47 replies to this topic

[karlth]

Saw this on another website:

Schumacher's leg padded with illegal materials?

Hamburger Zeitung reported yesterday in their Science and Tech section that McLaren have asked FIA to investigate the materials used to strengthen Michael Schumacher's leg after his 1999 Silverstone crash. According to the McLaren enquiry the material is supposed to be illegal and might have given Ferrari a considerable advantage in weight and strength.

It seems that the doctors at the Northampton General Hospital who treated Schumacher immediately after his crash used materials supplied by Ferrari to pad the tibia and fibula that had broken. The problem is that according to McLaren the padding was never removed and having these bionic materials supporting his "throttle" foot has given Schumacher superhuman strength in his right leg since late 1999.

Dr. Klaus Hergerscheimer Head of Surgery at the University Hospital in Bern said in an interview with Hamburger Zeitung that this extra strength should allow Ferrari to remove all throttle hydraulic systems from Michael's car as he could floor the throttle unassisted. Not having to use any hydraulic systems in the front of the car could save around 30-40 kg, weight that could be shifted to the middle of the Ferrari.

McLaren and Ferrari were unavailable for comment.

Anyone heard anything more about this?

[mera308gtb]

If I was going to have any part of my body made bionic, it wouldn't be my leg.

[wawawa]

Karlth,

[cheesy poofs]

Rrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiight !

[George Bailey]

I'm pretty sure they used beryllium.

[karlth]

It's pretty shocking stuff if true.

Might explain his 3 championships in a row.

[wawawa]

Originally posted by karlth
It's pretty shocking stuff if true.

That's a big "if"...

[vapaokie]

Isn't the throttle controlled by wire? i.e., no direct linkage?

[karlth]

Originally posted by wawawa
That's a big "if"...

Haven't you noticed the way Schumacher moves his right leg when he walks? It is obviously lighter. Perhaps even stronger?

[karlth]

Originally posted by vapaokie
Isn't the throttle controlled by wire? i.e., no direct linkage?

Might well be. A theory I read about on the Hamburger Zeitung website said that it might have something to do with Ross Brawn's banana.

You see with Schumacher's illegal plate in his leg acting as a antenna it could be possible to remote control it from the pits. Now they can't use any visible antennas as they are all accounted for by FIA but according to the theory there is a controlling antenna in Ross Brawn's banana! Amazing.

They even said there was an amateur video available that showed clearly how Ross Brawn moved the banana backwards when Schumacher's Ferrari was entering corners and then forward when throttling away. Then when he finished the banana, Schumacher entered the pits and voila, Brawn picked up a new banana.

Amazing stuff.

Don't know though if to believe, sounds a bit technical.

[Yelnats]

Hmmm... Considering the lengths that Michael Jackson went to to get a face I wouldn't put something like thiis past our Michael.

[Nikolas Garth]

Originally posted by karlth
Amazing stuff.

Don't know though if to believe, sounds a bit technical.

I believe it.

[ensign14]

There's a hollow tube inserted through his metal shinbone and they fill it with nitrus oxide before the race. Have you ever noticed that Schumi speaks English with a slight German accent? Typical side effect of oxide-calcite poisoning.

[Sir Frank]

Old news Karlth,

German soccer palyers (Oliver Kahn is rumored to have it) have been using this material for decades, winning more soccer world cups than their talent would have let them. More importantly beating Hungary in the 1954 World Cup finals 3-2 coming from a 0-2 deficit. This material has also been used by skijumpers from Finnland, adding to the speculation that Rosberg and Hakkinen were among the cheaters. Finally Max Mosley realized the importance of the bionic material and replaced his swollen brain with it, this led to the reintroduction of slick tires and the execution of Herr Tilke.

[JVRACER]

Originally posted by karlth
Originally posted by vapaokie
Isn't the throttle controlled by wire? i.e., no direct linkage?

Might well be. A theory I read about on the Hamburger Zeitung website said that it might have something to do with Ross Brawn's banana.

You see with Schumacher's illegal plate in his leg acting as a antenna it could be possible to remote control it from the pits. Now they can't use any visible antennas as they are all accounted for by FIA but according to the theory there is a controlling antenna in Ross Brawn's banana! Amazing.

They even said there was an amateur video available that showed clearly how Ross Brawn moved the banana backwards when Schumacher's Ferrari was entering corners and then forward when throttling away. Then when he finished the banana, Schumacher entered the pits and voila, Brawn picked up a new banana.

