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[Risil]

Are you done watching Monaco? Did it rain? Whatever it felt like, get ready to go through all those emotions and then ones you didn’t even know you had, because next up in Racing’s Busiest Weekend is the event which appropriately bills itself as The Greatest Spectacle in Racing: The Indianapolis 500 Mile Race.

The 106th Running of the Indianapolis 500 Mile Race, Presented by Gainbridge

The Schedule

All times local, US Eastern Daylight.

09:00 - Cars to Pit Lane, Borg Warner Trophy March to the Bricks
10:30 - Cars to Grid on Frontstretch
11:47 - Driver Introductions
12:18 - Invocation and National Anthem (sung by Jordan Fisher)
12:35 - Back Home Again in Indiana (sung by Jim Cornelison)
12:45 - Green Flag

Viewing options can be found here.

The Cast

Row 1
We start with row one, also known as the front row, also known as Where Pole Position Is. Anonymous Indycar Guy Scott Dixon has come out of the witness protection programme to score another Indy 500 pole position, which makes five overall, with a four-lap average speed of 234.046 mph. Fast! Despite five Indy pole positions, he’s only converted one of them into victory, all the way back in 2008. Wikipedia accurately lists his 2022 finish as “TBD”. Middle of the front row is Dixon’s teammate at Ganassi, Alleged Scott Dixon Replicant Alex Palou. Palou finished second last year and has an excellent chance of finishing second or better this year. On the outside is Parental American Racing Tour-Guide Rinus Veekay of Hoofdorp, not only the Netherlands’ second greatest active racing driver, but also the Netherlands’ greatest bearded active racing driver and indeed the Netherlands’ greatest active racing driver who was born in the Netherlands. He’s good, his team boss Ed Carpenter builds good cars for Indy, and 100% of his one win came at Indianapolis. Can he make it 100% of two? Yeah, he could.

Row 2
The Slow Part of the Fast Six Boys (apologies to Steve Winwood) with two Indy-only entries flanking the middle occupant. On the inside we have Left-Turn Superstar Everett “Ed” Carpenter, who is more “driver” than “owner” this weekend, qualifying just behind his younger employee. Alongside him in the middle of the row is Professional Limelight Evader Marcus Ericsson (or the “Sneaky Swede” if you’re the nickname type, of which we have a few here), lining up beside the next 20% of the Ganassi juggernaut, Ageless South American Demigod Tony Kanaan. It seems like an eon since Kanaan won the Indy 500 in 2013, but for Ganassi it’s been a year longer than that–with an abundance of speed and experience available for both, does the wait end today?

Row 3
Two McLaren drivers occupy row 3, with General Indycar Darling Patricio O’Ward heading it up on the inside and his teammate, Camouflaged McLaren Swedebot Felix Rosenqvist, sitting in the middle. O’Ward won at Barber in April and had an outside shot at the Indy road course Grand Prix earlier this month before the weather and some very inopportune strategy moves dumped him out of contention. Rosenqvist can’t claim to have had any similar highs but this definitely beats qualifying in the tenth row every week, which it felt like he was doing last season. Outside of row 3 is French-Swiss Trouble Magnet Jean-Jacques Rousseau Romain Grosjean. He’s Andretti’s highest qualifier, which is not necessarily what could’ve been predicted from his Indy debut. Rookie of the year material? He’s got to finish first.

https://i.postimg.cc/BbgHSN0p/row4.pngRow 4
On the inside of Row 4 we have Improbable Indy 500 Late-Bloomer Takuma Sato, winner in 2017 and 2020, who has been completely anonymous this year until Not Actually Bump Day, when he did more than bump the outside wall of Turn 2 while keeping his foot in it to secure a spot in the Fast Twelve. Love him or hate him, there’s no denying Taku is usually box office and will be one of the cars to watch today. In the middle of Row 4 is Well-Respected Motherf#$ker Will Power, who is all at once 2018’s Indy 500 champion, Team Penske’s torchbearer, the current championship leader, and the driver most likely to get taken out by clean air. On Power’s right is Peacock Pitbox Retiree Jimmie Johnson, the last of the Ganassi cars and distinct Rookie of the Year contender. The El Cajon native showed an abundance of El Cajones with an almighty save while gunning for the Fast Six–while he didn’t make it, he kept his car in one piece, which may prove critical in the race. (yes I know that’s not how you spell cojones just let me pretend it’s clever)

Row 5
Young Americans ahoy! Row 5 is real old mix of United Statesian under-35s, from Verbose Chicagoan Rookie David Malukas, driving for Dale Coyne with HMD(?) Motorsports on the inside, to Established Penske Top-Guy Josef Newgarden in the middle, to Could-do-With-a-Breakthrough-Result-but-Probably-Won’t-Get-One Connecticutter Santino Ferrucci, racing for Indy specialists Dreyer & Reinbold. Malukas has the best name, Ferrucci has the best hair, Newgarden has the best chance of winning the championship. Will he win at Indy? I’m not so sure.

