90 replies to this topic

[Buttoneer]

According to the BBC news website DC and Eddie Irvine are to captain teams in a TV show in which celebs get to drive various toys and eventually get a race round Silverstone.

Sky One programme director Richard Woolfe said: "Our round-the-clock cameras will capture all the blood, sweat and tears in this ultimate test of speed and ability.

"The celebs may have Porsches and Lamborghinis, but it doesn't mean they can hack it on a professional Grand Prix circuit."

No news on when this is going to be broadcast but you may want to scan the schedules.

[Suzy]

The words "crap" and "what a load of" spring to mind! Along with "WHY?". I think I can find 101 better things to do with my time than watch trash tv like that.

[Don Speekingleesh]

November says Pitpass.

[BorderReiver]

Originally posted by Suzy
The words "crap" and "what a load of" spring to mind! Along with "WHY?". I think I can find 101 better things to do with my time than watch trash tv like that.

Such as come on here and talk about it . . .

[PhilKerr]

As Chris Balfe said its the perfect excuse to go to the pub

[Suzy]

Yes BR. Because I least I can usually find intelligent conversation on here.

[Buttoneer]

I'm wondering when DC is going to find the time. An off-season Silverstone won't be much fun.

"This programme is sponsored by Red Bull Racing, they give you flexi wings"

[PhilKerr]

Originally posted by Suzy
Yes BR. Because I least I can usually find intelligent conversation on here.

Course you can I am a member

[John B]

I'm sure they'll have the art of moving over for the boss perfected........

[fifi]

could be interesting

[jonpollak]

Hold on...
Wasn't this mooted a few years ago when crap TV was delivered to the ITV faithfull sitting like stones in their front rooms?


ITV bosses have announced a new programme to build-up to the first Grand Prix
weekend, inspired by the success of "I'm A Celebrity..."

Ten F1 drivers hopeful of resurrecting their careers will be put into the
Australian jungle, where they will have to complete certian tasks to gain food
and credibility. The winning driver will then be funded by ITV to have one race
in Minardi once Zsolt Baumgartner's funds run out. The winner will be
announced on a live show whilst the first qualifying session of the season is taking
place in Melbourne, to be followed by the qualifying footage.

Although the drivers taking part have yet to be confirmed, sources with ITV
have leaked the ten most likely candidates...

- Eddie Irvine: The Irishman has expressed his interest to resurrect his
career, though it has been denied it is yet another excuse not to come back to the
UK due to his arrest warrant.

- Alex Yoong: No programme of this nature would be complete without the
greatest F1 joke of recent years taking part.

- Jacques Villeneuve: Like Jordan, Villeneuve will be paid far more to take
part than the other drivers as ITV believe he will have the biggest audience
pulling potential. His firey temper and unpredictable nature should have viewers
gripped. An early favourite to win.

- Antonio Pizzonia: 'Jungle Boy' is expected to make the best of the
situation, and his hopes of victory are high.

- Nigel Mansell: ITV hope Nige alone will pull in a lot of British viewers,
though he's reportedly been banned from using the Bush telegraph more than once
day for fears that his repeated whining would ruin the programme's appeal.

- Mika Hakkinen: After his recent article in F1 racing, the public will be
intrigued to know what Mika thinks about the talent of some of the characters
he's sharing the camp with. TV bosses are also expected to decicate much of the
show to wife Erja overlooking proceedings.

- Johnny Herbert: Will be one of the most popular characters on the show;
Johnny's looking forward to a laugh in the jungle.

- Martin Brundle: Was expected to be one of the programme's hosts, but when
told it meant an extra 10 days alongside James Allen, Martin begged to be one
of the contestants.

- Nelson Piquet: Another big character that will add spice to the jungle; how
he'll get on with Nige remains to be seen!

- Taki Inoue: The other drivers reportedly told bosses to bring Inoue into
the camp, because they felt that a ) he'd make them all look a lot, lot better,
and B ) they'd feel more secure, because if anybody was to be attacked by a
deadly animal, it would be him.

Each day the contestants will have to face a bush-tucker trial to get food
for the camp. The source also leaked what each trial would be:

- Interviewing Kimi Raikkonen. The driver must keep Kimi talking for 10
minutes, and each minute gained will be meal for camp. Falling asleep during the
task will result in instant disqualification.

- Listening to James Allen. There will be snail race, and the contestant will
have to listen to James Allen commentate on it for an hour and a half, about
the same amount of time British viewers have to put up with it. Once again,
falling asleep will result in no meals.

