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The driver-bashing thread (Bash your own favourite drivers)


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#1 Dicun

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 10:49

Hi all,

 

in a discussion about Button I jokingly wrote a list of things that usually come up when people bash JB. Marklar came up with the idea of writing such lists for all drivers in a similar manner.

 

Disclaimer: this thread is intended to be fun, light-hearted and amusing - I do not wish to see serious and heated arguments and any kind of denigration around here, please. In case I sense anything like that, I will immediately ask the moderators to lock the thread at once.

 

So, to avoid this, I would suggest that we try and stick to "bashing" our favourite drivers. Anyone who knows me also knows that I've been a diehard fan of JB, so here's my list on him: an unworthy WDC, one of the worst in the history of the sport; a smug playboy; championship won only because he had it incredibly easy during the first few GPs driving a rocketship Brawn; Lewis destroyed him in terms of pace but was much-much more unfortunate with reliability; 2011 is asterisked because Lewis was depressed; even the old, slow Barrichello outperformed him in the second half of 2009; the contract saga of 2004-2005; 2011 Canada is the worst GP win ever because he crashed into Lewis and Fernando on purpose; he shouldn't even have been given a seat after 2001; he stayed several years too late and isn't missed from the grid at all.

 

Plus an additional one from sopa: Whitmarsh and Button had a lovefest, which eventually led to the downfall of McLaren in 2013.

 

 I'm planning to do similar lists on Prost, Nico and Mika  :cool:

 

Let the fun begin, and once again, guys: please, be a good egg, play along nicely.



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#2 Zava

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 10:56

Vettel. awful moustache.

 

can't think of anything else tbh



#3 Hati

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 11:32

Vettel. awful moustache.

 

can't think of anything else tbh

 

Can't drive on wet. Hence Vettel, not Wettel.



#4 Tony Mandara

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 12:03

That Alan Proost.... As a driver, he was a 'bit of a thickie' wasn't he? Never seemed to think about what he was doing!  ;)

 

And Erton Sooner, too. Good to see a driver recognize that success is driven by hard work and dedication.... and not given to you by some deity or other....  :rolleyes:

 

 

   ;)   ;)



#5 Silberpfeil

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 12:21

Ocon is arrogant and untalented and has terrible taste in sunglasses.

#6 Tony Mandara

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 12:26

Unlike Perez, who is humble and respectful,..... and wears killer shades!

 

   ;)



#7 P123

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 12:27

Nobody is perfect. :)

I'm sure JYS alone would provide a good list for Hamilton. As embittered and snide as any annoyed Alonso, JB, Nico or Vettel fan could ever wish to be about him!

There are no doubt things about all drivers that people find genuinely annoying but this forum does tend to charge like a herd of angry sheep against the likes of Stroll, or di Resta, or Marquez. They are the standouts for a good old kicking.

#8 Atreiu

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 12:42

Irvine, everything. :mad:

 

For real.

 

Not a favourite at all.


Edited by Atreiu, 20 April 2019 - 16:18.


#9 Dicun

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 12:50

Nobody is perfect. :)

I'm sure JYS alone would provide a good list for Hamilton. As embittered and snide as any annoyed Alonso, JB, Nico or Vettel fan could ever wish to be about him!

There are no doubt things about all drivers that people find genuinely annoying but this forum does tend to charge like a herd of angry sheep against the likes of Stroll, or di Resta, or Marquez. They are the standouts for a good old kicking.

 

I don't think Sir Jackie is critical towards Lewis because he is bitter for being dethroned as the most successful British driver, as many like to claim. The things Sir Jackie criticises about Lewis are the exact same things he criticised about Senna or Schumacher back in the day. Jackie was driving in an era where dying was very much a reality for F1 drivers, so he has this approach to racing along the lines of absolute safety, no controversial manoeuvres, calculated risks, calmness and smoothness etc.

 

He has always been vocal about drivers not exactly fitting these criteria. I have no idea why the fans of Lewis feel he is after Lewis when he has always been like this. 

 

But the point of the topic is: provide a goodhearted list about either Lewis or Montoya yourself :)



#10 P123

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 12:55

Montoya is perfect. Can't think of one thing. :)

Ps- tennis balls are dangerous.  Really dangerous. 


Edited by P123, 20 April 2019 - 12:56.


#11 Sterzo

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 13:05

I don't think Sir Jackie is critical towards Lewis because he is bitter for being dethroned as the most successful British driver...

Trousers. It's all about trousers.

 

With Rodney Nuckey, it was shirts. I tried desperately to convince my schoolfriends racing drivers were cool, and then:

 

rodneynuckey.jpg?dl=1


Edited by Sterzo, 20 April 2019 - 13:27.


#12 GoldenColt

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 13:31

I don't think Sir Jackie is critical towards Lewis because he is bitter for being dethroned as the most successful British driver, as many like to claim. The things Sir Jackie criticises about Lewis are the exact same things he criticised about Senna or Schumacher back in the day. Jackie was driving in an era where dying was very much a reality for F1 drivers, so he has this approach to racing along the lines of absolute safety, no controversial manoeuvres, calculated risks, calmness and smoothness etc.