Amazing stuff.

Don't know though if to believe, sounds a bit technical.

DUDE IM ROLLING ! , that was the funniest shite ever

[ZZMS]

And poor Rubens had to use the T-car prepared for MS several times. He even used the car MS quailfied on for the race. I see, it is indeed had to be unhumanly efforts for Rubens to work for Ferrari. Damn bastards

[Eau Red]

Originally posted by karlth
Saw this on another website:
It seems that the doctors at the Northampton General Hospital who treated Schumacher immediately after his crash used materials supplied by Ferrari to pad the tibia and fibula that had broken. The problem is that according to McLaren the padding was never removed and having these bionic materials supporting his "throttle" foot has given Schumacher superhuman strength in his right leg since late 1999.

Dr. Klaus Hergerscheimer Head of Surgery at the University Hospital in Bern said in an interview with Hamburger Zeitung that this extra strength should allow Ferrari to remove all throttle hydraulic systems from Michael's car as he could floor the throttle unassisted. Not having to use any hydraulic systems in the front of the car could save around 30-40 kg, weight that could be shifted to the middle of the Ferrari.

I think the head of surgery would know that materials that "pad the tibia and fibula" would not allow Schumacher to apply any more force to a gas pedal. Unless these materials contain small motors that pull on Schumacher's tendons.

[JVRACER]

Actually I do have a question. If they did do that , wouldnt it be hard to engineer Rubens car differently?.

[karlth]

Originally posted by Eau Red
I think the head of surgery would know that materials that "pad the tibia and fibula" would not allow Schumacher to apply any more force to a gas pedal. Unless these materials contain small motors that pull on Schumacher's tendons.

Are you saying Dr. Klaus Hergerscheimer is a quack?

[TAB666]

that was a great one karlth

[Eau Red]

Originally posted by karlth


Are you saying Dr. Klaus Hergerscheimer is a quack?

Klaus, the guy from Diamonds Are Forever? Never!

[karlth]

Originally posted by Eau Red
Klaus, the guy from Diamonds Are Forever? Never!

Nice catch.

[wawawa]

Originally posted by Eau Red
Klaus, the guy from Diamonds Are Forever? Never!

G-section!! Heck, how did I miss that?

[Car no.27]

That is some very funny stuff.

[The Swerve]

I wonder if there is any illegal electronics in there too? Maybe if you plug Michaels leg into a laptop and scroll down the options you'll find a hidden menu.........

[Zmeej]

Karlth

Don't know though if to believe, sounds a bit technical.

When in doubt, get technical!

Ensign

a slight German accent? Typical side effect of oxide-calcite poisoning.

My wife is an occupational hygienist. I'm going to have to let her know about this...

BTW, would you know what causes Italian, French and Slavic accents?

[Chris G.]

Originally posted by Car no.27
That is some very funny stuff.

Ms. Jones, I am Klaus Hergerscheimer, checking radiation levels. G Section.

[rgagne]

Originally posted by George Bailey
I'm pretty sure they used beryllium.

No, it's Barrilium, they took it from Ruben's leg after the race, saying: sorry, but Michael needs it, you know...

RGagne

[BuonoBruttoCattivo]

Originally posted by mera308gtb
If I was going to have any part of my body made bionic, it wouldn't be my leg.

Viagra has been available for quite some time now.

[Foxbat]

I refuse to believe it unless it is confirmed by Dan Rather.

[Zmeej]

First, that guy's got to learn what the frequency is...

[Genocide]

You learn something new daily.

[System of a Down]

No, it's Barrilium, they took it from Ruben's leg after the race, saying: sorry, but Michael needs it, you know...

Funny, but I believe you....

[Ferrari FX]

Funniest shite for days!

[Schuting Star]

Thanks for that!

[Amnios]

Ron really is getting desperate. Stop being such a poor loser.

Amnios.

[Amnios]

Originally posted by karlth
Originally posted by vapaokie
Isn't the throttle controlled by wire? i.e., no direct linkage?

Might well be. A theory I read about on the Hamburger Zeitung website said that it might have something to do with Ross Brawn's banana.

You see with Schumacher's illegal plate in his leg acting as a antenna it could be possible to remote control it from the pits. Now they can't use any visible antennas as they are all accounted for by FIA but according to the theory there is a controlling antenna in Ross Brawn's banana! Amazing.