- Estimating Bernie's wallet. Bernie will bring his wallet along, and the
driver has to guess how much money is in it. For each £1000 he is out, the camp
will lose a meal.

- A burger race with JPM. The driver will have to sit alongside Montoya and
eat burgers in a competetive race; for each extra burger Juan has consumed
after one minute the camp will lose a meal.

- Translating Ron Dennis. Ron will give ten statements; the driver will have
to work out what the hell he's talking about. A meal will be given for each
correct answer.

- Boxing with Jos Verstappen. One of the most feared trials will see the
driver in the ring with The Boss; each minute he lasts will gain a meal for camp.

- Fridge Throwing with Schumi. The driver will be up against Michael
Schumacher in a fridge-throwing competition; there will be ten heats and each time the
driver throws his fridge further than Schumi's, a meal will be gained.

- Pulling competition. A fit Aussie babe will be flown into the jungle, and
the driver will have to chat her up and get her to take her knickers off within
a limited time. However, the difficult part is that David Coulthard, Flavio
Briatore and Jenson Button will be there too and if any of them succeed in the
task before the contestant, then the camp will get no meals.

- Crashing cars out. The contestant will be put into a multi-player game of
GP2, playing against Schumi. The race will be at Jerez, and for each extra car
Schumi takes out over the contestant the camp will lose a meal.

Ant and Dec have turned down the opportunity to host the show, so bosses have
put James Allen and Jim Rosental in charge (who will imaginatively call
themselves "Jamie and Jimbo") With this strong line-up, ITV expect the show to be a
ratings-winner. Watch this space!


Thought so....
Jp

[Garagiste]

Top stuff JP.

[BorderReiver]

Originally posted by jonpollak

- Taki Inoue: The other drivers reportedly told bosses to bring Inoue into
the camp, because they felt that a ) he'd make them all look a lot, lot better,
and B ) they'd feel more secure, because if anybody was to be attacked by a
deadly animal, it would be him.

Funniest. Thing. Ever.

[jonpollak]

Thank you very kindly Mr G but it ain't mine... I didn't write it
Just had it sitting in my "Too Stupid To Be F1" folder
I wonder who's it is though?

Hmmm
Jp

[SirSaltire]

Doubt this will ever happen but I would tune in to it. It would be worth it just to revive the old DC/Eddie Irvine banter fights!

[mikedeering]

That's the funniest post for a while!

[Jackman]

Amusingly DC has an all girl team, including Cerys Matthews and Melissa Joan Hart, while Irvine has all blokes, highlighted by the entry of Goldie and Frankie Muniz.

[jonpollak]

Frankie can drive!!!
Jp

[jhodges]

I dunno, one of the best parts of Top Gear IMO are the "Sensibly Priced Car" lap times with the celebs. If the show is one long version of that I would totally be into it. DC and EI will offer some great insight & commentary on the drivers as well.;)

[djned]

well, this started tonight.

http://www.skyone.co...mme.aspx?pid=95

interesting choices of celebs, to say the least. melissa joan "sabrina" hart has done some racing before and looks ok. brian johnson from ac/dc and les ferdinand are also pretty quick. very interesting to see tamara ecclestone reprazenting (she had an off track excursion in tonight's maserati trofeo race and was the only driver not to post a time).

apart from that it's pretty batty reality fare. lots of sexist codswallop, denise van outen oo-erring about eddie irvine, hosts trying too hard to be funny. dc on the other hand isn't being as funny as he can be. eddie irvine is being as misogynistic as he always is, and sporting a mullet and a baseball cap he refuses to take off (is the playboy balding?).

yawn.

[BorderReiver]

It was crap.

Melissa Joan Hart and Brian Johnson are evidently the most talented by some distance. Sir Les Ferdinand is mighty quick but looks lary.

It's crap, but it's between Hart and Johnson for me . . .

[Clatter]

Absolute rubbish.

Load of crap celebs (if you can really call them celebs) given a week of driving that most of us would kill for. No personality between them.

The presenters are too awful to describe. Talk about bringing the whole thing down to the lowest common denominator.

Wonder how many will turn up at Silverstone for the live final?

[ensign14]

Originally posted by djned
melissa joan "sabrina" hart has done some racing before and looks ok.

Indeed.

[F1Fanatic.co.uk]

To paraphrase Calculon "that was so terrible I think it gave me cancer."