Row 6
Getting into “may not survive Turn 1 territory,” we have a trio of drivers desperately in need of a good result. On the inside is Jean Girard Doppelgänger Simon Pagenaud, winner of the 2019 Indy 500 and the higher placed of Copper Penny mainstay Mike Shank’s two drivers. In the middle is Golden State JR JR Hildebrand, who at this point would probably love to be remembered for anything other than failing to complete the final turn of the 2011 Indy 500. On the outside is Ginger Mulleted Fan Darling Conor Daly, a crowd favorite who looked very good in last year’s edition of the race and will likely do so again today behind the wheel of another Ed Carpenter Racing car.

Row 7
Some big names down here outside the top 20. Or rather, two big names, and delightful rookie and Old F2 Guy Callum Ilott, who got his Juncos entry into 19th position and established the very minor distinction of being the top-qualifying Brit. More on that anon, as Ilott’s fellow Brit William Shakespeare might have said. Middle of the seventh row is Newly-Minted IndyCar Vagabond Alexander Rossi, in what will almost certainly be his last Indy 500 with the team that brought him a rookie win back in 2016 and two very good cars during his professional peak (so far) of 2018-2019. On the outside is Reliably Discontented Midfielder Graham Rahal, driving for dad Bobby’s Rahal-Letterman-Lanigan Racing, and hoping to move forward with the minimum of drama. Rahal rarely brings minimum drama, but at least he’s starting far away from Grosjean.

Row 8
On the outside of Row the Eighth is Pennsylvanian Numerological Anomaly Sage Karam, who, is making his 25th start driving Car 24 with a teammate in Car 23 in ’22 after last having raced IndyCar in ’21 and recording a best championship position of 20th. He’s moved forward from where he’s started every time he’s run this race–maybe 19th this year? In the middle is Not-Exactly Owner-Driver Marco Andretti, whose team is formally listed as “Andretti Herta Autosport with Marco and Curb”; much has been written about Marco over the years and I’m not sure I can write more. On the outside is Marco’s teammate, North American Latifi-alike Devlin DeFrancesco, who is still learning how to make friends on ovals.

Row 9
Row 9 is the absolute pick of the “what the hell are these guys doing here?” bunch. This row features two championship contenders doing their championship chances no good at all and a defending champion starting from his second-lowliest ever Indy 500 starting position. Best(?) of all on this row is Andretti’s Californian Hangtime Enthusiast Colton Herta, who has endured engine trouble in qualifying and a big crash on Carb Day. In the middle is Penske’s New Australian Scott McLaughlin, who’s surprisingly only won one Indycar race and is unlikely to make it two on Sunday, and of course on the outside is Energy Drink Incarnate Helio Castroneves, winner in 2001, 2002, 2009, and when he brought Michael Shank an Indy 500 victory last year and could probably bask in that glory for the rest of his lifespan if he were so inclined. Evidently, he isn’t. But it’s a tough job starting from back there.

Row 10
In the tail-end of the 20’s, we have an unfortunate continuance of AJ Foyt Racing’s seemingly Gabaldonian ability to reunite with the back of the field, come what may. On the inside is Current Young American Kyle Kirkwood, who is probably thankful he’s likely Andretti-bound to replace the departing Alexander Rossi. In the middle is Wealthy Canadian Engineer Dalton Kellett, who would likely be thankful to end his race somewhere other than parked on the inside of Turn 1. On the outside we have Colombian Racing Dad Juan Pablo Montoya, winner in 2000 and 2015, piloting the last of the McLaren cars. Montoya was fire on water during the Indy GP on the Speedway’s road course, form he’d be more than happy to carry into this weekend.

Row 11
Finally – the last row. Two of these drivers were struggling for speed and the other one is helpfully listed on the qualifying sheet as NO SPEED, which is accurate enough but feels quite crushing when you see it written down. 31st and 32nd are Bobby Rahal’s other two drivers, Danish F2 Transplant Christian Lundgaard (whose season hasn’t really started yet) and Mike Shank Racing Transplant Jack Harvey (same). Something’s not working at Rahal and for the sake of these two hopefully Bobby won’t conclude it’s running three cars that’s the problem. Last of all is the third and final Brit in Gasoline Alley this weekend, Extremely Tenacious Yorkshireman, Stefan Wilson. He’ll be racing the Dragonspeed car that I imagine is wheeled out of a shed halfway through May, has the ivy pulled out of its sidepods, a few squirts of WD-40 applied, and is then sent out on track. Or in this case, not. Finishing on the lead lap won’t happen. Making it to lap 198 will be an achievement.