 

He has always been vocal about drivers not exactly fitting these criteria. I have no idea why the fans of Lewis feel he is after Lewis when he has always been like this. 

 

But the point of the topic is: provide a goodhearted list about either Lewis or Montoya yourself :)

 

https://www.google.c...6MCxat53bvoEj7q

 

https://www.google.c...KLo4BLwhiVMhao9

 

https://www.google.c...FuK_cqYiSgDPAfp

 

https://www.google.c...zoaBoPWAZ_RLoiH

 

https://www.google.c...3b5hOu2FXfLnDfa

 

https://www.google.c...uY8zT4eA-2DpwJd

 

https://www.google.c...l6ODYlvrZl2L8zm

 

https://www.google.c...R1KSjGW9cpulkON

 

https://www.google.c...42CRcUQxVhiluof



#13 PayasYouRace

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 13:39

Going by your avatar GoldenColt, you're supposed to be bashing, not defending, Lewis in this thread.



#14 ThadGreen

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 13:49

When I saw this and the "Button" thread I had to check the calendar because I thought the 2019 season had ended and we were now being entertained by frivolous discussions usually reserved for "between season" threads. :)

#15 Marklar

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 13:50

Lewis doesnt understand the concept of a banker lap.

#16 PlatenGlass

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 13:51

Ayrton Senna was just Jarno Trulli with a car advantage. Great in qualifying...

#17 Tony Mandara

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 13:58

Andera de Cesaris never crashed. He was just no good at parking.

 

 ;)



#18 P123

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 15:32

Going by your avatar GoldenColt, you're supposed to be bashing, not defending, Lewis in this thread.


That's more JYS's contribution. :)

#19 muramasa

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 15:48

Sebaspin! :D



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#20 TomNokoe

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 16:10

Hamilton is a loner.

#21 Spillage

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 16:20

I love Vettel, but he's not quite good enough.

Schumacher and Senna were both despicable cheats and geniuses in a racing car.

Mark Webber was a whiney git who was extremely lucky to get a top seat for as long as he did. Ditto Rubens Barrichello.

#22 pitlanepalpatine

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 16:22

I'm already dreading Baku, Hulkenberg can't handle barrier street tracks to save his life so I should probably start a betting pool on what lap he's gonna have his stupid shunt this year.



#23 sopa

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 16:26

To commemorate the driver on my avatar.

 

Tim O'Glock... or Timo Glock? He was so forgettable and boring that you would be excused to have forgotten that he actually existed.

 

:p


Edited by sopa, 20 April 2019 - 16:29.


#24 YoungGun

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 16:31

Another thread about the "Boy Band"? Get over it!



#25 RekF1

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 17:04

Not sure if I'm doing this right, but I wish Hamilton would stop his war against socks. #why?

#26 Albertino

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 18:46

Lewis doesn't understand international traffic light colors ( Pit lane, Montreal GP '08?)



#27 Coral

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 19:11

Lewis Hamilton's veganism is very annoying. By all means go vegan, but don't shove it down my throat please. :mad:



#28 tpgF1

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 19:19

For those who complain that Kimi mumbles all the time, he sure swears up a storm on team radio loud and clear.



#29 Zilbert

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 19:33

Kimi Raikkonen. Austria 2014. Loses half a second regularly to his teammate in T1 alone, rest of the lap isn't that far off. "I don't feel the grip from the front tyres". Well you know what, how about trying to throw a goddamn car in to the corner and hope and see if it would stick like most others drivers do, cause you know you're pretty much stuck with that car and tyres for the year. Have a little faith ffs. But no, he's his own man, with his own driving style, he needs to feel the grip from the front all the time, and don't care if he looks like an amateur. Dimwit. 



#30 milestone 11

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 20:02

Going by your avatar GoldenColt, you're supposed to be bashing, not defending, Lewis in this thread.


It's a SJYS backhand bash.  ;)

Edited by milestone 11, 20 April 2019 - 20:02.


#31 milestone 11

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 20:04

Vittorio Brambilla was bloody useless at cool down laps.

#32 azza200

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 20:05

Hamilton should stick to driving and not about becoming a rapper with his celeb friendz. No one want's to hear him rap 


Edited by azza200, 20 April 2019 - 20:05.


#33 CountDooku

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 20:25

Lewis Hamilton, in addition to being the greatest F1 pilot ever:
-thinks that the fans he’s racing in front of on any day are the greatest fans on the planet
-never has any grip while going purple rain in races
-is a militant vegan and posts loads of pictures of dead animals on Instagram
-isn’t enough of a playboy for a multimillionaire F1 driver living in Monaco
-jumps on any popular bandwagon. Have they found Kony yet?
-always finds a season “the hardest ever” while dominating and setting records.
-never drives the fastest car and is forever worrying about the pace of the slower Ferrari

Edited by CountDooku, 20 April 2019 - 20:29.


#34 AlexPrime

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 20:37

Damon, Mika and Seb sure know how to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory! :well:



#35 FirstnameLastname

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 21:45

Schumacher.

Awful at making shoes.

Great at saving stray dogs - Owned a few lapdogs in his time.

