40 replies to this topic

[Rudolf]

Sid Watkins:

(on tending to MS after he broke his leg)

"Michael accused me of trying to cut of his scrotum and I'm not sure he was joking!"

Michael Schumacher:

(on what he expectes from his team-mate, Eddie Irvine)

I want him to keep away from my daughter when shes at an age to start dating."

Eddie Irvine:

press conferences canada '99 (incident with Mika) and Austria (making snoring noises when DC was explaining why he didn't win!)

actually anything Eddie says tends to be funny!

Frentzen:

(interviewed at Silverstone, not sure when)

interviewer: what do you think of the weather?
H-H: Well it's a bit dodgy!
irterviewer: where did you learn that word, I thought you were only learning English!
H-H: Eddie Irvine taught it to me, why is it a swear word?
interviewer: No why do you say that?
H-H: well Eddie has a reputation of being rude to journalists!!!

classical stuff!

[614david]

Guess it was quite funny when Mika and Michael were duscussing tactics for winning in Japan either last year or the year before.

When the Interviewer asked Mika how he was going to go about beating Michael, he said, with a cheeky grin,

'well, i'm going to brake 3 metres later at every corner'

to which Michael uttered

'If he brakes 3 metre's later, i'm going to break 5 metres later at evry corner'

Mika turned in his seat to face Michael and said

'Then we'll meet in the gravel trap!'

Most of the Mika quips are funny, as are the Irvine statements.
I particularly found Eddie funny when he was speaking to the interviewer on his yacht for his video.
He was discussing why he liked this particular bed he has on his yacht, and that he sleeps really well in it, and then he grinned and said,

'The first time Anouk slept in this bed she said, 'your right, this bed is really comfortable' (Or something to that effect!) and he replies ' yeah, all the girls say that!!'

At the end of this little story he looked at the interviewer and said,

' I got a slap for that one:) '

But they all have their moments at being funny, some intentionally, some unintentionally, i.e David, and some just naturally like Mika and Eddie!

[tombr]

Next year is my year - DC

[fifi]

a couple more Eddie im afraid

Great Britain 1994 - When Eddie Jordan asked him to take part in a photo shoot of all the British drivers before Silverstone 1994 he replied, "Do I have to? Send out some f**ker in my helmet, they'll never know the difference"

Monaco 1996 - Interviewer: "Why has Schumacher got an odd shaped helmet?" Ed: "Because he's German, he's got an odd shaped head"

January 1998 - Asked to comment about the Jerez Schumacher crash in Autosport he said "Honestly, I think we all would have done the same. But I'd like to think I'd have made a better job of it!"

[Jerry Lee]

I remember a story told by a NASCAR driver, although I don't know who, that said he hit the wall and was sliding down the track. The crew radioed, while he was sliding, asking if he was OK. His reply was: "I don't know, I'm not done crashing yet."

[Sid]

Eddie at his best

[MattPete]

Although it's not F1, my favorite quote comes from Alex Zanardi after his first Michigan 500. When asked by a reporter why he slowed on one lap then got back up to speed, Alex meant to say that he was preoccupied adjusting the rollbars or weight jacker. Instead, Alex said:

"I was driving around playing with my tool."

[SlateGray]

Jacques in the post race press con. Oct 97 Jerez.

"Either Michael had his eyes closed or his hands slipped on the steering wheel."

Dry, Very dry. Directly to the point.

[biercemountain]

I think Mika is in his own way a very funny guy. His comment after the British GP this year about "having a cup of tea" had me giggling for hours.

That being said, from what I've read here Irvine is by far the funniest current driver. Snoring noises. LOL!

[mtl'78]

Eddie has loved to have fun at JV's expense. I think it started at the '96 Thursday Press conference. JV, the rookie, and Irv, about to drive his 1st race with Ferrari. JV was clearly struggling with his english, and Eddie somehow made him repeat the phrase "Rothmans Williams-Renault" (which he was really mangling) 5 times in 2-3 minutes!

Then there's the one where he was asked about JV he replied something like: JV has big boots to fill and he fills them with ****! GOD that made me laugh!