[Ferrari_F1_fan_2001]

I'm only watching it because of Denise Van Outen

[Bumper]

Well, it was as I expected it to be, it being broadcast on Sky. Everyone played/hammed up their given role: Denyse van Outen the Essex ladette, Eddie the playboy and DC the...ehm... actually DC looked rather nonplussed and bemused as if he couldn't quite remember why he had said Yes to the programme.

Melissa knows her stuff though, she's raced in quite a few celebrity races and will undoubtedly come out on top.

I'm not really into the Z-celebrity-has-been kind of thing but I watched it mostly because I ehm... just wanted to see my Eddie again Yeah what's with the curly mullet Eddie, it looked truly awful.

[roadie]

Originally posted by Ferrari_F1_fan_2001
I'm only watching it because of Denise Van Outen

Didn't see it but Jenny Frost is pretty hot too.

[ensign14]

Originally posted by Bumper
Melissa knows her stuff though, she's raced in quite a few celebrity races and will undoubtedly come out on top.

Indeed.

[umapathypon]

Originally posted by ensign14

Indeed.

[Bumper]

Maybe I should have phrased that differently ;)

[jonpollak]

You phrased it perfectly:up:


I watched a few minutes of this Reality/Celebrity/Timewasting at the pub up untill the landlord said to me..

"What the hell is this crap?..Please switch over to ITV Nightscreen or something will ya"

I was curious as to what Tamara was like.
She has lovely skin, her facial features are feline and she has a kind of smoulder to her.

Or maybe that was just the lager talking?...as it does after 10 pm.

Anyhow... after the channel was switched we started surfing the net for stuff on Tammy
Found a couple of funny items
Wiki Tam

Sarah Edworthy interview

Hell, we even found Dad's MySpace page

Will I watch tonight?...
Kinda doubt it

Jp

[Tenmantaylor]

I watched the first episode last night and the program format is beyond crap.

I hate reality TV shows and this lived up to my expectations.

However the cars they drive were pretty cool and most of them really went for it out on the track- especially Jenny Frost! Bit this only made up about 5 minutes of an hour show.

[Cheap Wine Alesi]

The person who thought up the concept of reality tv shows should be executed for his crimes.

[MortenF1]

Sabrina as in "boys - boys - boys, they're looking for a good time.." ??

[Tenmantaylor]

No- Sabrina the "not-so-teenage anymore and looking for cheap TV money" witch.

[Clatter]

Originally posted by Cheap Wine Alesi
The person who thought up the concept of reality tv shows should be executed for his crimes.

I think the concept of some of these shows is actually very good. It all goes downhill in the production.

[SirSaltire]

Oh Dear the production of the show is SO bad! I think the studio bits are going out live which accounts for some of it though. DC definitely looked as though he wanted to shout "get me out of here, this is crap!" I thought the on track stuff at Silverstone was ok and the whole thing may improve as the week goes on but the teams are well out of balance with the boys team having more "skill " albeit this may well change as the week goes on. I will watch it tonight to give it another chance then maybe just tune in for the "final" at the end of the week.

[Scorg]

If they focused on the track action rather then the studio that could well have made the program a hell of alot better. Just felt that there was too much studio that spoilt what the program was about.

[bira]

Watching this, I couldn't help but feel this is doing such a huge disservice to motorsport in general, and Formula One in particular. It was absolutely embarassing to watch. Eddie Irvine looks absolutely terrible - going on about what a glamorous life he's led in F1 and what a playboy he is, while this washed-up ageing midget shows up on screen with a stupid cap to hide the bald spot was just too pathetic. The studio segments were taken from some bad 1970s show, and the whole thing just screamed sleaze-cheap-boring-TV. I don't imagine any promotor of the sport seeing this as a good promotion to motor racing. I can't possibly imagine Bernie Ecclestone or David Coulthard's employers seeing this as a good publicity. Just plain terrible.

[pippin]

Yep, watched it last night too. Boys will win at a canter for sure. Not sure what DC and Eddie are actually supposed to do either, 'cos it looked like absolutely nothing to me. In fact they both looked bored.

I also agree that there was way too much studio blurb. Will it get better as the week goes on? I doubt it.

[djned]

ingrid tarrant came a cropper in a monster truck last night, so i was reliably informed by this morning's metro, aka the pinnacle of journalistic integrity and reporting excellence.

also on the beeb: http://news.bbc.co.u...ire/6127826.stm

looks like none of us were bothered tuning in again...unsurprising!