The 500

Race fans, are you ready? All the effort and preparation of the last two weeks and the months prior come to this. No matter what happens today, the last 105 runnings of this race have something in common: history will be made, and a driver as good as they are lucky will achieve racing immortality. There can only be one–and we’ll find out who in a matter of hours.

Start your engines.

[Risil]

(Thanks to Afterburner for writing more than half of this and formatting the code nicely!)

[SophieB]

The best trophy and track spectacle in the world.

Also Marcus Ericsson looks like he is suddenly remembering he left the iron on back home.

[Muppetmad]

Looking forward to my favourite day in motorsport 

[H0R]

The best trophy and track spectacle in the world.

Also Marcus Ericsson looks like he is suddenly remembering he left the iron on back home.

 

I'll stick my neck out: I feel we will have a swedish winner today.

Edited by H0R, 29 May 2022 - 10:31.

[SophieB]

I'll stick my neck out: I feel we will have a swedish winner today.

Is your new avatar Tony Curtis? If it is, why?

[H0R]

Lieutenant Holden is my role model.

[FLB]

[BRG]

Have they finally stopped all the preparation? Are they really going racing at last?

 

Rookie orientations, practice, pre-qualifying, qualifying, post qualifying, Bump Day, Carburation Day, Fuel Injection Day, post Bump Day pre-race practice, Back Home in Indiana Day...why can't they just telescope it into three of four days then there could be another proper race somewhere.

[LolaB0860]

Have they finally stopped all the preparation? Are they really going racing at last?

 

Rookie orientations, practice, pre-qualifying, qualifying, post qualifying, Bump Day, Carburation Day, Fuel Injection Day, post Bump Day pre-race practice, Back Home in Indiana Day...why can't they just telescope it into three of four days then there could be another proper race somewhere.

 

I think it could be neatly condensed to one active and interesting week

 

Monday - Rookie Orientation (3h) + Practice 1 (4h) 

Tuesday - Practice 2 (7h)

Wednesday - Practice 3 (7h)

Thursday - Qualifying* (7h)

Friday - Warm-Up (2h) + Freedom 100

Sunday - Race

 

*Including possible bumping in same session, no separate session for Top12/6/whatever, that's just gimmicky. And as for Quali being one Thursday why not, no-one comes to see it on a weekend currently anyways and 24H events have it mid-week as well without issues

 

Friday and/or Saturday could be used as backup days for qualifying in case of rain

Edited by LolaB0860, 29 May 2022 - 11:12.

[Muppetmad]

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

[paulb]

Combined brilliance from Risil and AB!

 

How do you guys do this stuff? 

 On the outside of Row the Eighth is Pennsylvanian Numerological Anomaly Sage Karam, who, is making his 25th start driving Car 24 with a teammate in Car 23 in ’22 after last having raced IndyCar in ’21 and recording a best championship position of 20th.

Weird talking about Kanaans distant 500 win when Dixons is far distanter.

 

There is a high probability I will miss the start of the race so I will be playing ketchup.

[Risil]

I don't have a problem with it being a two-week event. However I bet some go-getter within the Penske organization is working on a proposal.

[stewie]

While I've put a few £1 bets on between Miss Stewie and my Dad, I've stuck most of my cash on Sato - it's boom or bust time guys!!!

[Anja]

The only two drivers with the same listed hometown are starting next to each other. I believe in destiny or whatever now. 

 

Stellar OP, gentlemen.

[ensign14]

The best trophy and track spectacle in the world.

 

Think I might take the plunge for next year.

[red stick]

Lieutenant Holden is my role model.

"In confusion there is profit!"

With heroes like this, did you steal your money or marry it?

[GlenWatkins]

Have they finally stopped all the preparation? Are they really going racing at last?

 

Rookie orientations, practice, pre-qualifying, qualifying, post qualifying, Bump Day, Carburation Day, Fuel Injection Day, post Bump Day pre-race practice, Back Home in Indiana Day...why can't they just telescope it into three of four days then there could be another proper race somewhere.

 

The Indy 500 is all about tradition.  Take the winner milk drinking tradition:  https://ftw.usatoday...-meyer-milk-man

 

 

Alexander Rossi said it best:  “But so much of the 500 is about tradition, and it’s about the legacy of that race and what the people did before us. … I think just the sheer magnitude of the event is what’s kept all of these traditions alive for so many years.”