[berge]

fw before jerez 97 "we are going to run reinforced suspensions"
patrick head suzuka 95, where coulthard and hill spun out, and , benetton won the 1995 WCC. "I guess not our best day at the office"
murray walker, same race, as Hill spins off, for the 2nd and final time " words fail me"
coulthard 1995, after driving into the pit entrance wall at adelaide
no quote, just my recollection of the look on frank williams's face.
HHF, Jerez 97, after qualifying with the same time to the thousandth as villeneuve and M.Schumacher "maybe we need to add one more zero to the timing computer next year!"
Brundle, Hungaroring 96 and a lousy qualifying session"17 corners and no straights, and the car won't turn. It's embarrasing actually"
ross brawn, benetton 1995."I'm not worried about schumacher going to ferrari, actually. If he were going to williams, I'd be thinking "christ, weve really got a battle on our hands"
Ferrari came second in the 1996 WCC, Benetton finished 3rd.
And my favourite all time quote, from M. Schumacher at adelaide 1995, as he dived on the inside of alesi at the end of the straight, alesi, inexplicably turned right into schumacher, as they were side by side, damaging both cars. "I don't know what he was doing, it's silly to attack a faster driver like that, ESPECIALLY on the outside, when I have passed him cleanly"

[MPea3]

i seem to remember a story where some F1 drivers needed to get somewhere which required renting a car. harry schell managed to rent a tired old sedan, and jack brabham, being one of the other drivers, immediately dove for the back seat when schell let everyone know he would be driving. when asked what he was doing, blackjack replied "getting as far from the accident as possible!"

a great line... i've used it myself.

[Pikachu Racing]

from DC on his problems at Canada of this year
"I put my hand down between my legs and pulled out a nut that held on the front suspension."

Ouch! That's got to be painful.

[Higli]

Heinz-Harald Frentzen being interviewed by Kai Ebel of RTL after dropping out in the woods from the Hockenheim GP:

Ebel: "This is Heinz-Harald Frentzen. How did you get back to the pits?"

HHF: "On foot."

Ebel: "How long did it take?"

HHF: "About ten laps." (giggles)

Ebel: " ... Get me a calculator!"


HHF has a very dry sense of humor. Not really typical german.

[Higli]

Quotes from John Watson for Eurosport TV:

During the Monaco GP:

"Those barriers will take you in your arms and caress you, baby!"

During the Adelaide GP:

"Oh, a finger! Oh, Heinz-Harald, that's the international sign for saying 'Thank you' ..."

[MPea3]

i don't remember who it was, but some driver TOTALLY missed a chicane, trenching up the grass and sliding back onto the course. david hobbs, announcing for speedvision, commented "it looks like he's taking the minardi line through that corner"

[biercemountain]

It's not F1 but funny nonetheless.

When Sarah Fisher and Janet Guthrie collided at this years Indy 500 a local sportscaster said, "Looks like there's a shoe sale in turn one"

[Dr.Raj]

Read this in an old thread, Hakkinen on Alesi's comment........

Alesi: Going through Eau Rouge is like having an orgasm.
Hakkinen: Heh..Oh yeah?...I think he is ******* his pants and mixing up the two feelings!

[ForzaF1]

Spa 97 (?) as a back marker slams at speed into the smoking wrekage of the half dozen or so cars invloved in the huge opening lap crash in the rain, Derek Bell, commentating for Fox Sports, says "Thats the fastest he's gone all weekend!"

[MONTOYASPEED]

Originally posted by Dr.Raj
Read this in an old thread, Hakkinen on Alesi's comment........

Alesi: Going through Eau Rouge is like having an orgasm.
Hakkinen: Heh..Oh yeah?...I think he is ******* his pants and mixing up the two feelings!

That one was simply the best!

[HSJ]

fw before jerez 97 "we are going to run reinforced suspensions"

FW knows MS...

[HSJ]

Alesi: Going through Eau Rouge is like having an orgasm.
Hakkinen: Heh..Oh yeah?...I think he is ******* his pants and mixing up the two feelings!

[iago]

A couple from Alex Zanardi when he was in F1 with Williams. I don't remember them exactly.

When asked about Mika's pausing in press conferences: "Ayrton Senna used to make pauses too. But he was thinking during the pauses."

At one race (Spa?) he went to find Pedro Diniz, who was then driving for Sauber (alongside Alesi). Alex asked Pedro something along the lines of "My wife wants to be driven around the circuit by someone. I don't want to drive her myself because I'm much too fast for her" (i.e. you drive her, you're just about slow enough).

Generally, anything by Mika Hakkinen is very amusing and Irv can be good for a laugh as well.

[raceday]

"Sorry Damon !"

(-MS to a dead fly, after knocking it out of the air, then being told of the Buddhist belief about creatures being people in former lives.)

[No27]

"It's like riding a bicycle through your living room!"
Nelson Piquet on how he hated Monaco GP

"Mika you were looking good in practice..."
"Yes, but that was because I was wearing a helmet."

[mahelgel]

Great quotes, keep em comming!!

