41 replies to this topic

[Linus27]

This is on the best driver in the world forum (ALESI but I never needed to tell you that right??) so I thought I would pass it on here. it is none of my doing so I only take credit for my good looks and not this joke.

WHy did the chicken cross the road?(asked to f1 personalities)

M.Hakkinen:"Why did the chicken cross the road?Maybe(pause)maybe that's a question you'd have to ask a chicken"

D.Coulthard:"The chicken moved right across the road in front of me, preventing me from passing it!"

Murray and Martin:
Murray:And it's GO GO GO!!
Oh my word! The goose FLIES across the road!
Martin:It's a chicken Murray
Murray:YES YES YES! It's a chicken!
Oh my word! It's in the barrier!
Martin:That's not good Murray!
Murray:This will throw the badger racing competition wide open!

J.Villeneuve:"What if it got run over??It wanted to cross the road!!"

M.Schummi:It's clearly within the rules, the chicken can make one move across the road"

Verstappen:"I went off because of the stupid chicken!"

Schumacher fans:"Der Chicken has inferior feathers"

Max Mosley:"We must find ways of slowing the chickens down and making them safer,we will give them grooved feet.."

Here's a challenge: can u make one up?


Here is mine,

Alesi: The chicken is extremly rude, extremely dangerious and I do not like him. I was clearly faster than the chicken until he crossed the road and then I ran out of fuel.

Irvine: Working with that chicken is like going to work and getting punched in the face everyday. The chicken is clearly so fast that I will have to do better if I am to beat him.

Fizzy: I am very very appy for the chicken to cross the road.

Irvine, Coulthard and Villeneuve: The way the chicken crossed the road is very dangerious and has a lot to answer for.

[614david]

Hey, leave him alone Mo-Bee!!
Linus, that is obviously not your joke- it's not as funny as your poem:)
Though Viulleneuves response made me smile, i can just see him saying it:)


Ricardo Zonta- The team favours the chicken, it has far superior equipment to me!

[Linus27]

614david

Thanks for sticking up for me babe I know, its not my joke, I was bored and thought why not post it but you have reminded me that it is time to post the new poem so that should be up very soon.

[p][Edited by mel on 09-04-2000]

[Huw Jenjin]

M Schumacher. "To be honest I don't know, I will be talking about with my engineers later"

Murray Walker "I am not going to say anything in these final few laps but I do believe the chicken can now just coast to the other side of the road...........Oh No!"

Mika Hakkinen "........................................................MMM.............Why.......indeed...................."

David Coulthard " It couldn't get more blatant. He could see me coming and then just crossed straight in front of me. I had to follow it for thirteen corners, and on each one the marshalls were waving a blue flag"

Rhubens "It was an act of god"

Alain Prost " I 'ad the pen ready for 'im to sign ze contract an' 'e just flew....."

Ross Brawn "As a tactic it was just a logical extension of our german "madman on the loose" plan, that we have been evaluating at Fiorano"

Ron Dennis " I suspect fowl play. Just another one of Ferrari's tactics to introduce a chicken into the race. I will be protesting, as clearly an electronic aid will have been used to freeze the chicken before introducing it to the track"

Marc Gene "I lost radio with my team, so I did not let him pass, I thought we were competing for position"

Olivier Groillard "I didn't see him"

Adrian Newey "He appeared to be running a lot of wing"

Eddie Ervine "I have chicks after me all the time, which one do you mean?"

Johnnie Herbert" we are still trying to catch it to understand how it managed to cross the whole road"

Hockenheim Management "We are looking into it"

Silverstone Management " How did he get there at all?"

[Ray Bell]

Patrick Head: Looking at the sructural rigidity of its shell, then putting that into the background, as it seems to work for the chicken, we have then to wonder about the tractive effort available with wings in various positions. I'm concerned that the regulators will be looking at these movable wings more carefully, as we haven't been able to used them for years, but now there's been a precedent set I think a lot of designers will be burning midnight oil.
The weight seems very low, too.

[Linus27]

Huw

Your Ron Dennis joke is brilliant [p][Edited by mel on 09-04-2000]

[FredF1]

Rubens: When I saw the red comb on the chicken's head, I thought it was Michael and moved over to let it pass.

Pedro Diniz: I saw that the chicken had left a gap and moved over to take advantage - unfortunately we touched and the chicken knocked me out of a certain eleventh place...

