back and see how wildly off the mark we all are as part-time soothsayers? What sayeth you?
So if I were the scriptwriter for F1:
Red Bull will emerge as Mercedes’ primary contender. Hamilton and Verstappen will have one of the ugliest, most intense battles we’ve seen in decades with at least one race-ending collision for the pair of them at some point. Each will make uncharacteristic mistakes throughout the season as the mind games go up to 11,000, Hamilton with the off-track edge and Verstappen with the on-track edge. The deciding moment in the championship will occur in the final three races as a reliability issue takes one of them out of a race at a critical moment. Bottas and Gasly will only feature when one of them has an extra sh!t race and gets overtaken by both Ferraris in the last few laps; neither will finish in front of the other title contender often.
Not even close on Hamilton and Verstappen! Both made mistakes in Germany, but were nowhere near one another in the championship. Bottas and Gasly were definitely MIA, but neither one was ever quick enough to end up in front of both Ferraris when the Ferraris were quicker. The only collision between Hamilton and Verstappen this year may have involved their egos. 2/5
Charles Leclerc will win the first race of the year after an on-point safety car strategy (or at least take Ferrari’s first win of the year), and the hype train will kick into overdrive. This marks the first of many perfect calls which sees Ferrari invert their comically awful driver performances and race operations–except now the car is clearly a distant third. Vettel and Leclerc are able to function as a harmonious pairing without the pressure of a title fight dogging either of them. Both drivers will win at least one race, as the engine remains the best on the grid. Vettel will either be defeated by Leclerc or narrowly outscore him, and begin signing pre-contracts elsewhere as the team starts to gravitate towards Leclerc for when the car is ready, though the pair will continue on to 2020.
2/5. Leclerc did outscore Vettel and the intrateam dynamic unfolded as predicted, but the car was good and race strategy remained as advanced as a game of 52 pickup. Leclerc definitely didn't win Australia.
Ricciardo beats the crap out of Hulkenberg and mixes it with the Ferraris every once in a while, prompting at least one comically rage-filled tirade about pinball from one of the red cars. He won’t score a win but will end up best of the midfield, probably with one or two podiums to Hulkenberg’s zero.
54 points to 37 was definitely a beatdown. Ricciardo scored no podiums but neither did Hulkenberg. While neither Ferrari driver had anything to say about Ricciardo, he never really raced them enough to give them a chance. Ricciardo wasn't best of the midfield, either–that was Carlos Sainz, Jr. 2/6
Kubica will start strong but fade rapidly, probably with a random historically symmetrical best finish of seventh or something at Canada.
Lando Norris will continue Alonso’s reputation in the midfield by virtue of the fact that he will only ever appear on camera after one of several DRS + tyre assisted passes on a random midfielder. He’ll break the record for most 11th place finishes, triggering one meme about him always ending up 11th which will quickly be replaced by another one the first time he says, “It’s not my fault!” towards the end of the season.
Daniil Kvyat will remain composed and fast all year, randomly getting fifth or something at Baku, Singapore, or a track with lots of safety cars. Albon will be like Gasly was last year.
The less I can say about Kubica, the better. He did get points, though. 1/2
Norris did well but was outshone by Sainz. I eagerly await the day he proudly exclaims, "It's not my fault!" He was classified 11th four times; while I can't verify this statistically I don't think anyone will disagree if I say it's not a record! 0/3
Kvyat did well by all accounts this year, and actually did record his best result of the season in a race with lots of safety cars, though it was a podium (would you like earplugs to drown out the screeching from the goalposts I'm dragging?). 1/1
Albon was technically like Gasly last year in that a decision was made to promote him to Red Bull, but he was much better than I think many of us expected. 1/1 (SCREECH)
Raikkonen will say something entertaining over the radio about some dumbass move Carlos Sainz tries in Malaysia, and then realises he’s racing in China and it was in fact Hulkenberg who he crashed with.
Grosjean will cause at least one accident that royally screws over either Hamilton or Verstappen’s strategy by virtue of inducing a full safety car when one of them counts on it remaining a virtual safety car and waits too long to pit.
I don't recall anything noteworthy from Raikkonen over the radio this year, Carlos Sainz barely put a foot wrong, and as far as I can remember Hulkenberg and Raikkonen never encountered one another on track–and certainly not in China. 0/3
While involved in many accidents this year, not one of Grosjean's incidents had any meaningful bearing on a battle between Hamilton and Verstappen. (!) 0/1
Stroll turns out to be much better than we all thought, but still crap.
I continue to catch races days after they’re broadcast in favor of Indycar.
Well, this wasn't really fair. 2/2
SOOTHSAYER SCORE: 11/29
Maybe 'F1' is 'if' spelled backwards...