[H0R]

"In confusion there is profit!"

With heroes like this, did you steal your money or marry it?

First and foremost I plan on stealing pigs. Which reminds me to fire up the barbie.

[red stick]

Have they finally stopped all the preparation? Are they really going racing at last?
 
Rookie orientations, practice, pre-qualifying, qualifying, post qualifying, Bump Day, Carburation Day, Fuel Injection Day, post Bump Day pre-race practice, Back Home in Indiana Day...why can't they just telescope it into three of four days then there could be another proper race somewhere.

Good one!
Making the Indy 500 just like every other Insert Sponsor Name Here Where Are We This Weekend Grand Prix. That's funny.
Seriously, thanks, starting the day with a knee-slapper is always appreciated . . .

[scheivlak]

 Rinus Veekay of Hoofdorp,

Hoofddorp - which means "main village"

[FLB]

Another Indy tradition 

 

 

Edited by FLB, 29 May 2022 - 11:44.

[Frood]

I wore my (sadly lost) Sato t-shirt on race day in 2017.

I wore my Super Aguri t-shirt on race day in 2020.

 

Though it is a little ragged and doesn't fit properly anymore, I still possess the Super Aguri t-shirt... and I dug it out of the wardrobe this morning. Dare I wear it again...?

[BoDarvelle]

Complaining about two weeks lead up to the Indy 500....

 

 

Wonders if the guy knows it used to be a full month....

 

(A month would definitely be overkill with these spec cars. Back in the day they took a long time to get their creations tuned up and tuned in so it made more sense.)

[red stick]

I wore my (sadly lost) Sato t-shirt on race day in 2017.
I wore my Super Aguri t-shirt on race day in 2020.
 
Though it is a little ragged and doesn't fit properly anymore, I still possess the Super Aguri t-shirt... and I dug it out of the wardrobe this morning. Dare I wear it again...?

I'm wearing my Newgarden jersey, which has never had a fraction of that mojo, so go for it!

[FLB]

Pre-race has started on the local stations.

 

https://www.wishtv.com/

Edited by FLB, 29 May 2022 - 12:19.

[paulb]

I'm wearing my Newgarden jersey, which has never had a fraction of that mojo, so go for it!

I’m debating whether or not go full Dixon. You know, jinxing him and all.

[red stick]

I’m debating whether or not go full Dixon. You know, jinxing him and all.

I hear you, and have entertained similar thoughts, but have ultimately decided that showing the colors is more important than wondering if my sportswear choices result in dropped wheel nuts.

[paulb]

^I have come to the same conclusion. Poor Dixon. 

[JBJ]

Is there an exact race time available somewhere?

[Nigol]

Will the be a free stream I can watch from Germany?

[FLB]

Woo Hoo! 

 

Sam Rumpza sur Twitter : "The flowers are back. I repeat, the flowers are BACK! @Thomsen419 @jakequery https://t.co/HsOQxi0YP2" / Twitter

[FLB]

Is there an exact race time available somewhere?

12:45.

 

Andy Merrick sur Twitter : "A minute-by-minute schedule for the 2022 Indy 500. Great as a phone lockscreen to know the details of each pre-race event (time, location, person). Time to get it on! #IndyCar #Indy500 https://t.co/yGzmXM0KFT" / Twitter

[ezequiel]

Best thread title ever

[jonpollak]

Good Morning Race Fans.
It’s our Christmas Day !

Great OP and thank you.
I’m awake now here in Santa Rosa.
Must get to hotel room….

Jp

Edited by jonpollak, 29 May 2022 - 14:28.

[jonpollak]

Oh and Sophie….
It took a year longer than we had hoped but Kathy Penske FINALLY got her wish. !!!



Jp

[maximilian]

Monaco is boring the living crap out of me as usual.  Can't wait for the real racing to begin! 

[loki]

Have they finally stopped all the preparation? Are they really going racing at last?

 

Rookie orientations, practice, pre-qualifying, qualifying, post qualifying, Bump Day, Carburation Day, Fuel Injection Day, post Bump Day pre-race practice, Back Home in Indiana Day...why can't they just telescope it into three of four days then there could be another proper race somewhere.