[Samurai]

Michael Schumacher : That f*#king chicken tried to KILL me by making me crash into him!!!!

[Will]

Ralf Shumacher- Sh*t, that b*****d chicken tried to ruin my f*****g race- what a w*nker!

Jenson Button- It was no great surprise that the chicken crossed the road, since I had already seen a few cross before in my F3 days.

[Janne]

Post-race press conference:

Interviewer: What did you think of that chicken running around?

MH: Ooo...mmm... krhm. To avoid hitting the chicken was
very difficult, yes?

MS: Yes it was.

MH It may have looked easy, but it was a hard race.

Interviewer: Michael?

MS: Honestly, the chicken was faster than me. I never
said I was the best. But the game is not over yet.

[Ray Bell]

Louis Stanley... "For heaven's sake... back in 1957 it was a rabbit, and the thing went under one of Jean's wheels and a bone stuck through the tyre to put him out... if only we had a chicken back then, we would have won a race a year earlier!"

[Enzoluis]

Jean Todt & G. Agnelli: The Chicken has more probability than us to win the WC, but we will work hard to catch him.

[Ray Bell]

Jim Clark: "Boy, that was close, good thing it wasn't at Hockenheim!"

[Nathan]

Nasty Ray just nasty

[Ray Bell]

Oh, somebody did read it...

[mhferrari]

Alain Prost-I can't race with favouritism of mechanics with the chicken...the chicken...the chicken got the better equipment...I am going to another team...anyway, we had an agreement.

Michael Schumacher- Well the chicken got the advantage with the setup and I knew if he did not pass me now, he would in a few laps.

David Coulthard-Well I showed that chicken...I sure did flip the bird on that bird. But we should not do that to farm animals when there are children watching.

Jacques Villeneuve-I lost it through Eau Rouge when the chicken went flat out and cut me off.

Max Moseley- We will have to make the wings smaller...make its feet smaller...lower its downforce...for gosh sakes we need to add chicanes...and destroy classic tracks with them...because I am FIA president and I like to destroy the soul of F1...

Eddie Irvine-I can't compete when I am stuck behind this chicken..true its faster than me, but I am afraid to race with there being walls .

[T4E]

Mika Salo: Well, it was quite good, I just hoped it would have rained so that I would have been able to catch the damn chicken. And by the way, my team mate sucks.


T4E

[Billy]

Jos Verstappen

"Cross the road? Sjeez!! I didn't wanna become the Benetton BBQ chicken"

[Ray Bell]

Later, in private of course, Mosely said: "Of course, the chicken really IS the soul of F1."

[Mo-Bee]

this thread makes no sense especailly the first fewpost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Turbo]

Good stuff in this thread!

When Alain Prost was asked about the chicken, he said nothing, but merely shook his head in a gesture of exasperation.

[Ray Bell]

Hell, Mo-Bee, we'll all just have to try harder...

[aross]

Thank you Mr. Chicken, and now if we could have a few words in your native language . . .

cluck, cluck, cluck . . .

[Ray Bell]

Hell, I thought the chicken crossed the road, not won the race!

[Kapu7]

Guess whose answer this isn't...

"Why it had to be that damn uncharismatic chicken, my favourite chicken hasn't crossed the road for so long time!"

[aross]

Ray, if Minardi can dream, so can the chicken!

[Fast is Fast]

Dale Earnhart - "I really didn't mean to get in to the chicken that hard. He musta checked-up and I spun him. I really just wanted to rattle his cage. My #3 Goodwrench, Chevy, Neck-car was puurty quick today and I am glad we finally got past that #87 chicken."

[Ray Bell]

Chickens don't have a brain big enough to let them dream. Let's face it, they go to sleep when the sun's still shining and wake when it's still dark, and in the egg farms they think there's two days per 24 hours because the lights flicker on and off. Not too smart!

[OverTaker]

Alesi - "yes... it seems only fair dat dee chicken can a knock me out of da race since my partenaire was holreddy hout of da race."

Uncle Ron - "That chicken is trying to play mind games, and we just won't respond to it."

JV - "Although I've held back for quite some time, it's now clear to everybody that the chicken is an imbecile and has no place in F1!"

Meanwhile, on the bulletin board...

... Hey! Did anybody notice how the chicken grabbed Erja's bottom at the end of the race! Ohh, man, I'm reviewing the tape tonight!"