[berge]

emerson fittipaldi, Cart(indycar, or whatever it's called now), after a race in which firestone had a clear advantage, and, poor emmo was on goodyears, of course.
"today, my goodyear tires eeeez shiiit!!!"

[Indyfan]

from CART, the "King Hiro" story....I'm not sure who said it, but during a race, Hiro Matsushita had cut off another driver, who was so mad he said "that f@#king Hiro"...but the radio only picked up "....king Hiro"......and a nickname was born!

[ehagar]

Originally posted by iago


At one race (Spa?) he went to find Pedro Diniz, who was then driving for Sauber (alongside Alesi). Alex asked Pedro something along the lines of "My wife wants to be driven around the circuit by someone. I don't want to drive her myself because I'm much too fast for her" (i.e. you drive her, you're just about slow enough).

That was at the Ring. Alex was talking about Pedro driving his wife around the old ring...

[Rudolf]

The Schumacher's humour (or lack of it):

At the Nurburgring in '97 on the driver's parade the fans are going mad for Schumi and Villenueve turned to Schumi and asked:

"Doesn't it give you a hard on, having all these people here just for you?

Schumi: "What do you mean?"
Jacques: "You know, doesn't it give you an erection?"

Schumacher looks down at his crotch and then looks at Jacques again, "No," he states blankly.

Ralf comes over to see what Jacques and Damon Hill were laughing at and Jacques repeats the question. Ralf looks down at Michael's crotch, "No," he states blankly!

I thought that was brilliant!!!

[alain]

When a man holds you around the throught, I do not think he has come to apologize."
-Ayrton Senna
On being grabbed by Mansell after Spa '87, after having punted him off during the race.


"Why don't you change cars with me ?"
-Ayrton Senna
After Senna's triumph in the rain at Donington 1993, Prost complained bitterly about the Williams that would eventually carry him to the title. Senna's retort brought the house down.


"EI: To be honest, if you wrote the truth, you wouldn't sell a single magazine.
F1 Racing: I don't think that's fair. If you edited F1 Racing for a month...

EI: I couldn't edit it. I'd take out all the bullshit, then there'd be nothing left.
"
-Eddie Irvine
On F1 rags.

"When Senna took a swing at me I thought, 'Here's a few quid coming"

-Eddie Irvine

Hungary 1999
In Saturday Post Qualifying Press Conference, Mika Hakkinen took pole with Eddie along side. Mika was asked "Why do so many of your countrymen come here to Hungary to make it virtually a home race for you?"
MH: "I believe there have been at least 23 extra flights from Finland to Hungary for this weekend's race ..."
EI: "Is that the whole population?"
MH: "Sorry!!"
Mika didn't know what to reply but he did it on Sunday Post Race Press Conference.
MH: "The grandstands are full of Finns and as Eddie said yesterday you would imagine that the whole of Finland is empty this weekend. It's not true though, because we aren't a small country like Ireland."

[bystander]

My favourite ones are from Mika, whose dry humour I find very amusing. Here's my collection of his quotes:


Q: "Mika, it must just be a tremendous relief to finally make the podium"
MH: "..." (smiling)
Q: "This year!"
Montreal2001

Q Mika, What does it feel like to finish third not one but two Schumachers?
Mika: Lucky there's not three! Then there would be a problem.
Montreal2001


Q: Mika, lights to flag victory. It looked so easy. Was it?
Mika: Oh, yeah, it was sooo easy, you can't believe it.
(silence)
Mika: (grinning) No it wasn't.
Spain1999



"When you lead, you have to like put a double. . . . .eh. . hmm. . concentration because . . . .you know?. . . . . you just have to (then Mika cracks up).
Spain1999



Brazil 1998 - Post Race Interview
Interviewer: "You set pole position and 10 fastest laps during the race today, was there anything else that you could have done?"
Hakkinen: [pauses] "No."
Audience member: "Take a coffee?"
Hakkinen: "Yeah, probably!"


"It's not a normal experience to have smoke coming from the bodywork ..." Hakkinen, referring to the race start at Suzuka 2000, when smoke appeared to be coming from the car and then mysteriously disappeared.



MH-MS exchange during the post-qualifying press conference for Suzuka 2000 that went something like this:
Q. So you are not thinking you have a nice cushion with eight points?
MS: Not really, no. There is no point [in doing that] because you never know what will happen in the last race. You really have to try and do your best here, and that's what we are going to do. If he brakes three metres later, I will brake five metres later.

MH: See you in the gravel ...

MS: We'll meet together.



