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Jacques Villeneuve movie rumours

Started by masterhit , Nov 16 2003 01:10

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#1 masterhit

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Posted 16 November 2003 - 01:10

Courtesy of Greg Saks, reporting for movierumors.com:

Touchstone Pictures announced yesterday that Spike Jonez's big toe has been signed to direct the movie of Jacques Villeneuve's life.

Rumours have been circulating for some time that Jacques was looking for a suitable vehicle, but few expected it to be a movie.

Little is known about the form that the movie will eventually take. But here at movierumours.com, we never let such a lack of facts get in the way. Here's what we have heard on the subject, exclusive to movierumours.com:

Who is in the line up to direct?
The Wachovski brothers are busy at the moment writing draft scripts. Having had their treatment for AC/DC Comics' "D For Dendvetta" rejected on the grounds that it is "too clever, not enough guns and where's the people surviving explosions and fighting", we hear that Columbia Pictures have taken up an option on their script for Marvellous Comics' "Spastic Man", a man who is taunted for being physically disadvantaged, but who turns into a regular blue collar nerd when subjected to bright light.

Everybody else appears to be out of the frame. The smart money is on Spike Jonez' big toe. The rest of his body is signed to direct the sequel to Harry Potter's "The Swinging Detective", the story of a writer with eczema who imagines himself as a man who can move his immobile body by swinging higher and higher, hallucinates being surrounded by Mugwumps, various other knockoffs of characters from "The Lord of The Rings" trilogy and "Alice in Wonderland", all set in the future. Are his hallucinations real? Is reality a dream? Breathtakingly original stuff, and none of that dark crap with the awful World War II British music in the BBC version.

Which actors are in the line up to star?

We hear that Robert Redford has signed already to play Craig Pollock. Rumor has it that Redford is taking this role seriously, spending up to half an hour getting his character's Scottish accent just right. Already talk is of an Academy Award nomination.

Haydn Christensen (Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode I and II) has signed a contract to star as Jacques Villeneuve. Jacques had wanted Jack Nicholson to play the role, but executives said he was "too expensive" and "a bit on the old side... a bit like you Jacques." Jacques had then suggested Christian Slater, but executives said he was "getting a bit past it.. a bit like you again, eh, Jacques? We want to make money on this."

"Oh okay, that for sure is like me!" said Jacques. Allegedly.

The movie has the working title of "Undecent Proposal". This is what we have learned so far of the plot, exclusive to movierumors.com:

Jacques is with his girlfriend in a bar. Robert Redford (playing Craig Pollock) spots Jacques and his stunning girlfriend at a pool table. He asks Jacques to play a game of pool with him. Jacques, being a competitor, cannot resist.

As the two men play pool, his girlfriend looks on anxiously. Something is going on that has not been spoken.

Yet.

Redford, as Craig Pollock asks Haydn, playing the role of Jacques, what does he think of F1 racing.

Jacques says for sure it's a good sport, he'd love to race, but he wants to learn to ski.

Craig then casually mentions that he is a ski instructor. Jacques is impressed. To Jacques, this is the ultimate. Craig clearly has done all there is to do in life. He must be very, very rich, thinks Jacques. Jacques is falling for him.

Craig then makes Jacques an Undecent Proposal. "Suppose I were to offer you one million dollars to not have one night with your future wife, and instead let me screw your career?"

Greg Saks, reporting for movierumors.com.