..." I heard it worked for Ilmor for a number of years and got sacked."

..."What? the chicken is disqualified but the eggs are still good? That doesn't make sense!"

..."Hey! What's Hakk doing to that chicken in the bush?"

..." It's clear the the chicken was not off the grid in time and that is why DC got a 10 seconds penalty"

man, I need therapy.

[614david]

Well Mo-Bee, if you wouldn't delete your damn posts, we might be able to understand what Linus and I were talking about:)

[westendorf]

That's no chicken, that a disgruntled Mercedes Benz employee
with a stupid cape. ciao, GFW

[Huw Jenjin]

The chicken had heard there was a Maserati Birdcage in the paddock.

[Bruce]

Andrea de Cesaris, picking feathers out of his helmet and wiping blood off his visor.. "what chicken? I didn't see any chicken!"

Ayrton Senna; ...you work hard, you devote your life to the sport and then some chicken f***s you! So I have to prove a point, to show that when you cross me, you pay! It was an order from Balestre! When I saw the chicken I didn't even try to avoid it. When you are screwed by the system, you have to live by your own rules, your own faith... I wish that I have a better start and therfore miss the chicken but I don't and what happened happened...

Nigel Mansell: Ummm well lets just say - and I'm not saying that this is what is happening - but lets just say that if a certain engine supplier would prefer for my team-mate to carry the #1 next year because he will still be with them, than it is easy for them to make sure that all of my best laps are spoiled by chickens crossing the road. Now I don't think this is happening or would happen, but it is a possibility and if I.... bla bla bla bla bla...

Micheal Schumacher; "Whats he doing in the road anyway? This isn't coffee and cookies with chickens... if a chicken wants to kill you he can find a better way to do it than crosing the road in front of you... "

JV; I don't know why the FIA keeps letting these chickens near the track, it seems like a sh*t rule to me..."

Eddie Irvine; "whooooo, did you see the gams on that chick(en)? hubba hubba!"

Mika Hakkinen; "The car was very good today and the team did a good job"

Johnny Herbert; (talking to Louise Goodman) " I've no idea why it crossed the road, but I wish it hadn't because that's the third race running I've been taken out on the first lap..."

Bernie Ecclestone; I thought it would improve the excitement of the race and therefore the ratings... so I paid him (chicken feed, really) to cross the track...

[Philwipe]

did you know this thread was mentioned in autosport in the pit bull section

[Davebo]

Originally posted by aross
Thank you Mr. Chicken, and now if we could have a few words in your native language . . .

cluck, cluck, cluck . . .

ROFLMAO!!!

Good one...

[Ray Bell]

Well, how about this... Alan Jones just read several of Linus' original quotes... he said that he was sent them by a F1 team... He read through them while Channel 9 were waiting for the drivers to come on with their interviews after the Italian GP.
No credit to this BB, of course.

[Linus27]

Wow, not only in Autosport but now on TV. Crikey DM, next I'll be in the movies. Can you imagine it, Staw Wars Episode 2, Anakin, why did the chicken cross the road?? Because the force is strong in the chicken but it is not a Jedi yet.

[Ray Bell]

Has anyone give you (or this BB) credit for it all yet?
And I still think it's a shame you didn't stick to the chicken crossing the road....

[Linus27]

Well I did not come up with the original idea like I say at the top of the thread but I did add my own comments after. I would like to know what ones Alan Jones read out on TV.

[garth_b]

Coulthard "I was on a flyer but the chicken checked me in the second chicane and I couldn't complete my best lap"

Frentzen "I had a problem through turn 5 and unfortunately checked the chicken. Then on my second run I came across the chicken in the same place and he checked me. I had to cut across the grass and my time was disallowed. I would have been higher on the grid otherwise"

[Yelnats]

Ross Brawn... "Was that an FIA approved chicken? We must have it plucked and measured."

Senna........ "The crossing doesn't matter, winning is the only thing."

Graham Hill.. "Can't say old chap, pluckey little beast, wasn't it. Sounded like a bag of nails."

FIA officials "Because of the poor crowd control we will be suspending this tracks licence."

Eddie Irvine. "Don't know but 'a bird in the bush is worth two in the hand. Wink Wink, Nudge, Nudge."

[Ray Bell]

AJ read most of your ones, Linus27, most of yours..

Send him a copyright notice and a bill... c/o Channel 9, Australia.