"The race was very easy and my tires were very hot. Thank you."



- Mika after hearing Alesi´s comment -
(Alesi: "Going through Eau Rouge is like having an orgasm.")
Häkkinen: "Heh..Oh yeah?...I think he is ******* his pants and mixing up the two feelings!"



Reporter: "What kind of tyres are McLaren going to use in the race?"
Häkkinen: "Well, there are many kinds of tyres. We use Goodyears, which are round and black"


Reporter: "So what kind of strategy is McLaren going to use?"
Häkkinen: "I think we're gonna go to the pits at some point."


"Finishing second is being the first looser" Mika Hakkinen


Reporter: "What is the biggest difference between you and Keke Rosberg?"
Häkkinen: "Well, i'm taller...uhm, let's cut that from the interview"

- After beating Senna in his first qualifying at McLaren -
AS: "How did you manage to drive the last corners so fast?"
Mika: "With my balls Ayrton, with my balls!"


Q: "Mika, you were looking good in practice..."
A: "Yeah, but that's because I was wearing a helmet."


Brundle (live on TV just before the race): "Mika, Mika, hello Mika. Are you interested to talk to me today?
Mika: "No"
Brundle: "OK, good so we'll carry on then"


Reporter: "Mika do you expect any trouble with David and
Michael at the first corner?"
Mika: "No, because Michael and David are such good friends"




Reporter: "Now you set pole position and ten fastest laps during the race and you won today, is there anything else that you could have done?"
Mika: [pauses] "... no"

Reporter: "Mika, was that the best start of your career?"
Mika: [Gulps] I'm sorry?
Reporter: "Was that the best start of your carer? Third to first boom straight in."
Mika: "No, not really."


Louise G: "So many races into the championship now, so few points on the scoreboard. Is this the
end of your championship hopes?"
Mika: [Pauses] "Well it doesn't look too promising does it."


Mika, Erja, Mark Arnall & his wife were leaving Hockenheim
circuit after the race in 1999. Mika was behind the wheel
when they had to stop because fans surrounded the car.
Mika opened the window and some German girls screamed:
"Mika, you are sooo fast!!!!"
Mika: "Yeah, Erja thinks so, too."

[Cosworth_Power]

MH:".........................."



/

[A3]

"Jenson Button is in the top ten, in eleventh position."



Murray Walker

[coyoteBR]

Reporter: Piquet, do you want to win today?
Nelson Piquet: No, today I want to be the 17th.

Reporter: What is your favorite pet?
Piquet: (laughs) No, I will not answer Nigel Mansell. Write down that I like dogs.

"well, Nelsinho is doing well, but the race is boring."
Nelson Piquet, working as a TV commentator during his son debut at f-3. Guess he'll never be called for this job again

[Mellon]

I've haven't witnessed this one myself so I don't know how accurate it is.

Mika Salo (who drove for Sauber last year) asked Peter Sauber what they had done during the offseason to make the car so much faster.
Peter instantly replied something like "Nothing, we changed drivers"

[Nairn]

Not exactly a quote as such, but:

Murray Walker: "How did you get that nasty bumb on your head Nigel?"
[Nigel Mansell leans forward to show the camera as Murray pokes it with his finger !]
Nigel Mansell: "OUCH!!"

[AcidIce]

Murray Walker's quotes are classic ones!
"And now Alain is commanding the race in second position..."

In Australia 2001:
Brundle: "Alonso is out..."
Murray: "That's the end of the race for Alonso and..."
Brundle: "No, Murray, I mean he's out of the pits"


Lots of Ayrton's quotes from post-race press conferences with Prost are great.

[shaila]

The Schumacher's humour (or lack of it): etc...

How do you know all this stuff??

[alain]

Lots of Ayrton's quotes from post-race press conferences with Prost are great. [/B][/QUOTE]



Some samples ,please.
I really need a good laugh

[John B]

"Meanwhile, there is a problem here, how to make this race sound interesting." Nigel Roebuck on a race during 1988's McLaren Benefit World Tour.

"There goes Senna, there goes Prost. Never mind Nigel, you've already lost." Fan banner at British GP, 1988.

"Get him on the phone, and you couldn't get him off - he'd go on for hours about so-and-so's tires and the like. I used to love those conversations." Frank Williams on Senna.

"After they got out of their vehicles after the accident, the trucker began berating Bernie, screaming at him and calling him all kinds of obscenities. After he was done, Bernie very calmly looked at him and quietly replied, "You're right, I must be an idiot, that's why I'm driving this luxury Mercedes and you're driving a truck."" from a profile of BE