62 replies to this topic

[Ron Scoma]

"You must get pretty good gas mileage the way you drive."

"He was the Dutch Hillclimb Champion."

Others?


Ron Scoma
#41

[Rob G]

"Spectators had plenty of time to read the sponsor logos as he drove past."

"John Deere would be the ideal sponsor for him."

The owner changes the car number to 33 1/3 because the driver spins so much.

"He does his best to make sure that his mechanics remain employed."

[Ray Bell]

"He's done nothing today to endanger his amateur status..."

[ensign14]

I know it's not in the spirit of the thread, but check out some choice real insults at F1 Rejects...I particularly like the Roebuck saying Délétraz made Lavaggi look "like Nuvolari". And the Muddly soundbite.

[BorderReiver]

I heard this in a driver's meeting at Mallory Park.

"You know the chequered flag? The first one you see after all the blue ones?"

*EDIT* It wasn't directed at me by the way, the best I've had is "You are a f***ing idiot f***wit."

[MPea3]

Spoken by David Hobbs as the car totally missed the chicane, slinging gravel everywhere...

"He's taking the Minardi line through the corner."

[Pablo Vignone]

There was a driver so slow that "the ants were climbing to the wheels" his team-manager said.

[Mischa Bijenhof]

Adrian Campos was once described as having flies sitting on his helmet, even while he was driving.

[Lifeline]

In an effort to wind my father up many years ago in the British Saloon car championship, his team manager appeared at the door of the car after it came in to the pits with a lit candle and a calander instead of his normal clip board with the times on it.

[Twin Window]

My brother's reaction to spotting me whilst on the Llandow stage of the 1988 Welsh National Rally could be regarded as insulting! (But not by me )

[Twin Window]

My brother and I 'encouraging' our fellow co-driver and friend Gary Barak (son of Phil) during the 1990 Mondello Park 24 Hour 2CV race...

[Pat Clarke]

"He's so slow he has to clean the dead flies off the back of his helmet" An oldie, but most recently heard from the late Barry Sheene
PDR

[Carlo]

"He was the Dutch Hillclimb Champion."

It may sound absurd and funny at the same time, but there have been hillclims in the Netherlands!!!!
I wonder why our Dutch members didn't mentions that already ;)

In the 1960ies there have been "Heuvelclimbs" at Vaals, the little Dutch town at the German-Belgian-Dutch border triangle.

Exactely the point of the three borders is on the highest point of the Netherlands.
The way up there has some very nice hairpin corners.

Today it's one of the most visited sights in the Netherlands.

Btw, some weeks ago I saw the live coverage of the Moto GP race in Qatar....

On Eurosport they analized the performance of Biaggi:
"No surprise that Max Biaggi's bike is so quick on the desert track - he's sponsored by Camel"

Ciao Carlo

[EcosseF1]

I always remember James Hunt's comment about De Cesaris:

"Andrea should think about taking up cricket...he's a master at taking people out"

[JRobert]

How about something earthy from the "Intimidator?" Aimed at other drivers who expresed concerns about superspeedway speeds.

"If you don't want to go fast, then quit racing and go do something else. And you might want to get some kerosene rags and tie them around your ankles. That'll keep the bugs from crawling up your legs and eating your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt.

[jph]

I always remember James Hunt's comment about De Cesaris:

"Andrea should think about taking up cricket...he's a master at taking people out"

Similarly on Manfred Winkelhock when getting in the way while being lapped: "Remember that Winkelhock runs in blinkers"

[dewittereus]

In 1978 during the IoM TT races Mick Grant - very successful in British races - was asked if thought Phil Read (several times World Champion), but not top level anymore - would "pose a threat".


Mick's answer: "pose yes, threat no" Not really an insult perhaps in view of Read's attempts to get publicity.

Does anybody remember what Lauda said exactly in 1974 when asked whether he considered Regazzoni a competitor or colleague ?

Dick

[ensign14]

Originally posted by dewittereus

Does anybody remember what Lauda said exactly in 1974 when asked whether he considered Regazzoni a competitor or colleague ?

Dick

Wasn't that Reutemann in 1977? His answer, I believe, was one word - "neither".

[Orin]

Originally posted by ensign14
I know it's not in the spirit of the thread, but check out some choice real insults at F1 Rejects...I particularly like the Roebuck saying Délétraz made Lavaggi look "like Nuvolari". And the Muddly soundbite.

What a fantastic site!

[Jim Thurman]

Does self deprication count?...

If so, NASCAR driver Herman "The Turtle" Beam, a true character:

"I don't know what it takes to be a good racing driver, but whatever it is, I don't have it."

[doc540]

Brutally honest about his own car an setup, A.J. Foyt, Jr. spoke candidly to a live audience when a sportscaster asked how his car was performing during Carb Day at Indy years ago.

A.J.: "Oh, it's a just a shltbox"

Now back up to the booth, Vince!

[Ray Bell]

Maybe not totally in keeping, but I just found this while looking for something else in a thread on old driver pairings that's almost two years old... Lloyd Ruby the subject...

Originally posted by Jim Thurman
.....Lloyd was famous for as a slow talker with a heavy Texas drawl...two good stories involving him.

A few years ago during an Indy practice telecast, they ran a piece on Lloyd Ruby. Afterwards, Tom Sneva (doing the commentary) said that a fellow driver (I forget who now) said "It's a good thing Rube never won...he'd still be talking at the banquet".....

[Frank S]

"Michel Jourdain sounds like someone who, as a race car driver, makes really good pants."
—BILL LANKHOF -- Toronto Sun

[JohnB]

Originally posted by Jim Thurman
Does self deprication count?...

I seem to remember Johnny Hebert explaining his grid position to Motoring News in one race with "Well, I drove like a w**ker in qualifying".