#36 Jovanotti

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 22:49

in addition to being the greatest F1 pilot ever:

You failed the task.

#37 Counterbalance

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 23:02

Hamilton spends too much time on social media and silly things like a personal life to be a truly dedicated F1 driver.

#38 BuddyHolly

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 23:43

Francois Cevert  -  was too happy playing 2nd fiddle to JYS in 73.



#39 genespleen

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Posted 21 April 2019 - 00:11

Lewis is a long way from catching up to Schuie's fashion sense.



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#40 DrF

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Posted 21 April 2019 - 07:08

Ayrton Senna was just Jarno Trulli with a car advantage. Great in qualifying...

Beat me to it

#41 messy

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Posted 21 April 2019 - 07:23

Lewis Hamilton has only racked up the numbers because he's been lucky enough to drive for the dominant team throughout the Hybrid era, while Ayrton Senna and Michael Schumacher obviously spent most of their careers driving glorified Ladas*

*except the bits where they actually, you know, won.

Mika Hakkinen could only win from the front, had no racecraft and was lucky to get some of Adrian Newey's best creations.
Sebastian Vettel can only win from the front, has no racecraft and was lucky to get some of Adrian Newey's best creations.
Damon Hill could only win from the front, had no racecraft and was lucky to get some of Adrian Newey's best creations.

#42 JonnyJ

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Posted 21 April 2019 - 08:10

Lewis Hamilton is worried the tyres won't last, 3 corners into a new set of hards, that his teammate took 40 laps.

#43 as65p

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Posted 21 April 2019 - 08:20

This ins't going too well, quite predictably. :p I sense at most 3 or 4 posts  willing and/or able to stay faithful to the thread topic.

 

Anyway... Alonso:

 

Pride isn't everything in life. Had you toned it down just a tiny bit at the right moments, you could look a 5 plus titles instead of just two. Silly.



#44 CountDooku

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Posted 21 April 2019 - 08:24

This ins't going too well, quite predictably. :p I sense at most 3 or 4 posts willing and/or able to stay faithful to the thread topic.

Anyway... Alonso:

Pride isn't everything in life. Had you toned it down just a tiny bit at the right moments, you could look a 5 plus titles instead of just two. Silly.

Bit harsh, I’d struggle to find many instances that pride stopped him from winning rather than just shite luck.

Edited by CountDooku, 21 April 2019 - 08:24.


#45 Widefoot2

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Posted 21 April 2019 - 08:28

To commemorate the driver on my avatar.

 

Tim O'Glock... or Timo Glock? He was so forgettable and boring that you would be excused to have forgotten that he actually existed.

 

:p

But he was great to have a drink with...



#46 Widefoot2

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Posted 21 April 2019 - 08:29



Hamilton spends too much time on social media and silly things like a personal life to be a truly dedicated F1 driver.

#Blessed.

 

[I just realized that maybe today was not the best to use this hashtag...]


Edited by Widefoot2, 21 April 2019 - 08:31.


#47 as65p

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Posted 21 April 2019 - 09:28

Bit harsh, I’d struggle to find many instances that pride stopped him from winning rather than just shite luck.

 

I don't mean individual races or even championships. More like the possibility to not fall out with McLaren management in 2007, or not take it personal that Ferrari employed what was supposed to a threath to him in Raikkönen 2014. Given his on-track qualities, he could have brushed all those obstacles aside and just do his talking on track. Maybe, in an ideal world...  ;)



#48 apoka

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Posted 21 April 2019 - 09:31

Hulk is making mistakes whenever there is a podium in reach.

#49 Nonesuch

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Posted 21 April 2019 - 09:53

Let the fun begin, and once again, guys: please, be a good egg, play along nicely.

 

Fernando Alonso ...

 

... would have been outscored by Tarso Marques in the current point system, had his career saved by his manager via a testing gig, should have been banned for his antics in Brazil '03, only did well when Michelin excelled in '03 and '04, cruised to an easy title in '05 whilst McLaren was DNFing and Ferrari had one Bridgestone-coloured arm tied behind their backs, won a title in 2006 after Schumacher had a DNF-from-the-lead and then got crashed into by Alonso's teammate, lost to a rookie in a team of cheaters and crashed out on his own to throw away the title in 2007, resorted to more cheating in 2008 to steal a win, was nowhere in 2009, piled on mistakes in 2010 to again throw away a title, only won one race in 2011 when his opponents were hampered by the FIA, lost form in 2012 and had to have Ferrari give his team-mate self-inflicted penalties to bump him up the grid, couldn't work out how to deal with DRS and broken front-wings in 2013, beat an old and unmotivated Räikkönen in 2014, then went to McLaren where he excelled only in ever more sarcastic commentary about his own team and engine, lost to Button. Fled to the WEC, where he only won Le Mans because his team is the only hybrid LMP1 car in the series and his PR-value led to team orders.

 

But we still love you Fernando.  ;)

 

giphy.gif



#50 milestone 11

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Posted 21 April 2019 - 10:01

Lewis Hamilton's veganism is very annoying. By all means go vegan, but don't shove it down my throat please. :mad:


At least he's doing his bit for the planet unlike 75% of the ER contingent.