Posted 30 November 2007 - 16:17
Some say his politics are terrifying, and that he was born in space. All we know is, he's called The Stig.
Some say he is wanted by the CIA, and that if he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci code in 43 seconds. All we know is, he's called The Stig.
Some say he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp, and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant, including the cameramen.. All we know is, he's called The Stig.
Some say jimmy Carter wants him dead, and that his genitals are on upside down. All we know is, he's called The Stig.
Some say his earwax tastes like Turkish Delight, and that on really warm days, he sheds his skin like a snake. All we know is, he's called The Stig.
Some say he once, preposterously, had an affair with John Prescott, and that he has a tattoo of Buzz Aldrin on his thigh. All we know is, he's called The Stig.
Some say he has a digital face, and that his skin has the texture of dolphins. All we know is, he's called The Stig.
Some say he was raised by wolves, and that if given an important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet. All we know is, he's called The Stig.
Some say his voice can only be heard by cats, and that he has named every single blade of grass surrounding the Top Gear test track. All we know is, he's called The Stig.
Some say he does not see like humans do, instead he sees numbers in green scrolling down, and that his brain is a Satellite navigation system. All we know is, he's called The Stig.
Some say that he's not really human, that he's an advanced alien life form. Others say his favorite food is Walrus. All we know is... he's called The Stig!
Some say long before anyone else he realised that Jade Goody was a racist, pig-faced, waste of blood and organs.
Some say he communicates only to a car's on board computer through binary code, and that he once killed a man who was towing a caravan, using only a steering wheel.
Some say he sucks moisture out of ducks and he models his crash helmet on Britney Spears" head.
Some say he appears on high-value stamps in Sweden, he"s illegal in 17 U.S. states.
Some say that wherever you are in the world if you tune your radio to 88.4 you can actually hear his thoughts.
Some say that he has no understanding of clouds.
Some that he once punched a horse to the ground.
Some say he once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner, and that he is in no way implicated in the cash for honours scandal.
Some say his fingernails have 330 bhp and that he was raised by wolves.
Some say he's scared of bells, and confused by stairs.
Some say that he has 2 pairs of knee's.