[FLB]

Originally posted by Jim Thurman
Does self deprication count?...

Paco Godia, after Monaco 1956, where Fangio seemingly hit every corner of his Lancia-Ferrari:

'It doesn't take a World Champion to do that. I could have done that!'

[Henri Greuter]

Originally posted by doc540
Brutally honest about his own car an setup, A.J. Foyt, Jr. spoke candidly to a live audience when a sportscaster asked how his car was performing during Carb Day at Indy years ago.

A.J.: "Oh, it's a just a shltbox"

Now back up to the booth, Vince!

A.J. Selfknowledge was legendary too.

Asked after qualifyining at Indy one year when he didn't do that well,
"I ran it like a tub of sh.t"

NASCAR fined someone 25 points for such a remark recently, A.J. got away with only a fine for $25...

[Pablo Vignone]

Paco Godia, after Monaco 1956, where Fangio seemingly hit every corner of his Lancia-Ferrari:

I think it was during the 1957 Buenos Aires 1.000 Kilometers, when they shared the Godia's Maserati. Fangio hit the nose of the car, and the Spaniard was a little angry because he had to pay the repair bill!

[FLB]

Originally posted by Pablo Vignone


I think it was during the 1957 Buenos Aires 1.000 Kilometers, when they shared the Godia's Maserati. Fangio hit the nose of the car, and the Spaniard was a little angry because he had to pay the repair bill!

You're absolutely right...

But it's still a funny quote!

[doc540]

Henri, that could have been the Foyt quote about which I was thinking.

The older I get the remember I less.

[xflow7]

Not a quote from a racer or commentator, but it cracked me up when a good friend of mine replied to my observation that Peugeot had to fix their reliability issues:

"If you mean by reliability, they need to keep Gronholm from reliably wrecking every other race."

[pluto]

1981 joke
Why De Cesaris has car N. 8?
Because it's the only number you can read upside down

[Gary Barak]

Ahhh, happy days XXX

Originally posted by Twin Window
My brother and I 'encouraging' our fellow co-driver and friend Gary Barak (son of Phil) during the 1990 Mondello Park 24 Hour 2CV race...

[Vitesse2]

Calm down! Calm down!

[John Morrison]

Just listen to anything bitter Buford spit out.

[Paolo]

"The only intelligent thing in Mansell's car is the suspension"

Michele Alboreto

[Paolo]

I once heard the late Sandro Corsini, in his capacity as a team manager, commenting on a (slow) driver that complained about helmet buffeting.

"Now I understand, it's all linked: the head moves and the foot comes up"

[f1steveuk]

I once heard a team engineer of a team I was in remarking on my team mates (the guy with the money!) requests for gear ratios,

"how the hell do I get all five of those on the reverse shaft"

[alansart]

A comment from a fellow marshall regarding a particularly slow 70's Formula Ford driver...

"He couldn't drive a nail into a bit of wood!"

[Greatest]

I seem to remember that when Carlos Reutemann was racing in F2 and caused an accident (at Hockenheim?), Jochen Rindt called Carlos a stupid Indian (or something like that)?...

[markpde]

Originally posted by alansart
A comment from a fellow marshall regarding a particularly slow 70's Formula Ford driver...

"He couldn't drive a nail into a bit of wood!"

...which Martin Brundle must have picked up on - he used that expression on TV a couple of years ago about... - can't remember - what does that tell you?

[Twin Window]

Sounds to me like a sanitised version of the reason a lot of people I know call less-than-impressive drivers 'Soapy', which comes from the expression 'he couldn't drive a soapy stick up a dog's arse'.

[kayemod]

I've just deleted a very similar post, but TW probably types faster than me. One F3 driver I knew happily answered to the call "Soapy!", not understanding the real meaning. I forget the alternative explanation his pit crew had provided, but it clearly satisfied his curiosity.

[Tony Matthews]

Originally posted by kayemod
I've just deleted a very similar post, but TW probably types faster than me. One F3 driver I knew happily answered to the call "Soapy!", not understanding the real meaning. I forget the alternative explanation his pit crew had provided, but it clearly satisfied his curiosity.

Perhaps he thought it meant 'Faster than a bar of soap round a wet bath!'

[rateus]

Didn't Nigel Mansell refer to Alain Prost as a 'chauffeur' after Prost took over from him at Williams?

[stevewf1]

At a NASCAR race many years ago, retired NASCAR star Bobby Allison was asked to give the command to start engines. I don't follow NASCAR, but for some reason, Allison wasn't a great fan of fellow competitor Jimmy Spencer...

The way Allison gave the command (over the loudspeakers, of course).

"Gentlemen... and Jimmy Spencer... Start your engines".

[alansart]

Not an insult as such, but Clerk of the Course, Don Trueman would generally finish his drivers briefings with...

"and Formula Ford drivers DON'T DO IT!"

[alansart]

The great Russell Brockbank covered the subject on occasion

[TrackDog]

I believe it was Harry Hyde in NASCAR who told one of his drivers under a caution period to..."Go hit the pace car! You've hit everything else out there today, and I want you to be perfect!".


Dan

[seldo]

A race driver I knew was known as "Helium foot".
Another "couldn't drive out of sight on a dark night"
Another "couldn't drive a nail into butter"
Wayne Gardner during his foray into Touring Cars in Aust was known as "Captain Chaos" because he "had more hits than the Beatles"

[Hoofhearted]

One of my favorites is the announcer at a mile flat track (Sacremento I believe) "The only time he was on the racing line was when he rode across it."


My favorite personal insult came from our clubs president. I had a particularly bad day with my Norton at the Pheonix Park in Dublin in 1980. I was getting ready to load up and go home. The club president walked past and without breaking stride he said "When did they start making Nortons with reverse?"