They even said there was an amateur video available that showed clearly how Ross Brawn moved the banana backwards when Schumacher's Ferrari was entering corners and then forward when throttling away. Then when he finished the banana, Schumacher entered the pits and voila, Brawn picked up a new banana.

Amazing stuff.

Don't know though if to believe, sounds a bit technical.

Now I KNOW this is a joke

Amnios.

[Bruce Moxon]

Oh, wonderful stuff. About time someone exposed this technology for what it is.

By the way, I understand the technology was originated by a Dr Hugo Z Hackenbush.

And my belief is that French and Italian accents are caused by excessive use of olive oil-based salad dressing. Slavic accents are due to a slavish need to be accented, without the flair of Italian or French.

Bruce Moxon

[Frans]

hmmmmmmm.

this all makes sence.

[karlth]

Remember all those times this season when Rubens in Michael's spare car was unable to move forward from the grid?

Ferrari's explanation? Gearbox problems. Yeah right. He just didn't have the strength with his human right foot to move that non hydraulic throttle pedal.

Poor Rubens. I just can picture him in Michael's Ferrari trying and trying to push the inhuman throttle pedal. But nothing happens. Poor Rubens.

[sensible]

This is old news, including the banana. Actually maclaren developed it first for mika hakkinen. there really never was a driver called mika hakkinen - the real one died as a child and was surgically implanted with berrilyum and neuro processors to be the perfect driving machine. No-one would ever have known if they hadnt skimped on the human interaction side. Thats why he used to take two minutes to answer every question in the press conference - the maclaren engineers used to have to type in the answers in at the keyboard to get it relayed to the voice box. If you walk through the pits today you can still hear them laughing about how they'd have competitions to see who could wind up DC in the most amusing way.

[Pingu]

Oh yeah! Was the original article printed on the 1st April?

[Breadmaster]

Originally posted by Frans
hmmmmmmm.

this all makes sence.

[Pingu]

I think someone's pulling my leg on this one.



(sorry, couldn't resist it! )

[CONOSUR]

Originally posted by Pingu
I think someone's pulling my leg on this one.

Try to keep both of your hands in plain view...








(sorry, couldn't resist it! )

[Tec Freak]

Ferrari's cheating goes even deeper than you suspect.

Micheal's leg also was LENGTHENED durng the surgery, and he now can press this throttle foot even farther forward than before. Ferrari cut a hole in the floor pan and MS now can move the throttle all the way through the floor, which obviously makes the car faster.

In implementing this technological breakthrough Ferrari sought advice from the famous rock bank Spinal Tap, and eventually employed the same chap who made those volume knobs that went "all the way to eleven."

The FIA is considering an amendment to the technical regulations requiring all drivers to have equal length legs. In addition to leveling the playing field, Ruebens no longer would have to drive the T-car using platform shoes.

[RedFever]

actually this is old news. After Ron Dennis appealed to have every win since Schumacher's 99 crash removed, the FIA had a meeting in Paris, where Ferrari brought its evidence and Dennis his files. Jackie Stewart's son also attended to keep with tradition. Jordan was there but he was noticed talking to Ferrari's sponsors more than following the actual case.

Paris, November 03, 2002
"Ferrari won the appeal. Mr. Ron Dennis provided substantial and convincing evidence that Schumi's leg is in fact counterfit.

In addition, it appeared that also Mr. Schumacher's brain has been replaced, while a cloned version of Ross Brawn's brain has been introduced in his scull. That explains why a driver from Hürth-Hermülheim with 5 years of schooling has suddenly become the smartest strategist around.

The reason why Mr. Dennis lost his motion was that Mr. Todt, who appeared dressed as Emperor Napoleon ("in honor of my managerial model" he stated), reminded the court that in fact the FIA regulations don't mention anything about the consistency of the drivers bones and brains.

Montezemolo commented he was happy about another victory and informed the present crowd that Rubens will not be available for testing for the next 2 months due to sudden injuries suffered to both his legs. Badoer, who in the past had also tested the same bionic technology (apparently the doctors used the wrong leg, but he has since become a favorite with the ladies.....), will replace Rubens for testing duties."

[Wilcopyz]

it was the aliens all along. MS was injected with the same DNA in 1999 that has been used on, among others,

1-Michael Jordan

2-Tiger Woods

3-Ronaldo

4-Barry Bonds

he was the first caucasian success allowed them to inject the stuff on

1-Kurt Warner

2-Michael Owen

3-Domicick Hasek

4-Tom Brady



Wilcopyz