 

 

I think it could be neatly condensed to one active and interesting week

 

Monday - Rookie Orientation (3h) + Practice 1 (4h) 

Tuesday - Practice 2 (7h)

Wednesday - Practice 3 (7h)

Thursday - Qualifying* (7h)

Friday - Warm-Up (2h) + Freedom 100

Sunday - Race

 

*Including possible bumping in same session, no separate session for Top12/6/whatever, that's just gimmicky. And as for Quali being one Thursday why not, no-one comes to see it on a weekend currently anyways and 24H events have it mid-week as well without issues

 

Friday and/or Saturday could be used as backup days for qualifying in case of rain

 

It’s a lot more than a race.  It’s a tradition and event that impacts the entire region.  It used to be almost the entire month.  As they said at Gomerforum back in the day “you don’t know whay Indy means”.   It’s much more than 200 times across the yard of bricks.

[jonpollak]

Danica looks awesome in that red outfit !!!
Jp

[Atreiu]

Cheers. Here’s to a safe and epic race. Have a great day everyone.

[red stick]

Indianapolis has its traditions.  I have mine.

 

tl;dr  Repeat from the qualifying thread.  Nothing to see here.

 

 

2022 Indy 500

The Verse, or 99 lines about 33 drivers:

Row 1

Another stunning

Indy Pole--beware of late

breaking yellow flags.

 

Championships are sweet;

Don’t forget Chip likes bringing

home Borg-Warners too.

 

Outside of front row

and fastest Chevy; an odd

sense of déjà vu?

 

 

Row 2
 

If qualifying

pace equaled race day results,

you would have won thrice.

 

Fastest Swede again
shines—becoming adept at
bringing home bacon.
 

Winning another

would be popular in more

than Sumeria . . .
 

 

Row 3

Fastest Chevy from

a team not named Carpenter.

Zak hopes it’s enough.

 

Know what would make this

livery decidedly

less ugly?  Winning!

 

This is a place where

sometimes it is good to have

a friend. Just sayin.’

 

 

Row 4
 

A Dale Coyne car in

front of all of the Penskes?

This is why we race.

 

If this year’s new Zen

Master approach is useful

anywhere, it’s here.

 

You have four wins here

too, but this one would be a

little different!

 

 

Row 5

 

Follow your teammate.

Not to the wall, mind you, but

he knows how to win.

 

Winning this race for

Penske would seal your place, but

this seems not the year.

 

Team owners love your

speed, but a long term contract

is more elusive.

 

 

Row 6

 

Hondas clearly have

speed; a win from your side of

the garage would rock.

 

If the track owes one

to anybody, well, then

you sir, top my list.

 

Outdoor pools are nice,

but your two teammates were less

relaxed.  And faster!

 

 

Row 7

 

The future for this

group seems incredibly bright—

keep working the car.

 

Trading Herta for

O’Ward may not be all that

career enhancing.

 

Not impossible

to win from here.  Hard, yes, but . . .

who are we kidding . . . ?

 

 

Row 8

 

Doing this once a

year is not easy.  Beware

the outside right car.

 

Doing this once a

year is not easy. Beware

the car to the right.

 

OK.  Calm down.  Breathe.

Everyone else is glad they

can see you coming.

 

 

Row 9 

 

Eight rows back from last

year’s starting spot only means

just one way to go.

 

That other Kiwi

may be far ahead, but you

know you can do this. 

 

If you win a fifth,

surely Mike’s got to let you

try for another?

 

 

Row 10

 

Your apprenticeship

continues, but back to the

mother ship next year!

 

Remember, stopping

in Turn One here is just not

a good idea.

 

You know the team’s cars

are fast, but remember you

don’t have fenders here.

 

 

Row 11

 

Five hundred miles is

a long way—think of it as

a practice session.

 

Hope the grass gets a

little greener soon, because

this was not your goal. 

 

Cinderella came

late to the ball too, and that

turned out all right.

Edited by red stick, 29 May 2022 - 15:05.

[jonpollak]

Poor Dale Jr.
To be saddled with Rut all day…
Who did he piss off at NBC ?
Jp

[red stick]

Poor Dale Jr.
To be saddled with Rut all day…
Who did he piss off at NBC ?
Jp

Keeping the NASCAR folks where they can see them?

[jonpollak]

He’s better than that.
Jp

[jonpollak]

They could have him live in the bus lot. !!!
I dislike this Story Driven Agenda.
Jp

[Disgrace]

Is Hinch wearing a purple suit? What a baller.

[red stick]

The support race is back live.

[Nigol]

Will the be a free stream I can watch from Germany?

Does anyone know? I haven’t found anything

[sketchy2001]

Hoofddorp - which means "main village"

Interesting that he doesn't claim to be from Haarlem or Amsterdam instead...

[red stick]

Is Hinch wearing a purple suit? What a baller.

You were expecting Buffalo plaid?