[ensign14]

I like the idea. Replace a Grand Prix (Hungary, say) with monster truck jumping. Something tells me Taki Inoue would be in demand again.

[Bumper]

I gave the programme another go last night to see whether things would improve in the course of this week....and switched off disappointedly after half an hour. Watched the monster truck accident and Ingrid took it all quite will being stuck upside down, knowing quite well like the rest of us, having been told by the safety expert who briefed them in advance, that even if the monster truck would topple over the driver would be safe in the seat cage. Sweet Tamara started crying though in commisseration, bless her.

I'm more worried about Eddie Irvine, the longer i look at him the more I think he has some kind of health problem? His face is all bloated and reddish and his eyes look all inflamed red rimmed. He also seems to have shrunk 10 inches or so in height compared to DC.

[se7en_24]

I'll admit to being the only one that likes this here then....

Iain Lee (the greatest DJ on the greatest radio station - LBC), Denise Van Outen (fwoooarrr) and tonight Mini Se7ens! It is mindless entertainment, but nevertheless I like it.

EDIT: I missed Sir Les as well... what a legend ;)

[BorderReiver]

Eddie Irvine looks genuinly awful on this. Life has not been kind to him. I think at the moment I'd have more luck in the "getting off with hot girls" stakes, even with the ginger beard and extra pounds . . .

[Mark A]

Watched the 1st one and thought the track stuff was okay, studio was terrible.

So actually thought it would be worth watching last night, but it was 100 times worse, okay the lack of 'race' footage to show didn't help but the bickering in the studio was like a bunch of 5 year olds.

If it wasn't for the fact they are in Mini's tonight (and as I'm a massive mini fan) I wouldn't be watching again.



And for anyone who thinks the main show is bad, I recommend you don't venture onto Sky 3 for the 'after show show'.

[Bumper]

Originally posted by Mark A
And for anyone who thinks the main show is bad, I recommend you don't venture onto Sky 3 for the 'after show show'.

What's that like then? Haven't ventured that far out yet.

[bill moffat]

Watched it last night and it is pretty dreadful stuff. Overall impression is that none of the participants are enjoying it (apart,possibly, from the AC/DC chappie) and that they are desperate to get through to Sunday.

Having watched their antics (and driving standards) in Mini 7evens how safe is it to let all 10 of them out in FFs for 30 laps of Silverstone on Sunday ? Can't believe the RACMSA would be too happy and personally I believe there is potential for disaster. Post-Hammond etc the adverse publicity to motor sport could be immense...

[Suzy]

Umm... did any of them actually take an ARDS test before being allowed out on track? If not then that's disgraceful! If any of them DID take and pass the ARDS then that's really shocking and the MSA need to look closely at their standards. There's been hardly any tuition either by the looks of things. It's a bit like showing a 12 year old girl a car and saying "there's the clutch, that's the brake and that's the accelerator - now just get in it and drive down a motorway during the rush hour". You just don't do it!

The standard of driving is extremely low; very few of the competitors have the first idea about racecraft, the dangers of getting inexperienced drivers to jump over scrapped cars in monster-trucks cannot be over-estimated, the suggestion that Ms Dynamite's road-going mini means that she is perfectly qualified to race a race-tuned Mini7 on a track with a load of other incompetent novices is a sick joke, watching one driver spin and attempt to rejoin by driving into somebody else, 2 drivers in Maseratis trying to drive down a straight bit of track but getting closer and closer to each other - and neither had ANY idea where the other driver was until they realised they were going to crash into each other... if you did any of that in an ARDS test then you'd be shown the door and told never to darken the doors of any race circuit ever again! This is literally car-crash tv and I wouldn't be surprised if somebody does get badly hurt before the week is out.

Apparently tomorrow's challenge is: trying to drive as fast as you can with somebody chasing you and trying to drive into you! Now, unless you're attempting to get a drive in the BTCC for 2007 then I really cannot see how that can be 1) entertaining; 2) safe and 3) a sensible assessment of driving ability!

[djned]

Originally posted by BorderReiver
Eddie Irvine looks genuinly awful on this. Life has not been kind to him. I think at the moment I'd have more luck in the "getting off with hot girls" stakes, even with the ginger beard and extra pounds . . .

and yet van outen is still slutting her awful hair extensions onto him. ladettes and their lads...am i missing something here?